In the Form of a Poem

By Victor Black

The Lord gives each of us a task in this life. We grow and learn to listen to Him or we move on in life never hearing His voice. I called out to God and He answered my request. He then gave me my task. This is an account of my life and the amazing work He gave me. It tells of my struggles both as a child and as an adult. How I allowed the Lord to work through me, and then let satan enslave me. The poetry was given as a book of teaching and for spiritual comfort. Yet my fall was of both ignorance and pride. I do thank the Lord for His patience and enduring love. He could have allowed me to die in my many sins. Though instead God waited on me to reach out in repentance. The summary in this book is to ask you, the reader to open your hearts along with your eyes and ears to the counsel of the Holy Spirit. Please study the word of God. Do not just attend some church and take any one persons word about what will happen in the very near future. Many people will be deceived, don't become one of them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 14, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481706636

Victor Black

Tamilene and Victor Black are dedicated to marriage ministry. Tamilene earned a master’s degree in human services and counseling studies from Capella University, and a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Upper Iowa University. Victor earned a bachelor’s degree in business administration from the University of Southern Mississippi. They both are military veterans, and reside in Madison, Alabama, where they lead a marriage and couples ministry. This book was written by inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

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© 2013 by Victor Black. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/11/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0660-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0663-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013900698

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Before I write any further, all of thy glory must be given to God, our Father with songs of praise for our loving Christ Jesus, who gives us the counsel of His Holy Spirit. My mind rewinds back many years as I thank God for this day. Never, would I have thought the turn of events would have ever come to pass. The Lord used a country boy’s weaknesses, and turned them into his strengths. I was forty five years old back then, and still a babe in Christ Jesus. As a youth I was forced to learn how to write with my right hand, the change made me dyslexic. So writing has always been a weakness in me. After climbing the ladder of trade in fitting, and welding pipe, I eventually became a level two piping inspector. Not long after reaching this field of trade, I fell thirty feet, and wound up having permanent damage to the nerves in my back. Yet I hold this book, The Holy Spirit has written through me. We walked, and witnessed with whom, so ever I was led to, all across these United States with this book. Never in my wildest dreams, would I have ever thought it to happen to such a sinner as I. Though I am the witness to the very fact of what God can, and will do through anyone, who will allow him the glory to do so. Though I have come to realize that I have not completed my given task, until this book has been handed over to all peoples, and nations. For Christ Jesus said, go throughout the world and make disciples in my name. I may not be able to physically go in person. Yet this book, Holy Spirit filled, may be sent out to do Gods will. I discovered during our great walk that many of the poems within the book, were manifested for certain individuals, and congregations along our way. Therefore, I am sure this book holds poetry that is meant to reach out to many others on this great earth. May the poetry in this book bless you, the people as it has me, along your great journey during this life’s age.

Though at this time, I feel you need to know about my struggles of this life. In order to show what our Father will do through us, if we will only allow Him. Do not allow doubt to enter in. Faith, hope, and love, are our tools to a successful Christian life. To accept the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal savior, is to believe without a doubt, that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son into the world. Jesus Christ gave His life as a human sacrifice, to pay an atonement for all the many sins of this world. And to believe, that after the third day, Jesus rose from the grave into everlasting life. He then ascended back into heaven, and now sits at His Father’s right hand. But only after, He gave God’s children the counsel of His Holy Spirit. We are given The Holy Spirit as our guide and counselor, only after we reach out in faith by asking God for His Holy Spirit to live in our hearts. Then we are to become one with Him. For He said, I will not leave you as orphans. Our sins are now forgiven, as we repent them. We must act in faith, to become more like our savior. We cannot stay out of sin, when we pack burdens, and strongholds along life’s way. This is where our faith must be put to great use. By believing, as we ask our Father to take each, and every one of them from us. This is to leave them at the foot of the cross. When baptized, we rise out of the water a new creation. Just as Jesus rose from death to everlasting life, we rise to spiritual life in Christ. A living temple, ready to invite The Holy Spirit in to live. If we do not, then our house has been swept clean from all evil. Yet it has been left empty, allowing the evil to reenter and occupy us once again. Jesus said, the person then becomes seven times worse than before. Because the evil spirit invites seven more spirits, more evil than him. Where The Holy Spirit lives, evil cannot abide!

I must now take you back to my childhood. In order to show how the Lord molded me as He worked through me. He knows my faith is great, and began using me before I knew how to apply Him into my life. God has given me the mindset to learn and obtain the wisdom, and great knowledge I so faithfully asked Him for. I became so zealous for our Christ, that He gave me such a blessed task, and then walked with me. Being born of water in1962, I Never actually knew my real mother. I met her, but twice before her death. The first time, cursing her for abandoning my siblings, and I. The second time, I forgave her of any wrongs against me. Then at my age of thirty-five, we buried our birth mother. I pray she is on the right side of paradise.

