Irrevocably Gone: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

By P. O. Dixon

From almost the first moment Mr. Darcy beheld Miss Elizabeth Bennet, his heart was irrevocably gone. But will he admit it? What will it take to make him realize he wants to spend his life with her? A proposal from another man? A second proposal from yet another?

What of Elizabeth? Will she obey her own heart’s yearning? Can she afford to wait for love?

Thousands of delighted readers helped make A Tender Moment a #1 Best Seller in Classic Short Stories.

§ And now, the story continues...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Regents and Cotswold Book Group
• Release date: Feb 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781540185792

P. O. Dixon

Bestselling historical fiction author, P. O. Dixon, is a great admirer of Historical England and its fascinating days of yore. She, in particular, loves the Regency period with its strict mores and oh so proper decorum. Her ardent appreciation of Jane Austen's timeless works set her on the writer's journey. Visit podixon.com and find out more about Dixon's writings.

Book preview

Chapter 1 ~ Such a Prospect

Hertfordshire, November 1811

A frantic dash through Longbourn’s halls ended triumphantly when Mrs. Bennet found her husband in the library with his head buried in one of the many books scattered about on his desk. If three-and-twenty years of marriage had taught her anything, she would have known he did not wish to be disturbed, especially at that particular moment. Alas, not being inclined to learn such lessons, the lady of the house approached him directly.

Wringing her hands in her apron, one which she donned more for show rather than functionality, for she was not inclined to do such menial tasks as housework, she cried, Oh, Mr. Bennet!

The gentleman did not bother to look up from his book.

Mr. Bennet, said his lady to him once again, this time with more urgency in her voice, you must allow me to tell you what happened at Lucas Lodge.

His eyes trained on the page before him, he responded, No doubt you mean to tell me which lady wore what and who shunned whom. Can it not wait just a while longer? At the very least until I finish this chapter?

A determined matriarch whose business in life was marrying off her five daughters, she placed her hands on her hips in defiance. It most certainly will not wait, and as it pertains to Lizzy, the one daughter to whom you are always giving preference, you will want to hear what I have to say just as eagerly as I wish to say it.

Indeed, of Thomas Bennet’s five daughters – all of them out in society and neither of them married – his second eldest, Elizabeth, was his favorite. There was a quickness about her that none of her sisters possessed. With no sons to divert him, much less inherit his estate which was entailed to the male line, his second born child was Mr. Bennet’s greatest consolation.

Known for his dry humor and sardonic wit, the gray-haired patriarch peered over his spectacles at his wife. Lizzy, you say?

I knew the mere mention of her name would command your attention.

Mr. Bennet turned his book face down on the desk and leaned back in his chair. Indeed, you have my undivided attention. Pray, do not keep me in suspense.

I have reason to hope that Lizzy has an admirer and one who happens to be from a most unexpected quarter, I might add.

You speak as though such a prospect comes as a surprise to you.

Why, I am more than surprised. I declare I am completely flabbergasted, as you, too, will be when you learn the gentleman’s identity.

Now that you have sufficiently prepared me to be amazed, I beg you to reveal this mystery admirer’s name?

It is that proud Mr. Darcy! Mrs. Bennet exclaimed with energy.

Her husband scoffed. Surely you are mistaken for I know with certainty that Lizzy does not even like the gentleman, owing to his insulting remark the evening of the Meryton assembly—words to the effect that she is not handsome enough to tempt him, if I recall correctly.

Indeed, you do recall correctly. Mr. Darcy said our Lizzy was tolerable, which explains why I now find myself completely at odds over what to think or how to feel about this new development.

What evidence do you have to support your suspicions that the proud Mr. Darcy’s opinion of my Lizzy has changed?

"Why, he danced with her, for one, when he might have danced with any number of single ladies in the room, including his so-called intimate friend, Miss Caroline Bingley."

Already fatigued by his wife’s raptures, Mr. Bennet took a deep breath and blew it out just as quickly. Drawing himself up to his desk as though he meant to resume reading, he said, Is this the sole basis for your theory?

There’s more. The two were seen speaking to each other on the balcony afterward. Mr. Darcy even raised our Lizzy’s hand to his lips before parting.

