Confessions of an Angel Cat

By Nic Tatano

Meet Murphy, an Angel Cat. An actual Guardian Angel in the form of a cat.

No, seriously.

Guardian Angels take different forms on Earth, but in the case of Angel Cats, they're sent on missions to fix broken lives. And while doing so, they strive to achieve a "heart lock" with a human, a bond so strong it will last forever. Their reward is to spend eternity in Heaven with their special person.

Alas, Murphy has failed several times and is beginning to wonder if he's cut out for the job.

But when he's assigned to Maggie Ryan, a seriously ill teenage girl who is ready to give up, he begins to see the proverbial bright light.

Will he be able to turn Maggie's life around, and, in doing so, achieve the heart lock he so desperately wants?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nic Tatano
• Release date: May 18, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386787617

Nic Tatano

I've always been a writer of some sort, having spent my career working as a reporter, anchor or producer in television news. Fiction is a lot more fun, since you don't have to deal with those pesky things known as facts. I grew up in the New York City metropolitan area and now live on the Gulf Coast where I will never shovel snow again. I'm happily married to a math teacher and we share our wonderful home with our tortoiseshell tabby cat, Gypsy.

Book preview

CONFESSIONS OF AN ANGEL CAT

By Nic Tatano

CHAPTER ONE

MOST PEOPLE THINK CATS are, well... cats. Fur babies that make great pets, love you unconditionally, brighten each and every day.

In reality, some of us are angels.

I see you furrowing your brow, wondering what in the world that means. It doesn’t mean we’re your little angels, it means we are literally angels.

My name is Murphy, and I’m an angel cat.

No, seriously, I’m an angel.

We take the form of cats here on Earth, and all have a mission. Generally it is to bring people together, fix broken lives, lead people on the right path. Just like that Clarence character from It’s a Wonderful Life, my job is basically to make people better human beings and realize how they’ve been blessed. And there are a whole lotta people on this planet who don’t count those blessings.

Sometimes it aint easy. I’ll get to why that has left me in my current situation in a moment.

I’m sure you’re curious about how this angel cat thing came about. (And I got this stuff from one of the senior angel cats who was around back in the day of Adam and Eve.) Once the world’s first couple got unceremoniously tossed from the Garden of Eden after the apple incident, God figured it might be a good idea to have angels keep a close eye on them. I mean, really up close and personal. So He created a few angels in the form of cats, who no one would ever suspect had a direct pipeline to Heaven. Obviously Adam and Eve ended up with problem children, considering that whole Cain-and-Abel fiasco. So rather than just have cats monitor things on Earth, we were given missions to fix things that were broken. Angel cats were working their magic while being obedient pets. (Well, as obedient as a cat can be.)

This was going along rather swimmingly until the Egyptians decided that cats were actually gods, which gave their fur babies an inflated sense of self. It didn’t take long for those cats to think their litter boxes didn’t stink. By the time Moses pulled that Red Sea trick, the damage had been done. Our attitude became ingrained and persists to this day, in both normal and angel cats.

Anyway, back to my current assignment. Which, unfortunately, is my fifth.

I say unfortunately because once an angel cat successfully completes a mission, it’s off to that Rainbow Bridge paradise you’ve read about. It literally is cat heaven. Endless treats, creatures to chase (but never catch) and the humans you’ve bonded with. We also become trainers for new angel cats. But the only way to get there is to successfully complete a mission and establish what is known as a heart lock with a human; a bond so strong that it will endure through eternity. It’s the ultimate reward. Paradise with the one you love the most. Just thinking about it makes my whiskers perk up.

One little thing about Rainbow Bridge; cats really don’t have to wait years for their people to arrive because time has no meaning in Heaven. It’s not linear, working like that Star Trek movie when Captain Kirk ends up in the Nexus and thinks he just arrived even though Picard got there eighty-something years later. (Yes, cats watch TV besides Animal Planet.) So when a cat arrives at the Bridge, the human it has bonded with is there seconds later even though years may have passed on Earth. That’s the nice thing about Heaven. No waiting, no sense of missing someone, no broken hearts. It truly is perfection.

Anyway, I got off on a tangent so I need to update you on my most recent assignment.

Which is why I am currently eating tasteless kibble while looking through metal bars.

It started about three months ago...

CHAPTER TWO

From the desk of: Sebastian , Angel Cat Supervisor

Memo

To: Murphy

Re: New assignment

Hey Murph,

Sorry to hear your previous task did not end well. Alas, we have no shortage of challenges, so I have chosen one for you that looks promising.

We have a young married couple that looks to be on the verge of splitting up. Your job is to show up as a sorry-looking stray gray tabby kitten and hopefully provide them with something that will bring them back together. They both love cats, so you at least have that going for you.

I know you’re frustrated that you have not achieved a heart lock as of yet, but please know we all have faith in you and know you will make a great trainer when you arrive at Rainbow Bridge.

-Sebastian

DAMN, IT’S COLD AND wet. I hate a cold rain.

