Follow Your Dreams

By Lisa Ballenger

Join Sophie and Max as they discover following their dreams will lead to a life and love they did not think possible.

In Her Dreams…

Sophie takes photos that capture the wonders of the world.

In Reality…

She’s never strayed from the security and love of her family and friends and the high school boyfriend who assumes they will get married.

In His Dreams…

Max is sailing around the world...alone...wherever he lands is his home. He is not interested in taking a chance on a love that could leave him in pain.

In Reality…

He’s in a house helping his sister and her children through a crisis and getting a bit too interested in Sophie.

So What Happens...

When a woman who has never left her hometown and a man who doesn’t want a home suddenly find their dreams filled with each other?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lisa Ballenger
• Release date: Apr 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386248453

Book preview

All my Love to D....

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Epilogue

Chapter One

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Sophie....Sophie....Mommy said you wouldn’t be here today.

She looked up just before Amanda crashed into her, two weeks of tension draining from her neck as she wrapped her arms around the eight-year-old. You know I wouldn’t miss the first day of practice.

But isn’t your daddy sick? Amanda’s voice dropped to a whisper. Really, really sick?

Sophie felt her chest tighten, then quickly took a deep breath. No stench of critical illness, only clean air. For the last four weeks, the only fresh air she’d breathed was pacing outside at the hospital.  Of course her mother never even left the hospital, staying in the room with her father every minute after his stroke.

She pulled back and smiled. A child shouldn’t be worrying about hospitals and adult problems.

He’s doing fine. She tapped Amanda’s nose. Ready to win this year?

I can’t wait. The wide grin reminded Sophie why she loved coaching children.

Speaking of daddies, where’s yours? Sophie scanned the sea of parents gathering at the edge of the county park practice field. Ray hadn’t missed a single lacrosse practice last year, carting Amanda around while his wife Madeline handled their six-year old Shelia’s obsession with ballet.

Heaven.

What? Sophie sank to her knees, placing her fingertips on Amanda’s flushed cheeks. What did you say, honey?

Amanda pointed to the sky. Daddy’s gone to heaven.

Did he go away in an airplane?

No, Sophie, I just told you. He’s gone to heaven. She nodded once, her hands on her hips. But it’s okay. He promised he’d be back soon and Daddy always does what he promises.

But, Amanda- Sophie whispered.

Why don’t you go on over with your friends. A deep voice drifted down to the pair.

All right. Amanda backed away with a sigh. But, hurry up and get ready, Sophie. I want to practice what Daddy taught me so I can show him when he gets back.

Her ears rang with Amanda’s words as the child jogged to a huddle of girls dumping lacrosse balls out of a mesh bag.

I’m Amanda’s uncle, Max Logan. You must be her coach, Sophie Collins.

Sophie sank back on her heels, her stiff rubber tennis shoes digging into her thighs, the cold March ground stinging her knees through her jeans.

She’s not saying... Sophie waved in the direction of the giggling children, then looked at the stranger. I mean Ray isn’t...

She focused on the grimness of Max’s mouth, unable to see his eyes hidden by sunglasses.

He died in a car accident last week.

Max’s face blurred as the blunt truth descended into Sophie’s heart, breaking it.

A car accident. Her shoulders sank. The horrifying suddenness. Blood. Bodies damaged beyond recognition.

After fifteen years, she could still see the police at the front door as she huddled behind a living room chair, a terrified ten year old. ...your son was in an accident. Thrown from the car. Still hear her mother’s screams, her father’s silence as the family altering news was delivered through stoic politeness. You need to identify the body...

She shook her head, slinging tears out of her eyes and the past from her thoughts. Madeline must be- Fear seized her. She leapt up and clutched Max’s arms. Madeline’s not dead, too.

No. His muscles tensed under her grasp. Maddie and Shelia are fine.

She blinked furiously, her fingers tightening on his jacket sleeve.

She didn’t understand. Why hadn’t Madeline called? Had she called and left a message with Courtney? No, Sophie’s roommate would’ve told her, even if they’d barely seen each other recently.

Sophie, when are we going to start? The voice of Jennie followed by another girl’s plea, circled Sophie’s thoughts. Yeah, Sophie, come on. We’re ready to practice.

She slapped one hand to her face, covering her eyes, I can’t... jabbing her other hand into her jeans pocket for car keys. Please tell them I forgot something and I’ll be back in a minute.

She stumbled away, her mind swirling around buried memories of her brother.

#

What now, Max?

He pulled his faded green ball cap further down his forehead, taking his time to straighten the bill just so, delaying, plotting his next move.

He didn’t know what to do with his own nieces and now a whole gaggle of girls with lacrosse sticks glared at him. As though it was his fault their coach had run off crying.  Why would anyone want to coach young girls? But Maddie said Sophie was wonderful and Amanda loved her.

Where did Sophie go, Uncle Max? Amanda stepped toward him, dragging her stick behind her. Is she sick?

He glanced over his shoulder, praying Sophie was headed back, but she was still fumbling with her keys. Hadn’t even made it into the car yet. Where the hell was that other coach anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to be covering today?

