Besolved

By Douglas R. Parker

Do you remember reading about Alice in Wonderland and the Ancient Mariner? Ever thought about what would happen if they met?
Yes? Well, read on.
No? Read on anyway.
Before Alice meets the Mariner she falls in love with Sam Bridge and they decide to get married in Tasmania. Their adventure from new Zealand ends in Mexico. The book’s humour and wide range of references should appeal to people of all ages.
In addition to the fun of the story, the reader’s challenge is to find pop stars, poets, novelists and other celebrities as you read through. Good luck!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley
• Release date: Feb 9, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370544943

Book preview

About the Author

Douglas was a Senior Electrical Engineer who worked on many large engineering projects during his career and was an associate to a consultant in the building services industry.

When he left school he was an apprentice working in an office, drawing with ink on tracing paper. The issue of drawings has changed drastically, and most construction drawings are now computer generated.

Douglas is now retired from work and writes books for fun.

He hopes you will enjoy reading this novel.

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Dedications

This work is dedicated to my family and friends.

Many thanks, to all the authors, poets, publishers and libraries who have given pleasure to all the populations of people throughout the ages.

Many thanks, to my daughter, for her authentic Chinese banquet.

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Besolved

Published by Austin Macauley at Smashwords

Copyright 2018, Douglas R Parker

The right of Douglas R Parker to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the

Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this publication may be made without written permission. No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted save with the written permission of the publisher, or in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright Act 1956 (as amended). Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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A CIP catalogue record for this title is

Available from the British Library.

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www.austinmacauley.com

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Besolved, 2018

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.

ISBN 978-1-78823-036-0 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-78823-037-7 (E-Book)

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First Published in 2018

Austin Macauley Publishers.LTD/

CGC-33-01, 25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf, London E14 5LQ

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Acknowledgments

Inspired Acknowledgements

Special thanks to the works by others, in no particular order:

Samuel Taylor Coleridge for The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

To Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) for his inspiration of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Alice through the Looking Glass. Many characters are to be found here.

Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton CVO: South! The Story of Shackleton’s Expedition 1914-1917. A true story and account of life at the Antarctic.

Special thanks go to Tommy Copper who has always made me laugh.

Special thanks go to Jasper Fforde (Oxford: Thursday Next), and to Malcolm Pryce (Wales – Aberystwyth: Louie Knight, Calamity), whose works have truly inspired me.

Please note that the mysteries are extremely difficult and you have only a little chance of getting them. They are quite obscure. It is like Sam playing chess with Alice – you do not really stand a chance at all!

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Foreword

This book is a mixture of references to other subjects if you can find them, but I would advise you to read it and laugh if you find it at all funny, and then find the links afterwards. It is also full of nonsense and some interesting facts, but mostly gibberish and plays on words. It is not about mathematics, or a crime novel.

Although it is a fantasy I have tried not to write ‘and in one bound Jack was free’ mainly because Jack is not in this book, he is in a box somewhere.

Please do not take everything literally, do not believe everything you read in books, especially mine. Beware of the dates and history, what year was Victoria on the throne?

You can treat this book as glamping – it is a bit intense and a bit out there.

Any resemblance to any person or persons is only by chance, even you, Alice.

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Contents

Introduction

A Small Port

Chapter 1. Port Authority

Chapter 2. Sam Ridge

Chapter 3. Alice

Chapter 4. The Spring Festival

Chapter 5. One Afternoon

Chapter 6. The Coal Mine is mine

Chapter 7. The Engagement

Chapter 8. Last Night of the Noodles.

A Stout Resistance

Chapter 9. High Tide Departure

Chapter 10. The Storm

Chapter 11. Fancy a Game?

Chapter 12. The Ice Pack

Chapter 13. Stay Calm

Chapter 14. Rescued

A Rum Do

Chapter 15. The Factory

Chapter 16. The Wedding Arrangements

Chapter 17. The Day

Chapter 18. A Midday Picnic

Chapter 19. Armies on the Ropes

Chapter 20. At Last

Appendix 1. The First Chess Game

Appendix 2. The Third Chess Game

Appendix 3. Results

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Introduction

Genny, can we have another story please?

Oh, please, please.

Right, OK, let me think... Yes I think you will like this one. It is a story about old sailors.

We start off in the year 1890, and at that time the ships were made out of wood, they did not have engines but they were driven by sails.

Just like the Cutty Shark.

That’s almost right, only the Cutty Sark was a tea clipper. This ship is more like the Golden Hind. Settle down now, this story is quite long, so pay attention, it is a quiz as well as a story and there are plenty of clues to find.

Here is a list of the categories about the subjects:

A. Authors

P. Poets

C. Characters

G. Singers and groups

P. Places

L. Places in London

P. People

M. Miscellaneous

B. Bonus

This list does not include any of the characters I have imagined.

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A Small Port

Chapter 1

Port Authority

Port Authority was a small busy port with lots of the usual trade of fish, cotton, spices and the local coal, mined using the open coalface mining technique from the nearby ridge.

The port is located in the remote southern part of New Zealand. Further south than Dunedin, it is one of the last safe harbours before the ships venture out south into the Southern Ocean or the Tasmanian Sea.

To the north over the flat Southfields you will find the southern edge of the mountain range of the Southern Alps which form the backbone of South Island. Directly to the south of the port you will find the relatively small island of Stewart.

Although the port was lively it had calm periods, normally late afternoon when most sales have been completed, the goods transferred, or dockets issued for the goods to be collected the next morning from the warehouse goods-out dock.

