White Man, Black Man, Chinese Man: A Synoptic Tale of a True Friendship

By Dr. J. Scott Henderson

When Petey Winthorp, Ashe Blackwell, and Sokko Chung enter the United Friends Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Washington, D.C., they cause a small stir. This trio of forty-five-year-old, lifelong friends is not only recuperating together after a car accident, but one is white, one is black, and one is Chinese.

During their rehabilitation, the men entertain the staff with their stories of growing up together as best friendsplaying schoolyard games, competing in sports, chasing girls, getting in trouble, attending prom, graduating, and obtaining their first cars and houses. But more importantly, they share how their friendship endured while facing discrimination, racism, and stereotyping fueled by their unique relationship.

White Man, Black Man, Chinese Man chronicles the unique and inspiring relationship of Winthorp, Blackwell, and Chung. It provides a glimpse into real-life situations of race, morals, and multiculturalism, and it reveals true insights about the power of racism and the human ability to overcome it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jul 7, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462012176

Dr. J. Scott Henderson

J. Scott Henderson is a doctor of physical therapy and a partner in Ergo Solutions, a rehabilitation company. An internationally recognized public speaker and facilitator, Hederson is also the president and founder of Optimistic Diversity LLC—a training and consultant firm in Washington, D.C. (www.speakoptimisticdiversity.com)

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White Man,

Black Man,

Chinese Man

A Synoptic Tale of a True Friendship

Dr. J. Scott Henderson

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

White Man, Black Man, Chinese Man

A Synoptic Tale of a True Friendship

Copyright © 2011 by Dr. J. Scott Henderson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4620-1215-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-1216-9 (dj)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-1217-6 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011906640

Printed in the United States of America

iUniverse rev. date: 6/18/2011

Contents

Foreword

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Thank You Page

WHITE MAN, BLACK MAN, CHINESE MAN

An Invitation

People and Places in the Book

Foreword

Multiculturalism

My name is Dr. Courtland Wyatt, DPT, and I have had the pleasure of being Jason Henderson’s business partner for the last ten years. We own Ergo Solutions LLC, a rehabilitation company that specializes in providing occupational, physical, and speech therapy. I was at one point its chief operating officer and, as of this writing, am considered a principal owner. This simply means that now I have a little more free time in which I am not bogged down with all of the worries of day-to-day operations. This newfound free time has allowed me to sit back and reflect on how we built this company, from one worth only a few hundred dollars a year to a multimillion-dollar enterprise. In business there are many rules and principles that you may follow. There are millions of businesses that specialize in many different areas. But the one thing that all businesses have in common is that they in some facet must serve the people of the world. It was this key revelation—which Jason pinpointed a few years back—that reshaped and galvanized our company to provide a great service for years to come.

I recall being in one of our monthly executive meetings. We all had copies of the meeting agenda, which consistently were the same items every month. The basic premise for the meeting was to establish a better product for our customers, run a great organization, be profitable. No matter how many of these executive meetings we had, our organization was not making the mark. Some people were not performing and reaching established goals; managers were not on top of their game; and some of the of the hospitals and nursing homes for which we provided services were significantly behind in payment. To say the least, our organization was not running effectively or efficiently.

During one meeting, Jason Henderson asked a simple question: Look around you and what do you see? Why are we underperforming? Needless to say, the majority of the fifteen executives in this meeting were perplexed. Some gave typical answers, such as cut costs, manage better, hire more staff, and increase the marketing budget. At this point, Jason looked around and said to the audience that we had become too comfortable. I was perplexed and asked him what exactly he meant. Jason stated that we had become comfortable because everyone in this room was the same. We were not culturally diverse, whereas our customers were.

The United States is a country consisting of many cultures, races, and religions. It is becoming increasingly diverse and global, with many minority cultures and races developing into a vast melting pot. Both cultural and spiritual differences in people are potential causes for misunderstanding, confusion, and conflict arising from intolerance, ignorance, and racism. In today’s global market, it is imperative for professionals of all types to have an awareness, knowledge, and appreciation of others whose beliefs, morals, and social values are different. In White Man, Black Man, Chinese Man, Jason takes a look at society and culture by paralleling racial views with some of the infamous jokes about white men, black men, and Chinese men.

The book is a sobering look into the aspect of race relations and friendship that exists among three friends. After reading this book, you should question yourself. Am I culturally insensitive? Do all of my friends look like me? Am I afraid to really step outside of myself and embrace people of different cultures?

