Eagles' Fun: A Fun Collection of Wild and Wacky Short Stories Featuring the Eagles Cribbers

By Pup

High School Fun
Bavarian Fun
A Few Limericks and poems



Chuck Hickey is 81 years of age and many years retired. He has written for the enjoyment of his co-workers for many years. Countless limericks, poems, and short adventures of a sort, mostly in a humorous vein.

I reside with my wife, Jet, and our beloved doggie, Tinabelle, near Kyle, Texas. Many years ago I joined an online adult cribbage league. Eagle's League is a member of Case's leagues (POGO) and we play our games in POGO, Cribbage, Four player, Social, Four Square room. As you will see, I ,Pup, have taken this zany bunch through many adventures, and they have responded well, clamoring for more and more. A great bunch to portray, really.

Naval Fun was submitted to a short story contest, was accepted, and has been published. The others are all new to the public.

If you like these stories, or, better yet, if you like these characters, join us in Four Square, and we'll even sign you up, if you like. You'll have a blast. These people are every bit as nutty as they're portrayed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 19, 2011
• ISBN: 9781468508659

Pup

About the Author. Chuck Hickey is 81 years of age and many years retired. He has written for the enjoyment of his co-workers for many years. Countless limericks, poems, and short adventures of a sort, mostly in a humorous vein. I reside with my wife, Jet, and our beloved doggie, Tinabelle, near Kyle, Texas. Many years ago I joined an online adult cribbage league. Eagle's League is a member of Case's leagues (POGO) and we play our games in POGO, Cribbage, Four player, Social, Four Square room. As you will see, I ,Pup, have taken this zany bunch through many adventures, and they have responded well, clamoring for more and more. A great bunch to portray, really. Naval Fun was submitted to a short story contest, was accepted, and has been published. The others are all new to the public. If you like these stories, or, better yet, if you like these characters, join us in Four Square, and we'll even sign you up, if you like. You'll have a blast. These people are every bit as nutty as they're portrayed.

Book preview

Hospital Fun

Chapter I

In the1930s, very few small towns in rural America could boast of having a hospital. Getting to a hospital could mean a trip of several hundred miles or so on two-lane, sometime unpaved roads. Time consuming, and very expensive for people in a country that was emerging from a great depression. This story will take place in a small town with a new hospital, and a rather large one for the size of the town. At this point in time, life expectancy for American men was 59 years, and an American woman could look forward to about 61 years.

Case’s Hospital in Eagletown had been in operation for a few years now. Eagletown had three physicians, all working from and in the hospital. House calls were the norm in those days, simply because people who were sick waited in hopes of healing instead of going to the Doctor. Many rural doctors were up all hours of the night attending the sick. One such was Dr. Tammy, an obstetrician, who had spanked almost every young bottom in the Eagletown area, most birthed in their own homes.

Dr, Bill was an internist, and had practiced in Eagletown for many years. It was largely through his perseverance (and a bit of luck) that Eagletown had this nice spacious hospital. Bill was a very skilled surgeon, and almost ten years ago, in his office, on a primitive operating table, he had perforned a perfect emergency operation on a ruptured appendix belonging to a very wealthy patient. Mr. Case was a pioneer industrialist in farm equipment and had largely financed the hospital.

Dr. Chrissie was new to Eagletown. Two years out of internship. she had opted for the rural life, and had, through correspondence with Dr. Tammy, established residence here. Chrissie hardly ever left the hospital during the daylight hours. Chrissie was a capable physician, and ruled the hospital with an iron hand. Dr. Chrissie was a little short on tact, and had a complete lack of bedside manner. If you came to her dying, she would just pick up the phone and call Chris, the local mortician for you.

In the chain of command, so to speak, Head Nurses Ros and Monica ruled the two floors during the daytime and Head Nurse Karen had the entire operation at night Their off days were filled by Head Nurse Lilly, who usually worked the night shift.