Then again, as a cat, I hate rain, period.

I head toward the location of my assignment, and quickly realize I’m limping. Great, one of my back legs is crooked. I stop to glance at my reflection in a broken mirror that is leaning against a dumpster and see that Sebastian wasn’t kidding about me being a sorry-looking tabby.

Heck, I’m even missing half an ear and the tip of my tail.

Whatever. I suppose a soaking wet shivering kitten who is not exactly going to end up on a calendar will evoke more sympathy from my future owners. While humans feel emotional about pretty things that are broken, they often respond to not-so-pretty things that need help.

Their home is straight ahead. Lights are on. Thank God.

I see flickering light from what I assume is a television behind a big picture window, so I try to jump up on the sill but my back leg isn’t working.

Hey, at least I’ve got some serious claws.

So I climb up a tree next to the window, get up on the sill, put on the saddest face I can muster, and hit ‘em with my loudest possible meow.

THE TALL, DARK-HAIRED thirtysomething man looked up from the kitchen and turned toward his wife who was sitting on the couch. Did you say something, Corinne?

The petite blonde looked over her shoulder. Jack, I have nothing to say to you after the way you acted last night.

I thought I heard something. Pause the TV for a minute.

She rolled her eyes. Whatever. She grabbed the remote and stopped the Jane Austen movie.

He heard it again. That. Did you hear it?

Her eyes widened as she saw the soaking wet kitten meowing in the window. Oh my God, it’s a little kitten stuck out in the rain. She got up, ran to the door and opened it. The kitten climbed down a tree and ran inside. It immediately shook the water from its fur, but was still shivering. Jack, get a towel.

I’m on it. He ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and quickly brought it to her. They both crouched down, wrapped the kitten in the towel and started to dry it off. Poor thing is freezing. He picked up the kitten, keeping it wrapped rightly in the towel and pulled it to his chest. You think it belongs to one of the neighbors?

I don’t think anyone around here even has a cat. Does it have a collar?

He pulled the towel back a bit to check. Nope. Might just be a stray. Or someone threw it away. Heartless people do stuff like that.

Well, we can check with everyone on the block tomorrow when it stops raining. Tell you what, I’ll dry it off with a hair dryer. We got anything for it to eat?

Maybe a can of tuna, but that’s it. I’ll run to the store and get some cat food.

Yeah, the poor thing is probably hungry.

AN HOUR LATER THEY both looked at the now dry kitten as it wolfed down a bowl of food. Jack shook his head. The little guy has been in a fight. It’s missing half an ear and part of its tail.

It walks funny too, like there’s something wrong with its back leg.

The kitten licked the bowl clean, then moved toward Jack and started rubbing against his leg while giving off a loud purr. Jack picked it up and set it on his lap. But it sure is friendly. He tilted the kitten’s face up so it was looking at him. Definitely not a feral cat.

No, it’s socialized. And probably very grateful we took it in and fed it. Let me hold it awhile. She took it from him and looked into the cat’s bright green eyes. You were hungry, huh, little tiger?

He smiled at her. Oh, so now it’s your cat.

I saw it first.

I heard it first.

I let it in.

I drove to the pet store in the rain.

They both laughed as she hugged the kitten. It leaned up and gave her a lick. Guess we’d better put something together as far as a cat bed is concerned.

I’ll get a box and that old comforter we have in the charity pile and put it next to the heating vent. Leave out some of the dry food and water.

Did you pick up cat litter?

Of course. Even got a litter box. Hope the thing knows how to use it.

It’s a cat, it should know. It looks old enough.

Tomorrow we can take the kitten to the vet if it doesn’t belong to anyone.

THE KINDLY OLD GRAY-haired vet listened to the kitten’s heart through his stethoscope and smiled. He pulled it from his ears. He’s a healthy kitten, though it’s obvious he’s been through an ordeal. Either got in a fight or hit by a car. Maybe both.

Corinne stroked the cat on the stainless steel exam table. How old do you think he is?

Maybe four months.

What’s the deal with his back leg? asked Jack.

I’m guessing it was broken at some point and healed badly. Really no way to fix it other than break it and re-set it, but I wouldn’t want to put a kitten through that right now. He’s endured enough. And there’s no guarantee he’d be normal. He seems to get around fine and is not in any pain. Of course, he’ll have to be an indoor cat since he can’t run or jump to get away from predators. Can you keep him inside?

Corinne nodded. I think he’s had enough time outdoors anyway. And cats live longer if they’re kept inside, right?

Oh, absolutely. Several years longer. Let me just give him his shots and then he’ll only need one thing.

What’s that? asked Jack.

The doctor smiled at him as he prepared the shots. A name, of course.

I  GUESS I SHOULD EXPLAIN how cats get their names. You probably think that with my being an angel cat and having had a bunch of assignments that I’ve had several names.

Uh, wrong.

I’ve always been Murphy. Or Murph to those back at Rainbow Bridge.

