A Merciful Heart

By Karen Woods

The Orthodox Nuns of Saint Maria Skobtsova's Monastery always strive to acquire merciful hearts, hearts that are remade into the image of God's own heart. St Issac the Syrian taught, "What is a merciful heart? It is a heart on fire for the whole of creation, for humanity, for the birds, for the animals, for demons, and for all that exists. By the recollection of them the eyes of a merciful person pour forth tears in abundance. By the strong and vehement mercy that grips such a person’s heart, and by such great compassion, the heart is humbled."
There is a lot of spiritual work being done by each of them on each of their souls. That's hard, at the best of times. Humility is hard won, especially for a community of nuns who are largely medical doctors and other health care providers.
Harder, now, as the nuns are providing end-of-life care for their much beloved diocesan bishop.
Their normal life in their monastery is all too busy, between their seven plus daily hours of communal prayers, their running several medical, and dental, clinics on the grounds of their monastery, training nursing assistants in their school, raising food in their Community Supported Agriculture program, and providing hospitality to all who come to them asking for meals or shelter.
But all the activity in the monastery is a backdrop for the real work of the nuns, the lifelong process of forging ordinary women into saints by transforming their hearts.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sleeping Beagle Books
• Release date: Jun 2, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463257074

Karen Woods

Karen Woods writes about the world she grew up in and her beloved Manchester – in all its light and shade – is in every book.

Book preview

A Merciful Heart

a novel by

Karen S. Woods

Sleeping Beagle Books

Smashwords Edition

Jacksonville Illinois

Smashwords edition, License Note

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Also available in print.

A Merciful Heart is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright 2018 by Karen S. Woods

All Rights Reserved.

Cover photo by Melcandea, used under license.

What is a merciful heart? It is a heart on fire for the whole of creation, for humanity, for the birds, for the animals, for demons, and for all that exists. By the recollection of them the eyes of a merciful person pour forth tears in abundance. By the strong and vehement mercy that grips such a person’s heart, and by such great compassion, the heart is humbled, and one cannot bear to hear or to see any injury or slight sorrow in any of creation. For this reason, such a person offers up tearful prayer continually even for irrational beasts, for the enemies of truth, and for those who harm her or him, that they be protected and receive mercy. And in the like manner such a person prays for the family of reptiles because of the great compassion that burns without measure in a heart that is in the likeness of God.

St. Isaac the Syrian

Trademark acknowledgments and Thanks

Priority Mail is a registered trademark of the United States Postal Service.

Phi Beta Kappa is a registered trademark of the Phi Beta Kappa Society.

The MCAT, the Medical College Admission Test, is the registered trademark of the Association of American Medical Colleges.

Many thanks to the Mayo Clinic for their excellent website containing all sorts of helpful medical information.

Many thanks to the New York State Education Department for their helpful website about licensing requirements for various health related professions in New York State.

Biblical citations, quotations from the church fathers and other saints, and passages from the various liturgies of the Orthodox Church are rendered according to the memory of the author.

Chapter One

Sister Elizabeth stood outside of the Cath Lab, waiting for Mother Nina to come out of the changing room, about twenty minutes until twelve noon.

A nurse brought the last of the morning’s patients out of the Cath Lab in a wheelchair. Mother Nina took a few more minutes to come out of the changing room.

You are waiting for me, Sister Elizabeth? Mother Nina asked, seeing her old friend standing there.

I am. Do you have a few minutes? We need to talk, Sister asked.

Sure. I was just heading to the chapel for noon prayers. Walk with me?

Sure, Sister Elizabeth said as she turned and kept pace with Mother Nina. Sisters Ekaterina, Diana, Miriam, and Klara have requested tonsure to Rassophore rank. I think they are ready.

Mother sighed. So do I. Largely, each of them was ready when they came to us. I might have waited longer to schedule this tonsure, until Anne and Joan were ready, but with Vladika here and wanting to do this, it’s time.

I have their suggested names lists. Sister Ekaterina asks to be Sister Elena. Sister Diana asks to be Sister Paula.

After one of the first Desert Mothers? Mother asked.

Yes. That’s what she said.

Hmm... That’s interesting.

Sister Miriam asks to be known as Sister Martha.

Martha in Egypt or Martha of Bethany? Mother asked. Or some other Martha?

Martha in Egypt, Sister Elizabeth said.

Hmm... A virgin deeply in love with Christ and longing to be united to him. Not a bad name for a nun.

And Sister Klara wishes to be known as Sister Kew.

How did she spell that? Mother asked.