Reading this book made me recall being on vacation a year ago in Jamaica. I went to play golf and was paired up with one white man and one Chinese man. I was the black man. We all appeared to be about the same age. After playing golf, we all went inside of the restaurant to have a couple of beers. The Chinese guy ordered an Asian-brewed beer, the white guy ordered an American-brewed Coors Light, and I ordered a Mexican-brewed Corona. The white guy pointed out that everyone had a beer that suited his ethnicity except me and that I should change my order to a Colt 45 malt liquor. That was a very racist and culturally insensitive thing to say, but in my honest opinion, I don’t think that he thought he had said anything offensive.

This is what’s great about this book. It gives a glimpse into real-life situations of race, morals, and multiculturalism. This is why everyone needs to have an understanding of cultural diversity and balance. Without this understanding, I could have flipped and said something inflammatory to him as well. If I had done so, it would have fueled more of the negative stereotypes that exist today. Instead, I just laughed on the inside because I felt sorry for the white guy’s ignorance. I have replayed that scenario in my mind a hundred times and have questioned whether I perpetuated a stereotype by not saying anything to correct him.

I am writing this foreword because I see now how the next ten to twenty years are to be shaped in this world. On a business and human level, the global economic power is shifting. If each individual does not know or understand the importance of accepting cultural diversity and developing good race relations, that individual’s ability to be of any significance in the business world and to develop into a good citizen of society will be greatly reduced.

In the first paragraph, I referenced Jason’s comments on becoming comfortable. As I see it now, comfort should be a balance. We must become comfortable with getting to know each other’s cultural differences. We should also have an uneasy feeling in this day and age when everything around us is too familiar to the extent we do not recognize the need for change. Change is needed. It is the driving force behind evolution. If we do not change our thinking, we run the risk of becoming expendable, insignificant zombies, existing without a purpose.

In closing, people do not like change because it is not comfortable. I challenge you, the reader, to do a paradigm shift in your thinking and reasoning because you are going to need it to deal with the future. So please have in your arsenal the ability to get uncomfortable in comfortable situations, because the world is changing every day.

Courtland Wyatt

Principle, Ergo Solutions LLC

1250 Connecticut Ave NW suite 200

Washington DC 20036

www.goergorehab.com

Board Chair of Ergo Resolutions

Chapter 1

Happy Times

Interracial friendships are an act of revolution and a triumph of imagination.

—Emily Bernard, Some of My Best Friends: Writings on Interracial Friendships

Friday Morning

Today was unlike most days. As I arrived at United Friends Rehab Center, for some reason I felt the need to do what many say we should do every day: I stopped to smell the roses. As I got out of my car in the parking lot, I grabbed my lab coat, briefcase, name badge, and cup of coffee, as usual. I draped my lab coat over my left arm. I clipped my name badge to my white polo shirt. My briefcase was in my left hand, and I reached out for my coffee with my right hand. When I closed the door of my silver BMW, the morning sun was already bright on this summer morning. I had a great appreciation for the golden time of the day.

As I approached the building, something in my mind said, Slow up, come to a stop, and enjoy this morning. I was in the midst of the landscape of the facility. In the Friendship Heights area of DC, you find some of the best summer foliage. I came to a walkway where I placed my coffee on a brick wall, put down my briefcase, and draped my lab coat over the briefcase. I started to appreciate the great work of the gardeners of the home. The sun’s rays illuminated the prism of colors from the diverse trees and flowers in the facility’s garden. Each tree had a name tag at its base. I stopped to read the tags for the first time in five years of working there. The tapestry of colors was beautiful in the summer—the pinkish purple of the flowers on the Mexican redbud trees; the snow white of the flowers on the Chinese fringe trees; the yellows of the Korean sweetheart trees. I went on to read more tags, such as those identifying European white birch, American and Spanish chestnuts, and African violets. I took ten minutes to appreciate the amazing colors and how they were in harmony. I went back to the brick wall, picking up my lab coat and briefcase. By the time I finished, my coffee was much cooler. I had to get to the 9:00 am standing meeting.

I was the director of rehab services at United Friends. I had a doctorate of physical therapy (PT) and had been practicing for more than fifteen years. I led a team that provided specialized rehabilitative services.