It was the hot midsummer of 1934. Case’s Hospital owned three automobiles All three were black 4-door Ford Model A’s. Dependable vehicles, and roomy enough to sub for an ambulance in those days. Dr. Bill was in his office removing the cast from the well-mended leg of a local farmer named Marc. Dr. Chrissie was at the nurse’s station with Monica, the head nurse on the lower floor. She was mad at Pup, the orderly, over something, and she told him to go outside and water the lawn and shrubs. Chrissie was kind of bossy, and it bothered her that she got very ittle respect from Monica. Monica was a good nurse, though, and she knew and performed her job well. Monica politely said it was almost lunch time, and she needed Pup to wheel the food to the patients. Dr, Chrissy glared and went to the second floor.

Head Nurse Ros was a beauty. By her own assertion, she was the most beautiful woman in Eagletown, and after four drinks, in the world. Chrissie found her tending to Mike, who owned the saloon in Eagletown. Mike had a bad case of gout, and had been admitted by Dr. Tammy, after having been diagnosed with high uric acid retention. He had been on a diet of water, strawberries and watermelon for three days. Mike was hot, he was cranky, his right lower leg and foot were killing him, and he wanted a steak and beer. The second floor orderly, Bonnie, was holding his foot in a tub of warm salt water and Ros was spoon-feeding him some strawberries. Vitamin C and its many benefits had been newly discovered, and it seemed beneficial for gout patients. Dr. Chrissie assisted with getting Mike settled, Ros administered two Anacin tablets, and they went to the nurse’s station.

There were two other patients on the second floor. Gaet, who operated the Eagletown stable and blacksmith shop had an intestinal disorder of some kind. Bill had ran some tests under the microscope and isolated some bacteria. They were waiting for the results from the university on those, and a bland diet and rest was all that Gaet was prescribed at this time. Bill wanted him to remain hospitalized because of the possibility of contagion.

The third patient on the second floor was Deni. Dr. Tammy’s patient, she had a terrible case of tonsilitis, and Tammy was treating the swelling, trying to get it down so Bill could remove them. Deni was one of the town’s biggest gossips. She knew everything there was to know about everyone, and her revelations about the townspeople were starting to get on everyone’s nerves.

Dr. Chrissie went over the patient’s charts on the second floor and then went to her office downstairs. Everything seemed in order. Pup was wheeling the dirty food trays to the kitchen, and Bill had left on a house call. Case’s had eighteen beds and had never been full, With a low patient load, they just put everyone in a private room.

The first floor had four patients, one to be released later in the day. Doo, who played the piano and sang at the saloon, was in 101 with the worst case of painful laryngitis Dr. Chrissy had ever seen. Doo couldn’t even make a good croak, and it was chronic. It just wouldn’t go away.

Lisa, an attractive, loquacious young lady who worked for Anneke at the bank was in room 107, She had had a severe case of summer flu, and would probably be released tomorrow. Monica was counting the hours for that. Lisa was ambulatory, and never shut up. She was all over the ward, and would go in and pester Doo with incessant chatter, knowing that Doo couldn’t answer her, and it infuriated Doo.

Marianne was in room 104, and she was a blonde goddess. (not as pretty as Ros, of course). She worked for Lena at the mercantile store, and had an urinary problem. Sulfa drugs were very new to medicine but Case’s had been able to acquire some, and Marianne had responded well to them. Bill was to release her later today. Monica would miss Marianne, a model patient, and Pup adored the ground she walked on.

Room 105 was next to the nursing station, where they placed patients who required a lot of care. Dawn, in room 105 was really a psychiatric case. She had fallen, taken a nasty whack on the head, and was a bit slow in getting it’ back. Physically, she was healthy as a horse, and that was the problem. She was hard to handle, and she wanted out of the hospital, or thought she did. It was about 4pm and Dawn was raising hell for some tea. It was the same thing almost every day. She would become a different personality. Well-educated, and with a brilliant mind, she had many personalities to draw from. Dawn never even drank tea. Today she thought she was a British lady, or somethng, and had to have tea. Yesterday she had been a pirate and was all over the hospital trying to get everyone to walk the plank". Medicine wasn’t ready for Dawn yet.