K-e-w. You have me. I don’t know of a Saint Kew, Sister Elizabeth said with a shrug.

Early English saint. There is a village in Cornwall that grew up around her hermitage. It’s called Saint Kew. Like Saint Seraphim, Saint Kew had a tame bear as her companion. Her feast day is Klara’s birthday, in February, Mother said. It’s a good name for a holy woman who is too often forgotten.

With Sister Olga being tonsured Great Schema as Mother Eudoxia, and Sisters Sophia, Tatiana and I being promoted to Stavrophore rank, that takes care of most of us. I have no idea of our new names.

Sister Tatiana will be Mother Efrosinia. Vladika has already established that. The rest of you, I don’t know what we shall call you. I am willing to entertain suggestions. Although accepting the name is the first obedience of a newly tonsured nun, Mother Nina replied on a sigh.

We are left with Sisters Joan and Anne being novices, as neither of them have asked for tonsure, yet, and Fay, Basilissa, and Sarah possibly coming into the novitiate.

We need to get a schedule for profession retreats made up, Mother said. The kitchen can spare Sister Tatiana for a few days. And Sister Miriam can cover the palliative care patients for a few days, so you can do the retreat, and if she needs a hand, you may leave the chapel to assist her. Sister Olga isn’t physically able to make that retreat fully, currently. Sister Sophia is supervising the building of the new nuns’ house. So, she will be popping in and out, but can do the retreat, largely. So, maybe it’s just the three of you on retreat. The question is, can the three of you be in the chapel without it becoming a party?

That is the question... But I don’t think it would be a problem. Not really. We can spread out and take turns reading the psalms aloud, or reading out loud from various Saints, sit and read quietly, and nap when needed. And certainly a few days on bread and water will not kill any of the three of us.

They reached the Chapel.

Their bishop was already there. But he hadn’t vested for services. He was just sitting, napping in a chair, and snoring rather loudly.

Mother went over to him and stood there for a moment, looking at his respirations, counting them, assessing them. It looked like normal sleep, to her. She spoke to him, Vladika?

He came awake with a start. I do apologize.

Why? I can’t think of any place more suitable for a rest than in God’s house, Mother Nina said. He knows our needs and is a loving father to all.

The bishop nodded and smiled. Indeed, He does, and is. I knew I was right to encourage you to become a nun.

It’s about time for Sixth Hour. Will you stay and pray that and Ninth Hour with us? Mother asked.

I had planned to do so, he said. I won’t vest, but I will give the doxology and all blessings.

As the nuns filed in, they took their places. The retreatants who were visiting, exploring if they would fit well here as members of the community, Basilissa, Sarah, and Fay, as well as the other two women who had come in yesterday for their retreats, also came and stood with the nuns to pray. All their voices blended well in song, sounding like an angelic chorus.

After their common prayers, everyone went to the dining hall for lunch. The bishop joined them. Mother noted that their bishop took only half a bowl of lentil soup and a roll for lunch. And he didn’t finish either of them, playing with his soup, taking a spoonful or two, and not touching the roll, at all, except to break it into bits and move it about a bit so it looked as though a bit might have been eaten.

Sister Olga, on the other hand, seemed to have quite an appetite, eating not only a bowl of soup, but also a veggie burger, a mixed greens salad, and a poached pear.

Have you been working hard today, Sister Olga? Mother Nina asked in amusement.

Physical therapy worked me very hard this morning. But I am now riding an exercise bike forward, instead of just peddling backwards, Sister Olga said, her voice both satisfied and tired. I must be content with little things, as great things are beyond me, presently. Personally, I count it a great victory that I’m not constantly complaining about my recent hip fracture but am just trying to find some degree of profit in it.

Mother nodded, I recall a quote from Saint Basil the Great, ‘Troubles are usually the brooms and shovels that smooth the road to a good man’s fortune; and many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head and knows not that it brings abundance to drive away hunger.’

That is a good quote, Mother Nina, their bishop said, his voice tired. Very appropriate. We can always use our troubles to help us smooth our pathway to God.

Fay spoke, changing the subject, Mother, I would like to stay here as a novice and to spend the rest of my life among you, working out my salvation as a nun in this community.

Mother Nina nodded and smiled, I am delighted to invite you to stay and try this monastic life as a novice among us. During your novitiate, you shall be known as Sister Beatrix. As soon as your medical license endorsement comes through and you are added to our professional liability policy, your obedience will be to practice medicine here in the walk-in clinic, and to work on starting and running a Mother and Child home here. For now, your work will likely change day to day as we find work for you.

