Princeton Pentimento

By Lorraine T. Gilman

Olivias life was perfect. She was a young, beautiful chemist. Her life in Princeton was a fairy tale until the night she was attacked in her garden.

Recovery was slow and painful but Olivia never expected the darkness that would overtake her life from that moment forward.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449761769

Lorraine T. Gilman

Lorraine Gilman lives in Atlanta with her husband of more than thirty years, Murray, and their two hyperactive Jack Russell terriers, Pippa and Tebow. She is also the proud mother of three grown children—Adam, Michael, and Margot. After years of being a frustrated artist, she put down her paintbrush and began to type. A Flawless Foundation is her second book.

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Copyright © 2012 Lorraine T. Gilman

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-6175-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6177-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6176-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012913692

WestBow Press rev. date: 09/26/2012

Contents

Preface

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

About the Author

To

my husband, Murray,

and Adam, Michael, and Margot.

Thank you, Mary, for holding my hand

and patiently proofreading.

Thank you to my

family and friends

for reading the first version and

encouraging me to keep writing.

To Jesus,

Who knows everything about me

and still loves me.

Don’t stop until I am consumed by You.

Pentimento: a reappearance in a painting of a design which has been painted over; the emergence of lines, images, etc. in a painting that become visible as oil paint grows transparent with age, thus revealing the artist’s earlier ideas.

From Italian, literally repentance, correction, from pentire to repent, from Latin paenitēre.

Merriam Webster Online

Preface

I HAD A DREAM ONE night about a young girl like Olivia whose life was changed in an instant through violence. The dream haunted me for months. After much prayer, I committed the story to paper.

There are so many young girls like Olivia out there, working hard, planning weddings, going to parties. God is not even on the periphery of their thoughts. They are suffering trauma, social isolation, job loss, and unfulfilling relationships. God only occurs to us when tragedy strikes and we have no other lifeline to grab on to. The good news is he is always patiently waiting with his strong arm held out to save us.

It took me many years and internal struggles before I found Jesus and he changed my life. Many people shared the gospel with me. I knew many born-again Christians. As sweet and kind as they were, I could not see what they saw or know what they knew.

I believed an invisible, supernatural world existed, but I never guessed that the secrets of this kingdom could be found in a book as outdated and common as the Bible.

My book was written for honest seekers. The characters in the book are fictional and bear no resemblance to anyone that I know. I apologize to all the friends and family who keep calling me with their guesses as to who they think each person is. Margot, I could not resist naming a character after you. I hope you like her.

Olivia’s path to Jesus was similar to my own even if our experiences and circumstances were completely different. The visions and dreams that Olivia had were mine, and the emotions and revelations she had were mine also.

When I wrote this book, I thought often of my children and my yet-to-be-born grandchildren. I don’t know how many generations I will be blessed to meet. I will never know the generations that follow me, but I want them to know that I love them. I am leaving them this bread-crumb trail to heaven, where I will be waiting.

Chapter One

OLIVIA LIFTED THE WEDDING veil slowly and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. Her heart leaped in her chest as she announced, almost in a whisper, This is the one.

I hope so, said Lauryn, peering over her iPad. My lunch hour and attention span are both dwindling.

Lauryn, scolded Margot.

No, it’s okay, Olivia said. She turned to admire the view in the mirror of the soft ivory veil cascading down her back. You two have been so patient on my epic quest. She faced her two friends seated on soft velvet chairs behind her. Honestly, what do y’all think?

I think it’s spectacular. Then again, I’ve not seen a dress I would pass on yet. All the dresses hang on you perfectly.

Lauryn’s right. Margot sighed. But this gown is absolutely breathtaking.

Breathtaking. Olivia smiled and adjusted the train. She pivoted to admire herself from another angle.

If I tell you it’s perfect, Lauryn said, laughing, will you release us to eat?

Lauryn! Margot scolded again.

Olivia stepped back from the mirror to admire the movement of the train. The voluminous folds of ivory taffeta rustled. People will be looking at my back for at least twenty minutes. How’s the view from the rear?

