Ruth's Fables and Other Stories

By R.E. Todd

This book is a collection of true stories about real people, family and friends and the influence they had on my life. It is all about the journey that each of us makes through life and how we arrive at our destination.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jul 31, 2002
• ISBN: 9781475909289

R.E. Todd

Daughter of entrepreneurs from the culturally diverse inner city, Chicago Democrat Ruth Todd is a wife, mother of three and grandmother of three. Working in computers and telecommunications serving the nuclear industry, Ruth holds masters degrees in History and Business Administration. She is a great storyteller and an American treasure.

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Ruth’s Fables and Other Stories

How to thrive and survive in the school of life.

R. E. Todd

Authors Choice Press

San Jose New York Lincoln Shanghai

Ruth’s Fables and Other Stories

All Rights Reserved © 2002 by Ruth Ellen Todd

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher.

Authors Choice Press

an imprint of iUniverse, Inc.

For information address:

iUniverse, Inc.

5220 S. 16th St., Suite 200

Lincoln, NE 68512

www.iuniverse.com

Part biographical, part autobiographical and part self help—this book is a guide

book for happiness.

ISBN: 978-1-475-90928-9 (ebook)

ISBN: 0-595-23957-9

Contents

THE WITNESS

THE SOUP POTS

THE COAL TRUCK

EYES WIDE OPEN

PRESENTS

WHICH ONE OF US IS CRAZY?

A MATH MAJOR I’M NOT!

FAMILY, FEAR AND DEATH

THE POOL PLAYER

CHILDHOOD NEUROSIS

KINDERGARTEN HOOKY

THE SHOPLIFTERS

MASHED POTATOES

MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR-THE CINDERELLA STORY

FLASH OF THE TIGHT ENDS

THE ROBBER

FRIENDS

MENTORS AND FRIENDS

ON BEING RAISED MOSTLY BY MY FATHER

PROMISES

BE NOT AFRAID

A TEA SET

THE RESTAURANT

MY FATHER’S DAUGHTER

IT’S ALL ABOUT STRENGTH OF WILL

THE HONESTY OF CHILDREN

THE PENGUIN

MOSCOW

THE LOST SEA

MY NAME

CANCER

KETCHUP AND A PLASTIC KNIFE

THE SMOOTH

THE WRONG KEY

CHANGE

FAVORITE FILMS AND BOOKS

ON THE ADVICE OF PEDIATRICIANS

BOOKS

MY FIRST HOUSE

I’M NOT LOST, YOU ARE!

THE BLUE LUSTERS

WORMS

RUNNING OUT OF WALL

BETTING YOUR HUNCHES

FINDING YOUR LUCK

TETANUS SHOTS AND MOTHER

ON VISITING ATLANTA

ON EDUCATION

QUANTITATIVE METHODS IN BUSINESS

CHICKEN AND EGG STORIES

HOMEMADE SOUPS

ON HOW TO QUIT SMOKING

I’M HURT AND SHE’S MAIMED

MULES, TOBACCO AND OTHER TRUE STORIES

ON CHASING THE DOG

ON LEARNING ABOUT FEMALE IMPERSONATORS

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

THE BEATING

I’VE BEEN LOST HERE BEFORE

PRIDE IN SOMEONE

A DIFFICULT TIME IN ATLANTA

GEEZ, THAT STUFF STINKS

AN AFTERLIFE

WHEN BAD THINGS CONSPIRE

THE 1959 CHEVY

A POEM

TO KNOW ME IS TO LOVE ME

FLORA AND FAUNA

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

FLINT

IT IS A VERY SMALL WORLD

A SPIDERS’ BITE

TALENTS

THE BOOKIE

A RUNNER

COINS

THE CRYSTAL BOWL

THE MAHOGANY TABLE

DARDEN AND LOBSTER BOY

MY GRANDFATHER AND THE ROOSTER

CASTORIA AND THE BAKERY WAGON

PAUL REVERE

SIMON’S RESTAURANT

THE RUBBER TREE

BUDDY BOY

BREAK-IN AT THE RESTAURANT

POKER WITH THE RELATIVES

YUCCA MOUNTAIN

MY NEPHEW MARK

SELF MENTORING

END OF VOLUME I

This is dedicated to my parents, John and Loretta, and my nephew John with love.

I miss you more than mere words can express. It is also dedicated to my husband without him none of this would be possible.

This is a collection of life stories. To the best of my knowledge, they are true and each one has a lesson learned. I began writing these, so that my daughters would know the family stories and then discovered that others in my family and other people, not in my family, liked these stories. It somehow became important to share them more widely.

