The Smile

By A. R. Easterling

This is a story of love. Love, which is the same no matter the soul's shell. No one should have to be ashamed of the people they love as we are all human.

I love you. Who would have ever thought the words which caused me such dread in the past could ever come to sound so beautiful and feel so very wonderful?

Returning to Japan after the loss of his mother, Hitori hopes to start anew. He enters school and longs to make new friends. Quickly, he realizes that friendship will not be the only thing he finds.

Befriending a quiet classmate, Hitori finds himself falling hopelessly in love. Akaya is a shy, quiet boy who finds himself stumbling through life, afraid of many things. At first, he is bothered by the outrageous look of the new student. Before long, however, he comes to enjoy the company of the blue haired man and wonders how he made it so long without a friend like Hitori.

As their friendship blossoms then turns to love, the boys have to learn to ignore harsh words from school, society and family alike. Despite this, their love grows and soon they realize soul mates really do exist.

The sun shines brighter than ever before and the nights aren't nearly as cold as they once were. Love has finally warmed the two distraught souls and created an illusion of serenity.

As seasons change, the boys continue to defy society and become something magical. But upon receiving horrible news from his mother, everything in Akaya's life changes. When a time limit is placed on their love, the boys fight to make their remaining time together something meaningful. Love becomes their whole life as they realize they may not get the fairytale ending to their relationship.

Without him I am like a book ripped in half. Without the beginning, you would surely be confused and without the end you will never be fulfilled.

What could tear these two apart? After fighting past societal norms, school bullying, and angry parents, what could finally break them apart?

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jul 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781440105432

Book preview

The Smile

A. R. Easterling

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THE SMILE

Copyright © 2015 A. R. Easterling.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

iUniverse

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4401-0542-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4401-0543-2 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 07/29/2015

CONTENTS

Chapter 1 Fear

Chapter 2 School

Chapter 3 Love

Chapter 4 Hello

Chapter 5 Work

Chapter 6 English

Chapter 7 Kittens

Chapter 8 Questions

Chapter 9 Anxiety

Chapter 10 Reacquainted

Chapter 11 White Day

Chapter 12 Money

Chapter 13 Surprise

Chapter 14 Birthday

Chapter 15 Nightmare

Chapter 16 Realization

Chapter 17 Tribulations

Chapter 18 Jealousy

Chapter 19 Modeling

Chapter 20 Impatience

Chapter 21 Happy Tears

Chapter 22 Suppuration

Chapter 23 Tricks

Chapter 24 Treats

Chapter 25 Heartbeat

Chapter 26 Truth

Chapter 27 Away

Chapter 28 Flying

Chapter 29 America

Chapter 30 New York

Chapter 31 Unthinkable

Chapter 32 Fun

Chapter 33 Water

Chapter 34 Passion

Chapter 35 Numb

Chapter 36 Frightened

Chapter 37 Crying

Chapter 38 Pictures

Chapter 39 Heaven

Chapter 40 Hell

Chapter 41 Fear

Dedicated to:

My mother, who has always been there for me.

And to those who understand that all love is love,

despite gender, race, or anything else.

CHAPTER 1

Fear

Dangling at the edge of a brick building- labeled with only a sign sporting a neon Bengal tiger- sits a tall, blue haired Asian teenager. He is suspended several stories above the city.

His piercing blue eyes soak in the beauty of the small Japanese town where he now lives, the quiet town resting its roots but miles from the city in which he works. His ocean colored eyes, viciously toned body and melodic voice tell a story of fearlessness.

"There are things I’ve learned over the years. Listen to me and you might learn it too.

"To truly enjoy life, you must never be afraid to live. You cannot panic when others disapprove of your actions. I believe people spend too much time on ‘what ifs,’ and let priceless opportunities pass by. Fear makes people worry about things that cannot be changed. It’s nothing but an oppressive obstacle preventing the fulfillment of dreams."

Peering dangerously over the bustling city of Otsu below, he notices cherry blossoms beginning to open releasing their sweet, familiar fragrance near the small manicured pond where several golden-orange coy gracefully dance under the clear glassy surface. Though the blossoms only last for a few weeks, their beauty is unparalleled. Pausing for a long couple of minutes to take in the splendor of the moment, he becomes hypnotized by the rhythmic shifting and swaying of the Pacific Ocean. Feeling therapeutically relaxed, he almost loses his footing, only the calls of the nearby White-eyes stir his attention. His face remains calm and relaxed but his eyes intensely search the land below. Quietly and slowly his tender voice resumes.

"Me?

I don’t feel fear. As a young boy, nothing scared me, not guns, blades, harsh words, not even death. There is nothing that frightens me. Because of this, I have done things no one else would think of trying. I have found these adventures were the times I felt most alive.

Tottering like a tightrope walker on the edge of the five-story building, his mind wanders while scanning the city beyond. He playfully shifts his feet back and forth among the edge, as if doing a dance of will against the wind. His converse clad feet seem steady beyond their capabilities, holding up the boy despite the breeze picking up.

Over the horizon, Kyoto’s shrines will be busy, surrounded by demanding spring tourists at this time of the day. The afternoon sun is shining beautifully and the air is warm. It is the perfect day for sightseeing.

"What is fear anyway? Are we taught how to be afraid, or does it just happen? Perhaps we are, perhaps we aren’t. I don’t really know. Maybe it’s simply a natural human instinct. Either way, people should push fear aside and find out what it is like to really live. Maybe, just maybe, they would try something new…they could begin to feel things again…and really feel alive. If people stopped letting society dictate to them what is right, what is wrong and simply made their own decisions for once, life might just be more rewarding!"

"I am Kazuko Hitori. My friends in America just call me Hitori. Tomorrow, I will be a junior in Nishidako high school. It feels so anomalous to be back in Japan after seven years of abstinence. Seven years seems like a world, and an eternity away now.

"I feel sure no one I once knew then will recognize me today.

