Ballerina & Puppet Man

By Bruce Edwin Lee

Ballerina & Puppet Man is a story of a young black man of the 1960's, trying to be successful at creating pop music in a racially divided society. The main character, Gary Harrison, attempts to live his dreams by any means necessary, much to the chagrin of his band mates. But somewhere along the line he discovers, amidst truth and tragedy, the real meaning of life and love, and the true meaning of success. The 'puppet man' in him dissolves as his love for the ballerina deepens. The music speaks for itself in this fast and furious, graphically told, tale of sex, drugs and rock n' roll.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 26, 2010
• ISBN: 9781452082790

Bruce Edwin Lee

Bruce Edwin Lee was born and raised in the state of Maryland. His interest in poetry and music lead to an affinity for writing. "It was a dream of mine to write the great American novel," Bruce confides. "The songs contained within the text of this book actually helped to guide the direction the story. There will be a book sound track forthcoming, that will augment the setting of this 1960's roller coaster ride."

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

SOMETHING TOLD ME

NOT TO GET UP THIS MORNING

January 13, 1960 was a cold and rainy night in Olney, Maryland. Sometime around 9:30 pm two occupants of a 1958 Ford Thunderbird found out just how wet and treacherous the pavement can be under those weather conditions. As the pair ride home from an evening service at church, their vehicle skids off route and careens into a stone and grass ravine on the side of the road. There were no survivors in the single car accident.

March 1962, Gary Harrison is awakened by the sun shining thru his bedroom window and into his face. His dream about that fateful night stirs him from his sleep at least three times a month, That night was when he lost both of his parents.

Gary rolls over, barely cognizant of the events from the night before. He’s not alone in bed, he realizes. Immediately his mind returns to focus. And he remembers what transpired last evening.

His bedmate, a married Caucasian lady, arrived at his apartment to discuss the business deal the two of them had made. Some months before Gary was trying to get a business loan from the bank her husband works in. She and he struck up a friendship that led to her investing her husband’s money in Gary’s nightclub called Numbers.

This arrangement has lead to an illicit affair. Not only is she a married woman, which makes the liaison morally wrong, adultery even, but it’s also against the law for whites and coloreds to fornicate. The risks of such relationships are great. The ramifications in all of the United States can be a fine or even imprisonment. Last night all of those fears were cast aside. For the first time the relationship had crossed over from light kissing and petting, to an all out sexual experience.

She came in asking questions about the profitability of the club, Gary recalls, and the next thing I knew she was telling me about how her husband is always out of town.

Every time I want to make love he says he’s too tired. She complains. I bet he’s somewhere else doing some other girl. I’m so lonely, Gary. Can you help me…to not be so lonely?

Those were her words. She seemed pitiful and needy. But she was also helping to bankroll the remodeling of the club.

Gary has a history of having sex with lots of women. Some of them were white women too. They like, he thinks, that his skin is lighter than that of most negroes. It makes it not so bad, to be with one who is not so dark. They also like the fact that his features are not as broad as some of his peers; his nose and lips a little more narrow.

All of them want to know if the stereotypes are true. They always whisper between themselves that the black man has a larger penis than the white man. While the slave masters of the old days were screwing the young black maidens, the white women were trying out the Mandingos when no one was around. Maybe that’s how the pigment of Gary’s skin became lighter. Maybe that’s how all light colored blacks came to be.

Regardless of that, last night she was on Gary and grinding her crotch against his. She reached into his pants and exposed his penis, marveling at the length and girth of it, as presemenal fluid leaked out of the tip of it. She leaned forward and took it into her mouth, and sucked it wantonly and expertly.

All white women love to do that shit Gary thinks to himself as he sighs heavily, enjoying the sensation she was giving him.

Have you ever had this done to you before?

The questions she asked Gary, he expected. Stereotypes it seems, never go away. Perhaps it’s because they’re based on half truths. There are differences inherent in being black versus being white. Just what these differences are everyone is curious to know. Sexually speaking, she had lots of questions for him as they enjoyed each others’ bodies. Every move she made on him was accompanied by an inquiry.

How does my body compare to your black girlfriends? Have you ever been with a white woman before? Do you ever fantasize about them? Did you ever think you would end up with one? Did you think you and I were going to screw each other? Do black guys go down on their girlfriends? Do white girls do it as good as black girls? What if we get caught? What if I get pregnant?