Thank you, Mother, the newly minted Sister Beatrix said. I will be delighted to be known as Sister Beatrix.

Mother chuckled. "One shouldn’t flinch at the sound of one’s name. That’s too much of a podvig to impose on anyone."

Rita... Mother Nina, Mother’s old friend from med school, Basilissa Davydova, asked, I too would like to remain here as a novice, to work out my salvation among you.

Mother Nina nodded. I am delighted to invite you to stay and attempt to live the monastic life with us. In your novitiate, you shall be known as Sister Basilissa. Your obedience will be to run the lab here and, once your medical license endorsement comes through and the insurance carrier adds you to the liability policy, to work in the walk-in clinic as a physician.

I should like to work with Sister Beatrix on establishing the Mother and Child home, as well, if I may. I’ve spent so much of my medical career analyzing tissues, blood, and other body fluids, to determine states of illnesses, Sister Basilissa replied.

Of course, you may, Mother replied with a smile. Sarah, do you have something to ask me? she asked Sister Elizabeth’s old med school friend.

Yes, I do. Mother, would you have me as a novice here? Sarah asked.

We would be happy to have you among us while you try the monastic life as a novice nun. You shall be known as Sister Sarah. Your obedience will be to practice medicine here in your professional specialty of ophthalmology, Mother said. At least as soon as we can find you a space on campus to practice in and get you added to the professional liability policy.

Sister Elizabeth said, Welcome among us, Sisters Beatrix, Basilissa, and Sarah. I will take you to the residence after lunch, give you to the new novice talk, assign you rooms, and get you clothed as novices.

Certainly, Sister Beatrix replied.

The bishop yawned. You certainly have your processes ironed out.

Sister Olga observed, her voice kind, I think, Vladika, that you need to take a nap this afternoon, before you get back to work. You look very tired.

You may be right about that. I feel very tired, indeed. I had a long telephone conversation this morning with the Chancellor, telling him that the monastery hospice program has taken me in for care, and then of my burial plans. I made him promise that he would see that my plans were honored. It wasn’t easy or pleasant. But it was necessary.

Uncle Vanya? Sister Klara asked, her voice strained and frightened. Hospice? Burial?

I can think of no better place for me to spend my last days, than being looked after by my favorite nuns, including my most favorite grandniece, the bishop said, with a small smile.

I am your only grandniece. Do Babushka and Mama know that you are dying, Uncle Vanya? Sister Klara asked, carefully, in Russian.

I will tell them this afternoon, he said. I’m just getting to the point where I am comfortable saying goodbye to people.

I’m sure that they will want to be here for my tonsuring. Maybe it would be better to wait until Saturday to tell them, Sister Klara said.

Maybe I should talk to them in person, their bishop replied with a sigh. The news is going to get out and I don’t want them to hear it from someone else. That would be bad.

Yes, it would, Sister Klara stated with an equally heavy sigh.

I don’t imagine that it was easy to talk to the Chancellor about your final wishes, Sister Elizabeth said, changing the subject. Are you feeling at peace about this?

I can’t change the circumstances, but I’m doing the best I can with my time. And really that’s all any of us can do. I really want to finish both books I am working on while I still can work, the bishop said. That’s important to me. I’ve spent my life learning, studying, thinking, praying, and teaching. I want to be sure that I can share as much of what I have learned in my life, as possible, while I still am able to share.

We will do what we can to keep you comfortable so that you can work, Sister Miriam pledged.

Mother Nina nodded. Saint Basil the Great was talking of the troubles that come our way being tools that we can use to make our way to God more smooth. I think we can all reflect on that and draw some inspiration from it for our lives. None of us know how much time we will be given. It is up to us to use every moment profitably for our souls’ health. Now, Sister Sophia, as we are now done with lunch, would you lead us in our post meal prayers? The work of the afternoon awaits.

Sister Sophia stood and faced the icons on the east wall of the dining room. In her clear voice, she sang out, We thank you, O Christ our God, that You have satisfied us with Your earthly gifts; deprive us not of Your heavenly Kingdom, but as You came among Your Disciples, O Savior, and gave them peace, come to us and save us.

Everyone answered, Amen.

Then Sister Sophia followed it with a prayer to be offered before work, O Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of the eternal Father, You have said, ‘Without me you can do nothing’ In faith we embrace Your words, O Lord, and bow before Thy goodness. Help us to complete the work we are about to begin for Your own glory: in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

And again, everyone answered, Amen.

Now, back to work. See you all at dinner, Mother Nina said with a smile.