The wharf was about 250 yards long, that is about 228 metres, so there could be the latest eight large sailing ships with three masts moored up at any one time. There were trading warehouses, a few shops and pubs, and in the centre was the telegraph office. The buildings were mainly built from wood, mostly shiplap covered in pitch to preserve them, none too pretty and almost all showed their age because of their weather-beaten appearance.

On one side of the telegraph office was the Port Authority office which dealt with the comings and goings of the ships and boats in the harbour. The port fees were very modest, you paid fees on the length of your craft and the time you spent in port. The telegraph had the new invention of Morse code to relay messages.

On the other side of the office was the gin palace. This was the brightest shop in town, it was painted pink and was run by Mr Floyd who was also a very good chef and worked in the restaurants of Alice or Mr Wai when they had staff problems or were extra busy.

The gin palace sold a mixture of various spirits. Here you could buy a large variety of gin, a range of whiskies, port, sherries and a selection of red, white and pink wines. They made their own green wine from sugar cane and nettles which was poplar with all the townsfolk. The bottles were arranged in racks with various price tags depending on the quality of the product.

You could also buy rhon, the shop’s special. It was a sort of rum distilled locally from rhubarb, herbs, onions and nettles; it had a unique flavour that tasted something between rum and whisky; it even looked the colour you would expect if you mixed rum and whisky, having a golden dark ruby red appearance.

Next to this shop was the bakers, run by Jack, Bruce and Eric, the three of them were quite unique because they all had ginger hair and beards. With their white coats on the only way you tell them apart was when they talked to you.

Each day they would make fresh bread baked in the early hours of the morning, the aroma would always make your mouth water, and so the queues to buy bread started outside the shop at least ten to fifteen minutes before opening time.

The town’s women would stand outside and natter about the day to come, their husbands, about the work to finish that day, only to be at the shop the next morning to buy more bread and natter about the day’s work. The shop sold an assortment of homemade pies as well.

Inside the shop there were wooden rows filled with a range of different types of bread, wholemeal loaves, loaves with poppy seeds on top, long ones, round ones and some with fruit mixed in. Displayed on the front counter were the cream buns, scones and biscuits, all freshly baked, they would be on show, once you clapped your eyes on the cakes you just had to have one.

The townsfolk said that you pronounce the scones like stones but when they were finished they were s’gones.

The pies on this part of the island were unique to this area, there were stuffed sausages with beetroot, meat pies within meat pies, onion pies with a carrot in the middle, pastry with pineapples and custard, pastry with rhubarb and custard and ones with additional pastry in the middle.

The most famous one was the ham with meat inside. The meat came from the local male deer (bucks), which roamed the hillside on the other side of the ridge. The bakers was named after this special pie.

There was a small bridge over a brook which ran underneath the wharf, a small tributary from the main river that ran out to sea further to the left. In this area the river was tidal and further inland it was very muddy at low tide. The next shop was a tailors and then a tinkers.

The tailors had different departments of clothing depending upon what you needed. Alas, the hat department had been shut for a while due to the owner going mad, he wanted to have a tea party all day long.

At the far end of the wharf on the left, as you looked from the centre facing the sea, there was an old antiques shop, run but a pair of Italian twins called Curio and Curio. The shop was crammed full of old and dusty antiques which were obtained from houses and also from the ships which docked at the port.

The busiest place on the wharf was the telegraph office, which was always crowded when a new ship arrived. This was because everybody wanted to send a message home to somewhere and to someone and this was the quickest way in those days.

Around this office there was a small shelf supplied with short little pencils and paper to write your message on. On the walls posters displayed the cost showing how much it would cost for a one-, two-, three-, four- or five-letter word and also the cost for larger letters. This was so you could work out the words worth of your message at a glance before you paid.

The public house was called the Olde Port Authority Arms, you could find it easily by the hanging picture outside showing an arm with a closed fist holding a scroll. The scroll depicted the law from which all the sailors were governed in this sea area.

During the day it was a good pub serving food and drink to the passing crowds. It had an amenable atmosphere and was friendly to all who came to visit. There were tables with chairs in the centre of the room laid out with knives and forks for the lunchtime trade, a long wooden bar ran down one end and behind this you would find the main barman, Melvyn.

Around the perimeter were tables and benches, four of these were enclosed in high framed partitions, you could get ten people seating in each compartment quite easily.

On the walls the room was decorated by several black–and-white illustrations by the artist Titus. He had drawn a mountain range with snowy pikes and peaks, a dark gloomy and gormy-ghastly castle that you wanted to steer clear of, next to that there was a picture of a pair of twins that you would recognise – for each person who looked closely recognised the twins they knew, and at the far end of the room was a picture of a young girl holding a flower.

In the evenings it would be a different story to write about, the tables and chairs were stacked to one side to give more room for the expected crowds. After nine when it got dark, the place would be full of old drunks and newly arrived sailors, whose saltwater thirst would not be satisfied in one night.

The soldiers and sailors in the evenings made for an electric meeting between the two, and quite often led to a brawl, though the aftermath was usually cleared up before daylight, which kept the local constabulary happy and quiet. The police force consisted of only one man, Percy: in our story he was now in his late fifties, he was a small man, he had a limp and felt a bit frail going up against fit young drunkard sailors. There had never been an arrest in the port, mainly because Percy would be in bed by ten o’clock with a cup of hot cocoa.

Sometimes there would be a knock on the door late at night with people shouting for his help, but he would just turn over, pulled the bedclothes up tight and think Sod that for a game of soldiers. In the morning he would throw off his bedclothes and spend a few hours