That question sobers Gary up very quickly. And just as he was about to ejaculate he pulls his penis out of her vagina and climaxes on her stomach and upper thighs. She smiles and rubs the semen deep into her own skin. They embrace, with him lying on top. They kiss deeply and fall asleep in each others’ arms.

Now the sun shines on his face, bringing him back to the reality of today’s world. This is not supposed to happen. If they were in the South, Mississippi or Alabama for example, and they were discovered, both would never be heard from again.

Gary is not the only one to wake up to a harsh reality.

Oh shit! I fell asleep with you didn’t I? I better hurry up and get out of here and get home. Herb is gonna call me some time this morning. I better be home to answer it.

The woman hurries on her clothes, the sunlight illuminating every curve in her anatomy. Gary enjoys the sight and daydreams about the next time they can get together. He says nothing, though. He will wait until the time and place is of his liking before he suggests a follow up rendezvous. The next time will not be in his home.

After this, Gary plans silently, I don’t want her here.

She is beautiful, though. Her blonde hair is shoulder length and curves around her face. Her blue eyes sparkle with life. And though there is the beginning’s of crows feet around her eyes and wrinkles forming above her upper lip, it’s obvious to see she was really something to behold in her younger years. Now she’s a married, lonely, rich lady. A kept woman, almost. She has no children. She’s in need of something to make her life a little more fulfilling. Something to make it fun, at least. Well now she’s playing with fire. She pulls on her last article of clothing and sticks her head out of the front door of the apartment.

Good. No one’s awake yet. I’ll be in touch, Gary. She blows him a kiss and disappears into the hallway.

What a way to start the day, Gary thinks as he lies in bed. He leans over and looks at his alarm clock. He has 3 hours before rehearsal with his band. That’s enough time to just relax and reflect on his plan to succeed in the music industry.

‘The Plan’ is how he refers to it. And everyone that knows him understands what he means when he says it. Success doesn’t just happen to people of color, in this world. You have to be twice as good at your job. You have to be twice as knowledgeable to even be considered getting hired. How many times has Gary caught himself complaining that Elvis Presley is making millions of dollars on the colored man’s music?

Gary prefers Sam Cooke over Elvis. Not too many people outside of the Negro race have experienced a Sam Cooke concert. It’s awesome and inspiring to black music makers like him.

You can be whatever it is you work hard to be, Momma said it. Daddy preached it. Both were graduates of Howard University. Gary realizes, if not for them, he would not be living in this apartment, owning the club that he owns, driving the car that he drives or even wearing the clothes that he wears. His parents were everything to him and his brother Clarence.

Clarence, the elder of the two siblings, even followed in his father’s footsteps and became quiet involved in the Baptist Church. Even so, Gary remained the favorite son. When both parents were killed on that fateful night, it was Gary who was the executor of the will. And in that last will and testament, it was Gary who was left nearly everything of value. That really hurt Clarence. That decision caused a rift between the two brothers that is only now beginning to subside.

Lying comfortably in bed, Gary’s recollection takes him back to the break up of his long time relationship with his last girlfriend, Jackie. She wanted him to take the inheritance and the two of them get married. She wanted to move away from Maryland and start a new life together in North Carolina, where most of her family resides. Gary wanted no part of moving, and gave Jackie an ultimatum.

Stay here with me and help me realize my dream, or go back to Carolina by yourself. The choice is yours. I’m not going anywhere.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about all of the sacrifices she made to be with him. She met him over summer vacation when his family was visiting. They were just kids then; Gary was in ninth grade and Jackie in eighth. It was obvious to everyone who saw them together; there was an unusual magnetism between them. They became inseparable quickly. Jackie packed up all of her things and transferred to school in Maryland. She left her family and moved in with a cousin, to be near Gary. And now he is callously pushing away from the goals that Jackie thought they both had set for themselves; a home and a family together.

Gary has always been somewhat of a controlling person. But Jackie always liked that. She liked that her man could take hold of a situation and make it work for him. It made her feel secure. It felt like nothing could ever go wrong as long as she’s with him. But since his parents died in the accident, and a little money has come his way, he seems like an Emperor, newly given power over his countrymen. Like a dictator who doesn’t really know what to do with himself, and in his confusion, now turns against all of the people who love him the most, she and Clarence, for fear of losing what he has attained.