"Seven years ago, I was a cute but chubby part-Asian, part-American lad. I had a round, full face with passionate blue eyes; obviously inherited from my father. Like most Japanese children, I tried not to draw attention to myself, wearing only the traditional unassuming clothes and uniforms expected of Asian students. My once silky dark brown hair hung loosely around my pudgy Asian face but was always a tint lighter than anyone else in my classes reminding everyone that I was different.

"My blue eyes may be the only thing that has not changed over the years. Today, my hair, cobalt blue only interrupted with three black stripes, screams… LOOK AT ME! Several visible piercings adorn my portrait including a hoop in my lower lip, one in the left eyebrow and an assortment of piercings lining both ears. I pay special attention to my clothes these days, believing any and all store bought-clothes absolutely must be modified before being worn.

"Traditional school uniforms seem a joke to me now. Each shirt and jacket collar is now carefully re-worked by hand in order to insure they hang differently than my classmates. The required red tie is adorned with several safety pins for variety and amusement. Long sleeves absolutely must be rolled up and pinned back with extremely large decorative pins…like the ones meant for pinning kilts closed. My belt, purchased in America, serves two purposes. First, as a bottle opener and, second, as instructions for my date. It is a large buckle in the shape of a beer bottle opener with the words open here engraved on it. Around my neck are two necklaces I will never be caught without. One is a highly polished silver medallion while the other consists of a combination of silver and hematite chains twisted together, both hang perfectly in the hollow of my neck above the v-shaped neck opening of my shirt."

Taking a deep breath before continuing, Hitori scratches the back of his head, and wrinkles his brow as unpleasant memories creep into his mind.

"Passing the NWEA tests in America was a challenge, but in Japan, other things will surely be more of a challenge. Administration allowing me to attend school with blue hair, piercings and a modified uniform… Well, that alone will be a battle. Authorities in Japan do not take kindly to individuality and will instantly blame it on the ‘uncivilized inbreeding’ of the American culture.

I just hope my first day of school will be relatively uneventful and without much trouble. My hopes are to make some new friends and possibly reunite with some old ones. While the latter is doubtful, I take pleasure in the thought all the same.

Now, only ten paces before him is a large teal painted door surrounded by tiny mosaic tile, both show wear from years of use and neglect. Hitori opens the door and returns to the world he knows, breaking free from his entrancement.

CHAPTER 2

School

We have a new student today. Kazuko Hitori has just returned from America, the teacher announces. The announcement seems pointless since Hitori’s appearance is far from the usual. Some of you may remember him from a few years back. Please greet him kindly.

Hitori takes a seat in the only open space left in the homeroom class. The arrangement of the desks is familiar to those in American classrooms. Rows of desks are perfectly straight, lined up like soldiers pointing one direction. However, the floors are certainly cleaner than American schools. Japanese students take great pride in their environment. Likewise, the desks are clean and contain little or no markings upon them, a rare commodity in American high schools. Hitori slips into a desk in the last row, making it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand which is simply filling out the required personal information on the index card his teacher handed him. It has been many years since he has written in Japanese. Ironically, it seems almost like a foreign language now. The teacher, Mrs. Nagae, explains the card should contain the usual, name, phone number, address, email address, emergency contacts and medical information.

Excuse me, Sensei? Hitori calls out.

Yes, Kazuko? Mrs. Nagae responds without looking from her clipboard of important papers. Hitori notices she is a beautiful young teacher and has already discovered that many of the students seem to prefer her to their other instructors. Mrs. Nagae is a little unconventional in her pedagogical approach, typically fun and upbeat. Her long, straight black hair falls gracefully down her back held in place with a brilliant yellow headband leaving only the bangs to frame her perfectly manicured face. The finishing touch is a pair of thin, black rimmed glasses casually placed upon her slender nose.

I don’t know my phone number or address yet. He announces without the slightest bit of embarrassment. A couple of students look at each other and unassumingly roll their eyes before letting out a quiet chuckle.

Peeking over the rim of her glasses with a filtered smile on her face, she responds, just fill out the information you know and we will get the rest at another time.

The remaining time in the class seems to drag on endlessly. When the bell finally gongs, Hitori meanders out of his seat and stretches before moving to his next class. Girls swarm him as he moves through the halls, quizzing him before entering their next class.

What was your name again?

You’re a junior, right?

Do you have a girlfriend?

They quickly blurt out question after question in their high-pitched Asian voices as if they feared Hitori might vanish or be reprimanded by the teacher. Without fault, Hitori tries to answer some of the questions. He holds his books in one hand, propping them against his hips then scratches the back of his head with a grin. Taking one large breath, he finally speaks:

My name is Kazuko Hitori. Just call me Hitori. I’m a junior and I don’t have a girlfriend. I think class is about to begin.

All day, Hitori senses he is being circumspectly scrutinized by everyone, both male and female, student and teacher alike. The ladies observe his now well-defined, muscular body and his mysterious, cool demeanor. The guys watch, hoping to find fault in what seems to be an ideal girl magnet in their domain. Teachers carefully observe, hoping and waiting for him to screw up so they have an excuse to tell him to fix his uniform and get rid of his unruly hair. Despite all of the scrutiny, Hitori skates through the first four classes with ease and has a good - albeit anything but lonely - lunch, before proceeding to his final two classes of the day.

His fifth hour is English, a class he feels very confident about attending. He knows probably the same amount of English, if not more, than his Japanese teacher. As the teacher explains the lesson for the day, Hitori takes this time to examine his classmates on his own terms. He notices most of the faces look familiar. Many of the girls in class were the ones who bombarded him with questions only hours before. However, one face in the back of the room managed to capture his attention more than anyone else. This tiny, timid face sparked his curiosity, perhaps more than it should have.

