Things That Make No Sense

By Kenneth Meeks

Things That Make No Sense deals with everyday occurrences experienced by everyone as they go about their daily lives. Some things just dont make any sense at all! Many of the stories included here deal with common events such as unresponsive or poor customer service, which is becoming all too frequent these days. Some of these instances can probably be characterized as funny, some as unbelievable, and others as simply irrational. Sometimes the only appropriate reaction to one of these annoying events is disgust.

Things That Make No Sense is an entertaining and amusing collection of sixty of the most ridiculous of these actions and decisions that author Kenneth W. Meeks has observed. No doubt everyone has had experiences similar to those recounted hereor even more unbelievable than the ones included in the book. Prepare to be sympathetically irked, incredibly entertained, and ridiculously amused!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 31, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450247115

Kenneth Meeks

Having served over twenty-nine years as a naval officer in the Civil Engineer Corps, Kenneth W. Meeks is now retired. After retiring from service, he obtained a doctorate in civil engineering and entered the field of academia. Now fully retired, he lives in northeastern Indiana with his wife of forty-two years, Lynn.

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THINGS THAT

MAKE NO SENSE

KENNETH W. MEEKS

iUniverse, Inc.

New York Bloomington

Things That Make No Sense

Copyright © 2010 by Kenneth Meeks

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

ISBN: 978-1-4502-4899-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4502-4711-5 (ebook)

ISBN: 978-1-4502-4898-3 (dj)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010911487

iUniverse rev. date: 8/23/2010

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

COMMUNICATIONS

1 RADIO STATION WLKI

2 TELEPHONE SERVICE

3 FACEBOOK PHOTOS

4 CELL PHONES IN CHURCH

5 CELL PHONES AND DRIVING

PRODUCTS

6 TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE

7 NEW COKE

8 RYE SNACK CHIPS

9 WONDER HANGER

10 SURE ANTI-PERSPIRANT & DEODORANT

SPORTS

11 COLLEGE BASKETBALL HOT SHOOTERS

12 THE NAVY VERSUS AIR FORCE FOOTBALL GAME

13 CRAZY NCAA RULE

14 DIVISION III SPRING FOOTBALL

15 FOOTBALL OFFICIAL

16 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PASS DEFENSE

17 SPORTS PAGE ARTICLES

18 SPORTS OFFICIALS

UNIVERSITIES

19 UNIVERSITY VANS

20 CHANGING CLASSROOMS

21 ACCREDITATION BOARD FOR ENGINEERING AND TECHNOLOGY

22 POLICY ON SERVICE AWARDS

23 CONCRETE CANOE RACES

24 INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY

25 BUILDING RENOVATIONS

26 BACK STABBERS

27 ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANTS

HIGHWAYS

28 INTERSTATE EXIT NUMBERS

29 INTERSTATE HIGHWAY CLOSURE IN PENNSYLVANIA

30 OHIO TURNPIKE ROAD SIGNS

31 FALLING ROCKS ON THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE

MILITARY

32 NAVY NUCLEAR SUBMARINE

33 THE NEW CHINESE NATION

34 VIETNAM WAR EXPERIENCE

RESTAURANTS

35 MACARONI AND CHEESE

36 TV AUDIO IN BARBECUE RESTAURANT

37 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE LIMITED

38 BUYING A NEW JAGUAR

39 AUTOMOBILE DEALERSHIP CLOSURES

ORGANIZATIONS

40 U.S. NAVAL ACADEMY ALUMNI ASSOCIATION

41 AMERICAN CONCRETE INSTITUTE

42 ELECTRICITY OUTAGE

43 HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION

44 FORT WAYNE VETERANS HOSPITAL

45 SHORTCHANGING VETERANS

GOVERNMENT

46 AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENING

47 FAIRTAX

48 MICHAEL JACKSON’S DEATH

49 PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER

50 NAVAL PETROLEUM AND OIL SHALE RESERVES

MY FATHER

51 CUTTING GRASS

CUSTOMER SERVICE

52 COMPUTERS

53 PENNSYLVANIA BANK

54 TECHNICAL SERVICE

55 CABLE TV SERVICE

NATIONAL CHAIN STORES

56 THE RUNNING COMMODE

57 MAY CROWNING

58 KMART STORE CLOSING

MACKINAC ISLAND HOTEL

59 THE GRAND HOTEL

SALARY DISPARITIES

60 SALARIES

EPILOGUE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

For my wife, Lynn; my son, Michael; my daughter-in-law, Anne; and most especially my three beautiful granddaughters, Mary, Katherine, and Meaghan.