Marianne had left the hospital that evening just about the time Lilly came on duty. Karen had the night off, and would probably found at at the saloon. She was a two-fisted drinker, a two-fisted fighter, and the best pool player around. Around 11pm, all was quiet in the wards, and the phone rang. It was Dr. Tammie telling her a patient was enroute to the hospital, and she (Tammie) would be there to assist admitting him. Dan, who worked for the city at the cemetery and Chris at the mortuary, had gotten into a swarm of bees, and was in pretty bad shape. Lilly had her night orderly, Paul, ready room 104, vacated earlier and near her station. The bees had hit Dan pretty hard. His vital signs were good, though, and Tammy had given him a morphine injection. They got his bites painted with iodine, worked some unguentine into them, and he was fairly comfortable.

Lisa, ever curious, had gotten up and was giving a lot of advice. Dawn had also awakened and was trying to brush her hair, using her rather large hand-held round brush. The brush apparently set her off. She was suddenly everywhere using the brush as a magnifying glass, checking everyone for clues, and making professional sounding remarks to an imaginary Dr. Watson.

Chapter II

The five-member hospital board consisted of the three physicians, Lena, a merchant, and Rose, a city council member They were meeting to finalize the hiring of three badly needed nurses-aides. Eagletown was growing, as were neighboring towns, and the hospital was getting to be too much for the existing personnel. they had agreed to hire Nece, an attractive young woman who had no formal training but had scored exceptionally well on the aptitude tests The next applicant approved was Mariska, a, pretty peppy young lady with some formal training in medicine. The third hiree was Georgia, an older very capable woman with previous experience in a large city hospital.

All three wanted to work with Ros, of course, and through a drawn-out process, the Board decided to rotate the three at this time. Their vacancies (days off, vacations, etc.) would go unfilled until they felt they could hire a fourth aide. Nece was assigned to Monica as the first floor was usually the busiest, and she would gain valuable experience sooner. Mariska went to Ros, and the more experienced Georgia’s first three-months would be with Karen at night.

Dr. Chrissie probably had the most medical expertise of the three physicians as she had gone to medical school much later, and simply had had more to learn. Bill and Tammy had had to keep up as best they could through medical journals. Dr. Chrissie had "pushed’ for an X-Ray machine, which had been ordered and should arrive soon.

Dr. Chrissie had been particularly interested in Dawn’s case. She felt Dawn had a form of recurrent amnesia, and little was known about it at this time. Physically, Dawn was fine, and was herself usually until in the afternoons when something would cause her to assume another personality. When Dr. Tammy told her about the hair brush and the ensuing Sherlock Holmes caper, something rang a bell.

Doo had miraculously regained her vocal powers, and was busy catching up on lost talk as she was discharged. Lisa was back at the bank, Dan was still recovering from his bites, and Gaet’s lab results should be in today. Deni was scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning, and Mike still wasn’t responding well. Ros thought maybe someone was sneaking him hamburgers, but she could find no evidence of it.

Pup had just finished dumping and cleaning the bedpans when they admitted his friend, Nina. Her back had gone out on her and she was in extreme pain, unable to even walk unassisted. Nina was placed in a wheelchair and taken to the second floor. Dr. Chrissie and Ros gave her some Anacin and got her in bed and as comfortable as possible. Nina owned and operated Eagletown’s only clothes—cleaning establishment. In those days there was a lot of dry-cleaning to be done. Mariska brought her in a pitcher of ice water, and they chatted for a few moments.

Downstairs, Monica was frantic. Dawn was missing. She had both Pup and Nece looking for her, and she was nowhere to be found. There was the sudden sound of a siren, and Don, the police chief, pulled into the emergency entrance with Dawn, who was fine. He had found her in the intersection of Pogo and Main with a whistle, directing traffic. She was a traffic cop today, Monica called off the hunt and gave Dawn a shrimp cocktail. Dawn loved shrimp.

