The Power of Choice: Living the Life You Always Wanted and Absolutely Deserve

By Dr. Berge Minasian

Life is full of choices, and those choices impact the life you live. In The Power of Choice, author Berge Minasian provides strategies for taking charge of your destiny to improve your life.

Filled with anecdotes and real-life stories, The Power of Choice shows you how to make a goal and take firm action toward that goal by managing your behavior. This self-improvement guide helps you come to terms with the following basic tenets:

Whatever you believe with conviction becomes your reality.
Your mind controls your body.
Your mind has the power to comply with your expectations.
Happiness is a function of how you interpret events in your life.
Whatever you say to yourself over and over is what you become.
You become just like the people you surround yourself with.

Minasian also helps you understand the role faith plays in your life, the importance of emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills, methods to control the ego that controls you, and ways to mentally create the blissful state of oneness with your higher power

The Power of Choice teaches you how to reframe the events in your life and move from being a victim to being the architect of your own well-being.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Dec 15, 2010
• ISBN: 9781426948411

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© Copyright 2011 Dr. Berge Minasian.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America.

isbn: 978-1-4269-4497-0 (sc)

isbn: 978-1-4269-4840-4 (hc)

isbn: 978-1-4269-4841-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010914491

Trafford rev. 12/06/2010

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North America & international

toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

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Dedication

This book is lovingly dedicated to my wife Terry. Without her positive encouragement and support, I might never have taken the first step to write it. The book mirrors our life; our shared goals, our dreams and our philosophy for living a great life.

Acknowledgements

To the thousands of parents, and students I have worked with, first as a teacher and later as a school principal, I want to offer my sincerest gratitude for allowing me to be a part of their life. In many ways, I know I learned so much more from them than they could possibly have learned from me.

I am especially grateful to Dr. A.K. Krasner who was instrumental in shaping my career as a clinical hypnotherapist. His support and encouragement during my training for the Doctor of Clinical Hypnotherapy degree was immeasurable. Dr. Krasner’s unique approach to hypnotherapy is highly regarded in the hypnotherapy field.

I have a special place in my heart for the headquarters staff of Bergensons Property Services where I worked as staff development coordinator for eight years. It was during these years that I learned so much about the value of coaching and mentoring. And while we were honing our skills in those venues, we also learned about the importance of nurturing a positive and optimistic collective conscious which made coming to work each day a real pleasure.

Of course I could never have lived such a fulfilling life without the values imparted by my immigrant parents who sacrificed so much during the Ottoman Turk genocide against Armenians in Turkey beginning on April 24, 1915. As genocide survivors in a new country, they adapted well and eventually sent their two boys off to college and beyond. I wish they could be here to enjoy this book with us.

I am especially grateful to my wife Terry who for 55 years and counting, has partnered with me in all my endeavors. Her influence is immeasurable. Whenever I began to waiver in my resolve to finish this book, she always found a way to encourage me to continue.

To our adult children and their spouses I am especially thankful for the joy that they brought into our life. To our grandchildren, who have given us so much to be proud of, and who have brought such a special meaning to the second half of our lives, I say, God bless and keep you.

Last but not least, I am especially indebted to Dr. Barbara McCarley for being my technical support staff. Her wizardry on and around the computer and her way with words made this experience quite manageable and enjoyable.

Berge Minasian

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Looking For And

Seeing Beauty In Your Life

You will notice that each chapter of our book begins with a beautiful black and white photograph. They were taken by Tara Manoogian, our 14-year-old granddaughter. Originally, we had planned on using her color photographs but once we got into the book development stage, we found out that color interior was not possible in the book size we had chosen. So we did the next best thing which simply was to switch from color to black and white.

Our original intent with the color photographs was to bring a smile to your face and a sense of peaceful serenity to your heart. Tara and I sincerely hope that we will still achieve that outcome once you find the beauty and charm expressed in the black and white photographs she chose for you.

These photographs may or may not speak directly to the content of the chapters they introduce. They are simply offered as random examples of the beauty which surrounds us all. We have included photographs from a variety of venues. I’m sure that you will enjoy them as you flip through the pages of this book for the first time.

Our hope is that if you have been somewhat careless about noticing the beauty in your life, these photos will rekindle your enthusiasm. Who knows, after seeing these beautiful pictures, you might even become a happier person! Our wish is that while you are reading this book and enjoying the photographs, you will remind yourself of the unlimited beauty which surrounds you no matter where you might be in your personal journey through life.