Mr. Bennet arched his bushy brow. Then, what you are saying is that Mr. Darcy is a true gentleman after all. Shall we have the banns read?

I did not say he offered his hand in marriage—at least not yet. But I do believe such a prospect is not beyond the realm of possibility.

Ah! From dislike to like, from like to matrimony so easily as that. The rapidity of the inner workings of the female mind never ceases to amaze me, especially when the future of a single gentleman of large fortune is at stake, he said in jest, barely able to mask his amused expression.

You may laugh at me all you like, but you will not dampen my spirits one bit. A mother knows these things after all. Mark my words; there will be not just one but two weddings at Netherfield in three months or my name is not Mrs. Francine Bennet.

You will pardon me, my dear, if I do not celebrate just yet, for I do not know precisely what your assertion portends. Either I will gain a son-in-law, or two, or I will not have had the pleasure of calling you my wife for the past couple decades.

A woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper, who fancied herself as being of a nervous constitution when she was discontented, she cried, Oh, Mr. Bennet! How you enjoy vexing me, but it simply will not do, especially today.

Pray, what makes today different from any other day?

Did I not tell you? Lizzy is expecting a gentleman caller today. Turning on her heel, she proceeded to quit the room. Reaching for the doorknob, she looked back and faced her husband. It is Mr. Darcy.

Chapter 2 ~ A Convenient Excuse

When Jane strode into the bedroom she shared with her sister Elizabeth, a delightful smile spread across her angelic countenance.

Lizzy, she said, I certainly did not expect to see you. It is early still. I have never known you to return from your morning walk so soon. Jane sat on the bed beside her sister and took Elizabeth’s hand in hers. "Could your shortened ramble have anything at all to do with the expected arrival of a certain distinguished gentleman?

Although, she began, her voice tentative, I confess I am not completely satisfied by your explanation for the sudden change in your opinion of Mr. Darcy.

In truth, Elizabeth could scarcely comprehend it either. However, she could not be nearly so bothered to understand it all as was her sister. She rather supposed a tiny part of her thought somewhat fondly of the gentleman from the start. Their conversation on the terrace at Lucas Lodge the evening before had been so enlightening. Just the remembrance of the way she felt when he kissed her palm was enough to make her heart flutter hours later.

Now, he is coming to see me.

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy was the last man in the world whom she would have expected to call on her at Longbourn. Just thinking of all the harsh words that she had spoken against him to anyone who would listen to her complaints about her perceived defects in his character gave her cause for regret.

I complained to my friend Charlotte that Mr. Darcy is no doubt the most miserable man in all of Derbyshire. I disagreed wholeheartedly with Jane who defended him, positing he was an honorable, respectable man who was merely shy. I even agreed with Mama in her adamant contention that Mr. Darcy is haughty and above his company.

Oh, how earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions of the gentleman had been more reasonable, her expressions more moderate. It would have spared her the awkwardness she now felt.

Pray my mama and my younger sisters, Kitty and Lydia, will say or do nothing that will give Mr. Darcy reason to suspect how unforgivingly I have spoken against him since his arrival in Hertfordshire.

Turning to her sister, Elizabeth said, I dare not deny that I did not always think so favorably of Mr. Darcy as I do now, but in such a case as this, a good memory is unpardonable. She squeezed her sister’s hand. Now, Jane, you are much too generous to disagree with me, and therefore you must promise me that this is the last time either of us shall ever remember anything I might have felt in the past. Do I have your promise?

Smiling contentedly, Jane nodded.

I knew I could rely on you. That said, Mr. Darcy merely asked for permission to call on me. None of the particulars were established. Who is to say the gentleman did not awaken this morning and upon realizing what he had done, changed his mind entirely? He may very well be halfway to London as we speak.

Not that I would fault him.

While he had made it clear that he did not hold her in contempt, he had made no such claims about her mother and her younger sisters. She shuddered a little in remembrance of her family’s behavior the evening before: Mary’s insistence upon exhibiting—her performance fodder for censure and derision. Added to that was the specter of Kitty and Lydia flaunting themselves in front of the officers in attendance. Finally, there was her mother’s tacit encouragement of the girls’ antics.

