Contact and Other Impressions

By Gerald R Stanek

Alex can’t remember where he is going, why he is going there, or with whom he is traveling. Seth can’t forget who he has been. Gloria seems to know what is about to happen. Liz is completely surprised. Joel believes there are complex requirements to get there. Rachel believes it is simple. Some think it’s a dream, for others it’s all a game.

We all know there is more to existence than what reaches us through the five senses. We feel it in our guts, our hearts, our bones. We know there is someone, something, or somewhere else we are trying to connect to, but are there forces trying to contact us? These seven stories track the progress of some fellow seekers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gerald R Stanek
• Release date: Mar 10, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370256235

Gerald R Stanek

Gerald Stanek has written numerous children’s books, several of which have been illustrated by his wife, intuitive artist, Joyce Huntington. The couple lived for a decade in Ithaca, NY, the setting of Gerald’s recent novel, Skirting the Gorge. An artist in residence stay in Sedona inspired The Road to Shambhala. He now resides in Ojai, CA.

Book preview

Welcome to the Club

You can always hear it first, long before the light appears, and that gives plenty of time. It’s like the ground is groaning under the weight of it, kind of grumbling, soft and low and sorrowful. And I knew that if I clapped my ear to the metal I would feel it coming on right through my skull, but I didn’t want to do that, because it’s cold, and one time I stumbled trying to get back to my feet, and there are only a few seconds to choose and pull the switch. I knew to stay off the steel. The levers would take all my strength. So I stood still when the time was nigh, and held my breath, and didn’t think at all but just listened, knowing the sound comes before the light, though they say the speed of light is faster, but it wasn’t like that there. If it’s quiet, you hear it first. Except that night some swells were tromping about nearby and their fool talk stole the quiet away. So I let my breath out and watched it move into the fog, and made my eyes just as big as I could so the light would know where to land, and got my feet ready. And then these fellas started asking me if I knew what was coming and where it was coming from and what number it was and where it was going, but I didn’t because I couldn’t hear it yet, and I couldn’t see the light, not yet, and I told them to be quiet but they went right on about what was I doing out there so late and where was my father and how come I didn't know and why was the ground so wet and before I could say boo they went right on at each other about the key and the door and something about the LDC. That’s when I saw it, beaming cold and clear, cutting right through the fog, and that’s when I knew it was the direct line, and I ran and jumped and pulled the big lever, hanging all my weight on it till it clicked and the wheels squeaked and the cables shifted, and the highbrows started in with their questions again; where was it going and wasn’t the water getting too high, and I told them it wouldn’t be stopping, it was going right on to the downtown center. The one fella said he would definitely be taking it, and the other should come on to the club, but the other said they couldn’t leave me there to drown, and I said no thank you, I’d be dead before I ever went downtown, and the other said you’ll be dead if you stay, and that’s when I saw what they meant about the water because it was up to our knees, and my little shack was floating away, but I wasn’t too worried because that’s when I knew it was all a dream."

So you became aware it was a dream before you were completely awake.

Yeah. Then those two gents latched on to the beam somehow as it came through, and they wanted me to go with them, but I stayed behind, and when the water got up to my neck I woke up.

Why didn’t you go with them, Robbie?

Didn’t trust ‘em.

And why’s that, do you think?

Well... same reason I don’t trust those types when I’m awake, he chuckled, Let’s just say they don’t speak my language.

Do I speak your language, Robbie?

Well, no, not really.

Yet you trust me, don’t you?

Sometimes, doc, Robbie qualified with a smirk, only sometimes.

I smiled. Here’s what I want you to do, Robbie. The next time you become aware that you’re having a dream, I want you to take affirmative action in that dream. Do you think you could do that?

But I did take action. I told ‘em no, and I stayed where I belonged.

I don’t think I agree with you; I don’t think that represents affirmative action. You made a decision in the dream, but you did not take affirmative action.

So you think I should have gone along with those two jokers, who were breaking all the rules, by the by. They were like... stowaways or something. That line didn’t even stop. They weren’t supposed to be just hitching a ride out of there. Cowards.

So you were being brave to stay behind and face the flood.

Yeah! I wasn’t going to abandon my post.

Yet you weren’t brave enough to stay in the dream. You came out of it to save yourself from drowning.

Yeah, well...

You see Robbie, this kind of dream, where you become aware of the dream, is called a lucid dream, I informed him gently.

I know, I’m not stupid.

I apologize, I didn’t mean to imply that. But a lucid dream can be a very valuable tool in helping one to change patterns of behavior which might be difficult to address in real life. Do you see what I’m getting at?

I guess, Robbie said doubtfully.

"Because I don’t believe it is cowardly to save one’s self from drowning, even if a few regulations are broken in the process. And I think sometimes we can’t see the help being offered, or we don’t trust the offer, but everyone needs help now and then, and whereas everyone might not be trustworthy, surely it is also true that everyone is not untrustworthy."

Right... he drawled absently. Then a subtle recognition lifted his brow. I get where you’re going with this. Like sometimes I shoot myself in the foot.