My experience has been that far too many of us have become caught up in the challenges of just living from day to day. Some have even become trapped in the proverbial rat race and it is slowly killing us. We want you to think consciously about slowing down to smell the roses. Life truly is beautiful! So set some goals, believe in you, and then just make good choices. You will absolutely create the life you want and deserve; if you believe, you surely will achieve.

Tara captured these unique scenes while on family vacations. She has learned from a very early age that life is indeed beautiful; but only if you take the time to notice.

Thank you for the lesson, Tara!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Looking For And

Seeing Beauty In Your Life

Introduction

Chapter One

If You Can Believe It You Will See It

Whatever you absolutely believe with conviction becomes your reality.

Chapter Two

The Mind Body Connection

You become whatever you spend your time thinking about

Chapter Three

The Placebo/Nocebo Effect

I Shall Please

Chapter Four

Faith, Hope, Spirituality

Making Miracles

Chapter Five

Conquering Stress: The Silent Killer

Happiness and positive attitude—your anecdotes

Chapter Six

Emotional Intelligence And

Interpersonal Skills

The keys to success

Chapter Seven

Fear, Greed, And The Desire For Power

The Playground of Your Ego

Chapter Eight

Anger, Happiness, And Laughter

Your Choices

Chapter Nine

Finding Meaning In The Workplace

There are no unimportant jobs, just people who feel their jobs are unimportant

Chapter Ten

Liking Yourself, Self-Esteem, And Positive Affirmations

Just dare to become all you can be

Chapter Eleven

Creative Imagery

The body doesn’t know the difference between a real experience and

one which is mentally experienced with emotion and belief

Chapter Twelve

Meditation And The Relaxation Response

Mentally creating the blissful state of oneness with your higher power

Chapter Thirteen

Collective Consciousness

You become like the people you associate with

Chapter Fourteen

Diet And Physical Exercise

Supersize your commitment to wellness

Afterword

And so my friends, it’s all up to you

Bibliography

Introduction

Some years ago, I read a wonderful book written in 1959 by Dr. Viktor Frankl, M.D, called Man’s Search for Meaning. This little book, which he dictated in just 9 days, had a dramatic influence on me and on the people helping professions in general. Over 12 million copies have been sold world wide and it can still be found on book store shelves even today. Man’s Search for Meaning has been cited as one of the ten most important books written in the twentieth century.

The book was inspired by Dr. Frankl’s experiences as a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps during World War II. His message in this little but powerful book is Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing; the last of his human freedoms, that is, to choose his own attitude regarding his particular circumstances and to choose his own way.

I wanted to share this quote as it is so succinctly expresses the message of my book; that is, we all have choices about designing and living the life we always wanted and absolutely deserve. In the end, life is defined by what we choose to think about whatever we are experiencing.

It is said that some people light up the room when they enter and then there are those who bring a dark cloud with them. Why is this? Could it be that some of us are born to be happy while others of us were born to be gloomy and unhappy? Are some of us just destined to be unfulfilled victims of life in general? Or could it be that we are all quite simply the product of our own thoughts and choices. Some of us seem to have it all; a full and happy life, while others just can’t seem to get out of the rut they are in.

It’s universally agreed that most people will succeed in any endeavor they embark on by taking the first step toward the direction they intend to go. I too believe that this is generally true, but I also happen to think that it is only partially true. In my opinion, there needs to be an additional caveat. And that caveat goes something like this; if you don’t know precisely where you are headed, you really can’t take much of an informed first step.

Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher, was credited with theorizing that the unexamined life is not worth living. This is so true! In fact, I found this to be one of the single most frequent issues my clients presented when I was a practicing clinical hypnotherapist. As it turns out, most of my clients didn’t even realize what they didn’t know, about why they were feeling less than fulfilled. But in the end, unless there was something pathologically wrong with them, we were usually able to quickly lead them out of the unhappiness they were experiencing.

Let me assure you of one thing; there is no condition so hopeless that a bit of focused effort cannot fix it. This is even true for life threatening conditions. More often than not, people can change how they are feeling about something by making a few minor adjustments in the way they are viewing their circumstances.

I taught my clients that they could have just about anything they needed or desired, provided they would learn to recruit their all powerful subconscious mind to help them. What most of them were missing was specificity. They were simply too scattered and too confused about what they needed. Once we were able to direct their energies toward specific outcomes, the rest was quite easy. All that was required was that they create an unshakable belief about their ability to achieve their desired outcomes.

SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES

These unhappy people were just so consumed by their day-to-day challenges that they had forgotten, that is, if they ever did know, what it was that they were lacking. All they really knew was that they weren’t happy with how life was unfolding. And more often than not, they felt their unhappiness was caused by something or someone else in their life. Consequently, most were just languishing instead of thriving and they were always in the victim mode. It was quite disconcerting to see so many people hurting and needlessly living a less than joyful and fulfilling life. Unfortunately they were all living their own self-fulfilling prophecies.

This concept of the self fulfilling prophesies must be understood before we can move forward in reorganizing our life from where we are today to where we deserve to be. It never ceases to amaze me that so many life defining guidelines (paradigms) such as this one were never taught to us in school or by our parents for that matter. If I don’t accomplish anything else with this book, I absolutely want to make sure that you understand what it means.

Simply stated, self-fulfilling prophesies are the outcomes we generate in our lives through our attitudes, beliefs, expectations and decisions. What this means is that in large measure we are all creating the life we are living via the life we are expecting to live. This is such a major A-Ha! moment that the sooner we understand the essence of it, the sooner our past and present life will totally make sense to us.

That we are all products of our own thinking can no longer be denied. We absolutely are the product of our thoughts be they positive or self-defeating. But then again, for some reason, when we don’t like the results we are getting, we get caught up in making excuses for why we are living the life we are living. We invoke the if only syndrome, in other words, if only my husband ….., or if only my boss …. or if only we lived in a better …., and so on. Or we often invoke the I can’t help it, it’s in my genes excuse.

THEY’RE YOUR THOUGHTS AND

IT’S YOUR LIFE

The new 21st century biologists, psychologists and practitioners of psycho-neuro-immunology (PNI) have been very interested in this phenomenon. They have compiled overwhelming scientific evidence proving that indeed, the quality of our life is in direct correlation to the quality of our thoughts, our choices and our decisions. The research is so compelling that even the most traditional psychologists and medical doctors are now more open to the effect of ones thoughts on the mind/body.

One of the leaders in this pioneering group is Dr. Gerald Jampolski, M.D. In 1993, he wrote his ground breaking book called Change Your Mind, Change Your Life. Since then, literally dozens of books have been written with the same theme, namely, that our thoughts are the architect of our life. But until now, adoption of this paradigm by the lay community has been painfully slow. Our hope is that my book will make it more universally accepted.

It just seems to me that most of the books in this genre are quite academic in nature and don’t focus very much on changing one’s behavior. They are almost universally focused on defining how we got to where we are in our present state. But very little if anything is ever included about how you could get your life in order by making better choices.

I sincerely hope that my book is the one that will get people focused on taking personal responsibility for how their life is unfolding. Improving your life is all about having a desire or goal and then following up with a strong commitment to take the required actions. Take your time! You didn’t to get where you presently are overnight. Your current lifestyle is the product of all the choices you have consciously and unconsciously made up to this point in your life. And unless you change something, you will keep getting what you have always been getting.

Most of us have discovered that strengthening our mental and physical wellbeing while also establishing and maintaining lasting relationships can be challenging at best. Frankly, it’s no small wonder that so many of us do as well as we do. But just know that if you are committed to improving the quality of your life, you can indeed get what you are seeking. However, you should also be aware that there will be challenges. So stay true to yourself, and just do it! You deserve to live your dreams. Up til now, we all did the best we could with what we had to work with.

The best place to begin your self improvement journey is to make a conscious decision to look for good in the people you interact with regularly. That’s right, this simple change in your attitude can have a profound effect on the quality of your life. And the good news is that it’s so easy to do. You get there when you understand that it’s not about finding good people but rather it’s about being that good person. Once you understand that and become that which you are seeking in others, the good people will just simply begin to manifest in your life.

The really good news about all this is that regardless of how your life has played out to this point in time, just know that your past does not necessarily predict your future. But having said that, let me hasten to say that if you keep doing whatever you have been doing, you will probably keep getting the same results you have always been getting. And that’s extremely important if you aren’t happy with the results you are presently generating. Albert Einstein taught us that insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting to get different results.

