Frayed [Torn Series]

By Pamela Ann

Things with the already married Harry went sour quickly when she found out their affair had a bigger repercussion. Heartbroken, Trista had to do what was best for everyone. 

Just as planned, she and Lindsey went to visit Emma in Greece. Trista thought this vacation was going to be a way for her to heal and come to terms with the gargantuan mistakes she'd made in the past. 

Taylor Montgomery thought himself a rational man, but meeting the fiery Trista made him think twice. Her mask slipped enough for him to see it, once in a while. She carried pain and secrets hidden within. Her fire mixed with that vulnerability made him want to protect her all the more, but Trista wouldn't have any of it. 

One thing Trista should know about the tenacious man, though. He's not the kind of man who gives up easily. 

Come what may.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pamela Ann
• Release date: Jun 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386073635

Pamela Ann

is a New York Times and USA Today Best Selling Author. She studied Fashion Marketing in United Kingdom and has a degree in Business. She has a penchant for pastries, dogs, renaissance paintings, steamy angst-filled novels and traveling.  Get personal notification through your email when Pamela Ann has something new coming out. Join in on special two-chapter previews for upcoming releases, giveaways, current promos, announcements & more. SUBSCRIBE FOR THE NEWSLETTER HERE: http://eepurl.com/PnuMj YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW HER... Website: http://pamelaannbooks.com Blog: http://pamelaannbooks.blogspot.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pamela.annauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/PamelaAnnAuthor  

Book preview

Prologue

If someone would have told me a year ago that my life would be irrevocably wrecked, I would’ve laughed in their face. You see, I was once a good-natured person. A fun-loving, devil-may-care woman, who laughed a lot and partied until the sun came up.

Yes, I was a party girl. Why? Because it was fun and I had a blast dancing and flirting with guys. Flirting was my thing.

It was my specialty.

Even though I partied, kissed and sometimes ended up doing more with these guys, I never loved any of them. Do I have any qualms about falling in love? No, never that. I always wanted to fall in love, but none of the guys made it happen for me.

Well, at least none of the guys I kissed and hooked-up with, anyway.

That is, until Harry.

Harry was the perfect man.

Unfortunately, he was perfect for my cousin, Harry’s wife, Becka, too.

Yes, Harry’s married… to my cousin.

Did I plan to fall madly in love with him? Never!

But it happened… and there was nothing I could do once it did. I was sucked into this unique world. A world where all I could ever do was follow where my heart would beat at a speedy, exhilarating rate.

I lived for Harry.

I breathed for Harry.

I loved for Harry.

Even though I knew having an affair with him was immoral and, without a doubt, scandalous, I didn’t care. Nothing mattered then. No thought, rhyme or reason could deter me; us.

Once our lips touched, the flames were instantly ignited.

The fire was consuming, searing and hot. If I were a wiser person, I would have known that fire—once it gets out of hand—cannot be controlled.

It spreads, destroying everything it could reach and everything that was in its way.

It devours all with totality.

And sometimes it causes fatality.

I could’ve prevented this devastation if I had not succumbed to the wills of my heart and body.

One kiss was all it took to destroy me.

One gargantuan mistake was all it took to end me.

A month ago, Harry killed me.

But he didn’t know.

No one did.

1

Trista

ABOUT A MONTH AGO

C ongratulations! You’re going to be a new mommy! The enthusiastic, middle-aged doctor announced. I sat there, immobilized and speechless as her words rang in my ears.

"Oh… I am?" I whispered, wholly aghast. Pregnant… with Harry’s baby… The thought alone brought happy and sad tears into my eyes.

The doctor dimmed the lights before she started to prep me for the ultrasound. She was telling me a story about some pregnant woman, but I could barely hear her. Quite simply, I was distraught and horrifically panicked. When the doctor lifted my gown and exposed my belly, she kindly warned me that the gel would be a little cold. I moved my head to the side, away from the small screen, as the realization of what my thoughtless actions had borne with them. Before I knew it, the whole room was surrounded by a loud whooshing sound.