Here’s the deal. A cat already has a name upon arrival on Earth. We simply have a sort of telepathic ability to put the name in the mind of the human who adopts us. So while you may think you’ve come up with something incredibly clever that fits your cat perfectly, you’re simply following the divine order of things.

I mean, think about how confusing it would be at Angel Cat Central if I had a different name for each assignment.

Besides, Murphy fits my spunky personality, especially since all my assignments have been in New York. I’d hate to give it up and be a cat known as Cleopatra or Thumbelina.

So there’s a lot of truth in that old T.S. Eliot poem about a cat knowing its name.

But I will tell you, even though I know my human will eventually realize the perfect name for me, it’s always a kick to see that light in their eyes when it suddenly comes to that person.

CORINNE LOOKED UP FROM her book and saw the kitten playing with a catnip mouse. You’re a happy little kitty now that you’ve got a home now, huh tiger?

Jack sat next to her on the couch with a beer and some potato chips. You know, we can’t keep calling him kitty. And tiger is too obvious with those stripes.

You know who he reminds me of?

Who?

Your crusty old uncle. The retired boxer with the cauliflower ear. She cocked her head at the kitten. He’s a tough little cat to have survived on his own and he’s got some battle scars.

Jack nodded and smiled. Yeah, he’s kinda similar in that respect to Uncle Murph.

Let’s call him Murphy.

The cat stopped playing, looked up at them and meowed.

I guess he approves, said Jack. You like that name, Murphy?

The cat meowed again.

Murphy it is then.

CHAPTER THREE

Afew months later , the arguments between Jack and Corinne are a daily event.

I tried my best to bring them together. But now that I am older and the cuteness of being a kitten has worn off to my humans (not that I would ever be considered remotely cute), I have become what cats refer to as furry wallpaper.

To illustrate what that means, I’d like you to describe the wallpaper in your house. You probably cannot, since after a while you don’t really see it. It fades into the background.

My humans have reached the point where they’re not seeing me. They put food out and clean the litter box, but I’m like a piece of the furniture or a plant that needs to be watered.

And I’m afraid, once again, I have failed.

JACK SAT ON THE COUCH, shoulders tensed, jaw clenched as he stared at the bank statement. He rolled his eyes and flipped the paper in the air. We bounced another check, Corinne. That’s thirty-five bucks in fees every time this happens.

She walked past him, shaking her head. Hey, don’t look at me. You were the one who wanted to be in charge of finances.

And part of that is cutting spending. Which you apparently refuse to do.

We’d have plenty of disposable cash if you’d give up your country club membership. Which you barely use. How often do you play golf, twice a year?

It’s a business expense. A write-off.

You can’t write something off against income you don’t have. And clients you don’t have either.

Jack’s eyes narrowed. The cat put his paws up on the couch, wanting to be picked up. Not now, Murphy. Jack picked up the cat and set it aside, then got up and moved toward Corinne. "We have to get our finances under control."

I’ll stop spending when you stop wasting money. You didn’t need a new car and now we’re stuck with the ridiculous monthly payment.

They stood there, silent, staring each other down.

The cat moved toward Corinne and rubbed against her leg.

She simply ignored Murphy and moved away. This isn’t working, Jack.

As I just said, it’s because you won’t control your spending.

I wasn’t referring to money. I meant our marriage. It’s over.

Murphy looked up at the two humans, dropped his head, and slowly walked to his bed. He curled up and closed his eyes, but couldn’t sleep.

WE WANT THIS TO BE amicable, said Jack, sitting opposite Corinne at the kitchen table with the portly, fiftyish gray-haired lawyer in the middle.

Good to hear, said the attorney, pulling out a yellow legal pad and pen. He drew a line down the center, ready to divide things up. Let me get a handle on the basics before we start. Children?

Corinne shook her head. None.

That certainly simplifies things. You said on the phone you had already divided things up.

Jack slid a sheet of paper toward the lawyer. Here you go. We’re pretty much taking out of the marriage what we brought into it. Of course, we’ll sell the house and split the proceeds since neither of us has enough to buy the other one out. We already have a buyer and will close in a couple of months.

Sounds pretty cut and dried. Should be a simple matter of filing the papers since neither of you is contesting anything.

Corinne nodded. We just want to go our separate ways.

The cat meowed, interrupting them.

The lawyer looked down and saw the tabby at his feet, looking up. Oh, hello there. He reached out to pet the cat. Who does the cat belong to?

Corinne shrugged. He’s ours. Together.

The lawyer looked at the legal pad. I don’t see it on the list. Who gets the cat? Believe it or not, if we don’t put that in the agreement it can lead to problems. I actually went to divorce court once over a dog.

I can’t take him, said Jack. I’m starting a new job and I’ll be traveling too much.

Corinne shook her head. Me neither. I’m moving into an apartment that doesn’t allow pets. She turned to the cat and bit her lip. Sorry, Murphy. I’m sure the shelter will find you a good home.

MEMO

To: Sebastian, Angel Cat Supervisor

From: Murphy