One Chance in a Lifetime: The Life Story of an Irish Orphan Girl and How She Enriched the Lives of a Family of Eight

By John R. Kilsheimer

EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING HAPPEN ONCE WHICH CAN CHANGE THEIR LIFE FOREVER. SOME TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT AND FIND THEMSELVES TRULY BLESSED. However, too many let it pass by and forever wonder with regret what could have resulted if they had just accepted the challenge and not let the opportunity pass.

I was a young Naval officer recruit when I met a young Irish orphan girl on a blind date. Her childhood had been far different from most young girls as her father was an Irish immigrant who at around sixty years of age married a young lady in her early thirties. Betts was their only child. Unfortunately her mother died when Betts was just two years old and her father died when she was eleven. From the time she was an infant until she was ready for high school, she lived mainly with two orders of Catholic nuns. At that time she became a foster child to a family from Armenia.

After our first date, Betts and I became a close twosome until my Naval duties took me to the South Pacific during WWII. After a separation of close to fifteen months a Dear John letter brought me to my senses of what was really important in my life.

The book recounts how the situation was rectified as we both realized What Could Change Our Lives Forever And Took Advantage Of It. Just prior to our marriage, Betts said she had spent so much of her life alone that she hoped we would have a large family. That request was answered. Her most gracious, friendly nature was appreciated by everyone she met. She was the center of stability for our family as we weathered the uncertainties of my business career and lived in thirteen homes in five states.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9781467054362

John R. Kilsheimer

John Kilsheimer was born in Westchester County just north of New York City. He joined the Naval Reserve in 1941 just prior to the U.S. entry into World War II and was commissioned a Naval officer in February 1944. After serving in the South Pacific in the amphibious forces, he continued his education and received his Ph.D. in organic chemistry. He worked for four different Fortune 500 companies in the agricultural chemical field and authored twenty-four U.S. patents and over one hundred foreign patents. He retired in 1982 as a Senior Vice President of The Scotts Company, a subsidiary of ITT. John and his wife, Betts, then “retired” to Florida and together entered the real estate field. About 10 years later, they finally retired fully and John then pursued his two hobbies: fishing and writing. To date he has authored four non-fiction books: How The Navy and I Survived Each Other During WWII; Bedtime Stories By Chase (John's miniature schnauzer); Negotiation Techniques to Help Your Family, Your Business, and Yourself; and the present book, One Chance In A Lifetime. In his latest book, John tells how he met his future wife, Betts, an Irish orphan girl on a blind date. He states, “It was the happiest first date I had ever experienced.” They were happily married for sixty-one years until the Lord called her back to Himself in 2008. Together they had six daughters all in the education profession and to date have eleven grandchildren, seven great-grandchildren, and six foster children in third world countries.

Book preview

Chapter One

The Beginning

EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING HAPPEN ONCE WHICH CAN CHANGE THEIR LIFE FOREVER. SOME TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT AND FIND THEMSELVES TRULY BLESSED. However, too many let it pass by and forever wonder with regret what could have resulted if they had just accepted the challenge and not let the opportunity pass.

This story begins December 4, 1861 when Thomas Carraher was born in Ireland. When he was around 20 years old, he immigrated to the United States as there was significant poverty in Ireland. He had no relatives in America and it is thought he traveled alone to what he believed was the Land of Opportunity. He arrived in New York City and lived in that general area for the rest of his life. He resided both on Wadsworth Avenue and Bennett Avenue in Manhattan and Nereid Avenue in the Bronx. He obtained his United States citizenship on October 9, 1888 in Kings County, Brooklyn, New York.

He worked hard and held many positions including being a bank guard, and finally found his niche and became a real estate broker in Long Island City, Queens, New York. He was a devout Irish Catholic who remained single for many years, but in 1920 he married Emily Schaefer of Protestant heritage. They had one child, Elizabeth Henrietta Emily Carraher, born December 21, 1924. At that time Thomas was 63 years old and Emily was 36.

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Betty’s Dad

In the early 1920’s there was an outbreak of tuberculosis (TB) in the northeastern United States and Mrs. Carraher contracted this disease. She was sent to a sanitarium in Saranac Lake in upstate New York. Unfortunately, she died in 1927 when Elizabeth (later called Betty) was not yet 3 years old.

Chapter Two

Betty’s Early Childhood

Betty’s father knew that he could not raise a very young child all by himself. Betty had remembered that she had stayed with an order of nuns a short distance north of New York City, and her father would visit her on most weekends and holidays. After her death, I found a letter Betty had handwritten in October 1934 when she was eleven years old. The return address was St. Clare School, Mt. Hope, NY Hastings on Hudson. This immediately led me to an order of Franciscan nuns at Hastings on Hudson whose members were in the process of closing down their facility. A sister, Barbara Eirich, searched their files and sent me a detailed copy of Betty’s school records from the beginning up to the middle of her sixth grade. She also located records that showed Betty had been baptized in New York City but had made her First Communion at their chapel at Mount Hope in 1928 and later her Confirmation there in 1933. The earlier records where preschool children had lived at their orphanage were not available as that facility had been closed down many years ago. Sister Eirich’s help was invaluable, and she commented how Betty’s records showed that she was an outstanding student.

