When I Close My Eyes

By Julia Danielle Murphy

The Diary of My Life and Dreams: I write about things that are notreal, And feelings that Icannot feel. I write about dreams, And life as I wantit to be. I write about how I wish happily ever afterswere real, And hearts that could heal. I write aboutmy longing for love, And what it would be like tolive in a beautiful world and never have to wake up.I write about you and how you were always laughing,I write about a boy who was once here and smiling,And about what is now happening. I write aboutwhat I think it is to be happy. This is the diary of my
life and dreams, Here are the words of my diary.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jul 13, 2012
• ISBN: 9781466939523

Julia Danielle Murphy

Julia is fourteen and lives with her mother, father, Sarah her sister, and dog Sophie in Lewisville, Texas. She started to expand her passion for writing in the fourth grade. Julia loves animals and the environment; she is fighting to keep the earth alive. She is currently working on her second book.

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© Copyright 2012 Julia Danielle Murphy.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4669-3951-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-3953-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-3952-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012909830

Trafford rev. 06/14/2012

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North America & international

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Contents

Always Sky of Blue

My Broken Pieces

Different

The End

The Strings of Life Puppet Master

Never Ending Tears

Crying Rain

Black Rose

Feathers

Never Coming Rain

Just Another Bird

Will You… ?

The Meadow

The Wolf

Without You

Only One

The Ending of a Nightmare

My Pain

Cold Eyes

Ashes From the Sky

You Are the Reason

The Castle of Souls

Soon To Be Shattered Glass

Do You… Love Or Hate…

Goodbye…

I Will Not Let You Runaway

Other Side of Love What is Love?

Leaving Me

Tears of Mine

You Are My Fantasy

Waiting

Beautiful Dream

The Unsaid

A Part of Me

Broken From the Start

You Walk Away

Fallen Petals

You Are Everything

Two Halves of a Heart

Unknown Love of Mine

Risk Everything

Forever I Hear His Song

Can’t Hold On

Stop Time

Save Me

Eternal

I Will Believe

Always Running

On My Mind

I’m Falling

Drifting Away

Is it real?

Left Me

Letting Go

Too Late

Last Breath

No Longer Chasing

Screaming Your Name

Drowning

Stuck in a Dream

Dead

Pouring Rain

Don’t Let Love Go

Why Does Everything Have To Have An End?

Who I Really Am

Back in Reality

Hear the Truth, Hear the Lies

Remember Me

Blinding

Already Happening

Last Song We Sing

Burning

My Only Need

Shut Tight

I’ll Still Care

I Will Die

Not Today

Fooling Me

This Cannot Be Love

Need To Get Away

Toys and Guns

True Love Isn’t True

Hurting

Different Kind of Me

Love Disease

Forever Timeless Clock

Truly Nothing

Ripping Away My Dreams

Hear the Thunder

Lockless Key

Unfolding

Just Dreaming

Sacrificing

Not Enough

Once Was

You Can’t See Through My Heart

Flower of the Sky

Ditching You

Hiding Behind Lies

Always

Your Last Wave

Tell Me Everything

Stinging Truth

Why Are All the Good Guys Gay?

Bound

Only Fear

Never Had You

Leaving Scars

Don’t Look Back

Kidnapping December

Falling in Our Sleep

Fibbing

No Time

No Longer Here

Streams of Time

Waking

Hear Me, Hear Me

Dreaming Beauty

Last Day

Breaking Away

Fall of Our Environment

Dog Eating Zombie Army

Rope of Life

Rotting Heart

Believing

Unknowing

No Heart To Steal

Shores of Truth

Real Or Fake

Aware

Half a Heart

Never Did

Missing Heart

Scent of Him

Never Coming Prince

Will I Survive?

Black Sunshine

Forgetting Why

Around You

Fire and Ice

Blown Away With the Wind

Crumbling World

World of Delusion

Going and Gone

Coming

Under the Surface

Finally Come

Rising

Nothing is My Name

Defining My Life

Miles Between Us

Love Me Not

Hollow Emotions

What is Sadness?

