Possibly Charlie

By PatAnn Harner

Widowed for more than six years, I decided to seek a man who might spend New Year's Eve with me. That was my goal as I signed on to a respected dating site. Very soon I was matched with this intriguing Steed who lived several states away. The New Years date never materialized, but there followed two years of a long-distance love affair which changed me forever. Charlie romanced me, enchanted me and took my heart as no one had ever done before. An actor, an attorney and an athlete in his seventies, he had his way with me, thank God! I used to say to him, "Can you believe it, all this passion, all this delicious lust at our ages?" My lover's quick response was, "Why not…we should be doing this in our nineties and when we are a hundred." When Charlie held me, I thought all things were possible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Feb 7, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543922219

Book preview

PA

Chapter One

Roughly two weeks prior, my Steed (he chose that name) very quietly spoke into the phone, I think we have to end this. I believed him, I didn’t believe him, I was sure it was a horrible mistake. I put his thought into the furthest recesses of my mind, and held on tight to a better outcome. It was just a snag. Hadn’t Charlie said on many occasions, We’re always going to be good...better than good, PatAnn. We will just put it aside and go on from there. That was Steed’s way. And yet, my tears and my spirit fell down and down. Who died? Who died? The grief and the loss grew with each day. My mornings became mournings. The days and nights were hell, because hell is surely isolation.

It’s been done before. Hello young lovers wherever you are. I hope your troubles are few. All of my wishes are with you tonight. I’ve been in love like you. Don’t cry, young lovers, whatever you do. Don’t cry because I’m alone. I’ve had a love of my own, like yours. I’ve had a love of my own!

Charlie and I met, not really by chance. It was via algorithms online where we were enticed to meet the love of our lives. We were a great match! We were hugely compatible on the levels that would mean much in a relationship. We appreciated each other’s intellect and wit. We were very passionate and able to express ourselves intimately. The two of us had strong family bonds. We both had creative talents. I like to sing and write. He acted and directed. Around age eight, Charlie astonished listeners by delivering a Shakespearean verse on the radio. Coincidentally, my young singing voice was also heard on the radio about the same age. I stood on a box to reach the mic, and rendered, The Holy City. At age fifteen, while Charlie was playing competitive chess with the likes of Norman Mailer, I was singing art songs on a televised talent competition. We recounted our stories, and delighted in our wunderkind past! We loved critiquing plays and movies we had seen.

I began to read our horoscopes, and I was not surprised to learn that Libra man and Sagittarian woman were the most magical union of the zodiac. We would never run out of things to say. We would be exquisite lovers. And so, we smiled at each other, exchanged long and fascinating e-mails, then graduated to the phone. Those first few calls were three and four hours in duration. Charlie called me first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

I fell in love with Steed’s voice first. He had me at those initial sentences. He sounded forty. (Did I mention that chronologically we were in our seventies?) His energy was wow! His vocabulary reflected that he was a Scrabble champ and a f*@#ing genius. He had my favorite sound…that of a New Yorker, with some dropped r’s. But if that weren’t enough, there were the speech inflections of a Jewish artist. Think of all the wonderful actors, comedians, musicians. Oh, I was a goner, and we had not even met! After that first call, I e-mailed both of my daughters and wrote, Holy shit!!!! I’m starting my diet tonight! And I did. This was a long-distance romance, with two states between us. The ominous one hundred and forty-seven miles were the only thing that could come between us, Charlie once said. But as we spoke on the phone, I mashed that phone so close to my face, and I instinctively began to secretly kiss it all the while Steed spoke. He sounded charming and refined, yet irreverent and hysterically funny. He was reminiscent of a sage like Merlin, yet he could be eight or eighteen. My birth years were being erased by the decades, and I felt no more than seventeen. Our conversations were sometimes promisingly sensual, a little teasing, but he was a gentleman, and I had to reign in my passions. I can be a church lady, but I also can be Bette Midler. I’m earthy, and Charlie dubbed me bawdy. I loved it!

One night I completely lost it with his hilarious stories. I was ever his best audience. I laughed until I was weak, with tears rolling down my chin. It was that kind of uncontrollable laughter that might send some ladies for the Depends, if they haven’t been doing their trusty Kegels. I thought I heard him say, Well, now I feel terrible. Now I feel very bad. I tried to empathize with him, be compassionate, but how could he feel so terrible when we were having such a blast?? I tried, with Oh, Charlie, how can you feel badly? and I’m so sorry that I can’t quit laughing. He told me, with such sincerity, that he felt terrible because now he had to meet me. He said he had to experience my spirit and my exuberance personally. I wasn’t laughing anymore. Did I dare to suppose that Charming Charlie would come to call…that I would be able to connect a face and a body to this altogether enchanting voice? Did he really say that?

The first time I saw you my heart whispered, That’s the one.

Anonymous

Chapter Two

In just a few days, a tiny piece of his e-mail read, I can clear my calendar and Can I come to see you February fifth through seventh? Buried amongst a string of e-mails, I almost didn’t see it, and later, Charlie e-mailed again to ask what I thought of his self-invitation. I told him, Yes, my calendar will be cleared in a flash for me to meet the nice Jewish boy! We had been talking and exchanging long missives for about six weeks now. He had begun to be quite suave and playful. The e-mails had ample promise in them. I was beginning to say with real conviction, This man gladdens my heart and wakens my soul. As a preview, he was saying things like, We can start with hot chocolate and things will just get better from there. I will never forget how he wanted to get under a soft down cover with me, and explore the down of my body … concluding with DAMN, I wish I were there now.

I was happy, albeit cool, in the days preceding February fifth. Charlie had some fear and trepidation, while I had only joy and excitement. He told me I was a better man than he! He had prostate issues and therein was some of the trepidation. If I can get it up, will you be delighted? I answered quickly and affirmatively. And, if I can’t get it up, will you be delighted? I said that absolutely I will be delighted, and then added that there was more than one way to skin a cat!

Charlie called to say that he was just leaving New York, and that he’d call again sometime en route. He ended his message with SOON! That word held many meanings, and I caught them all. My daughters were asking if I was nervous, and I said to the contrary because I felt that we already knew each other so well. I didn’t plan on wearing anything new, I don’t know why. The next time my gentleman caller rang, he was already in Pennsylvania! I asked, But what will you be wearing? Jeans, casual, full dress, what? I didn’t know if my attire would complement his, so I asked again, What shall I wear?

Charlie answered quietly without missing a beat, "As