The face-like mask belongs to a timorous young man desperate to hide his shyness. His classic hair style falls just past his chin grouped in a controlled disaster of loose, messy locks. Hitori is puzzled why this boy allows his would-be perfect, black hair to be in such disarray. Hiding beneath the veil of black hair are two distant and mysterious ebony eyes. This unkempt boy appears younger than the others because of his unusually petite frame. There is something else about the boy’s face that captivates Hitori though he cannot quite place what it is.

Kazuko. Would you please read the first paragraph on page one hundred eleven for us?

He was caught daydreaming and ignoring Mrs. Nagae’s directions. The other students snicker as they wait, knowing the paragraph contains many difficult and hard-to- pronounce American words.

In English?

Yes. Please.

In perfect English he begins:

English has a different grammatical structure than that of Japanese…

CHAPTER 3

Love

In many ways this reticent boy is strikingly similar to the other guys in class. He has the same hair color, same dark brown eyes and wears the traditional school attire without question. Perhaps not easily noticed – as he does not often smile or speak – this boy, like many of his classmates, also doesn’t have perfectly straight teeth. The big difference? He is short. This boy stands – more often than not – even shorter than the females in his class. And his thick black hair has a life of its own, dragging past his chin nearly shielding his unassuming eyes. What makes him most different, however, is his absolute lack of confidence. Fear seems to consume him. Absolutely everything makes him afraid.

The introverted student whispers to no one specific, I didn’t know administration allowed students to have blue hair in this school. Nor did I think you were allowed to change the uniform. He is surrounded by a sea of exposed books, each one opened; all daring him to study for the university entrance exams.

Oh well. I don’t worry about those kinds of things. The flustered teen is surprised how in only one day a person can become the most popular in school. Girls followed Hitori everywhere, calling out Kazuko-san, Kazuko-kun and Kazuko-senpai, flattering him with compliments and attempting to entice his attention for dates. Oddly, he appeared uninterested and turned each of them down. Even when the most popular of the women approached him, Hitori seemed to think little of their attention. It was rumored in the P.E class he told everyone he had practiced the art of Kendo since he was five years old. Most of the guys did not believe him, challenging him to prove his words. His valor was strong as he won each battle without even breaking a sweat. The quick matches earned the respect of many of the guys. Numerous classmates ended up asking for pointers after their fight.

Despite his appearance, Hitori’s gentle mannerisms won many people over, including teachers and the enigmatic young man in the back with messy hair.

The furtive boy’s voice is gentle and barely audible specifically drawing attention to his blushing face as if listeners strain to hear his words. Books, however, are his only audience. His onyx eyes quickly dart over the words in the book he is reading. His soft pink lips silently mouthing the words found in the pages.

After English class, Hitori had greeted the timid boy with a boisterous, hello.

"I don’t know if he was trying to befriend me, or if he was surprised because I might have been the only person in the entire school who had not pestered him all day. I returned his acknowledgment with a silent nod and then hurried past him to my last class of the day.

The new kid and I are so different. I wonder why he would even want to talk to me. He’s popular and confident already. Girls clearly find him attractive. Guys think he’s cool. Teachers don’t ignore him. Why would someone like him decide I’m worth talking to?

Taking a moment to find composure, the secretive boy finally introduces himself.

"I’m Yamara Akaya. The shortest and youngest member of the junior class. I have been teased mercilessly about my height so I rarely talk to anyone anymore. Because I don’t say much, everyone acts like I don’t exist. So why would he decide to bother me of all people?"

Despite having returned home, Akaya has not changed; his school uniform is perfectly clean, spotless in fact, while his hair is a managed mess. In a placid tone, Akaya continues speaking:

I never liked the attention I use to get from everyone. I find it uncomfortable meeting new people since I am so shy. I mean, I’m pretty much scared of everything…but friendship and love are by far the most intimidating. Yep. I’m afraid of love. Sure, I’ve had people tell me neither of those should be something to fear…but I have my reasons.

After his brief monologue, Akaya turns away and stuffs his nose in a notebook forcing himself to study. Without looking up he blurts one last comment.

People have reasons for everything.

CHAPTER 4

Hello

The next few days of school continue much like the first. Girls carry on pining for Hitori’s attention in hopes of a date while the guys seem to relax, glad to see Hitori is not trying to steal their women. Day by day, the students begin to lose interest in him all together. Soon friends replace the acquaintances as faces eventually fade from Hitori’s path. Impressed with his good behavior and his kind-mannered spirit, despite his unwillingness to change his appearance, administration and teachers accept him and are pleased with his performance in school.

Hitori is not fazed by those around him and continues to act the same as always. A smile is constantly transfixed on his face. He remains calm and laid-back even when people drive him crazy or get on his last nerve. Although still thought of as the unusual new guy, there is an air of confidence about Hitori. Common mishaps that would embarrass other students such as messing up a sentence in class, or being made a fool of by someone, instead of blushing or becoming flustered, Hitori coolly laughs and carries on as if nothing even happened.

Akaya silently sits in the background of Hitori’s world oppressing his private envy. Envy for attention, his confidence, that irritatingly perfect smile and for his total lack of fear. In fact, Akaya carefully studies Hitori’s every move as he had yet to find anything Hitori really feared. He watches how serenely Hitori addresses some people and it does not matter who they are or what they do. Ironically, Akaya is the one person who knows everyone’s name and never utters a single word to any of them. He likes to study people and probably knows more about those he observes than they know about themselves, unlike Hitori who knows no one’s name but talks to everyone regardless.

The dreaded lunch bell sounds as Akaya slowly lifts himself from his desk and bids the customary farewell to his teacher and classmates. Proceeding through the usually short lunch period, he tries to disappear among the sea of other students as he carefully walks, cautiously creeping through the crowd as to not make eye contact or catch anyone’s attention as he slinks to his locker to put his things away. Lunch is the worst time of the day for Akaya. He fears the attention of humans, though more than anyone, he fears Hitori’s unsolicited attention. The idea he might be forced to communicate with him scares him more than anything he has experienced in his short life. Akaya wishes he could pretend he was hard of hearing in order to not have to communicate at all. His biggest fear remains that Hitori will refuse to walk away, not accepting his silence, and forcefully pry words from his unwilling lips.