The business office was on the main floor, rear, behind Monica’s station. A roomy, pleasant office, good view of the grounds, and occupied by Doug, an accountant. Doug was a sort of handsome, well-liked, friendly fellow, and in those days, he got what he could from the patients. The entire country was in dire straits for money yet, and Doug was good enough to keep the hospital in the black. Payday was every Friday. Doug usually had the paychecks handed out by noon, and Anneke and Lisa at the bank usually had them cashed two hours later. Doug always had Pup pick him up a large cherry-coke at Katie’s soda fountain on the way back from the bank, as he loved them. A nice quiet routine, really.

Dr. Tammy had been at the hospital almost all day. She and Dr. Chrissie had devised a brace for Nina to wear, and it seemed to help. Dr. Chrissie prescribed something for sleep at night until further notice, and requested warm packs to the affected area every 4 hours or so.

Dr. Bill pulled into the emergency area about 7pm that night and he and Karen and Georgia admitted Ken, who was doubled up with abdominal pain. Bill had Karen administer morphine immediately, as he was sure Ken had a dislodged stone. Ken had moved to Eagletown some years ago and had opened Eagletown Lanes, their 6-lane bowling establishment. They placed Ken in room 101 and settled him for the night. Bill hoped the morphine would cause the stone to pass.

The following afternoon Bonnie was finishing up a few chores and noticed Dawn out on the lawn. Pup or Nece was usually with her, but she seemed alone. She had a waste basket upside down over her head, one arm across her chest, and seemed to be giving orders with the other arm. Pup got to her first, and she told him, The British are coming. The British are coming. She was either George Washington or Paul Revere all afternoon, fighting the British.

The hospital was unusually busy today, Deni’s tonsils and adenoids had been successfully removed, her temperature was normal, and she would be released in a few days. She was detained mostly for post—operative pain. Gaet was going to be fine. He had a slight droop in the left eyelid where a bee had apparently severed a nerve. Ken’s stone had passed and he’d be released tomorrow. Mike was finally responding to his diet, and was happily sitting up in his room, enjoying a cigar.

The hospital was filling up, patients coming and going. Despite the activity, When Dr. Chrissie heard of the Revolutionary War fought by Dawn she decided to put her plan into action the following day. Discussing it with Monica, they agreed it was a logical solution, and just might work.

That afternoon, Mariska proudly had the Nurse’s station all by herself for the first time. Ros had entered a beauty pageant (which she eventually won, of course) and had taken several days off. Mariska was at her desk going over charts and she had decided to check on a few patients and take some temperature readings when she heard a loud tapping on the counter above her head. She looked up, seeing it was Dawn. Looking very serious, Dawn told Mariska, Quoth the raven, nevermore. Mariska sighed, and taking Dawn by the arm took her downstairs, turning her over to Monica. Dawn was now muttering something about the lost Lenore and dark and dreary. Monica gave Edgar Allen a sedative and put her in bed.

The next morning Dr. Chrissie and Moni had their plans laid, and all hospital personnel were put on alert to notify a nurse’s station at the first sign of Dawn being something other than Dawn. Monica had sent Pup to the Eagletown Emporium, Lena’s store, to pick up an item for her. It was about 2:30 pm when Bonnie was approached by Dawn. Dawn had a large paper bag, and was reaching in to give Bonnie something. Ho! Ho! Ho!, Dawn cried, and gave Bonnie a napkin she’d swiped from the cafeteria. Bonnie and Mariska grabbed her and steered her to the first floor station where Santa was soon Ho Ho Ho-ing and passing out napkins. Dr. Chrissie came over and gave Santa a nice gift. It was a very large and pretty hand mirror, and she held it right to Dawn’s face. Dawn looked into the mirror, and in a matter of seconds was no longer Santa. She was herself, Dawn!

It had worked! Whatever triggered Dawn’s subconscious mind had usually been in the afternoons. The Doctor had figured that Dawn was always fine for several hours after arising because she saw her own image in the large mirror in the bathroom every morning. It would wear off in several hours and Dawn would see or find something that would trigger her subconscious, and she would change entities. The mirror had brought her back to normal.