Common sense is very uncommon.

Horace Greeley

ILLUSTRATIONS

FOOTBALL OFFICIAL

UNIVERSITY VANS

CONCRETE CANOE RACES

BACK STABBERS

FALLING ROCKS ON THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE

BUYING A NEW JAGUAR

AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENING

CUTTING GRASS

RUNNING COMMODE

THE GRAND HOTEL

INTRODUCTION

Are you like me? Throughout my life I have witnessed, and sometimes been a participant in, things that have made no sense at all. Many times there have been decisions made by my superiors, sometimes by the organizations for which I was working, and sometimes by our government or Congress. Other instances have been actions taken by persons in positions of authority. Some of these foolish things occurred in the early years of my career, whereas others have occurred later in my life. As I am writing this book, I am approaching the age of sixty-seven, having just last year retired from my second career. My first and primary career was serving as a naval officer in the Civil Engineer Corps. I retired after more than twenty-nine years of service in the U.S. Navy at the rank of captain. My second career in academia spanned eleven years; I retired in 2008 as a full professor and department chair in the department of civil and environmental engineering at Tri-State University in Angola, Indiana. (Shortly after I retired, the university changed its name to Trine University.)

This book is a collection of sixty of the most ridiculous of these actions and decisions I have encountered. No doubt everyone has had experiences similar to mine—or even more incredulous than the ones I have included in the book. Many are everyday occurrences we all experience, such as nonresponsive or poor customer service, which is becoming all too common these days. Some of these instances can probably be characterized as funny, some as unbelievable, and others as simply irrational. Sometimes the word that I would use to describe my reaction to one of these annoying events is disgusted.

I have cataloged the items into groupings of chapters. This facilitates a smooth flow of the material in the book. Each chapter is an essay describing my experiences and observations concerning consumer affairs, government, sports, and a variety of other themes from both public and private organizations. For some time, I have been keeping a portfolio of things that made no sense to me, and these are included in the book. Others have simply occurred to me from time to time.

I hope you will find the book to be both entertaining and amusing. It has been fun as a senior citizen to think back over my life and recall some of the most bizarre and foolish things that have occurred. I can remember wondering many times how someone could make such a nonsensical decision or take such an irresponsible action on some important matter. Most of the time there simply was no rationale for doing something that made no sense. As I progressed in my career into some top management positions, one of the things I promised myself was that I would work hard at making sound, logical, and sensible decisions. Although I no doubt made some mistakes, I am very proud that I was known as one who respected the ideas, opinions, and suggestions of others, and I always strived to do things that made sense.

COMMUNICATIONS

CHAPTER 1

RADIO STATION WLKI

I live in Angola, a small town with a population of about 9,000 in the northeastern tip of Indiana. Angola is famous for its large number of natural lakes. It is claimed that there are 101 lakes in the region surrounding Angola, located in Steuben County. Angola is also the home of Trine University, a small, private university specializing in undergraduate engineering education. Trine University engineers are highly respected and vigorously recruited by employers throughout the tristate areas of Indiana, Ohio, and Michigan. The town has one radio station, WLKI. For years, the most popular radio program was the morning show, broadcast from 5:00-9:00 AM every weekday morning. The radio host was an extremely likeable, middle-aged guy named Andy St. John. Andy was from Fort Wayne, Indiana, just down Interstate 69 from Angola, and he had worked at WLKI for a number of years. Andy was very active in the local community, participating in and supporting events such as the Fourth of July parade and an annual bowling roll-off to benefit local charities. Andy’s partner on the morning show was the WLKI newsman, a gentleman named Jim Measel. Andy and Jim got along well on the radio, often joking with and teasing one another. Jim liked to tease Andy about being bald. Andy would tease Jim about his golf game. They were a good pair, and everyone enjoyed listening to them in the mornings while having breakfast and getting ready for work and school. They called the program simply The Morning Show.