Margot gushed, It’s perfect. I truly mean it. She came alongside Olivia, adjusted the veil, and then ran her fingers across the luxurious fabric. Honestly, Liv, this dress looks as if it was made for you.

Olivia gazed at her reflection. She placed the veil back over her face. She’d always imagined sharing this moment with her mother. Her eyes filled with tears, and she inhaled deeply to fight them back.

Will you buy another dress for the Berlin ceremony or wear this to both? Lauryn asked.

Huh? Oh, I’m not sure. Olivia put thoughts of her mother out of her mind. She pictured the long aisle of the Gothic stone chapel at Princeton, with Lukas at the altar watching her walk toward him. The elegant dress had simple, classic lines. The design would appeal to his German sensibilities.

Margot narrowed her eyes. She scrutinized Olivia from head to toe. It needs a statement necklace. What do you envision, Liv, pearls? Hmm, clusters or a choker? Three strands with a diamond clasp? Margot ran her fingers along the neckline of the gown. Let me ponder this for a while. I need to do some research.

Olivia exhaled dramatically. It took me so long to find the perfect dress. I’ll leave all jewelry decisions to you. Besides, you have so many more resources than I do. Olivia punched the air with her fist. It’s time to get out of here. Let’s go to lunch.

Amen! Lauryn bolted out of her chair. She walked quickly toward the front door. Lauryn had been Olivia’s best friend since they’d met on the first day of orientation their freshman year at Princeton. Who would have thought of pairing an only child from New Orleans with the oldest of six children raised in Harlem?

The student life administrator who’d paired them as roommates had seen something in the girls that they themselves quickly recognized. The two women had much more in common than they had differences. Being raised an only child and being the oldest child of a large family had created the same consistent study habits. Other roommates clashed and argued over loud partying, drunken weekends, or clothes. Olivia and Lauryn were both quiet, diligent students. Their sleeping and study habits were so compatible that by the end of the first semester, the roommates meshed together seamlessly. They moved efficiently and effortlessly through their daily routines.

They had some differences in temperament. Lauryn could be stalwart and intrepid when confronted with a problem. She was big sister to five active brothers. Lauryn had had many duties as a child in the household, which established a deep sense of responsibility in her. She’d developed into a strict yet natural caretaker, like her mother.

Olivia, on the other hand, could be impulsive and emotional. She had been born late in life to grateful, doting parents and had had a pampered childhood. Olivia enjoyed being taken care of and surrendered most decisions to Lauryn’s strong leadership.

Olivia and Lauryn were stunning beauties who turned heads on campus. Despite the fact that all the students had achieved acceptance to the same highly competitive university, both women suspected that Southern blondes and African American women were not always respected by their Ivy League classmates.

The two women loved going to New York on weekends rather than attending the many college parties. Lauryn, a native New Yorker, knew how to navigate the busy streets of Manhattan. Olivia loved to escape from campus and go into the city with her for a day or a weekend. Shopping excursions with Lauryn were strategic game plans implemented at breakneck speed, crisscrossing the grid of Manhattan streets. Lauryn bounded from shop to shop in Chelsea, Soho, the Meatpacking District, and Fifth Avenue, pursuing the latest trends. Her game plan always netted the choicest bargains.

The sheer size of Manhattan overwhelmed Olivia. She delighted in the security of Lauryn’s childhood home, a modest apartment over her father’s grocery store. The prewar building had been owned by Lauryn’s family for two generations. Usually after a day of shopping, the women headed back to the Coopers’ in Harlem. Exhausted, they would collapse on the overstuffed sofas of the Coopers’ apartment. Lionel and Rachel Cooper enjoyed having the girls for the weekend.

Lionel Cooper stood straight, a posture he had acquired during his time in the Marine Corps. His eyes beamed with pride when he spoke about the six children he had raised with a firm hand. He was devoted to Rachel, his wife of thirty-five years. She mirrored his disciplined lifestyle, while tempering it with her deep Christian faith. Lionel and Rachel had raised their children to emulate their strong work ethic. Lionel had provided a comfortable lifestyle for his family, and Rachel had created a loving home. Lionel had weathered the lean years of Harlem but was now prospering in the resurgence. Half of their children had achieved postgraduate degrees. Two of Lauryn’s brothers had completed master’s degrees in business. They were expanding their father’s store into lower Manhattan and the tony new neighborhoods of Brooklyn. The generations old family store was rapidly becoming a premier grocery chain.