Dawn was pronounced medically cured and released four days later. Nina was fine in a few days. Her problem had been partially muscular. No permanent spinal problems were found. Ken had been discharged as his stone has passed. Mike was healed and had gone home. The hospital was averaging around ten patients contantly now, and the staff was busy. Ros had gone to the state capitol to the State Beauty finals (which she won, of course), and was on a month’s leave. Mariska was in charge of the second floor for the interim. The X-ray machine was up and running.

Four peaceful months had gone by. Ros was in California in the Miss America pageant (which she, of course, won), and Mariska was filling in admirably.

Monica was tired—long shifts in the hospital, and it was 5pm. One more hour and Karen would relieve her. She left the station for a few minutes, and when she returned, Dawn was there. Dawn had bumped her head again and wanted Monica to look at it. Monica seated her in the emergency room and parted Dawn’s hair with her fingers. Monica wore a rather large nurse’s type wrist watch, and Dawn noticed it. Suddenly, Dawn stiffened, looked at her open hand, and said, I’m late! I’m late! Monica was almost spellbound as Dawn glared fiercely, and said, Off with their heads! Off with their heads! Monica sighed, sedated the Queen of Hearts, and put her back in room 105.

THE END

Rest Home Fun

Chapter I

The ShadyGrove rest home sat on an attractive, well-manicured block near downtown Eagletown. Wide walkways, comfortable benches, brilliant shrubs, and flower gardens dotted the lush, green lawns surrounding the large two-storied dormitory-type building. Shady Grove contained a large recreation room, an excellent dining room, a large kitchen, a small library, a gymnasium, and had an excellent staff.

In this story you will meet some of the staff and elderly inmates of this magnificent rest home. The year is 1975. The facility was built and opened in 1960.

It was Bingo night at Shady Grove, and the big tables were filling up fast. The luckiest Bingo player was usually Jojo, but she wouldn’t be playing tonight, as she had gotten sick during dinner, thrown up all over herself, and was sedated and in bed. The 81-year old would just get too excited sometimes and lose it. Pup and Bonnie, the orderlies, had cleaned up the mess, and dinner had resumed. Jojo shared a room with Debz, who was only 74, and in pretty good shape. Debz, who loved to play cards, would help the older Jojo get dressed and prettied up some mornings.

Nece figured she’d win big tonight with Jojo sidelined as she was pretty darn lucky herself. At 71, Nece was one of the younger residents at the rest home, and she was a pretty sharp cookie. Didn’t use a walker nor a cane and dressed all by herself. Her roommate was Tammy, who, at 77, was older and getting a bit frail. Nece would never help Tammy, but would call Bonnie or someone if Tammy needed anything or had a bad spell.

All of the rooms were on the second floor, and the lower floor was mostly facilities with a large office and a nursing-type station. The 5 living areas on the ground floor were roomy one-room apartments, and were really an assisted living arrangement. One of these was occupied by Mike and Vickie, a married couple. Another was occupied by Bob and Georgia, also a married elderly couple. Mike, 80, used a walker but still fell a lot. Vickie, 76, was a small, rather wiry woman, and when Mike fell, she would start screaming until someone got him back on his feet. Georgia, 79, and Bob, 81, were still active and ambulatory (albeit a bit slow), and they were a bit standoffish in that they selected their friends. It was quite an honor for some of the other residents to get to dine with this couple on occasion.

The second youngest resident was Scott, who was only 51. Robust and healthy, he was a handsome physical specimen, but he had a cerebral problem. In other words, Scott was crazy. He had been a scientist with the Defense Department, and suffered a nervous breakdown, losing his mind. He had brief, lucid moments, but his medication just wasn’t working. Well—liked and harmless, Scott was probably the happiest person in Shady Grove. Scott’s biggest problem was that he didn’t look like a resident—he looked like staff. Visitors would on occasion spot him, and ask him directions or something. Scott, being a helpful type of person, would try to help, and all hell might break loose. He roomed with Bill, who was almost as big and healthy as he was, but much older. Bill was 79 years old, and ambulatory with a cane—which he would constantly lose. It seemed as though people were always looking for Bill’s cane.