The United Friends facility had a well-directed nursing home. The administrative leadership team was in charge of planning, organizing, directing, and managing the operation, as well as implementing the policies of the facility. This included but was not limited to making operating decisions, ensuring fiscal responsibility, providing general supervision, employing and discharging staff, handling programming, and ongoing evaluation of the care and services provided in the nursing home to ensure the health and safety of the residents, visitors, and staff. United Friends also integrated its services with the community’s health resources.

I had just parked my car and walked up the sidewalk by the bed of roses when I ran into Mr. Ward, the CEO. He loved the facility’s mission concept of we live together. He was very liberal in his ideas and loved to express cooperation in the home.

I said, Good morning, Mr. Ward!

As he briskly walked by, he greeted me with a smile before he dropped a book from underneath his arm. He had his hands all tied up, so I bent to pick up the book for him. I saw the book was The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You by John C. Maxwell.

Mr. Ward reached out for the book. Thank you so much. I am sorry, for I have been in such a rush this morning. I will see you at the standing am meeting!

He had another book in his arms entitled La France vraie : L'identité culturelle d'excédent de guerres, by Herman Lebovics. I knew the book was written in French. Mr. Ward quickly picked up his pace and went inside to prepare for the meeting.

He was firm but fair in his leadership approach. He led our team of professionals that serviced the residents in the home. Mr. Ward was a no-nonsense type of leader. He gave the whole staff freedom to manage and direct and had high expectations of proficiency and professionalism. He loved the mission of the home and wanted the best for every resident. Our team of professionals was always on guard to present the highest level of evidence-based practices in the home.

That Friday afternoon, Mr. Ward would be pulling the whole interdisciplinary team together to tell us of the new admissions expected over the weekend. Mr. Ward was a well-dressed, lean man. He entered the conference room holding a cup of coffee in one hand and his briefcase in the other. He seemed perkier than usual as if he had a surprise or good news for the team. He always sat at the head of the table during meetings, but today he stood over his chair and never sat down during the whole fifteen-minute meeting. He held his coffee, periodically placing it on his favorite coaster when he wanted to make powerful hand gestures as he talked. He began all his meetings with a power quote.

Mr. Ward sounded delighted as he began. Hello, team. It is now 9:00 am. The quote of the day is, ‘When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.’ John F. Kennedy, our thirty-fifth president.

Everyone in the meeting paused and took a moment to ponder the quote. I imagined someone sharing a message of optimism through poetry in the face of adversity. I thought of powerful people like JKF, Martin Luther King Jr., and Gandhi.

Mr. Ward often would say in meetings, I am not your typical Frenchman. I guessed that he meant that he didn’t sport a moustache, beret, and striped shirt; didn’t carry baguettes under his arm along with some good wine and cheese; and wasn’t intolerant of foreigners.

He clarified by reading from the French book he had brought to the meeting. He translated the words into English. He began to talk to us about cultural identity and cultural competence.

Mr. Ward smiled. It is my pleasure to share that the admissions team and I are admitting three residents tomorrow. They are coming from the Washington Hospital Center and will be joining us for rehabilitative services. I told the discharge team there that we had the best rehab team in the city, so they chose our home. We have three men who I understand are very close. I met them at the Washington Hospital Center, and they are a treat, I tell you. I found out that they were in a motor vehicle accident on I-95 last week. They say that the Asian man was driving. He smiled. Okay, not all Asians suck at driving!

Mr. Ward turned his back to pour another cup of coffee into the empty mug. The conference room fell silent. We all looked at each other. When he turned back to face the team, he read our faces and paused. He began to realize that the coffee was too hot and placed the mug on the coaster. He looked from side to side and around the table, slowly grinned, and said, It’s a joke! Are you guys here? I guess that one went over your heads. Anyway, most of the ‘bad’ Asian drivers are from the older generation. Okay, I am just kidding, guys. Back to business. Each has suffered a fracture in the lower extremity. It is told that they were all in the car when it struck a tree. The orthopedist, Dr. Wells, wants them to start therapy immediately and said it should be aggressive. The three men appear to have a good friendship, but I heard from one nurse that they had had a falling out for some time prior to the accident. I want us to be prepared for these three men. I want to thank you, team. I will see you on Monday.