Not the End of Us

Pools of Love

Until the Day

Unkept Promise

Shield of Hearts

Open Door

My Love

Mirror of Fog

Poison

Never Whole Without You

Testing love

Reading My Mind

Real You

Lullaby of Tears

Nature of Me

Flowing Rivers of Pain

Star-crossed Lovers

Knowing Love

Wake To Me

Refusing Reality

Engraved

Scaring Me

Truth of Me

Escaping Love

Mind’s Edge

Beating Clock

Soul Song

Red Tulips

Steaming Tears

Demon Melody

Blossom of Love

Key Hole

Song of the Screaming Bird

You and Me

Who Are We? (Lullaby)

The Cure

Forever Tag of Love

Missing December

Crimes Curse

Running Away From Love

Turning Around

The End

Into Your Arms

Obsessed

Deeper Than True

Unseen

Happiness Was Once Mine

Color of Love

Have You Ever Been So in Love?

Forever Waiting

Why

Erasing My Fears

Forever and After I Die

Souless Girl

Disappearing Love

Take Me

Ajar

From a Distance

The Forever Dancing Ballerina

My Kens

More Time

Background Character

Through

Reaching

World of Regret

Foggy Reality

Restart My Heart

Fairytale Girl

Erasing Spell

Ruining You

Crying

Butterflies in Me

Hiding the Love

In the Hands of Love

Upside Down

I Am Queen

Daughter of Artemis

Future of Lies

Ridiculous

I Once Knew You

Fairy Love

Unloved Dolly

Princeless Princess

Sleeping

Not Aloud

Guardian Angel

Do Not Even Know My Name

Balloon in the Sky

Racing You To Love

Steps To Getting Over You

Ugly Kind of Beautiful

Eyes of Mine

Winter

Glass Case

Chains

Sleep Spell

Smiling Lies

Unchanging

Seeing Nothing

A Little Longer

Never the Same Inside

Hideous Problems

Untrue Lover

Abyss Falling

Needles

Magic

Judging Me

Lost Feelings

Valentines Day

Him Or You?

Longing For You

No More Boys

Everything

Snow White

Changing Inside

And This is Why I Cry…

Rain Dance

The Beauty of Love

Love Spell

Until the End

Regretting the Past of Daisy

Proof of a Heart

Never So

Happiness

Lipstick Stains

The Meaning of Words

Chaining Me

Behind Eyelashes

In Love and in Life

I Hope To My Heart

Loving You is Pain

These Few Seconds

Empty

Dancer in the Flames

Depositing My Heart

The Truth of You

When I Know…

Never to Find

Rarely

Track of Life

My Savior Knight

Watch Me

Hate Me, Love Me So

Never To Be Mine

These Bullets That Pierce My Heart

Door To My Heart

Why Have You Not Come?

There to Bury You When You Die

Wakey, Wakey

The One in My Dreams

Bring Me Happiness

Happiness Without Doom

My Once Smiling Heart

Pretend

The Dairy of My Life and Dreams

In Life Or in Dreams

Dancing To the Sound of Love

Dedicated to

Mom, Dad, Meme Connie, Grandma Joanie, and Great Grandma Joyce, and of course: the boy with the most beautiful smile.

When I close my eyes, every space that surrounds me changes into what I wish it to be. When I close my eyes all of my dreams come true, and the sky is always blue; when I close my eyes you are still here with me.

Julia Danielle Murphy

Always Sky of Blue

No matter what you do,

I will always love you,

And the sky will always be blue,

As long as I’m with you.

My Broken Pieces

You broke my heart,

You tore it apart,

You took it away,

You chewed it up,

And flushed it down the drain,

It ended up in the dump,

You let it fly away,

And now I have to hear you say,

"With me it cannot play,

Do not let it stay,

Unless your heart is ready for another break."

Different

I’m not like them. I do not laugh when something is funny. I do not smile when I am happy. I do not cry when I get hurt. I do not have to think before I put one foot in front of the other, I just do it. I do not see things in the same way they do, I see the world at a different angle. When I look at them I wonder why I am not the same as them, why I’m different.

I am different from the rest of them.

The End

The time is running out, and the end is coming. Each second brings us closer to the end and when the end comes, all life will go. He will come, and save us, or he will not come, and we will all die. It all depends on him. It all depends on God. I know he will come and save us, I know this well, for he speaks to me in my dreams. I will find him, but I must hurry, for the end is coming soon.

The Strings of Life

Puppet Master

For some reason, I have lost control. I do not know what is going on anymore. I have lost control of what is happening in my life. Emotions are boiling up inside of me and birds are flying around my head wildly. I’m having a nightmare that I can’t wake up from, no matter how many times I pinch myself. But that is only because I am no longer in control of this dream. Someone else has taken over my dream, over my life. After a second or two the strings attached to my body start to come into view. I cannot believe I thought that I could control the strings; the strings of