I have to go back to North Carolina, Jackie insists.

Gary, instead of understanding her point of view, just gets angry.

Go ahead and go then! I knew that when I had a legitimate chance to make something of myself that you wouldn’t be there for me! You just want to tie me down and make me like all of the other chumps around here! You want me to get up and go to work everyday, never knowing what I could have done for myself! You want me to go to work for The Man, and watch him get richer and not be able to express myself! You want me to sacrifice everything I ever dreamed of….so junior can have a chance at life when he grows up! Well this is my chance!!! I’m not gonna blow it! I’m not gonna have regrets about what could have been so you can have your silly little dream of a house with a white picket fence or whatever it is you’re dreaming of!

The words cut through her like a razor sharp sword. Gary stopped then, noticing Jackie was trembling with emotion. She was weeping deeply and silently within herself, hurt down to the core of her soul. Could this be the same person she lived for these last six or seven years? How could she have been so wrong about him, when he felt so right for her? It’s like a switch was turned on, or a Jekyll and Hyde episode. This new Gary has surfaced recently, and it was nothing like the version she fell in love with. In fact, this Gary she doesn’t even like. He, sensing that he has crossed the line of reasonability, reaches forward to comfort her.

No!

She backs away, not letting him touch her. She continues to back up, away from him, all the way to the door. It’s almost as if she were afraid to turn her back to him. She retreats out the door, softly closing it behind her.

That’s the last time he saw her, he recalls. Now Gary wonders if he’s any closer to his goal of being an entertainer, for having gone thru that? Is the music he makes good enough to get him noticed? Is his club in a good enough location to get him the exposure he needs to get to the next level? Should he hire an agent? Should he go into a studio and record some of his songs? Should he sing someone else’s songs? All of these questions plague Gary to the point where he becomes restless in bed.

He gets up and turns on the radio, to hear the morning news. WKYS 93.9 AM radio, comes on immediately. Gary hears the final notes of one of his favorite Sam Cooke songs, You send me, fade off the airwaves. He is disappointed that he didn’t get to hear it and knows that it will be a few hours before the radio will play another Cooke song.

He goes into the kitchen to make some coffee. He plugs in the pot and nothing happens.

What the…? I just bought this thing a couple of weeks ago. Piece of crap is already no good? I’ll go for the orange juice, then.

It’s a cold March morning. Gary really wanted the coffee to warm him up as well as wake him up. He goes to the shower and turns the hot water on full blast! Only cold water comes out.

Aw shit. Don’t tell me today’s gonna be like this, now.

Gary is not an overly religious man. He doesn’t believe in Karma. He doesn’t believe that bad behavior begets bad events happening in one’s life. The thought never crosses his mind that last nights affair has prompted fate to make things go wrong for him today. This is just one of those days where nothing is going to go right. That’s all it’s starting to be. It doesn’t mean anything.

Gary cuts himself while shaving.

At least I didn’t fuck up my mustache.

He pokes himself accidentally and painfully in the gums while brushing his teeth. He can’t find the shirt he just retrieved from the cleaners, or the tie. His watch is missing. It’s not the smoothest of mornings, but sometimes life is like that, he rationalizes.

It brings to mind a song he wrote some months ago. This happens a lot when you’ve written as many songs as Gary has, over the years. Gary sings the song to himself as he prepares to run out the door to go to his club. It’s an up-tempo dance track called Something told me not to get up this morning. It’s a song he wrote on piano, much in the vein of another of his idols, Little Richard.

I got a new car

I got some new shoes

I got some new clothes

I do what I choose

I got a good job

I’ve got respect

I have a good time

But I’m still a wreck

Something told me not to get up this morning

Something told me not to get up this morning

Something told me not to get up this morning

‘Cause I ain’t got you

I got a new house

And it’s so nice

I turn the heat on

But it’s cold as ice

I got some good friends

We have a good time

But there’s something

I still wish were mine

Something told me not to get up this morning

Something told me not to get up this morning

Something told me not to get up this morning

‘Cause I ain’t got you

I got religion

And I’ve got faith

But I still need you

And I still pray

Something told me not to get up this morning

‘Cause I ain’t got you

The news catches Gary’s ear and breaks the flow of the dance song Gary is singing to himself. The reality of the day sets in as the newscaster reports somber events.