We were raised by a stepmother. I am very sure that there are many loving stepmothers in this great world of ours. We four siblings were not so lucky, being beaten and tormented on a daily bases. What hurt worse than my own torment, was to stand by having to watch my older siblings being beaten themselves, for no reasons I could see, other than to give her a thrill. I saw the wicked fun she was having, and could do nothing about it. We were often verbally abused with lies, and put downs. Being told, that none of us would ever amount to anything. This is something no child should ever have to endure. I remember one brother having to wear a dress while we raked a dirt yard, until it resembled a cultivated field. I’ve been told that we all wore dresses, though I haven’t the memory of it. There were times when we would be locked inside a dark root cellar for hours on end. I do remember beating on the door overhead until all my knuckles would be bleeding. There are many things my mind has blocked out, or may I say, perhaps the Lord blocked them out in order for me to remain sane. As I grow older in life, there are flashes of immoral abuse. But I rebuke them, never allowing Satan to get a foothold. The evil destroyer has used my tormented youth to his advantage most of my life. Until I learned how to meet God half way in my healing. To unite Prayer with the word of God. He s become my one true friend.

Our father was a very ambitious man, and stayed at his work most of the time. He was a superintendent in oilfield construction, and eventually owned His own business. My dad had his own faults, as we all do. He was a handsome man, and loved the ladies. Though, his ambition found him trying to sell the very business he had always wanted. Somehow this eventually led to his death. I do not believe our Father ever knew about our tormented abuse. Our stepmother had us very brainwashed in a way that if we said anything, then we would have it that much worse. I am the youngest of my father’s first four children, and the middle child of eight. Her children did not receive the abuse we endured. But I know they must have been mentally scarred also, by having to watch. The only peace of mind at this time in my life, was found at a very old Catholic Church. All of us children would walk there every Sunday. Sometimes we had to visit during the 7:00 am. Spanish Mass, so we could get back home, in order to go work at the ranch. All though I could not understand what was being said most the time. I still remember accepting Christ into my heart. Yet I told no one. Anytime we were with our father at the ranch, I found peace of heart. But in the back of my mind, I knew my older sister was back at the house receiving her share of our stepmother’s wrath. By this time in my life I had become a loner with a protective wall between myself, and the world as I knew it. I do look back, and realize the Lord had a hedge of protection around me. By the time I was fourteen years old, our father divorced our stepmother. But not before my two older brothers had found a way out, and my sister had run away from home. My stepmother had only me left to release her anger on. I remember so many times, wishing her dead. I could not help, but to hope otherwise. I had two years of peace and joy after their separation. My father then began making long trips to Alabama, while leaving me to feed the livestock. We were all very excited about moving to Alabama. Little did we know then, why he was in such a hurry to make the move. A contract had been put out on our father’s life. While he, and my two younger half-brothers were gone to Alabama, I drove to town one night. While gone, my 30 caliber rifle had been stolen. I did not realize this, until my father got back, and pulled me aside, and asked if I had pawned my rife. But he knew I had money in the bank. I saw worry in his eyes. But how could I put everything that was happening together? Not knowing the dealings of my father’s business partner. My father was trying his best to get out. But on the morning he was shot, and killed, at the gate of our ranch, I was the last to see him alive. I still remember waking up, as he opened the trailer door. My father looked at me, and smiled before closing the door, as I lay on the couch. I then drifted off, to be awakened by a rifle shot. In my heart, I knew something was wrong. I got my two younger brothers up to do our morning chores before school. As we opened the trailer house door, an ambulance was at the gate. I kept them from going by saying, the horses needed to be fed. When finished, we went to the gate of the property only to be told to go back to the house. I felt a hole in my heart. The case of our father’s death, I feel, was never investigated. Leading me to believe it to be a cover up. Yet, I blamed myself for many years because of the stolen rifle, and the fact that he was shot by a 30 caliber weapon. The life we knew had come to an abrupt halt. I wound up right back in the house of my stepmother. She told me I was not welcome there, and once the school year ended I had to go. My father was murdered in 1979. It was two years later before I finally broke down, and cried. I do not know if my father ever accepted Christ Jesus as his savior. All glory be to God, for He has held my hand all these years. Once the school year ended, my sister Dee, came and took me to a small town in northern Oklahoma. Yet, the friend she had been living with could not handle me, and the new situation. So we wound up living in a small rental house. Dee tried her best to keep us together, by working two jobs as I went to school. At the time she had not graduated from high school. Though she was determined that I would. My loving sister is not but eleven months older than I. Though, she was world wise for her years. We finally accepted the fact that we could not stay together, if I was going to finish school. Dee called our Aunt in Alabama, and a I was on the next greyhound bus. I had felt sorry for my sister. Who was stuck out in a world so cold, while I got to live in a nice house, and finish school. I realize now that the Lord was protecting my sister Dee, also. She has come a long way in this life. Dee has accepted the Lord as her one personal savior. She got her self a G.E.D, and went on to college. Mrs. Dee now works as a registered nurse. I am so very proud for her accomplishments. She has also opened a house for the disabled, and the elderly. All glory be to our God. My lord, I pray your blessings over Dee, and her family as they all follow your divine guidance, along the path to everlasting life.