A heartbeat.

My baby’s heartbeat…

Let’s, see. You’re about thirteen weeks, The doctor continued as she started to point on the screen, telling me which part was what.

She pointed out the baby’s head and told me what was developing at this stage. Curious, I made an effort to watch the tiny screen. I barely nodded at her while I stared blankly at the screen, seeing the tiny seed that was my baby, but really not seeing it. How had this happened? We were always careful. Harry always wore protection. Every. Single. Time.

Do you have any questions for me? The jovial doctor asked, while she maneuvered around and studied the screen closely.

Tons, I had so many to ask, but no answers for her to give. I think you’ve explained everything, I responded flatly. This was the worst possible outcome of our affair. All the possible bad scenarios played in my head as the doctor did her own thing. The first one was Harry’s reaction. The second one was the outcome of this pregnancy.

I barely registered what the doctor was talking about as she carefully cleaned my belly off and slowly pulled my gown back to order. While giving me some sort of pregnancy advice, she was jotting down a prescription for my pre-natal vitamins and whatever else she thought I needed. The doctor was rather oblivious to the horrified expression I have had ever since she announced the pregnancy less than an hour ago. When my period didn’t come as scheduled, my intuition pointed towards stress, but never pregnancy.

I was about ready to leave, when the doctor immediately got up and handed me a few of the ultrasound pictures. Here, I forgot to hand these to you. Be safe now and don’t forget to stop by at the pharmacy to get your vitamins. I will see you some time next month at your next appointment, when you’re in your second trimester. She smiled kindly at me, blind to the turmoil I was emotionally going through. Could she not see the sadness in my eyes?

I murmured my thanks without glancing at the pictures before leaving the room. My legs felt like jelly, numbed inside. With utmost determination, I huffed out a deep breath and started to walk out of the medical building. My off-white Mercedes SUV was parked closely. Once I was in the safe confines of my car, I summoned all of my energy to brave it out and look at the ultrasound photos.

The two by two black and white photos stunned me. My finger traced the tiny white form on the picture as tears gathered in my eyes again.

Harry and I were always careful.

What the hell do I tell everyone, most especially my parents? This was going to be a big mess. A mistress with a baby. My mom will die if she finds out her first grandchild is going to be a bastard. She will say it and see it as such.

My thoughts ceased as I heard my phone ring.

Harry.

I wiped my tears away before I took the call. Hey! I tried to sound as normal as I could.

I’m at the hotel. Where are you? I only have a few hours and I want to make use of those hours buried inside you. Harry tried to sound seductive, yet he failed miserably. He used this tone when he was stressed out. I knew for a fact that my cousin Becka was having a hard time with her pregnancy, and she always lashed out at him because of it.

I’ll be there in twenty. See you. I started the engine before I ended the call. For the entire ride, my thoughts provoked me.

Truth be told, I wasn’t sure what Harry would really feel or think. Maybe when he’s made his choice, maybe then, I can allow myself to think what I really feel about the whole pregnancy. Because as of right now, the only feeling I have is indifference—numbness.

I was meeting up with Harry in our usual hideout, in the Four Seasons cottage, always booked every two weeks for two nights. I used to count down the days until he was mine again. Before Becka got pregnant, I used to get two nights with him. In these nights, we were simply a man and a woman, but now, I only get a few hours a week, or a night here and there. I wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t have a say in it. It’s either I end it with him or stick to what he could offer me, and I always chose to be with him. Always.

It took me approximately twenty minutes to get to the hotel. Add another ten to park and walk towards the cottage. I took three calming deep breaths before my finger pushed on the buzzer and the door was opened after only a few seconds.

Harry stood there wearing his grey suit and I paused to drink him in. He looked polished and put together. He was about six feet tall, dark, slicked-back hair with chocolate eyes. His build was on the lean side and he had that roguish sex appeal.

You’re looking at me like you haven’t eaten for days. I promise I will feed you, Trista. Harry laughed as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me thoroughly.