Without wasting a moment, Akaya melts with the students already in the lunch line. It is loud and alive with laughter and excited talk. Conversations about how someone had irritated this or that teacher during class, or their after-school plans and of Hitori could be heard as he waited. After retrieving his food, Akaya hurries over to his usual spot by the far wall at the very back of the room. It is here he feels safest. Alone. For Akaya, it creates an invisible barrier no one dares to enter, furthermore, this corner is the best place to carefully observe the comings and goings of the other juniors with whom he eats each day, especially Kazuko Hitori.

Laughing and chattering among the swooning girls, the blue-haired Asian enters the room. Curious, but careful to remain unobtrusive, Akaya watches Hitori’s every move while straining his ears to spy into his thoughts. Still, he cannot hear over the usual hustle and bustle of the normal student activity. Without provocation, Hitori suddenly spies Akaya as if he can sense his discerning eyes. As their eyes meet, Hitori waves and strides right through Akaya’s invisible barrier. Akaya feels his pulse race with fear and excitement as his face grows flush with the rush of blood coursing through his veins. Desperately hoping Hitori is not waving at him but rather someone else in the area, Akaya looks around discovering, much to his dismay, that there is no one else near.

The three noisy girls that had been following Hitori become irritated by his lack of interest. They shake their heads because he is now paying more attention to the quiet freak.

Hitori approaches Akaya unaware of his disabling shyness and tries to strike a conversation with the guy he’d found so interesting his first day of school. He had always noticed Akaya’s silence in the school but assumed it was simply the boy’s way. Hey… you left so fast the other day that I didn’t get to catch your name. I am Hitori…and you?

The tallest and loudest of the three girls explains to Hitori that little Akaya does not talk much, and is kind of a nut job.

Feeling the redness in his face peak with tension, Akaya keeps his eyes down as he whispers, my name is Yamara Akaya.

Can I just call you Akaya? Hitori asks as he shoos the girls away. Akaya nods his head.

Okay… I’ll catch up with you girls later… I promise. The girls hurry away to eat. They were right. You really don’t talk much, do you? Hitori takes a seat next to Akaya and ruminates about his first day at the school. You know man…On the first day, you were the only person that did not come up to me and bombard me with questions! You know what? He asks. Akaya shrugs to suggest he is listening for the next response. I would have rather talked to you more than to anyone else.

Akaya’s eyes slowly move to focus on Hitori’s face. Still flushed with adrenalin, he tries to mask his redness and fear by taking nervous bites of his sandwich and hiding behind his unruly hair. Despite his efforts, Hitori notices and tries to lighten the tense atmosphere by flashing a toothy smile.

Aww! You’re even cuter when you blush!

Unbearable anxiety becomes more apparent as the color of Akaya’s face turns as crimson as hot tamales. He wonders why Hitori is even interested in talking to him at all. Why didn’t he just go hang out with the girls who actually wanted attention? Choked with panic, Akaya found himself frozen and unable to utter a single word. Especially knowing Hitori might keep picking on him and act a little crazy.

Sorry Akaya. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought since we had the same homeroom, maybe we could get to know each other. Hitori feels relieved and smirks as he notices the girls heading in their direction. I would really like it if we could be friends. I hope you can find a way to feel comfortable enough to talk to me.

Feeling the heat in his face cool, Akaya agrees to the arrangement with a wordless nod in hopes that Hitori will, at last, leave. Feeling his stay had nearly reached its fruition Hitori smiles, good, I would like that! If you want, I could take the girls to the other side of the room so they don’t bother you. Akaya remains silent so Hitori takes this as an invitation to stay. The girls come over with their lunches and sit down. They look from Hitori to Akaya giggling and joking about the deep conversation they must have been having.

It was great, of course. Hitori smiles and watches for Akaya’s cheeks to blush. On cue, the redness creeps over Akaya’s cheeks. Did you know that he is the easiest person ever to make blush? All you have to do is talk to him.

It’s because he’s so shy, states one of the girls flatly.

Hitori nods flicking his hair out of his face. The lassies were so predictable, no challenge, even such a simple action caused them to sigh.

You are so gorgeous, states the tallest of the trio as she adores Hitori. She is an attractive girl with striking features and perfectly groomed eye shadow that draw the right attention to her almond shaped eyes and thin face.

Joking in an effeminate voice, Hitori argues, You are the gorgeous one, not I. Then he continues, We should get together and have a makeover party. It would be loads of fun. I could even do your hair and nails! Trying hard to subdue his laughter before completing the sentence, the stifled mirth finally bust from his gut. His confidence and lighthearted attitude even makes Akaya smile. Noticing the new found animation on Akaya’s face brought on by Hitori’s playfulness, the girls’ jaws drop. Their reactions cause Akaya to withdraw into himself like a hermit crab into its protective shell.

Just then, the bell rings.

Time to go grab our books… see you girls later!

Continuing with the charade, Hitori gently grabs Akaya’s arm and leads him out of the lunch room, quickly prancing toward the lockers. Once among the others in the hallway, he lets go of Akaya’s arm and blithely laughs again. As he slaps Akaya on the shoulder and smiles, he thanks him for playing along. You really are adorable when you blush. He continues while taking his seat in homeroom. As he moves to his usual back row seat, Akaya’s face is red this time for two reasons, Hitori’s playfulness and his attention.

At the front of the room, the English teacher prepares to start class, announcing a change in assigned seats, moving pupils here and there with Akaya seated right in front and Hitori only a couple of chairs behind. Hitori immediately grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down a note as the rest of the class slip into their new spaces. After folding it into a perfect paper airplane, Hitori sails it threw the air causing it to land abruptly in Akaya’s hair. Akaya grabs the paper and looks back at Hitori, this time with a tortured grimace on his face.