Uncle Max. A tug on his belt loop brought his attention back to the problem in front of him.

You girls need to warm up. He strolled toward the thirty narrowed, expectant eyes and clapped his hands. Put down your sticks and run up and down the field five times. He looked down at Amanda, who was stuck to his side. You girls do know how to run don’t you?

Amanda let out an exasperated sigh. Don’t be silly. Of course we know how to run. She trotted away, shaking her head. Don’t you know anything about girls?

No, Max mumbled. And I didn’t plan on learning anything today.

#

Sophie jerked open the glove compartment, stuffed her hand into the mess and pulled out a tattered wad of fast food napkins.

Poor Madeline. She was so desperately in love with Ray. And the children. Sophie twisted her head toward the field. Swiping the back of her hand across her eyes, she tried to find Amanda through the haze.

The faith of a child. To believe her Daddy would be coming back.

They don’t come back, Sophie whispered.

But it would be different for Amanda and Shelia. Madeline would find a way to survive. She wouldn’t live in the past, expecting the remaining family members to fill the void. A void that couldn’t be filled. 

After crying every night, her mother had finally stopped about six months after the accident, but in some ways the silence was worse. At least the tears were emotions. Even when her sister had a baby, her mother barely smiled.

Amanda ran up and down the field with her friends, parents stood talking on the sidelines. The world kept moving.

She gulped in air as the tears began again.

Suddenly the car door opened and Max leaned down to stare at her puffy wet face.

I’m sorry, she blubbered. I know I need to get back out there.

He blew out a heavy breath and sank down, one arm resting on the door handle, the other on the edge of the driver’s seat. They want to know what’s wrong.

I, I just... her shoulders started to shake as her crying intensified. I just can’t seem to stop. I feel so bad for...Madeline and... She hiccupped, trying to breath.

Maddy’s fine.

She can’t be fine. Sophie bent across the seat, splaying her hands in front of him. He backed up a fraction. It’s so awful. Don’t you see...car accidents...they’re- More hiccups took her words.

You need to calm down or you’ll hyperventilate. He glanced over his shoulder. Got any water around here?

She pointed at the cooler in her back seat.

Leaning across the cushion, he pulled out a bottle, twisted off the top and shoved it at her. Here. Ice slid down the plastic over her fingers as he backed out of the car and turned back to the field. I’m calling off practice.

The driver side door creaked back on its hinges. She heard voices but no words as the adults nodded her way, then began gathering their chairs and calling to their daughters.

Did they already know about Ray?

Amanda ran up to the car door and climbed in, scooting across the seat next to Sophie. Don’t cry. It’s going to be all right.

Sophie grabbed the child in a hug, her tears dripping into Amanda’s ponytail. I’m sure it will be, honey. But you know how I am.

Yeah, Sophie, I know.

Amanda, Max said, sticking his head down to look in.

Amanda turned to her uncle, speaking in her best grown up voice. She’ll be all right. She cries at everything. She patted Sophie’s leg then slid off the seat and past Max. We can go now.

He continued to stare, opening his mouth but shutting it quickly, setting his lips into a thin line, pressed tightly together.

She’s right, Sophie assured him. I’ll be fine.

He nodded, obviously grateful to be released from the sobbing woman in front of him, then stood and strolled away, Amanda trudging along beside him. They climbed into a faded blue Ford pick-up and pulled out of the gravel lot.

He must think she was a loon. Sure, she might cry a little more than most people, but seldom to the point of melting in public.

She crawled out of the car and lumbered to the middle of the field for her gear.

But a sick father, dependent mother, car accident, Ray dying. She tossed the clipboard in the gym bag and slung it over her shoulder.

No wonder she’d dissolved.

#

Max drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He hadn’t seen this much traffic since San Diego. How did Madeline stand it here?

He tapped the gas and edged up to the red light. Cars snaked through the intersection, each driver bent over, the same determined look on their face, searching for the opening in the stack of vehicles that might get them home one second earlier.

Sophie’s very pretty isn’t she?

He glanced at Amanda. She twirled her hair through her fingers, swinging her legs against the seat.

Well, isn’t she?

I guess. The light changed, drawing his attention back to the front of the truck.

How could that scrunched up red face be pretty? She’d been flooding tears almost from the moment he set eyes on her. Sitting in her little red Honda, wiping her face with soggy beige napkins.

He thought he’d become immune to tears after the last few days with Madeline. His sister’d tried to hide in her room, not crying much in front of her daughters, but he still saw the tears crawl down her face throughout the day.

He flinched every time.

And at the funeral, the sight of his sister and her daughters leaning over the grave of their beloved Ray tore his heart out. 

But he never shed a tear. He’d learned his lesson early about men crying.

I’m going to cut my hair just like Sophie.

What? Max turned into a subdivision and headed toward the house Ray and Madeline had bought when they’d moved to Arlington, Virginia ten years earlier.

I love her hair, Amanda said, dragging out the word love.

I didn’t see any hair. All he remembered was a long neck of pail olive skin leading up to a small face filled with brown eyes pouring water. Her ball cap covered whatever hair she had.