An American Boeing 707 has crashed upon takeoff at New York international airport, killing all aboard.

President Kennedy says the United States will continue its ban against all Cuban imports and exports until the Cuban and Soviet Union trade pact is dissolved.

In Alabama, race riots have resulted in the bombing of a Protestant Church. 3 were killed in the incident.

The news of that tragedy hits Gary like a ton of bricks. Despite everything he has in his life, its news like this that reminds Gary of the status imposed on him by White America. The news always reminds him that first and foremost he is a colored man. The fact that he’s a man, or a human being even, comes in second to his racial heritage. The thought is sickening to Gary. It’s idiotic.

When will the world learn that a man is not gauged by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character? Gary quotes Martin Luther King.

The politics of race are today’s reality. Even last night

as Gary was having intercourse, the thought of the differences between him and her dominated the entire experience. It was still enjoyable, maybe for all the wrong reasons, but it paled in comparison to what it could have been like had they both been in an open minded society.

Gary, finally ready to go, closes and locks the door behind him. He says hello to the in-house maintenance man affectionately known as Nam. The nick name is short for the man’s country of origin, Vietnam.

"Hello Gary. Sleep okay last night?’

Yeah, Nam. Cold night, warm woman by my side.

Nam laughs at the comment. He has seen many women come and go from Gary’s apartment. He refers to the diverse collection of conquests as Gary’s united nations of girlfriends.

Gary gets in his car and it won’t start. He gets out of the car to hail a taxi, as an alternate transportation to get to work and a car racing through a puddle on the street splashes him.

God dammitt!!!!! he exclaims.

The words to his song resound in his brain. Something told me not to get up this morning. Now he knows why.

CHAPTER TWO

TOO MANY WOMEN

Where you been, man?

The question makes Gary angrier than he was five minutes ago, upon entering his club ‘Numbers’. He hates being late for anything. His brother Clarence knows this and asks the question to get under Gary’s skin a little bit.

One of those mornings, my brother. Everything is going wrong, you know? I even had to go back and change my clothes.

We thought you, maybe, fell into something or other.

The band laughs at the implication of the statement. Everyone knows Clarence was alluding to the reputation Gary has, that he’s a playboy ladies’ man. Any time there is a delay in the practice session, it’s the first thought on everyone’s mind, that Gary must be with one of his women.

Everybody here? The question is more of a rhetorical one than anything else. Gary knows full well that he is the last one to show up for rehearsals. He glances around the room and acknowledges each musician by name and by instrument.

Clarence Harrison, his brother, on lead and rhythm guitars. Clarence, though Gary’s older brother, is shorter and slightly overweight. He doesn’t have the athletic build that Gary does; or the full head of hair. Rather, he is receding slightly in his hairline and he is darker skinned like his father. Still the resemblance between the two siblings cannot be mistaken.

Jimmie Lewis, longtime family friend, on piano and organ. Jimmie is a tall and very thin man. Sometimes people think his life is immersed in drugs and alcohol addictions. His tattoos and pierced ears take others by surprise, as few men wear earrings for fear of being mistaken as homosexual. This doesn’t bother Jimmie at all. To the contrary, he relishes all of the negative attention that it garners him.

Cedric McLain, on bass, fills out the original band lineup from a few years ago. Cedric is a ladies’ man of Gary’s magnitude almost. He will only date black women, though. Cedric is young and strong, built like someone who works every day on a construction site, swinging a sledgehammer. He never says too much, but his actions speak loudly for themselves.

Bobby on the drums and Archie on the saxophone, fill out the band. They are two roving musicians with less than one year playing with the group.

Sherri Montgomery is the newest member of the band. She is cute and petite. Her hair is straightened and processed, hanging down to her shoulders. She often finds men of all races admiring her good looks. Her features are classic black, but with higher cheekbones than most. Her eyes are big and wide open, beautiful. Her skin is smooth chocolate brown.

Clarence heard Sherri sing at the church, and thought she would be a good addition to their sound. Her soft background and harmony vocals are a good contrast to Gary’s rougher and stronger vocal style.

It’s become evident to everyone in the group that Sherri has taken a liking to Gary. Clarence has noticed the look on her face whenever one of Gary’s female friends comes to call. Gary has not noticed her in this way.

Today the band gets ready for Saturday night’s show. Having been in the building