Hey,

You never answered my question, do you mind if I call you Akaya?

What are you doing after school today?

Akaya scrawls a response on a fresh piece of paper, crumples it into a ball and viciously throws it back to Hitori. Realizing he has captured the attention of other students, Akaya blushes and quickly turns back toward his desk. Tearing the note open, Hitori reads simply; I have to work.

Hitori places the note in his pocket as the teacher takes her spot at the front of the room.

Please open your books to page one hundred twenty seven.

Hitori does so and quickly scans over everything they were going to be learning. He lets out a bored sigh. This class is going to be too easy. Blocking out the teachers voice, Hitori looks over at Akaya and notices his sheepish new friend seems to be struggling with the teacher’s instructions. It appears English is not exactly Akaya’s forte.

For the remainder of class, Hitori takes notes and watches Akaya, feeling bad for his shortcomings. He realizes Akaya has probably been struggling with English since he has started and is too shy to ask for help. Hitori makes Akaya his new project. He begins conjuring up ways to help this painfully timid young man. Maybe he will accept some help with his English studies. Hitori smiles at the thought of helping Akaya. After class, Hitori stands and walks over to his new friend then drops his hand on Akaya’s shoulder.

I notice you seem to be having a hard time with English.

Akaya lies as he denies such an absurd idea. Hitori places a hand on his hip, opens the English book to the page they had been working on in class, points promptly and asks Akaya to read the last passage and relay its meaning to him.

Biting his lip from anger and embarrassment, Akaya looks at the page then slams the book closed before glaring at Hitori bitterly stating he does not know.

I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought I might be able to help. I lived in America for several years. I’m fluent and would be willing to help you.

Staring at his shoes, Akaya squeaks out a quick, no thanks.

Suit yourself. Just remember the offer stands if you change your mind.

Moving out of the classroom at the same time, Hitori asks Akaya where he was headed next.

Art.

What do you do in art? Are you any good at it?

Paint. Akaya plainly answers.

I would love to see some of your work sometime if it’s not too much of a hassle. Hitori waits for a response, but does not receive one. Do you have anything I could see today before I head to class?

Akaya nods. He enters the room and walks over to a large wooden cabinet. Without saying a word, he opens the tattered cabinet doors and pulls out a medium sized canvas. Hitori walks over to look at the painting. It is a simple yet adorning portrait of three small kittens cuddling on a plush blue pillow. They are perfectly rendered in amazing detail and so cute that Hitori cannot help but smile. He stands for a moment, admiring the work, finding it hard to hold his hand back from the seemingly smooth fur of one of the kittens.

It’s really good. You’ll have to show me more of your stuff sometime. He pauses. Did you use a photograph or real kittens to look at when you started the painting, or did you use your imagination to come up with the idea?

I had real ones to look at. Noticing the time, Akaya reminds Hitori that he will be late if he does not hurry by pointing to a nearby clock on the wall. Hitori swipes up his things as he runs out the door.

See you around. Have fun at work!

Akaya puts the portrait away and then sits at his easel waiting for class to begin. He sighs and pulls out a fresh canvas, preparing for whatever assignment the teacher would dish out today. He feels relieved to be back in his comfort zone, away from Hitori. Yet, he feels more alone than ever after all the attention Hitori had showered on him. He is not about to confess, not even to himself, that this is the best day of school he has had in quite some time. Secretly, he wished Hitori was in this class too, smiling and joking with him.

CHAPTER 5

Work

Upon leaving school, Akaya heads straight to work, which is a small animal shelter about a mile from the school. On one side of the shelter is a small cluster of tall katsura trees and on the other side is a park. This park is the same splendid park Hitori has become entranced with from atop of the building lit by a glowing tiger sign. The park is beginning to show signs of the changing season. Its cherry trees no longer hold the beautiful blooms but rather are full with lush foliage. The trees are grounded around the border of the man-made pond filled with coy swimming to and fro. A small wooden bridge reaches across the pond leading to a pathway lined with smooth ocean rocks heading into the forest of trees. On many occasions, Akaya notices students walk past the shelter on their way to the park to practice for their favorite sport, or just to sit and study in its tranquil beauty. Akaya wonders if this is a park Hitori will be visiting too.

Awakened by the sound of his boss’s voice, Akaya turns around as the shelter’s owner informs him five new kittens were found in a box in the back alley. Akaya walks toward the back room where they keep new and abandoned animals until they are cleaned and settled into cages. Once in back, Akaya sits down before looking over the kittens.

The silence and isolation Akaya maintains at school disappears at work. Within the white walls plastered with cat and dog toys, pictures of happy families playing with their pets and the perfectly polished wooden floor, Akaya has learned to open up and enjoy himself with his friendly boss since they shared so much time together.

They’re so young. Akaya mutters while picking up the smallest of the five. The kitten is gray with darker smoky stripes and has the same color blue eyes as Hitori.

How was school? His boss, Mei, asks while walking away from the man-made gray stone greeting desk. She had designed much of this building and takes a lot of pride in its existence and decor. Her attention to detail is obvious based on the tidiness of the building despite the many pets that enter and exit on a regular basis.

The new guy, Hitori, decided he wanted to be friends with me today. Akaya says as he strokes the kitten’s head noticing its perfectly triangular ears are tipped with black, and each paw is black from the tips of the toes to the ankles like it is wearing shoes or socks.

There’s a new student at your school?

Yeah, his name’s Kazuko Hitori. The more Akaya looks at this particular kitten, the more he falls in love. He used to live here, but his family moved to America seven years ago. He just came back a few days ago. As he speaks, he gently cleans the tiny ball of fur.

He probably decided to talk to you because you’re quiet and not intimidating. New kids tend to befriend the quietest people first, people most like themselves.

There’s only one problem with that Mei. Akaya explains as he grabs a brush and begins to smooth the kitten’s knotted fur. He’s everything but quiet. Everyone at the school knows who he is. He is probably the most popular guy in school already.