Day 1, Saturday

The three men were admitted the next day. I was assigned to assess all three residents that day. I had no idea how close-knit these three men were. They were the same age, fourty-five and seemed to know one another very well. As the evaluating physical therapist, I always worked in conjunction with Ada, the director of occupational therapy (OT). Ms. Ada Omatete was a tall, slender, athletic thirty-year-old woman from Nigeria who had been raised in the DC area. She would wear different-colored scrubs every day. During the week, she wore solid colors. On Mondays, she wore blue, Tuesdays green, Wednesdays white, Thursdays pink, and Fridays yellow. Every weekend, when she worked, she would wear multicolored patterned scrubs with logos, animals, and cartoons.

Ada was just as intrigued about the three men as I was. The rehab technician brought all three in at the same time by chance. When I saw them enter the rehab gym, all in wheelchairs, I was taken aback. They were an oddity if I ever saw one—a white man, a black man, and a Chinese man.

They entered laughing and talking openly to one another. Ada believed that this was a very odd scene of three men who got along very well. In the rehab room, the white man arrived, out of breath. He had rolled his wheelchair all the way from his room. He grabbed his chest and bellowed, I need to be first because I have visitors coming.

The black man and the Chinese man followed, pushed by nurses. They said together in unison, We knew that was coming!

The white man chuckled as he reached out to give the Chinese man noogies, rubbing his head with his knuckles, simultaneously knocking off the Chinese man’s glasses.

The Chinese man straightened his countenance and his glasses. Petey, you’ve always got to go first.

The black man reached out to tap repeatedly on the balding head of the white man. That is right. Petey always goes first!

The black man, who was apparently of towering stature, was not fitting properly in his chair, as his knees were pushed almost into his chest. He had one leg stretched out and was gently rubbing the brace that was on the knee.

The white man poked at the black man’s stomach with his index finger and pushed three times, saying, What … is … that?

The Chinese man laughed. Ashe, what’s up with the Buddha Belly?

The black man pushed away the pointing finger, and his countenance fell for a split second. He returned a quick-witted remark about the white man’s bald head and round physique. Sokko, look how out-of-breath Petey is!

Great laughter filled the rehab room. An older male resident whispered from another table, Have you heard the story about the white man, the black man, and the Chinese man? His words were loud enough so that all three men heard him.

The three chuckled and said, We’ve heard that our whole lives.

The Chinese man said, Please tell us more about the white man, the black man, and the Chinese man.

The old man stopped, for he had never meant for them to hear his story. His face went pale, his jaw dropped, and he said nothing. His glasses fell to the tip of his nose, and he lowered his head in shame.

A great, awkward silence fell over the rehab room.

The black man shouted, I didn’t think so! to the older man.

The white man added, Ashe, Sokko, do you think he was going to tell us one we never heard?

The three shrugged it off, as if they had heard them all.

I began my evaluation of their personalities even before the physical examination. They were hilarious. They understood one another. They were professional men who were all there with orthopedic problems. They had been in the same accident. One had a hip fracture, one a knee fracture, and one an ankle fracture.

It was amazing how a black man, a white man, and a Chinese man were so close and had been friends for years. The interesting thing was how Mr. Winthorp, Mr. Blackwell, and Mr. Chung related. The black man, Mr. Blackwell, was referred to as Ashe, the white man, Mr. Winthorp, was called Petey, and the Chinese man, Mr. Chung, was Sokko. I never used their nicknames. They used them with each other as terms of endearment as if they had great meaning.

I had to ask, How do you all know each other?

Mr. Blackwell started the conversation. It was all because of that book. That damn book!

What book? I asked.

Mr. Winthorp shouted, Lovett Library in Philly!

Mr. Chung added, Yes, in the northwest area of Germantown. It’s in Mt. Airy. My family always took us to Lovett Memorial Library.

I interrupted. Okay, what book?

The black man laughed, and the three stated harmoniously, "The Five Chinese Brothers."

The black man continued to tell the story. "I was about seven years old when I first went to Lovett Memorial Library. I was with my second-grade class. My teacher was Ms. Miller. She would take us to the library the first Friday of the month. The kids in my class all loved the library for several reasons. The girls wrote notes to boys, and the boys drew pictures of little pee-pees and wee-wees in the books. We were amazed at the talented artists who drew exaggerated boy and girl body parts in the books. I was always fascinated with children’s books that were different. Being that my whole second-grade class was black, everyone was surprised when I chose The Five Chinese Brothers. Even Ms. Miller, a white woman, was intrigued. She told all the kids to come around the table so she could read the book to us. I was petrified of