He was right, I was hungry for him. I showed him how much I hungered for him through my kiss. As I pressed my body against his, he made a deep growl against my lips. Harry swiftly pulled us inside without breaking lip contact. It was always like this.

Crazy hunger took me over. It was in charge of my body, and I ached to be with him and only him. He hastily used his foot to shut the door closed. I was moaning against him when he lowered us both to the foyer floor.

Trista… he grunted, still kissing me.

With one hand, he swiftly took care of his pants. I could hear the tear of the condom packet before he brashly lifted my skirt up. His fingers hooked the sides of my thong, pushing it to the side and I buckled when he parted my wet folds; stroking me passionately. It took him less than a minute of foreplay before he was sliding inside me. Harry kept saying my name each time his cock entered me. His lovemaking was hard and fast; like he knew our time was running out and he wanted to get as much as he could from me.

Harry! I sobbed when I felt my release run through my body. On cue, he started to pummel me more. I felt him tense. After a few more hard rough strokes, he came.

He took my lips and kissed me a few more times. I’ve missed you. He smiled at me with love in his eyes. With the back of his finger, he gently stroked my cheek.

I love him so fucking much it hurts.

I think my heart started to crack from then on. That smile he usually gave me—the kind where it showed how much I meant to him—might be the last he’ll ever give me after I tell him the news.

I lovingly looked at him and smiled back. I’ve missed you, too… very much. I started to get choked up, knowing what I was about to tell him would make or break us. Yet, I knew I had to. I had to tell him the lowdown of what happened at the doctor’s office.

Harry softly chuckled against my neck before he started kissing it. He was still buried deep in me, but it was obvious that he was starting to get hard again. I was ready for another round, always. We have to talk… it’s very important… I trailed off as he started to slide in and out of me. Fuck, he felt so good.

Can it wait until after we finish? I can’t help it if I always want you. You’re so beautiful, baby. His hand found my breasts, roughly caressing them. I love these, he rasped out as he started to pick up his pace. I love you. He growled as he went in and out of me.

My betraying body responded to his lovemaking, but I knew I had to do it now. Although the idea of waiting appealed more, I simply couldn’t wait to spill the news any longer. I needed to tell someone, now. It can’t wait… I have to tell you… I paused and shut my eyes, but Harry seemed to be too occupied with his rapid strokes to hear me. I’m… pregnant. I waited a few more seconds for it to dawn on him, but he was still fucking me.

Did he not hear me at all? Goodness gracious!

I’m thirteen weeks pregnant! I yelled at him, loud enough for him to hear me through his labored pants and grunts. That did get his attention.

For fuck sake, are you serious? Harry looked incredulous.

Dead serious. Like I would joke about something like being pregnant? Fucktard!

Yeah, because I have a sick sense of humor, idiot. Of course I’m serious! I spat back at him. He immediately looked stony before he pulled out of me and got up, pacing. As he paced he took care of the condom, throwing it in the trash bin.

Fuck! Fuck! Becka is pregnant! You’re pregnant! Fuck! Becka will kill me. Shit, your entire family will murder me—your father will be the one to stab me first! He purposely knocked the vase on the foyer’s table over before he started to cuss and pace about again.

Granted, I expected him to freak out, though I didn’t see him acting all paranoid. I gathered myself up and fixed my clothes before I walked to where he stood. He needed my reassurance and I needed him to calm down before we could discuss things like rational adults.

"You have to get rid of it. There’s no other way to fix this and solve the problem. That baby will be the end of me—end of us—and my marriage."

Yeah, I was always the second place. I knew that, but it hurt every time he chose to remind me. What if I want to keep it? We could move and live somewhere, just you and me, and our baby. I suggested mildly. The idea never occurred to me before… but now that I think about it, it made perfect sense. I wanted to be with him. I loved him without a doubt, I’d give up everything just to be with him.