I see. Mei teases as she continues cleaning out some of the other cages. The sleeves of her plaid, button up shirt are rolled up to her elbows avoiding the potential mess waiting to soil her pristine sleeves. Her appearance, as with the shelter, is something she takes much pride in. So why do you think he chose you?

I don’t know. He said it was because I was the only person that had not bothered him, but I really don’t think it’s the real reason.

Why not? Puzzled with his response, she turns around to face him while holding a large cat in one arm and a rag in the other.

Thinking back on the day at school, he mulls over the way Hitori acted around him. Because…he… I don’t know. I think he just seemed to like me for some reason. He thoughtfully admits while lovingly placing the kitten into a large plastic cage.

I am not sure what you are saying exactly. Do you think he likes you as a friend or as a boyfriend?

Are you asking me if I think he prefers men to women? Akaya asks as he closes the cage door. The tiny kitten’s meow reminds Akaya not to leave it alone. Maybe. I am not sure yet. Akaya responds as he picks up the next little cat. This one is all black except for two gray paws and a lighter gray star-like shape on its forehead. These kittens are so cute, why would someone leave them to die?

Maybe the owner had the mommy and just couldn’t afford to take care of kittens. Mei responds, Now, what do you mean, maybe?

Well, he has a strange obsession with making me blush. Yet, he is surrounded with girls all the time. He just seems real friendly.

You’re not the hardest person to make blush, you know. Mei declares while pointing toward him playfully.

Yeah, I know. He mumbles as the bell on the front door chatters, letting them both know a customer has entered the store. Mei hurries to the front.

Hello! She chirps merrily as she reaches the front desk. Sorry I wasn’t…

Akaya turns his attention back to cleaning the kittens, tuning out Mei’s voice. He places the second kitten in a cage and continues working on the next one before he realizes Mei’s voice is drawing closer and becoming louder.

We have quite a few cats that are already litter trained. Follow me right this way. She walks into the back room where Akaya is working. As you can see, we just received five new kittens today. Yamara-chan is getting them ready for adoption.

Which of these cats are already litter trained? The customer questions Akaya. Placing the kitten back into the box and standing up, he starts to point out different cats. Before long the customer has found a favorite, a small white cat with bright green eyes and long fur.

Thank you Yamara-chan.

You’re welcome Kawamura-san. Akaya responds. Akaya and Mei have worked together for nearly three years and know that customers prefer store owners and employees to treat each other with mutual respect.

Finishing the final adoption papers for the white cat, Mei raves about Akaya with the female customer. He is very good with the animals. Again, Akaya turns his attention to the kittens before finally tuning out Mei’s voice.

Mei always tried to be extra kind to customers when they adopted animals in hopes they would donate funds to the shelter or buy extra items. Akaya has become accustomed to the way Mei works and is grateful since he is there almost every other day of the week. At the end of the day they split the profits from the sales before going home. There are days when they barely make any money at all, and other days they would both go home with over ten thousand yen.

By the time the customer left, Akaya had already finished grooming all five of the new kittens. He grabs a broom and begins to sweep, cleaning up the cat room than moving to the dog area. Entering the dogs’ space, Akaya notices the difference in the noise level. Even a small amount of barking and kipping dogs are considerably noisier than a whole heard of cats.

Mei’s face gleams as she enters the back room. The lady ended up buying a leash, collar and the cage to go with the cat so you don’t have to worry about putting that one away. I know it’s hard for us to reach the high shelf anyway. Standing a couple inches shorter than Akaya, Mei asks if he had gotten all the new kittens into cages yet.

Yep.

Thanks for your help with the customer. You know I have a hard time remembering which cats are litter trained, as well as which dogs are potty trained. You have a great memory for the small details.

Not a problem. Akaya looks up as he pours the contents of the dust pan into the trash can. Before Mei walks away, Akaya calls out. Hey Mei, Can I ask your opinion on something?

Sure.

Hitori offered to help me with English. Should I let him? Akaya leans against the broom and turns to face her. The once green apron Akaya adorned was now covered in many varieties of cat hair and his hands now bare several scratches from claws in need of a trim, but his face is serene.

Why not? You need help with English. I would help you but my English isn’t all that great either.

Again the bell on the front door beckons their attention.

I’ll be right there! Mei calls out to the customer before turning back to Akaya. You shouldn’t be so afraid to meet new people. Remember, that is how you got this job. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a new friend in the process. She turns and hurries toward the front of the store. Hello! How may I help you today? Sorry I wasn’t…

Thinking about Mei’s advice, Akaya puts the broom away and sighs. Perhaps she is right. By talking to Mei at the cafe down the road, he’d gotten this great job. Maybe if he just gives Hitori a try he will discover he can be a great friend too. Akaya nods.

Deciding at that moment he is going to take up Hitori’s offer, Akaya takes a deep breath. He will accept the English lessons and let Hitori be his tutor.

CHAPTER 6

English

Akaya, wake up! It’s time for school! You’re going to be late! His mother calls from downstairs.

Prying his eyes open and slowly lifting up, Akaya is reluctant to escape the warmth of his bed. He had not slept very well the previous night. Halfheartedly, he sits up and pauses before standing to stretch. Today, he will suggest to his parents the idea of an English tutor to help him with his studies. Akaya has a sneaking suspicion Hitori will want to study over at his house. Even if he didn’t, his parents would never allow him to study anywhere else. After a couple of rigorous stretches he grabs a clean uniform and dresses for school.

Akaya are you up? His mother calls again.

Yes. Akaya responds as he pulls on a fresh pair of socks, grabs his backpack and hurries down stairs. His mother has a bowl of rice ready. Akaya eats it and is filled quickly.

Mom. Spoken through clenched teeth, Akaya addresses the absent minded mother. As he rinses his dish, he looks back to see her stabbing at her rice.