BELIEVE IN YOUR UNLIMITED POWER

This book was written for those who have tried so valiantly to gain control of their happiness and health but for one reason or another still find themselves living a life of lack. My goal is to move you from consciously or unconsciously believing that you are limited, to consciously believing in your unlimited power. For sure it takes more than simply reading a book to move from languishing to living a fulfilled life. But, this can be the first step in the right direction.

Frankly, it’s amazing that so many of us do as well as we do. But the good news is that moving from a state of victim hood to an empowering state need not be so elusive. I can promise you that it is within your reach. But, just don’t expect this to be a quick and easy fix. You will no doubt have your ups and downs, so just stay true to yourself, and practice some of the strategies presented in this book.

You deserve to succeed! And I want to be your surrogate life coach. This can very well be the turning point in your life. We weren’t issued owners manuals when we were born and our parents didn’t have one either. Up until now, we have all done the best we could with what we had to work with. All that remains now is for us to move forward with optimism and the conviction that together we can create the life you always wanted and absolutely deserve.

I think it is very predictable that of all the people who are living a less than fulfilling life, 80% of them will probably continue to live that way. Then there will be the other 20% who are like you. The fact that you are reading this book puts you in the top 20% group and that’s the group that usually gets things done. I would say that your potential for achieving the outcomes you are seeking is excellent.

I’ve dedicated most of my adult life to studying and teaching the strategies presented in this book. Most of what we are presenting is not new. These concepts and principles have been around since before the Bible was written. But what I have endeavored to do is present the information in a format that should be quite comfortable for most readers. If you are like me, you no doubt have enthusiastically purchased books in the past only to find them so loaded with technical and academic language that they were difficult to read beyond the first chapter. I promise you, this one is different.

IF I CAN WALK ON FIRE, YOU CAN…

Of course, taking responsibility for how your life is unfolding is a huge commitment and getting started can seem overwhelming. But just pause, take a deep breath or two and remember the old adage; a journey of a thousand miles begins with taking the first step. Taking the first step is something I can relate to quite dramatically. I vividly remember taking a Fire Walking seminar during my studies for the Doctorate Degree in Clinical Hypnotherapy.

The fire walk is an exercise in trust and faith. It requires that you walk barefooted across a ten foot long white hot bed of charcoal. The goal is to exit the fire pit at the other end without being seriously burned.

The seminar took place over two days. Our group was intensely coached to believe that we could accomplish anything we set our minds to. Within reason of course! The final exam, a walk on fire, was to be conducted at the end of the second day. Apart from the normal anxiety about performing such a feat, I was concerned about my physical ability to walk the pit.

A few months earlier, I had a large cancerous tumor (14cm x 17cm) removed from my right thigh and I was still limping noticeably from the radiation treatments and the surgery. As the instructional part of the seminar was winding down, I consciously began to worry about my ability to walk across the fire pit without dragging my right leg and getting burned. But, I was committed to accomplishing this life changing experience come hell or high water.

It was evening of the second day and our class had moved outdoors. That’s when we got our first glimpse of the huge fire pit we were about to walk across. Suddenly, the silence was deafening. Talking about walking on fire is one thing, but confronting the fire pit is quite something else. The logs had burned to embers and what remained was white hot charcoal. In spite of our rational mind, which said hey, something is wrong with this picture, we lined up one by one to take our turn.

It was getting dark and there was a red glow in the sky as the sun began to sink in the West. The tension in the group was electric as all twenty members of the seminar dealt with their feelings and anxieties, separately but in unison. We soon discovered that no amount of training could take the edge off of getting your mind/body to do something as unnatural as walking across a hot bed of coals barefooted. But we had faith in our seminar leaders and believed that we were well prepared. And, we also knew that what we were being asked to do had already been done by thousands before us all over the world.

My position was somewhere in the middle of the line. This gave me plenty of time to begin playing mind games with myself. But before I knew it, it was my turn to walk the pit. To this day I vividly remember standing there, feeling the terrifying heat! Then my mind naturally began to question the wisdom of trying to walk across the pit with my right leg the way it was. Would I get across or would my right leg cause me to stumble?

Suddenly my rational conscious mind was telling me that walking across that hot fire pit was not something I really needed at this time in my life. I felt a wave of panic developing! Could I really do this with my limp or would it cause me to be terribly burned? I stood in front of the fire for what seemed an eternity. Then suddenly, as if on cue, my training kicked in and I heard my inner voice calmly say just face your fear and do it anyway. So I did, and I’m here, and the rest as they say is history!

The lesson from this experience is that we can all do much more than we ever imagined