I dare say no one can accuse Mr. Darcy of being inconstant, Jane said. He strikes me as someone who knows his own mind. If he said he will come, then he will come.

Jane only saw the good in people—a trait that Elizabeth did not always deem admirable, but in this case, she wanted nothing more than to share in her sister’s generosity of spirits.

If indeed he does come, I must also prevail on you to help temper our mother’s behavior. I also ask that you stay close to my side when Mr. Darcy arrives, Jane—unless of course he comes with Mr. Bingley, which he very well may. I doubt an armed militia could prevent Mr. Bingley from calling on you with such a convenient excuse as accompanying his friend.

By that same logic, I suppose it is also possible that Caroline might call on Longbourn as well. She may very well consider it her duty, said Jane.

It vexed Elizabeth exceedingly that her sister was utterly blind to Caroline Bingley’s pernicious ways. She cried, Pray she does not. I know how much you like her, Jane, but I shall never share your good opinion of either Caroline or her sister, Louisa Hurst. Indeed, I would rather Mr. Darcy break his promise to call on me if his being here means I am to be subjected to Caroline’s company.

Chapter 3 ~ This Tender Regard

Darcy entered the paddock alone. He had not waited for his friend Bingley to accompany him on his morning call to the Bennets for fear that Bingley’s younger sister, Caroline, might discover his plan and insist upon joining them. Because he was staying at Netherfield with his friend and because Caroline was presiding over her brother’s table, she supposed she was one of Darcy’s intimate friends. She could not have been more mistaken, but as he had done nothing to elevate her hopes, he felt little inclined to deflate them.

He immediately recalled the conversation the evening before when their party had returned to Netherfield after the previous evening’s gathering at Lucas Lodge.

You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner—in such society; and indeed, I am quite of your opinion. I, for one, was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise—the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!

Your conjecture is totally wrong, he had uttered in response to Caroline’s teasing retort, meant once again to disparage her brother’s new neighbors. He had concluded by saying, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.

It simply would not do for him to let her know he had promised to call on the young lady who had the credit of inspiring such a telling reflection. Poised to enter Longbourn Manor for the first time ever, Darcy reminded himself once again what he was about.

I would never forgive myself if I did not explore this tender regard I suffer for Miss Elizabeth.

Soon enough he was shown into the parlor where six women of varying degrees of beauty and poise stood awaiting him.

We are honored by this visit, Mr. Darcy. How considerate you are indeed, Mrs. Bennet said as soon as all the usual civilities were exchanged. However, where is your friend, Mr. Bingley? Pray he has not returned to London again.

Bingley remains at Netherfield, replied Darcy.

That is welcome news indeed. Why, soon on the heels of his initial arrival in Hertfordshire, he was unable to accept an invitation to dinner here at Longbourn because he was obliged to be in town the following day. I was beginning to fear he might always be hurrying about from one place to another and never settled at Netherfield as he ought to be.

Darcy knew not what to say in response to Mrs. Bennet’s declarations, and thus he remained silent. Caroline Bingley’s shrill voice teasing him on what a charming mother-in-law the woman seated across from him would be would not be silenced: And, of course, she will always be at Pemberley with you.

He shook his head imperceptibly to clear away such thoughts. It is one thing to entertain such notions as a means of vexing Miss Bingley, but it is much too soon to countenance these sorts of ideas at such a time as this.

And what about you, Mr. Darcy? Is it your intention to remain in Hertfordshire for very long, or will you soon be returning to your own home in Derbyshire?

Darcy cleared his throat. My plans remain unfixed. That said, I do not anticipate leaving anytime soon. Here, he paused a moment and gazed at the second eldest Bennet daughter who was sitting too far away for his comfort. Certainly not so long as I have ample reason to stay.

It secretly pleased him when he noticed the undeniable object of his admiration color.

Capital! Mrs. Bennet exclaimed. As if touched by a stroke of genius, she cried, Lizzy, my dear, what a pleasant morning this is to go to Oakham Mount. It is a nice long walk, and Mr. Darcy has never seen the view, I am sure. She looked at the gentleman, and in response to his silent confirmation of her speech, she continued, Mary, Kitty, and Lydia, I insist you join your sister and our guest.

Each of the three younger sisters objected to this scheme in their turn, concluding