Harry glared at me like I suggested the most horrid thing. His dark eyes sliced me in two. Don’t be stupid! I will be taken out of my parents will if I do. I stand to lose more than you do. He inched closer to me, eyes hard. Prove this love you speak so highly of, Trista. If you truly do love me, you will do this for your family and me. I will arrange everything. All I need you to do is say yes.

I stood there frozen. Torn between my child and the man I loved, but deep down, I knew he had a point. My family would disown me. Or, they would hate me and I would never live it down for the rest of my life. The shame, the humiliation that it would bring to my family, would be hard to endure. Harry impregnated cousins, a few months apart. How does one fathom the idea? It was inconceivable.

Give me a few more days to think about it, I murmured not looking at him.

My response got me another menacing glare. You have until Sunday. I will have everything set up the following day to get rid of it. This is fucking serious, Trista. Think of Becka and what this will do to her. If it comes down to it, I will choose my marriage over this. I never wanted this to end, but it’s inevitable now. Harry walked off towards where he left his pants in the foyer. He quickly dressed and stood a few feet behind me.

No, don’t say that… I was crumbling inside, but he didn’t seem to care. My tears flowed and I couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. I was beyond caring. I wanted to scream, yell and reason with him, but his cold-hearted demeanor stopped me. He already made his point clear. His family comes first. I simply couldn’t compete with that.

Expect my call on Sunday. I will not speak to you until then. Harry stood there for another minute before he sighed and walked out of the cottage.

I felt betrayed by him. I understood what I needed to do, but what I couldn’t fathom was his harsh treatment of me. For the very first time, I really felt like a mistress. Harry’s sex puppet, something to be used and abused until it was time to be thrown out.

I had no clue how long I stood there, silently crying. There was no one to blame except me. Being a mistress was always a disadvantage. Every woman knew that. It didn’t stop me, though. The temptation was too hard to resist. Harry’s seduction was difficult to refuse.

At the end of it all, I stood at the losing end. No matter how you looked at it, I was irrevocably defeated.

2

Trista

PRESENT

C arter and I will be there in thirty. You better get your stinky ass ready! Lindsey enthusiastically spoke on the other end.

Yes, Lindsey, anything else?

Yes, doll. Bring your fantabulous self because we’re going to Greece to frolic with hot European men. See ya! Lindsey hung up the phone, but I held it against my ear for another minute before I placed it on the table.

I’m all packed and ready.

This trip was planned a month ago, before Emma left to shoot a film in some private Greek Island. I really was ecstatic that Emma was doing her thing and a month ago, nothing could’ve stopped me from going to see one of my best friends.

But that was a month ago. A couple of days after Emma left, my life crumbled before me.

When I heard a knock on the door, I distractedly went for it. I was momentarily taken aback when I saw Carter standing outside looking fresh out of the shower. So you’re taking us to LAX, huh? I asked while I studied his frowning expression. I liked Carter… back before he broke Emma’s heart.

Yup, where’s your luggage, Tris? He asked glancing about the living room when I let him in.

It’s in my bedroom. Lemme go get it really quick. I strode inside my room and was surprised that Carter followed me.

Okay. I paused and looked at the infamous playboy again. He was acting rather odd. What gives?

I need a favor, Carter murmured out of the blue.

I knew it! He wouldn’t have gone all the way in my room if he didn’t need something. This favor would be about Emma. This douche bag, womanizing jerk wants something and I sure as hell won’t do it. He had caused enough damage to my friend. If this is about Emma, you can forget about it, Carter. Let her go. You’ve done enough damaging shit.

He suddenly looked offended at my unexpected retort. Possibly because I was never mean to him, but when he cheated on my friend in the nastiest way possible, that’s where I drew the line.

Carter handed me a white gift bag. Tris, you know I would never ask you if this wasn’t so important. I love her and I just want you to give this to her.

Carter, I don’t know about this. I bit my lip as I eyed the item he was holding. Whatever was in it, it contained bad juju.

He exhaled a breath as he gripped the bag. Promise, I will owe you one, Tris. Just this once, that’s all I ask. Carter suddenly looked a little unsure. I saw him run his fingers through his hair a few times.