I think when things have gone wrong in the past, we forget that things might just as easily go well in the future, or the present. I would like you to be able to trust more, not just people, but the whole process of life itself. And perhaps a good place to start is in your dreams. The next time you find yourself in a dream, facing a difficult dilemma, maybe you could do the opposite of what you think to do first. Take a chance. See where it leads you. I’m not talking about drastic changes to your life, only in your dreams. Okay?

Okay, Doc. I’ll try, he said, But really, how much control do I have if I’m asleep?

You’ll be surprised, Robbie, I said, And now I think our time is up. I will see you next Thursday.

If I haven’t drowned by then, he chuckled.

I smiled back at him and held the door open. When he had left the office, I looked at the notes I had made: patient taking suggestion well, sense of humor returning, deep-seated fear of change, cold light, through my skull, train metaphor—Emanations, key, door, LDC. I could see it all clearly on the pad, but I had no recollection of writing it. Through the window I saw him shuffling slowly across the street in the rain, head down, a picture of dejection, the lost boy. Beside the window in the corner was a tall narrow chest of rosewood with fine brass fittings and intricate inlay on the seven drawer fronts. The desk, too, was adorned with geometric tessellations done in bone, ivory, and mother-of-pearl. I put the notepad in the desk and locked the drawer, then I put the key in the tall chest. I donned galoshes and a heavy overcoat, then turned down the lamps. It was all very formal; hat and gloves, a brass-handled walking stick and an umbrella.

I left the building; it was an old granite office building with steep steps down to the curb. Everything was slick with rain and shimmered gold in the glow of the streetlamps. I meandered about the city in the pouring rain, unsure of my intended destination. I was expected at the club, but I was concerned that you were waiting for me, that you would be worried. The streets were nearly deserted; it was very queer. Nothing looked familiar. Crooked and terraced old town alleyways led me in circles. I crossed a dozen little stone bridges, then realized there must be only one or two and I had crossed them several times, so I stopped on one, and leaned over to watch the water rushing and rising below, and there was a small boat heading underneath, and, get this, painted on the bow were the letters LDC."

Oh wow.

It was like a lightening bolt, he continued, It hit me so hard, I think my body actually jerked in reality. I remembered those letters from the notepad, and instantly understood that I was dreaming, and that I should take care what decisions I made, now that I was aware that it was all a dream, for what I chose would not only affect the remainder of the dream, but also my waking life.

That’s incredible. So what happened? What did you choose?

I chose you, Em. I chose to remove myself from the circular windings of those alleyways. I jumped into the boat.

Oh my God.

It went under the bridge; everything was dark, like a tunnel. Then I woke up, he concluded.

I love you, I said. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to turn over into me and heal us both, but he didn’t. He kept staring at that spot on the ceiling, as if the dream were still playing there like a movie on a screen. I didn’t want to disturb him, because I knew that feeling of wanting to stay there where things seem possible. I knew how seriously he took these dreams, how much he valued them above all else, how he considered them a kind of contact. I put my hand on his chest. He closed his eyes. I watched him fall asleep.

After a few minutes I eased out of bed and slipped on some clothes. King was laying there in front of Rob’s door again, as if he had heard something in that room, as if he might have come home in the night. It was just as pitiful as it had been every morning for the past eight months. He lifted his big muzzle as I tiptoed past, but didn’t whimper or follow me. I used the downstairs toilet, I remember, and didn’t flush, and when I left the house I guided the screen door shut so it wouldn’t slam. It was a brilliantly sunny morning. The grass glittered with dew. I headed down to Donetti’s to get some crullers, the kind with the maple frosting that he loves. An orange tabby winked at me from atop the white railing of a forest green stoop as I passed, and I suddenly knew they would be all out of crullers and I would have to get bear claws, and he would ask me why I didn’t get crullers, and I would have to tell him about the forest and the wink and the glitter and the screen and the toilet and the king in the spot on the ceiling and the jumping boat and the rain and the Mothers of Pearl and how could I ever remember it all, but before I got to Donetti’s I saw that the space on the corner was finally let, and I just had to go in. On all the windows were the roman numerals for 450, but I knew that couldn’t be the address because Donetti’s was like 9009. The place looked like a mattress store; there were beds all in a row and some made up with comforters and some even looked like they were occupied, and I remember wondering if they were manikins or real people, and I thought I heard someone suggest that the only way to tell would be to get in with them, and I laughed, and said I had to go because he would be waiting for me, and now I had to remember about the manikins and the romans as well as the jumping boat and the orange railing, and as I was turning to leave to get the maple syrup I saw the chest in the corner, and I had always wanted a seven-drawer chest, but for Rob's room, so now it didn’t really matter, but I went over and it turned out to be like one of those collapsible cups my mother always had in her crocodile mouth pocketbook with the life supply of pills and the compact watercolor pans and the rabbit’s foot. I mean by the time I got to it there was only one drawer, so I opened it and inside that drawer was another drawer, so I stepped in and opened that one, and inside that drawer was another drawer, so I climbed into that one too,