By the time I arrived in Alabama, I was living in my own invisible shell. I was not a very vocal person, and was mistaken to be stuck on myself. These people, just did not know my past. I eventually grew out of this enough to get along with most people. I was a handsome young man, and shied away from the attention the young ladies gave me. I had way too many mental handicaps, to even begin to understand all their attention. I could not see myself as they did. I had been smoking marijuana, on occasion since the death of my father. The high seemed to help me escape reality, or so I thought, at the time. Instead of putting faith in the Lord, I searched an escape route from mental anguish, with pot. I had been told many times in my youth, by the teachers who also taught my older siblings, that I was the one with the kindred spirit. Yet by now, I was putting up a mean front, so as to not allow anyone close to a very broken heart.

My Aunt, and Uncle gave me a good home. but I never made myself welcome. We would all go to a Church out in the country every Sunday. Yet I did not make myself welcome there either. I had turned away from faith in the Lord after the murder of my father. There were many signs, and blessings that I missed at this point in my life, while trying to be my own shrink. At the age of twenty, I met a beautiful young lady. When our eyes met, I knew then we would be married someday. In time we were married, and the Lord blessed us with two beautiful girls, who are eighteen months apart. This would have been the best time for my wife, and I to turn our lives over to the Lord, and praise Him for our blessings. We both believed in Christ Jesus, but we were of the world. It seems we were always hunting a high, instead of accepting, our most high God. The pride of my work, would keep me away from home. In time, we drifted apart so much that I could not even recognize the woman I had married. The much needed honest, trust of our marriage had now been wasted away. So I sank even deeper into my work, with the outlook that what I could not see would not hurt me. I wound up in northern Oklahoma, living a divorced life. Bitterness being my breakfast, as broken heartedness became my evening dinner. A young lady saw my distress and, took me to visit a Pastor she knew. After a long talk, I accepted Christ into my heart. As I left him, there was a peace in my heart, I had never experienced before. I had made myself a promise when getting married. That if we had any children, I would do all that could be done, in order to keep our family together. About six months after our divorce my ex-wife wanted to try again. I could not refuse her. So I shared with her, and the girls about my salvation. We even began going to an old country church. In time, my daughters came to me, and said they wanted to get baptized, I told them I did too, but we needed to await their mother, One morning, out of the blue she rose up, and walked to the front. I remember all of us being so overwhelmed with joy. The following Sunday we were all four Baptized together. For a brief moment, I actually thought our family would work out. But I never saw any changes in her. I could not help but wonder if she had gone through the motions, in order to get the girls off her back about it. All I could do was pray for God to help us. At this time, I had only read the bible once, with little understanding. I realize now that a house divided will never stand. In my mind, I finally gave up on our life together, once more. Yet I could not bring myself to calling it quits, as long as I could stay on the road, at my work. The children would not go through the pain of some final separation. A couple should become one, with our Lords true guidance when they decide on getting married, and not just become one through the blessing of their children. It is imposable to think this would work otherwise. I would always call before starting the trip home, so that there would be no surprises. Yet, I got home very late one Friday night, after the long drive from Florida. When entering the house, I heard another man’s voice in our bedroom. Knowing my temper, I walked to the back of the house to check on our daughters. By me doing this, the stranger would be able to sneak out. I had to hire in on another job the following Monday. So for two days I humored my wife, and played with my two beautiful daughters. When leaving them, I drove to northern Alabama. Yet while driving I yelled at God while crying out loud. I insisted that He take me off the road so I could try, and save the family. After hiring in at the job sight, the General Forman walked up to me, and said I was needed on night shift. He told me to find a hotel, and rest up until 6:30 that evening. That very night, I walked across the second floor of a sawmill with the night Forman. The day shift had been cutting out part of the area, and had not flagged the cutting area correctly. In a flash, the concrete fell out from under me. I looked up while trying to crawl away and saw two pieces of concrete weighing at least One thousand pounds apiece, swinging over my head. Each object had, but one piece of rusty wire, one eighth of an inch thick, called No. 9 wire. At this moment, I was just trying to move out the way. Then later that night I got to thinking, and it seemed mathematically impossible. The angels of heaven saved me and I give you all the glory my sovereign Lord. My back was permanently damaged by the fall. Yet my mind, wound up so much worse. I could do nothing to save the failed relationship. A long look in the mirror of my soul, found me lost on a path I did not know. Two surgeries later, I was homeless, and grew worthless by the day. I was strung out on any drug that would help me escape reality. I spent four years blaming God while hating the world. During this time, I also drove my daughters away. I could not even recognize that man in the mirror. Towards the end of my four year pity party, my truck broke down one Friday night, while on the wrong side of Montgomery Alabama. I could not get anyone to tow the truck to a shop until Monday morning. So I stayed with my truck until then. I was lucky to get away from there without a scratch on me. The people threatened my life, several times during the long night hours. At this time, I reached out to God with a contrite heart, and begged Him for help. I asked the Lord to help me with my drug problem, and to deliver me from the path I had wondered down, as I begged His forgiveness for the hate in my heart. The Lord had been waiting on me to