In time Betty’s father located an order of nuns whose facilities were closer to his home. These were the Ursuline Sisters located on the Grand Concourse in New York City. Betty boarded and schooled with these sisters until she finished the eighth grade. They were very kind to her and she developed a most pleasing, gracious personality. There were only a few students in each of her classes and she received an excellent education. She could spend a lot more time staying with her father on weekends and school holidays. The two of them became very closely bonded. Interestingly, her father gave Betty a lot of freedom and she became very self-reliant. She later discussed how when her father was busy on a weekend, she would travel by herself on a New York subway to different places of interest. However, her favorite activity was the trips she and her dad would take many weekends. They would simply ride the ferry from New York City to Staten Island and back. They would stay on board for several trips. The cost was only a nickel each for an afternoon of fun and companionship and time in the fresh, open-water air away from the city streets.

Chapter Three

Relocation

Unfortunately, Betty’s dad died in April 1936 when he was 74 years of age and Betty was just 11 years old. He was buried in the The Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Mount Pleasant Valhalla, New York next to his wife Emily. This cemetery now has many celebrities residing there, including Babe Ruth and James Cagney.

Betty’s dad had no immediate living relatives in this country which resulted in a court hearing to decide who would care for Betty. Older relatives on her deceased mother’s side wanted to essentially adopt Betty and have her live with them. The key person was a woman whom Betty called Aunt Liz. Betty was probably named after her and had been to her home several times. However, there was an alternative situation which also had to be considered. There was a young cousin on her mother’s side, Bob Drennan, who was attending the University of Pennsylvania, and Betty looked upon him as a friend. He had a Catholic roommate whose mother, Leontine Cambere, had lost a child named Yvonne several years ago and the two young men felt that perhaps Betty could live with his family when she was not at school with the Ursuline Sisters. Bob Drennan could then act as her guardian. The roommate’s family, the Camberes, met Betty and agreed to the arrangement. Betty’s father through steady savings and probably a life insurance policy had left a modest trust at a bank in New York City to take care of Betty’s needs. The trust under the care of Frank Wood would pay a stipend to the Camberes to cover Betty’s expenses. This trust would also allow Betty a small monthly allowance until she was 21 years of age. At that time all the funds would be frozen until Betty became 25 years old. After much deliberation, the judge questioned Betty and she convinced him that the arrangement with Bob as a guardian and the living arrangement with the Cambere family was her first choice. She told the judge that her father always wanted her to be raised in a Catholic environment. This arrangement would continue until Betty finished eighth grade at the Ursuline Academy and graduated with her class which consisted of six girls. She lived with the Ursuline Sisters on the Grand Concourse in New York City during the week and stayed with the Cambere family on weekends, holidays and vacations at their home at 5 Willow Place in Mount Vernon, New York.

Chapter Four

The Cambere Family

Mr. and Mrs. Cambere were originally from Armenia and had moved to Mount Vernon, N.Y. which is just north of New York City. Mr. Cambere, who was a rug dealer, had two sons, Ara and Edgar. A few years after Betty lived there, Mr. Cambere died and both sons finished college. Ara married Marion, whom he knew from their church, and they lived with his mother. During the next several years they had six children. Betty helped take care of two of their children, affectionately called Bonnie and Sandy, and became close to the family. Edgar married Margo, the daughter of one of the original founders of Trifari Jewelry, and they lived in a nearby city. Margo and Edgar had two children. Edgar was often away on business and Margo to get a break for a day would have Betty baby-sit their daughter, Michelle, for several hours. Both Margo and Edgar really appreciated what Betty did and this formed a bond which lasted a lifetime.

Ara became a successful businessman and traveled extensively but lived at Willow Place in Mount Vernon for all the years that Betty stayed with their family. Several years later he became head of the investment firm, Hayden Stone, in New York City, and lived in Connecticut. Edgar lived at Willow Place for a few of the early years when Betty was first there, but later was married and served in the Army during World War II. After the war, he was involved in international sales and then joined the Trifari firm and was a great addition to that company in sales and management. He and his family lived in a city close to Mount Vernon, and Betty remained in close contact with both of her foster brothers.

Chapter Five

High School - A New Arrangement

When Betty was ready for high school, a new arrangement had to be made. Betty was moved to White Plains, New York and stayed with the Sisters of the Divine Compassion during school sessions. They had a four-year high school, Good Counsel, and there were now forty-five students enrolled in the freshman section, although only five students boarded there and lived with the sisters. Betty bonded with another young girl in her class who also boarded there. This young girl, Barbara McDermott, later became a nun and was called Sister Mary Pauline.

While writing this book I contacted Sister Mary Pauline and in a letter she recounted a few stories about her time with Betty. A few follow:

The school year of 1938 -1939 had just begun at Good Counsel. Once again the new school year came with a new school (of friends). I cried the first week at Good Counsel. I don’t know if Betty was tired of my crying, but she came to me after the second day at G.C. and tried to make me see the good things at Good Counsel. Later I learned that Betty had issues more serious than mine.

Betty would wait for (me) if we were in different classes so that we could have lunch together. Betty was an honor student and belonged to clubs. She was in a different track than I, but our friendship grew strong that freshman year.

I remember well the evening on a walk together we found a bunny. I don’t remember his name. Neither of us knew much about bunnies, but we adopted him. Betty charmed the cook and was able to get food for Bunny, mostly lettuce.

Betty was a special person who touched the lives of our classmates and the girls in the dorms.

Sister Mary Pauline also spoke with me on the phone about Betty. During the final month of her freshman year, Betty found out that she would not be returning for her sophomore year with the sisters. Evidently, there was a financial situation and the money was not forthcoming and she was to attend public school. She said that Betty was very upset about having to leave the school, and she was not her cheery self for the final month of her stay. However, they kept in touch for about seventy years and Betty relived that one year many times