Lauryn went straight from Princeton to Fordham Law School. She’d spent the last two years employed at a prestigious law firm, where she’d labored eighty hours a week. She had recently left the security of this high-powered legal position to embark on her own family law practice. She was going to practice in the same neighborhood where she’d grown up. Lauryn possessed the same entrepreneurial spirit that had been the hallmark of her family for generations.

Her parents accepted Olivia as one of their own children. Rachel was a creative cook who loved to prepare an abundance of food. Meals were an active, bustling affair. Being a child of New Orleans, Olivia loved to eat. As an only child, she enjoyed participating in the vibrant dinner conversations. Evenings were always fascinating, and the discourse complemented the delicious food.

The Coopers immediately embraced Olivia when, during her senior year, she received the news her parents had been killed in a car accident. A drunk driver had crossed the median on Poydras Street late one night, killing them both. Lauryn held Olivia in her arms the night of the tragedy. Olivia convulsed in sobs for hours the first few nights after the accident. Lauryn sat in silence with Olivia, in the solitude of their dorm room, carefully helping her absorb the shock of her grief. Lauryn understood the deep pain of loss. She had attended many of the premature funerals that had been so common during her youth in Harlem. Because she knew how to comfort Olivia, their friendship deepened into a bond of love. They had shared the disappointments of failed first dates, the stress of exam periods, and the writing of their junior papers. The profound tragedy drew them closer. In grief, they became the sisters neither of them had ever had.

Lauryn, Lionel, and Rachel accompanied Olivia to New Orleans immediately after the death of her parents. They were there to support her in all the decisions surrounding the funeral, as well as the disposition of her family’s estate. Together, they went through the big white home in the Garden District. How painful it had been for Olivia to enter her childhood home for the first time. Silence had fallen over the large, gracious house. She missed the sight of her mother opening the ornate front door to welcome her home. Rachel stood by her as she passed through the deserted rooms for the first time.

The familiar sound of the grandfather clock ticked softly in the front hall. Olivia discerned evidence of her parents’ last day as she moved silently through the empty rooms. A pile of newspapers was strewn on the floor next to the large blue chair where her father had sat each night. Olivia laughed when she saw the scattered newspapers. She imagined her mother scolding him to pick up the clutter, just as she had every night. In the kitchen, Olivia found the dishes from dinner, washed and neatly placed in the small dish rack by the sink. Her mother disdained dishwashers and preferred to wash each piece of china by hand. The light from the window over the sink fell onto a beautiful red velvet cake, resting under a glass dome on the kitchen counter.

Lauryn consoled Olivia in the months that followed as she came to grips with her orphan status. Lauryn encouraged her to throw herself into the regimen of her studies and routines in order to move past the tragedy.

After final exams, Lauren made the long, solemn journey with Olivia back to Louisiana. The house on St. Charles Street had sold quickly and needed to be emptied before the impending closing. Olivia’s parents had been married for thirty years and spent most of their marriage in the sprawling New Orleans mansion. She and Lauryn worked through the humid Louisiana summer, packing boxes of clothes for charity and sorting through household items. Olivia handled every book and dish. She found it difficult to part with even the smallest item. Lauryn encouraged Olivia, galvanizing her decision-making process. Emptying the contents of the house overwhelmed Olivia. Lauren’s steely resolve and organizational skills helped complete the enormous task. Together, they selected the items Olivia would keep and those to be sold in the grand estate sale.

Lauryn wisely called Margot to join them in Louisiana. Margot always added a lightness to any situation. While Lauryn and Olivia sorted, labeled, and packed, Margot cleaned and planned the much-needed breaks. Margot had both girls laughing and giggling as they strolled every evening. She quickly found the best shaved-ice cones in the city. She insisted on ending each day eating Sno Blizs from Hansen’s and window-shopping on Magazine Street. Her outlandish tales of Manhattan society and the latest fashion trends entertained the roommates.