You’ll see it next time and you’ll love it. The moment Max hit the brakes, Amanda hopped out of the car.

I will not love it. He ignored the stab in his heart at the image of Sophie’s anguish and clenched the fingers of his hand that had been tempted to touch her shoulder when she leaned into him in pain. I will not love anything about her.

Chapter Two

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I’m so bored. Courtney Chase slung her legs over the back of the checked blue couch and lay back, her head hanging upside down off the seat cushion.

Sophie paused in her trek through the minuscule apartment dining room, continuing to scrub her wet hair with a towel, creating two inch brown spikes with each stroke. I’ll find us a movie as soon as I eat.

Courtney dragged her hair across the carpet, her long red curls tumbling along.

Sophie shook her head at her roommate and best friend. She looked gorgeous. Even messy, her pale skin blotching with the blood rushing to her head. But then, she always looked gorgeous.

Sophie often wondered if she and Courtney would’ve become so close if they’d met in high school instead of first grade. They had so little in common. Courtney the beauty queen with all the boy friends. Sophie the athlete with tons of boys for friends.

Sophie finger combed her stick straight hair in place, dropped the towel on the kitchen counter and headed for the refrigerator, finally ready to face food. And tomorrow’s Friday. By six we’ll be out and you’ll forget all about being bored.

Ohhhh great, Courtney moaned, then I’ll be even more bored. The same people, the same place, the same conversations. I don’t think I can stand it. Her tone grew more dramatic with each word. Involvement in the local community theater had spawned her habit of practicing acting skills at odd moments.

Sure, Courtney. Sophie usually ignored these little scenes, but today it was actually a welcome diversion from real life.

She grabbed a soft tortilla, cheese and salsa, then assembled her favorite comfort meal - melted cheese wrapped in a shell topped with the hottest sauce they sold. She’d been eating it way too much of it recently.

It’s true. I don’t think I can spend one more night with them.

The seriousness of Courtney’s tone captured Sophie’s attention. She shut the oven door, then stepped around her lacrosse gear to peer into the living room. Courtney now sat cross-legged on the couch staring at a framed picture.

I love every one of our friends, but... She placed the photo of their high school graduation back on the end table next to four other frames of the same group through the years. Basketball, lacrosse games, beauty contests, and more recently, weddings. I need to meet new people. A new man.

She glanced Sophie’s way.

Oh don’t look so horrified, Sophie Collins. I’m not going to move to Egypt or something. I just want to branch out. Courtney waved her arms through the air, the drama queen returning. Expand my horizons.

I see. Sophie backed toward the kitchen, as Courtney shuffled through a bag of cosmetics, located a bottle of polish and began painting her toenails scalding red.

But Sophie didn’t see at all. They’d been hanging out with the same friends forever. Most of them had been through elementary, middle and high school together. And they’d re-grouped after scattering for college. She couldn’t imagine finding new friends.

She rescued her tortilla seconds before it became carbon, then sank into the rattan rocking chair across from the couch. You remember Ray and Madeline?

Sure. Courtney leaned over to finish her task with her little toe. Amanda’s parents.

He died last week in a car accident.

Slowly screwing the top back into the polish bottle, Courtney whispered, a car accident?

Awful isn’t it? Sophie watched concern cloud her friend’s face.

How’d you find out?

Amanda was at practice today.

Did Madeline bring her?

No. Her uncle. Madeline’s brother.

Courtney stretched her legs out on a cushion, propping her wet toenails in the air, but keeping her eyes on Sophie. How’s Amanda?

She believes he’ll be back.

Ohhh nooo. Poor thing. Courtney raised her fingers to cover her mouth. Wonder why Madeline didn’t call you.

Don’t know. I tried to reach her a while ago, but she wasn’t there. Hopefully Max took her out and she’s not sitting there all alone.

Don’t even say that.

I’m going to see her tomorrow. Sophie stuffed the last bite of food in her mouth and wiped two cheese coated fingertips with the paper towel she’d used for a plate. Would you drop me off for a few minutes before we go out?

Of course. Courtney leaned forward, her forehead wrinkled. You doing okay?

Yeah. Sophie rolled her shoulders, the knots her shower had released creeping back into her muscles. I cried, of course.

In front of Amanda?

Sophie waved her hands in the air. In front of everyone.

Tears down the face or... Courtney scrunched her face.

Oh no, nothing that subtle. Even got the hiccups.

Well you have had it tough the last two weeks with your parents. Courtney shook her head. And then it being a car accident, too.

Well, I’m fine now. It’s Madeline I’m worried about.

You’ll be good for her to talk to.

I’m not sure about that.

I am.

Sophie smiled. Close friends. How did people survive without friends to stand by them, to believe in them? Friends that knew all the ugliness and still loved you.

So what did her brother look like? Courtney dragged a mirror from her bag and began examining her skin.

Another reason Sophie loved her friend. Courtney hated to linger in the sad slices of life, too. While Courtney dumped her problems through rapid fire banter then forgot about it, Sophie cried, got it out of