They are not especially profound or earth shaking stories but more like down home, common sense stories, or rules to live by stories. For me, these stories have become lessons to learn along the way and a path for survival. Some are funny and some are sad but they are all part of who I am. I have, over time, called them my fables like Aesop of old.

I am grateful to my family and friends who have helped me remember and assemble these stories and to all the people who have shared my journey through childhood into adulthood. Each day of our lives is filled with life’s lessons, if we are willing to learn.

As you read these stories, you may think of other lessons learned. The lessons learned written here are the ones that I gleaned as my nuggets to carry forward.

The Witness 

My father told me that when he was a young man he actually saw John Dillinger shot in front of the Biograph Theater in Chicago.

Dad used to live in a house on Marshfield Avenue and the Biograph was within walking distance, for him, from his house.

The story goes: "I was walking to the theater and when I got within a block or two, I noticed a bunch of fancy cars and men in suits. As I got closer to the theater, there were several more ‘suits’.

In those days, theaters didn’t sell candy and popcorn in the theater. There were stores on either side of the street that sold candy apples, licorice, popcorn and other snacks. I was opposite the theater when I saw a woman come out and talk to one of the suits.

She was a good looking woman so I stood on the stoop of the candy store to watch—in a few moments-a guy walks out of the theater and BAM!—guns everywhere, bullets flying—I hit the ground (the stoop) and kept my head down.

Then there was a great deal of commotion, cops everywhere, they hustled me into the store. I asked what was going on and I was told to mind my own business. After awhile, the all clear was given and I was able to go into the theater-just like nothing happened. The next day, the newspaper headline read: John Dillinger shot dead at Biograph.

I knew then what had happened and how it happened."

Lesson Learned 1: Keep your eyes open and your head down.

Lesson Learned 2: Look around you, the movie may be right in front of you and not just in the theater.

The Soup Pots 

Mom had two stoves, two ovens, a grill and a steam table in the back of her kitchen at the restaurant. She usually had food cooking in pots and pans on every burner, in both ovens and was always cooking special orders on the grill.

Her ability to keep her homemade soup available for customers was limited by the size of the pots she had to use. She had several 3-quart pans and she would make soup in four or five of these pans but she would always run out. She hated to disappoint customers.

On one of our weekend trips to Hank’s house, she was describing her dilemma to Hank and he commiserated with her. Three days later, Hank showed up at the restaurant with pots that he had bought at the Naval store on the base at Great Lakes. These are utility pots that would hold several gallons of soup and would more than fill the bill.

Hank told Mom, that good cooks were few and far between and he couldn’t let a little thing like pots and pans stand in the way of a good meal. Mom was so happy she cried.

Lesson Learned: Always have the right tool for the job at hand if you want to do it right.

The Coal Truck 

My Uncle Hank married my mother’s sister Mae. Mae and Hank and Mom and Dad used to double date when they were courting and Hank and my dad got along famously. At the time, Hank was driving a coal truck and sometimes he would bring my dad along as a helper.

Story 1: On one of these trips, Hank and dad, had been delivering coal all day and were almost done. Hank had to use the restroom but as there were no public restrooms around, he had stopped along the side of the road while dad waited in the truck. Hank finished up and sat down in the truck and started driving when he felt something in his pants. He reached down to touch it to see what it was. Before he could say or do anything, he was stung. He was stung and stung and stung. A hornet had flown into his fly while he was urinating and was now repeatedly stinging his private parts.

The whole time the hornet is stinging, Hank is hollering, trying to keep control of the truck, trying to open his fly to let the hornet out and moaning in pain. He finally freed the hornet and then gave control of the truck to dad. Dad had to take him to the doctor’s office to be treated.

Hank’s embarrassment had only just begun. Once at the doctor’s office the receptionist, a woman, asked him why he needed to see the doctor. Hank told her it was personal but she would not take that as an answer. He was also in tremendous pain and dad was with him trying really hard not to laugh. After all, this can happen to anyone. He finally whispered to the receptionist that he had been stung on his privates and really needed to see the doctor.

After he cleared the receptionist, Hank thought he was home free. They ushered Hank into one of the examining rooms and as soon as he gets comfortable (no easy feat at this point) a pretty young nurse comes in and asks to see the sting. Hank explains that he would rather not but the nurse insists so she can advise the doctor and they can help him faster.

Faster sounded good to him, so he opened his pants and there his privates are—swollen to epic proportions. The nurse looked, blushed and then bolted out of the room. Hank did get treatment but he needed ice packs for the swelling and it took several days for all of his parts to return to a normal size.

Story 2: Dad and Hank were pretty fearless guys. They were both of a good size, not afraid of a fight if someone brought them one and they braved all kinds of adverse conditions to do their jobs because that’s what they were paid to do.

The deliveries had