Margot planned outings to the French Quarter and the botanical gardens in City Park for the day of the estate sale. The crowd of strangers lined the sidewalk in front of the home early. A few anxious shoppers pushed past the gate and peered into the living room windows from the front porch. Olivia’s face appeared ashen and she considered canceling the sale. The thought of people traipsing through the house, buying pieces of her childhood, became unbearable. Margot whisked Olivia out the back door of the house to the waiting car in the driveway. Lauryn clenched the steering wheel of the getaway car. She sped the women past the burgeoning array of interlopers and professional liquidators.

Once out of the neighborhood, Margot took control of the situation, directing the women to the botanical gardens. Olivia excitedly rushed from the Japanese garden to the aquatics and perennials. She pointed out the areas that had been restored since Hurricane Katrina, marveling over the rebirth of the gardens. They strolled among the lush flowers of the City Park grounds for hours before descending on the French Quarter. The music and excitement of Bourbon Street provided the necessary diversion from the painful circumstances of the trip. Olivia became immersed in the familiar atmosphere of New Orleans. They danced in the street with tourists like it was Mardi Gras and sipped hurricane cocktails. For that one day, Olivia forgot about the strangers carrying off the remaining contents of her home.

Their last day in New Orleans, Olivia, Margot, and Lauryn enjoyed Sunday brunch at Commander’s Palace. Everyone from the maître d’ and the waitstaff to the young men in the jazz band expressed their sincere condolences to Mizz Olivia.

I have been coming here for Sunday brunch since I was a young child, Olivia explained. I believe my parents chose Lafayette Cemetery across the street as their final resting place because of its proximity to Commander’s. The young women toasted Olivia’s parents with their glasses of Sazerac before leaving the restaurant and saying a final farewell to the Olivia’s parents.

The unflagging support of the two friends helped Olivia survive the trauma of her parents’ death. They were beside her when she closed the door to her childhood. They enabled her to move forward to her new life in New Jersey.

Lauryn’s parents endeavored to secure a place in their family for Olivia while she grieved the loss of her parents. Lionel and Rachel made a point of inviting Olivia to their home for Thanksgiving and Christmas that year and the years following graduation. Olivia drew from Rachel’s quiet strength and frank advice. How endearing Lionel had become in assuming the role of her protector. He wept when Olivia asked him to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day.

Olivia slipped out of the wedding gown and looked up at Lauryn, still tapping away on her iPad. Has Lionel been fitted for his tuxedo yet?

Lauryn glanced up and laughed, Oh, yes. But if Rachel does not lay off his favorite beef tenderloin, he’ll be walking down the aisle in a sweat suit!

As long as it matches the bridesmaids’ dresses, quipped Margot.

By the way, have you chosen bridesmaids’ dresses? asked Olivia.

I’ve narrowed it down to a few designers. I may go with a fresh designer I found in the Meatpacking District, Margot bubbled excitedly.

Nothing pretentious, pleaded Olivia. You know I have simple taste.

Margot opened her eyes wide and took a deep breath. You know me, Liv. I will find something marvelous. We will not be coming down the aisle in matching J. Crew dresses.

Lauryn tilted her head and squinted her eyes at Margot. And that would be a problem because … ?

Margot exhaled and sighed. We are breaking away from the unofficial Princeton uniform. Ladies, this is what I do for a living. Trust me. The dresses will be perfect.

Olivia finished up the paperwork regarding the wedding gown and scheduled a fitting for the last week of August. The three women left the salon and stepped into the sunshine of Manhattan. The city looked vibrant on this glorious spring day. New Yorkers had shed their black winter clothes, and the bright colors of the season appeared on the gritty streets.

Lauryn looked down at her watch. Girls, you know I love you both, but if I don’t finish the briefs on my desk by Friday, I won’t be joining you for Reunions. I’m out of time and have to beg off lunch. Lauryn kissed Olivia on the cheek. Liv, I am so happy for you. The dress is gorgeous, and I’m glad I was here when you found it.