Chapter Two

Sitting in her office, early Thursday afternoon, Mother checked the monastery’s email. She found one thousand three hundred and seventeen messages there, all of those had come in today. She began scrolled down, finding most of them, judging from the subject lines, to be well wishes and prayers for their bishop. She pulled up a browser and went to the diocesan website.

As she suspected, the public announcement from the diocese was prominently posted on the website to the effect that their bishop was dying of cancer and had been taken in for end-of-life care by the nuns of Saint Maria Skobtsova Orthodox Monastery. The announcement gave their monastery physical and website addresses. The announcement said that the administrative matters of the diocese would be handled by the Chancellor, with any matters requiring a bishop’s decision being sent to the Metropolitan, Bishop Mark, during the period of the bishop’s final illness. Further, the announcement asked for prayers for their bishop and for the nuns who were caring for him at the end of his life.

She left her office and went to see Sister Tatiana in the kitchen, finding her cutting out sandwich rolls from an inch-thick slab of whole wheat bread dough.

Rita...er Mother Nina... what brings you to the kitchen?

Our email is being deluged with concerns for the bishop. We need to post an announcement page on the website to serve as a place for announcements about Vladika’s condition.

Something along the line of ‘We understand that people are concerned about the health of our bishop, who is at St Maria’s Monastery receiving palliative care as he approaches his repose in the Lord. He is in no significant pain. He is treating this period as a religious retreat, joining the nuns in the chapel for prayers, and in trapeza for meals, and then attempting to finish his books-in-progress, as he has strength. Please understand, neither the nuns, nor our bishop, have the time to reply individually to the overwhelming outpouring of love and support that is being sent to us for him. As our time for response is so limited, we will post announcements here as his condition changes. And we ask that you, please, continue to pray for him and for the nuns who are caring for him.’

Sounds good. I knew that you would come up with the right approach.

I will get to it in an hour or so. Or Sister Anne will.

Thanks. I could do it myself, but I didn’t want to interfere in your area.

Sister resumed cutting out sandwich rolls from the bread dough. You are always welcome to do whatever you feel necessary on the website.

I try not to step on people’s toes once they have been given a task, Mother Nina said.

You always have been good at delegating and compartmentalizing, Sister Tatiana said with a chuckle.

I wish I was. But I try.

Do you need anything else? Sister asked.

Not at this time.

My kids and grandkids aren’t able to come to my tonsuring, Sister Tatiana said, her voice holding emotional pain.

I’m sorry. We could reschedule the tonsuring, so they could be here, if you would like.

It really wouldn’t matter when we did this. ’Unable’ isn’t quite the right word. They are still quite upset about my change in life. And they won’t come here to be part of it, because they don’t want to encourage me in this, in their words, ‘damned foolishness’.

I’m sorry.

Me, too.

Is there anything I can do to help? Mother Nina asked.

She sighed. There is nothing to do. They don’t understand why I want this life. And they have no desire to even try to understand. All I can do is love them and pray for them.

It is their loss.

Yes. Your sons and two of their wives will be here. I’ve put them, and Sister Elizabeth’s daughter and son-in-law and their son, in the rectory, for tomorrow night and Saturday. Although both your priest son and Sister Elizabeth’s priest son-in-law will both be flying out on Saturday afternoon, so they can celebrate Divine Liturgy on Sunday in their assigned parishes.

Thank you.

I moved Alice and Photini into your old cottage.

I hadn’t even gotten their names down. I’ve been distracted by too many other things, Mother Nina admitted. Sister Elizabeth said that one was a GP and the other was a Dermatologist.

Photini is the Dermatologist. Alice is a family practice doctor. Both have current New York medical licenses. They are pleasant and seem to be hard workers. We put them to work with the CSA for now, Sister Tatiana replied.

Which would explain why I haven’t seen them except in the chapel and the dining hall. I may take a walk over to the CSA and check on them, Mother replied.

Be a good thing. Alice is the younger of the two. Both are good women.

I am sure they are.

The CSA office was in the old farm house, a little over a mile’s walk from the kitchen. She met Charlie, the supervisor of the Community Supported Agriculture program, about half way there. He and another member of the staff were on a golf cart, heading towards one of the machine sheds.

The golf cart stopped very close to her. Charles, Mother Nina greeted him, dryly.

He chuckled. That was a bit on the close side, was it, Matushka?

It was. Do you have a minute?

You want to talk about Alice and Photini? he asked.

I do. What do you think of them?

Nice ladies. Hard workers. Willing to try anything I tell them to do. But not skilled farm workers, he