Dawn and Ros both had Alzheimer’s Disease, and they were roommates. This worked out well, as both repeated the same things day after day, and they could communicate without knowing it was the same thing every day. Dawn was 80, and Ros was78. Both could dress themselves, and neither needed an aid to walk. Dawn was a very prim old lady. Very friendly, she could sit and talk for hours even if there was no one to talk to. Ros was quite a bit more reserved. She was a problem to the staff only when she reverted back to the beauty queen she once was and would try to leave her room wearing only her underclothes. Almost every night Dawn and Ros would anxiously wait to see Lonesome Dove on television, as they had always wanted to see it.

Monica was part—owner, a licensed nurse, and a director at Shady Grove. She was passing out Bingo cards, telling all the players to take no more than 6. Scott was helping Bill get seated (he’d lost his cane again). Scott wanted to play and took 1 card, which would still be difficult for him. Chrissie (6 cards) and Karen (6 cards) shared a room and got along well. Chrissie, 75, was in good health, took very little medication, and no bull at all. Stoutly built, no one crossed Chrissie twice. Karen was only 47, the youngest of the residents. Karen had simply just burned the candle at both ends for too many years. Karen, who weighed 98 pounds, knew she always had Chrissie on her side, and if Chrissie was around, Karen could get more than a little obnoxious.

Monica always called the balls slowly, giving the slower players a chance to get help with their cards. Bill (6 cards) was helping Scott, and Dawn (2 cards) and Ros (3 cards) were just spotting their cards at random, as they would sometimes forget the number called before they could spot it. Lilly (6 cards) won the first game and got fifteen dollars. Lilly was 75 and shared a room with Tricia, who was 80. They got along well. Tricia was a bit (ahem) overly outgoing and a bit impatient. She lived for the moment and if she saw something she wanted, she wanted it this moment. Lilly liked Tricia, though, and mothered her a lot.

Paul was hollering BINGO and jumping up and down. This was the big blackout, and the last game. Monica checked his card and gave him twenty-five dollars. The other players were all grumbling and cussing, looking at their cards, and glaring at Paul. Paul, almost 82, and Dan,82, amicably shared a room. Paul was a good dancer, and the ladies loved him, especially on dance nights. Dan was a great card player and everyone always wanted to be his partner in Spades or Cribbage.

Debbie, the night nurse, was passing out medication for the night, and tucking everyone in. Almost finished, she was helping Gaet, 77, get into his bed. Gaet had severe arthritis and movement was sometimes difficult for him. He took a lot of medication, mostly for the pain. With his walker, he got around well, though, and was well liked by everyone. His roommate, Ed, was already asleep. Ed was 79, one of the more active residents, and helped the others a lot. He was a boon to the staff, really. Ed only took one medication, and that was to lower his blood pressure.

Debbie saved the worst two rooms for the last because they were like little kids, wanting to stay up. At Shady Grove it was lights out at midnight, except for the assisted living units. Lena, 81, and Doo, 78, shared a room. Both had taught high school for years, and both were very set in their ways. Both were avid readers, and both were very pedantic. They argued and fought constantly, but every time the directors tried to move one or the other out, they would hug each other and cry how they would each just die without the other

Debbie sighed—one more room. Lisa and Elaine, both in their mid-seventies, were just the opposite of Doo and Lena. They were huggers and loved up on people every chance thay had. Debbie braced herself, went through the door, and was instantly grabbed and hugged almost to the point of strangulation. When they finally let her so, she medicated them and got them settled for the night. Lisa was a wealthy retired banker and a big spender. Elaine had been a deputy in a large state agency and was still a bit bossy.

Chapter II

Thursday was a beautiful, clear day. Pup and Bonnie had the smaller bus loaded now, and Pup pulled out, heading for Wal-Mart. They would take their eight charges to Wal-Mart for a brief outing and a bit of shopping, They would have lunch at McDonald’s inside the store and then return home. Everyone was so excited. Wal-Mart was an adventure to these people.

As the bus pulled into traffic, Bonnie finally got Lisa seated and buckled in. Lisa was complaining that she hadn’t hugged everyone yet. Chrissie, ever protective of Karen, had given her the window seat. Dawn, always methodical, had her shopping list clutched in her gnarled