Olivia leaned over and hugged her maid of honor. Go back to work. I understand. I’ll see you this weekend. Call me later.

Lauryn hugged Margot and turned to face the flow of traffic. She raised her hand to flag a taxi. Her trim-fitting gray suit moved with her as she stretched her arm towards the oncoming traffic. Her skirt just brushed the top of her knees modestly. A moment later, she hopped into a cab and sped back to work.

I guess we’re not locked into Chelsea anymore, Olivia remarked, watching Lauryn’s cab disappear into the sea of traffic. So, where should we go for lunch?

Margot smiled, On a day as beautiful as this? The Boathouse. Mojitos by the water!

They hailed another cab and headed to Central Park for lunch, where Margot and Olivia spent the rest of the day by the lake, sipping iced tea and perusing fabric swatches. Margot had assembled at least five combinations of napkins and tablecloths for Olivia’s wedding.

Margot had grown up in Manhattan and was third-generation Princeton. Her grandfather and father had gone to Princeton before her. She was tiny and petite with long brown hair and a unique fashion sense. She had found Lauryn and Olivia late into sophomore year, and the three girls clicked instantly. Lauryn’s and Olivia’s hyper sense of responsibility and studious natures were the perfect complements to Margot’s bohemian and carefree personality. Margot always arrived when studying had become exhausting and stole the girls away for pizza on Nassau Street or beer at the eating clubs. She managed to appear at the right moment on a Sunday afternoon with delicious pastries she bought from some new it bakery in Manhattan. Margot persuaded Lauryn and Olivia to forsake the usual spring break in Florida for a week in the south of France. She’d negotiated some incredible travel deal, and the girls headed for Cannes instead of Fort Lauderdale for a third of the cost.

Margot again came to the rescue, tapping into her Manhattan connections to help Olivia with her wedding, hunting down tablecloths, napkins, and bridesmaids’ dresses. Margot relished the assignment. She utilized her Princeton art degree by starting a small Manhattan company specializing in set design and props styling. In any recent upscale catalog, there was a good chance Margot had arranged the furniture and accessories on the pages to show off their best assets. A small clientele was devoted to Margot and relied on her exquisite taste for weddings, private events, and personal image consulting. This small, elite division of her business grew quite naturally. Whenever Margot showed up for a business meeting, inevitably the conversation reverted to her clothes. Often, after Margot finished her presentations, clients approached her with confidential requests for personal shopping consultations and wardrobe makeovers.

Lauryn and Margot pooled their talents again to help Olivia, this time for a joyous affair. These two friends truly enriched Olivia’s life: Lauryn, her stalwart soldier, and Margot, who kept them all from taking life too seriously.

The light faded over the glistening water as the afternoon wore on. The boaters on the lake rowed to shore, and the waiters cleared the tables around the women. Manhattan geared up for the mass exodus that occurred each workday at rush hour.

I need to leave now if I will ever make it home before dark, said Olivia, stretching. I can’t thank you enough, Margot. I promise I’ll make it up to you Reunions weekend. Coffee and beignets in bed!

You know I’m happy to do it for you, Liv. Margot leaned in and the two women hugged. They walked out of the park together and hailed separate cabs: Margot was heading to the upper East Side, and Olivia towards Penn Station to catch a train back to Princeton.

Olivia had stayed in Princeton after graduation. She could not live in New Orleans after the death of her parents. She had grown fond of the town of Princeton. In some ways it reminded her of the Garden District of New Orleans where she had grown up. Nassau Street had much of the same charm she’d cherished on Magazine Street back home. Everything she needed in Princeton was within walking distance, and the university offered a wide variety of cultural events. If she needed more stimulation, she hopped on a train and could be in Manhattan, Philadelphia, or even DC within hours. After serious consideration, she had decided to put down roots in this charming township.

The funds from the sale of the home in New Orleans and her parents’ life insurance policies provided enough money to purchase a small Victorian cottage on University Place, close