Sometime in 2008, the radio station was sold. The local businessman who had owned and operated the station decided to retire. The station was bought by a group of businessmen who owned a series of other radio stations in the tristate area. A new, young man took over as the manager of the station. Not long after that, we began to realize that the new ownership was intent on making some highly significant changes to the station’s so- called format. Almost overnight, the music heard on the station changed. The station proudly proclaimed with numerous on-air announcements that the listeners would not be hearing the same old music anymore. The ads stated that listeners would be the first to hear new releases here. Another change that was implemented was a major revision for our dearly beloved Morning Show with Andy and Jim.

With no previous warning at all, Andy was suddenly replaced by a much younger morning host. He mentioned one morning that he was in his late thirties. The station’s Web site indicated that he was from Virginia. Rather than the good mix of music that Andy used to play, listeners were now subjected to more of the popular hip-hop and modern rock. The program was even given a new name: henceforth it would be called The Breakfast Club. Although Jim was retained for this new and improved morning show format, all he did was a short newscast every half hour. There was no more banter back and forth between Jim and this new guy. Although unstated, it was obvious to listeners that Jim did not feel any rapport with the new morning host. The new station manager decided that the morning show emphasis would be changed to focus on younger listeners. This young host seemed to be trying to mimic the popular TV and radio host Ryan Seacrest. Rather than focus on local events and happenings in the area and at the university, as Andy and Jim had done, the new guy kept us updated on the latest things going on, such as the popular TV show American Idol. He also felt the need to give the listeners in the morning a complete rundown on the TV programming scheduled for that night. I thought to myself that he was encouraging listeners to watch TV in the evenings rather than listen to WLKI!

Well, as you might expect, people who had grown up with Andy and Jim on the very popular WLKI morning show were not excited about the new manager changing their show. Their attitude was probably something like mine, and I said to my wife, "If we are interested in what is happening on American Idol, we will simply watch it. We do not need a five-minute summary on the latest bickering among the judges! I am convinced that the new station manager had managed to upset and alienate many of his loyal morning show listeners with these changes. When I very respectfully questioned him via e-mail about these changes, he bluntly told me to find another station! This is an excellent example of a decision by the new management that made no sense. I am reminded of the old adage, If it is not broken, do not try to fix it." The Morning Show with the team of Andy and Jim was the most popular and successful program on the radio, with thousands of highly satisfied listeners tuning in every weekday morning. Why change something that was so successful?

CHAPTER 2

TELEPHONE SERVICE

In 1966, I made a Mediterranean cruise as a naval officer on a guided missile frigate. We made several ports of call, including Naples, Italy. One day I went to the United Services Organization (USO) in Naples to try to make a telephone call back to the United States. After making the call with some assistance from one of the nice ladies working at the USO, she gave me a little information about the phone service in Italy. She explained how fortunate we were in the United States to have the best telephone service in the world. In Italy, families had to wait up to six months or longer to get telephone service in their homes. She said that the cost was so high that most Italian families could not afford a phone. The connections were so poor that it was often hard to understand what the other person said. I left the USO that day thinking how fortunate we are as Americans to be able to get high-quality, reasonably priced telephone service from the American Telephone & Telegraph Corporation (AT&T).

Little did I know at that time that a few years later our government would make radical changes in our telephone system. By 1984, the government had decided that AT&T could no longer operate and control our nation’s telephone systems. AT&T was essentially broken up into smaller companies called regional bells. These regional companies eventually evolved into such companies as Verizon Communications Inc., Qwest Communications International, and a whole host of other new players. AT&T was no longer the nation’s foremost telephone communication provider.

By 1996, the government began intervening once again in the telephone industry with the passing of something called the Telecom Act. The objective of this legislation was to make the entire telecommunications industry more competitive. It essentially destroyed the once-powerful AT&T. Analysts today argue among themselves as to whether