Want to Love but Want to Kill

By Phantom Child

They show him a rare talent, it changes him. A fire causes him to use that very talent against them. Can he overcome his own mind before it is too late?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jan 21, 2011
• ISBN: 9781426947001

Phantom Child

I have been writing stories for many years whether they are long or short, only a few have ended up on paper. Ideas and thoughts sometimes just come to me at random, and this is my first attempt to share my thoughts with others. I am the eldest of two and have a slight disadvantage in life. What I cannot physically do in real life, I can do in my writings. I live with my best friend Mokka who reminds me from time to time that I do need to eat. Enjoy a little piece of my world.

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© Copyright 2010 Phantom Child.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America.

isbn: 978-1-4269-4699-8 (sc)

isbn: 978-1-4269-4700-1 (e)

Trafford rev. 11/17/2010

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North America & international

toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

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For Biancha Crawford

He wants to love her, but one thing that he wants to do the most is to kill her. After the accident, he lost his secret life and will do anything and everything to get it back; even if means his life.

He comes from a good, religious family and his girl did as well. He also has dreams of being a writer, writing stuff related to religion. He longs to have other influences, but they are not allowed in the house hold and all of his friends are religious.

He has a choice for high school: go to the private church school or the public school. He chooses a path most parents’ fear. He chooses public.

He will enter with no friends and it is a new environment. That combination is a potential hazard, to the religious newcomers.

Not only is he being messed with at school, but he has been told that he is a disappointment to his parents and the girl of his dreams.

He is getting made fun of because of his religious writings; he runs to hide and writes. After hiding for the first month of school, he is sitting in his room at his writing desk staring at a fresh sheet of paper. His dad knocks and enters.

Tucker, son, we wish to see you in the living room for movie night?

He works up a lie to stay in his room, Sorry, dad, but I have an essay to write.

His dad walks to his desk and lays a hand on Tuckers’ shoulder. Tucker looks up at his dad, who is in his evening clothing, his short hair in a mess.

Son, you are much different ever since you have started public school.

Dad, its high school,

Do you have any friends?

Tucker looks back at his fresh sheet of paper.

You have taken a huge risk, so what if I and your mom aren’t happy with your choice but we must trust you in your decision. I will leave you to your work.

The door of his room shuts leaving him to stare at his paper in writers block for is new kind of writing.

There again comes a knock at his bedroom door.

Come in. he says turning to the door.

The door opens to reveal a girl with long golden hair and big blue eyes.

Lucy. the girl of his dreams is in his room.

Why, why Tucker. she says going to him.

He stands up to share the embrace. Once they pull apart, Lucy looks at him and he knows that she is waiting for his answer.

He goes to sit back at his desk; I want to see what the world has to offer. he turns to face her.

She gives a disappointing look.

Not what you wanted to hear?

I know what happens to people like you and I when we enter public school.

How would you know? He says in a dark voice.

My older brother, he lost his faith and died at the age of twenty of a drug overdose.

I chose it because of my writing; I want verity in my life.

Then I can’t follow you.

I won’t lose my faith. Please trust me I won’t. he opens his arms wide for a hug.

Lucy is thanking against it, but gives in.

You are my love and I won’t do anything to jeopardize what we have. Tucker says truthfully.

Something inside Tucker, is saying you shouldn’t have said that.

Lucy pulls away, I should go,

Just like that she is gone and Tucker returns to his desk trying to shake out all religious ideas, but that is all that comes because that is all he knows. He sits back and shuts his eyes; he is going to have to ask for a type of book he is looking for. He opens his eyes and looks at the time on his alarm clock, 7:30.

Without going out and saying goodnight to his parents he gets into his night clothes, says his prayers and turns out the lights.

At school the next day, Tucker is about to lay his hands on books that will get him kicked out of his house in no time flat.

Can I help you find a book? the librarian asks.

I want a book that gives you the creeps went you read it.

Well, you might want to check out our small Stephen King selection, why.

Writer, I need help.

May I suggest a movie?

Yes, please.

If you wish to get your imagination up and running you might want to watch Finding Neverland directed by Marc Forster.

Really, cool, thanks.

He walks to the fiction selection and goes to the K’s. He finds King and there is only one book of Stephen King. The title of the book is Four Past Midnight. It is a novella. Tucker takes it and walks to the desk to check it out.

Is this it? She asks.

Tucker stares at the cover showing a picture of Johnny Depp and shows the name of the story which is a movie, The Secret Window.

He has now become a rebel. Tucker is suddenly hit on the shoulder; he turns to see one of the guys who have been messing with him.

Well, what do we have here the religious boy is getting is hands dirty.

Yah, so what,

My name is Fred Ruie. You are strong you are still here.

Thank you, my name is Tucker Philips.

They shake hands and Fred leaves. Tucker turns and says, This is it, thank you.

Tucker goes to class with his new book in hand.

At lunch Tucker is invited to eat with Fred and his friends. Fred’s friends are all punks. Tucker is introduced to all of them: Julie, Matt, Kelley and Mattie.

This is Tucker Philips; he is coming in to our group.

Tucker looks at him, Can I have some time to consider the offer.

Fred looks at him, No, man you take it now or it will be gone.

Ok,

Time for initiation,

Tucker eyes widen as he looks up at Fred and the rest of the group stands. The group leads Tucker out to the field. Tucker hugs the book and is scared. He has heard stories of initiation; they mostly consist of beatings to see how strong the newcomers are. Then he thought, well they are at school. So it couldn’t be bad. Could it?

Are you ready? Fred asks.

I guess.

Don’t worry man, we all about having an imagination.

Tucker smiles, You all like to play, even in high school.

High school or in public we have fun.

Do you guys get made fun of?

Kids are so consumed in their own lives that they don’t see the art of acting and having fun.

Okay, what is the task?

We are big fans of the childhood game of Cowboys and Indians.

Cool, um… I have never played it.

It’s okay, this is all improv. We have already have earned our Indian names, Matt is Chittaranjan which means joy to inner mind, Kelley is Anuva which means knowledge, Julie is Nipun which means expert, Mattie is Pranidhi which mean spy and I am Nishant meaning dawn. Nipun is going to lay down the scene.

We are playing cowboys and you are the only Indian. You and I are meeting in secret to see each other, but I am follow and we share our last time together.

Tucker puts his book down and when he looks up. He is no longer in the school yard; he is standing at the shade of a big oak tree. He is looking down a dirt road, the only road that runs through the center of town. Coming from behind