Yes? She responds without looking up from the bowl of white before her. Seeing such a look of nothingness upon her face is nothing new. Many times, Akaya has wondered if she had more than two emotions. Natsuko, his mother, often acted in one of two ways anger or nihility. Rarely did he see her cry and perhaps even more rarely did a smile grace her old, tired face.

Someone at school offered to help me with my English studies, the statement seems to drop short of what he has been thinking. As he shucks his heavy backpack over his shoulder, Akaya grinds his teeth, impatiently awaiting a response. Mockingly, the clock on the wall ticks loudly, to emphasize the passage of time.

That’s great so long as you are going to be studying here. She says at last, placing her chopsticks on the napkin beside her bowl. Looking up to her son, Natsuko’s eyes seem to burn straight into Akaya and past him into the void.

I’m sure we will. I will ask him today. Akaya continues, He’s really nice. With his shoes now on, Akaya scoots his feet across the floor. These shoes were newer, bought as a special gift at the start of his junior year. Noticing a scuff on one side of his sole, Akaya rubbed at it as his mother sits silently.

Do I know him? She barks at last. Rolling his eyes, Akaya stands up.

No. He just moved back here from America a little while ago. Akaya answers, pretending his mother might know anyone with whom he went to school. His mother rarely left the house, and when she did, it was to go to work. Perhaps some years ago, before Akaya could remember, his mother might have been social. But social is far from what she is today.

That must be why he is so good at English then. She proudly announces in a matter-of-fact tone. Natsuko stands from the table then and walks to the sink. Though she has hardly eaten any of her rice, she pours it out and cleans the bowl.

Yeah. I need to go or I will be late for school. See you after work. Use to his mother’s unusual antics, Akaya kicks his shoes on the front step before finally grabbing the doorknob.

Bye.

Akaya’s parents have recently been having some financial problems and had to sell one of their cars, making getting places much more difficult. They even sold Akaya’s bike which leaves him with no choice but to walk to school. Akaya likes walking because it gives him time to relax and reflect. The usual thoughts filling Akaya’s mind on the way to school are that of the previous day’s assignments. He would go over the concepts presented and quiz himself on the given material. Today however, his mind is not filled with school subjects or homework but rather with the fear and excitement of talking to Hitori. He questions if he has the courage to ask for help with his English studies. Being so uncomfortable talking to people, he finds it nearly impossible to open up if others are around. He knows Hitori will never be alone. He never is. Akaya is envious of Hitori’s ability to socialize and wonders if Hitori really understands how painfully reserved he is.

The sound of girlish chatter and loud music filters into Akaya’s ears suggesting school is around the corner. Continuing to reflect on the mental process of the right way to approach Hitori, Akaya starts charting in his mind the schedule of his day. If he can just make it through the first four classes, lunch will be the best time to approach Hitori. That would be the best time to tell him he has changed his mind and would take him up on the offer of helping with his English studies.

During first hour, Akaya struggles to take lecture notes because his mind and thoughts drift toward preparing himself for talking to Hitori during lunch. Fear grips his gut, making him feel sick. Half of his class notes were incomplete because of being so lost in his thoughts. He has nearly forgotten what he is supposed to be doing altogether.

As Akaya glides through the water in gym class second hour, he allows his thoughts to flow freely. Silently, he goes over various scenarios about approaching Hitori. He wonders if Hitori is a good swimmer. The blue haired teen appears to be good at nearly everything. Akaya allows his fears to take over during math class, his stomach becomes sick with panic as sweat begins to bead upon his forehead. He feels like he needs to get some water, or maybe go to the restroom. But, he has never asked to leave class before…what would his teacher think? Maybe he will just wait to talk to Hitori. Wait till they could be alone. He wonders how he would even have the nerve to ask for help, let alone invite him to help him on his own.

Only one hour left before lunch. Akaya has a lab in science today and cannot allow himself to be absentminded. Being busy in science class is a good distraction from his obsessive thoughts. It calms the wrenching pain in his stomach. Knowing how timid Akaya is, his teacher takes pity on him and allows him to work alone while everyone else works in pairs. Finishing before everyone else, Akaya wonders if the lab was very simple, or if he had finished early due to the adrenaline pulsing through his veins. Time has now become his enemy, allowing thoughts to target his mind and arouse the pangs in his stomach. He knows he is talking himself out of the impending confrontation with Hitori and his groupies. Considering the possibility of writing Hitori a note instead of talking to him at all temporarily calms the butterflies in his stomach thus making him feel a little more relaxed. It isn’t until the bell rings that it occurs to Akaya he had been thinking of Hitori for four straight hours.

When the lunch bell sounds, it is as if a bomb has gone off. Akaya starts to panic before he reaches the lunch room. Blocking out the usual student noises, he finds himself hidden among the other faces in the halls. His feet move forward as he tries to ignore the nearby students, and the pounding of his heart in his chest. Before Akaya can make it to the safety of his veiled corner, he hears Hitori call out to him.

Aka-chan!

Akaya’s face wrinkles in torment and feverish lament as beads of perspiration form on his redder-than-apples cheeks. Some of the students notice and start to point and laugh. He cannot bring himself to turn around and face Hitori. So he pretends he does not hear him and continues to move closer to the safety beyond his invisible barrier. He feels if he can get there, he might be okay and not pass out.

Akaya ignores the degrading remarks, knowing the translation of aka-chan into English means baby. Obviously more than just one or two of the other students know that too, laughing harder as Hitori repeats it again and again. This is not something you want a friend screaming out in school, especially when you are shy and a mere 148 centimeters tall such as Akaya.

Aka-chan! Wait up! Hitori calls out again, this time a little quieter than the first as he runs to catch up. He approaches Akaya just as he places his lunch on his desk. When he sees Akaya’s face, Hitori covers his mouth with dismay. Oh! I’m so sorry. I forget you are so shy.

Do not call me Aka-chan while I’m at school. It’s embarrassing. Akaya mutters flatly.