Well, maybe he should’ve thought it through before he decided to get down and do the nasty with Cece, Amanda and her trio of skankerettes. Let it go, Carter. Emma’s doing her thing now. Besides, I don’t want to be on Bass Cole’s bad side, either. I mean they live in the same house… they may even be sharing the same room. Why would I risk that? What’s in the bag anyway?

Carter’s eyes bulged out. Live in the same place? He screeched. FUCK! Fuck! Mother Fucker!

Yeah, buddy, that would be you aiming at yourself.

Sighing, I moved towards my table and got my tote. Let’s go.

When I spun around, I was surprised to see Carter… a little messed up? The hurt was so obvious on his face, I suddenly felt bad for him. Carter? I threw an empty water bottle at his direction.

It went past him. Though his eyes flicked toward it, it didn’t change his state. I huffed out loud and waited for him to snap out of his idiotic, trance-like state. I should be a little considerate. After all, hadn’t I gone through the same crap four weeks ago? Yeah, Carter and I are in the same boat on this one. I guess I should be a little sympathetic.

We were both, after all, cheaters.

Funny, how admitting that now doesn’t hurt any longer. I felt numb inside. I hoped being around my friends would help me get through the hell that I made for myself. How I wished Amber was here. She would help lighten up the mood, her dumbass jokes always worked like charm.

Do you think Bass will be successful this time? Carter asked, breaking my own thoughts.

Carter, LISTEN. The last time… Emma was super, hella, head-over-heels in love with you. After that kinky debauchery you pulled, though, I can’t answer that. Bass and Emma are like fireworks. They spark up and explode. Do you honestly think for a second that for the last month nothing’s been going on? Come on, dude. You’re smarter than that.

Fireworks… how would you describe Em and me, then? Carter looked up and his dark depths caught me off guard. Sure, I grew up with this idiot, BUT I admit… there are times I get caught off guard… speechless… when it comes to his hot-o-meter.

You and Em were like a ticking time bomb… hot and explosive… but it has a limit.

I got her back after Bass almost got to her. I can do it again. He sounded so sure of himself, too. Whatever, dude.

"Sure, now, can we go? I feel weird doing heart to heart with you." That granted me a smile. He begged me again about the stupid gift. Blah.

Fine! If shit hits the fan, I am blaming you, Carter! And you owe me BIG time.

Carter grinned at me sheepishly. Thanks, Tris. I knew I could count on you.

Whatever. Now move your tight ass out of my apartment before your crazy sister starts looking for us.

After five minutes, we were out of my place. Lindsey ran into my arms when she caught sight of me. God! I have missed you, doll! Are you ready to rock and roll with the Greek gods? Lindsey held me tightly, released me and pinched my cheeks.

I admit, seeing my friend again made me feel good inside. I needed some light inside the darkness that I was in. Even a flicker amidst the dark hole was enough to suffice.

Lindsey didn’t say much until we were on the freeway. What was that in the white paper bag? she directed the question to her brother, who just happened to tense up at her unexpected inquiry. I was seated in the back, so I just sat back and watched the siblings interact. I was going to let Carter handle this shit. He was the one who brought the damn thing, not I.

It was nothing, Linds. Stop prying. Carter answered her sharply, telling her that the subject was not open for discussion.

Like that would really shut his sister up.

Better be nothing, Carter. I don’t think I need to mention it again that Emma is better off without you. You fucked up, five times in one go, bro. She’s better off. Lindsey looked at his brother with a determined stare. Carter stuck to driving without glancing at her.

I was sure the man got the point. Linds, that’s enough. I think your brother knows the extent of his fucked-up-ness. We all give him shit for it. I managed to voice out. We were all protective of Emma. Even the guys that we were friends with are all giving Carter shit for it, too. He deserved what he got.

Carter gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. "Emma might be with Bass now, but how long will that last until he dumps her? If you guys think I’m dirt because I get tempted from all the girls that throw themselves at me, then imagine the kind of treatment a Hollywood actor gets. He will end