I am so sorry. Not a problem. Hitori apologizes. Could you possibly come to my locker with me? He asks. Picking up his lunch again, Akaya looks hard at Hitori then nods. The two of them move through the halls in silence. Some students continue to greet Hitori, asking questions before giving their brief hellos. It seems everyone has become accustom to Hitori’s blue hair, piercing eyes and atypical uniform. Walking beside Hitori allows Akaya the opportunity to examine his extraordinary appearance. He notices Hitori has more piercings on his right ear than his left, and admires the two silver necklaces around his neck. With a cocked head, he wonders if the charms have any significance, or if they are just a part of his overall look. One medallion has an elaborate dragon pictured on its surface while the other is much simpler, a silver chain entwined with a black one. Hitori notices Akaya’s stare. I got the dragon from my mom a year before she died. The silver and black one is supposed to stand for all of the good and evil on the earth. My mom gave me that one only a few hours before she passed.

I’m so sorry about your mom. What happened? Sadness and disbelief in his voice, Akaya finds it difficult to understand how a mother could be taken away at such a young age.

She had cancer. Which is why we moved to America in the first place. The tone in Hitori’s voice changes suddenly. Normally chipper and animated, the words drop from his lips quietly. America had better hospitals and treatments. Not long after we got there, the doctors said her cancer had spread and she needed specialists who would try experimental treatments. His blue irises look to the ground, watching the tile under his feet as he speaks. Beside him, Akaya feels his pulse rising from immense guilt. The only hospital willing to take her case was in Texas. Do you know where Texas is in America? Hitori questions his silently guilty friend as he pulls his lunch from the locker. Akaya nods as he solemnly awaits the rest of the story. We moved from New York to Texas and mom stayed in that hospital for another two years. Finally, when she knew her time was drawing to an end and she admitted it was only a matter of hours, or maybe a few painful days before she would not be able to carry on. With a deep breath, Hitori rubs the back of his neck as he slowly closes the locker door. For a moment, he leans on the cool metal there, unable to hide the sadness in his eyes. They let us take her home so she would be more comfortable. The doctors arranged for us to take a family trip to Disneyland. Hitori’s eyes water as he turns away to walk down the hallway. With a tight grip on his school supplies, he continues speaking in a choked voice, only two short days after we brought her home…she died. As they walk back to the classroom, Hitori continues his story. Dad said she didn’t suffer and passed in her sleep. The blue eyes become glossy as he remembers those painful final days. I couldn’t believe it because I knew how much she suffered from the treatments and how she longed to live. I believe she died with her eyes open, looking at dad, missing the two of us already unable to talk. After swallowing a lump in his throat, Hitori continues, My mom is buried in New York. That’s where Dad grew up as a child and where we lived most of my childhood. He thought it would be best. My dad stayed in America. I think he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving my mom. I thought I would stay too, but I had to leave to get away from the sadness and pain. Shaking his head, Hitori finally forces a smile onto his downtrodden face. I thought if I moved back to Japan I could start fresh, become someone new and be able to remember my mom when she was alive.

Who do you live with? Are you by yourself?

Yeah, I am here on my own. My apartment is kind of lonely and really quiet. I was thinking about getting a pet, maybe a cat or dog, just something to keep me company. After rubbing his eye to shoo away the tears, Hitori smirks. You know, my dad never calls. He says it is too expensive to call me overseas, but I think he can’t bear talking to me because I remind him of her.

I bet you’re really lonesome. Akaya sighs as his eyes look down toward the ground, imagining how hard it must be for a man of such character to live utterly alone.

I doubt it would bother you much since you seem to like being alone. It is quite a big change for me though. In such empty silence. Hitori admits with raised eyebrows and a gentle nod of his head. He despises admitting the hatred he often feels for the quiet home, but the walls are just too quiet for him. School is a far more enjoyable place as his mind can be more easily distracted this way.

I don’t know. I have always lived with my parents. I talk with them and they are company. I don’t know if I would like being that alone either.

You know, this is the most I have ever heard you talk since we met. You have a nice voice. You should use it more often. Hitori whispers while looking at Akaya knowing a compliment will make Akaya turn red as usual. And it does. So, did you think about my offer? Hitori questions, you know, about me helping you with your English. Though he is honestly curious, Hitori also desperately wants to get his mind off the thoughts of losing his mother such a short time ago.

Yeah. Akaya responds softly, with a hand on his cheek. He has seen the look in Hitori’s eyes, one that did not often grace the typically sparkling irises. The sadness there wells within the watery pools for only a moment, but Akaya has seen it. Feeling guilty, Akaya forgets his fear of speaking and allows his words to flow a bit more freely.

Did you change your mind? Hitori lifts his books from his shoulder, back to his waist, attempting to stretch his muscles. Studying is not something Hitori particularly enjoys. Street smarts, common sense and physical activity is where his interests lie. Knowing things like calculus and geometry frustrates him as he cannot help but wonder why he will ever need to know such backward ways of working.

I did actually. Akaya admits. Hitori lights up like a new star before pulling his books close to his chest. His brilliant smile flashes before the new-found friend.

Really?! That would be awesome! I’m absolutely glad to help. Glancing at his phone, Hitori puts a finger to his lips before asking, Can we start today?

Sure, today would be good. Akaya nods as a slight blush returns to his face. He never imagined someone actually wanting to help him. To see someone so pleased with his company makes Akaya’s heart fill with joy, though he didn’t dare to show it just yet.

The ringing bell reminds them lunch is over.

I have Kendo practice until three thirty. Hitori bounces on his toes while cracking his neck as the thought of releasing some pent up energy excites him. Do you want to wait for me, or can I just meet you somewhere to study? He smacks his book then gasps wondering, Your place, or mine? He points to the left then to the right while he speaks, as if he knows where Akaya lives.

Mine. My mom can be weird about me being anywhere else. He thinks back to the morning, watching her slowly pour out the slightly undercooked rice from her bowl then shakes his head.

Why? Hitori questions as he tosses his pencil