Land of Fears (A Shadow Walkers Novel)

By Lee Hulme

In the past, a young Isabel is given to Department E by her parents, once they realise she can go dim. Subjected to unpleasant tests, chafing against the boundaries placed on her, Isabel needs help to find a way to escape.

In the present, Isabel has been brought back to Department E by the Shadow Walkers, to care for her while her consciousness remains trapped in the Land of Fears.

Dealing with with the loss of their ancient mage, Menw, and the birth of the half-demon Antranig, the Shadow Walkers hunt for a way to bring Isabel back, before the imaginary fears manifest too far, and kill her for real.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lee Hulme
• Release date: Mar 30, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370404063

Lee Hulme

Lee has been telling stories since before they could write, and writing them down since the moment they learned how. A character-driven writer, Lee loves to devour and create stories in any format available, and loves to turn ideas on their heads. They have no problem admitting that they laugh and cry with their characters - except for when they do it in public.

Book preview

Land of Fears

A Shadow Walkers novel

by

Lee Hulme

Foreword and catch-up

This is the second in a series of novels following the Shadow Walkers.

Most of these novels won't be following on from one another but, this being the second, and the first having been left somewhat unresolved, I thought it would be useful.

So, if you've either never read To Tame The Wolf, or you have but forgot it already and don't want to read it again just to remember where it left off, here's a quick recap:

The big bad demon, Bian, escaped from his prison, along with his hybrid son – his mother is Jodhi, the werewolf. Cue big fight, during which Bian is defeated. Hybrid gives himself up and Sansé, another werewolf but somewhat more evil than Jodhi, is captured. Both are given to Department E, a shadowy, top-secret, government agency with overtones of evil management, but some good people on the inside. And Jodhi, in a moment of compassion for her half-breed son-by-rape, names him Antranig.

It's a victory, for the most part. But Menw, the centuries-old wizard has been killed. And Isabel, the young woman the Shadow Walkers were trying to protect, had been kidnapped by Sansé and sent into a half-physical, half-psychological place called the Land of Fears, where all fears ever born are being set loose on her mind and body.

This is approximately where we left them last time. So join me, and let's continue our journey: into the past; into the present; and into the Land of Fears...

Chapter 1 - past

You're doing the right thing, the short, squat man said as the child was carried, screaming, from the house.

The child's parents clung to each other on the sofa; pale, wide-eyed and trembling.

The squat man bowed and, without trace of sympathy, left with his henchmen – and the child.

The child was stored in the back of a black panel van, sandwiched between two stone-faced guardians, and the reinforced panel door slid closed with a deafening thump. Once in the dark the child stopped crying. It was as close to being invisible as she could manage, since her mum and dad had started making her take those horrid little pills every day. She listened to the two men breathing, felt their large hands gripping her arms with strength that could snap her bone with a simple twist, felt how their presence seemed to fill the van, suffocating the air until it seemed she couldn't breathe. She felt her throat close and her breath catch in panic and she began to over-compensate, forcing in huge gulps of air until her fingers and toes tingled and her head swam.

She fell forwards in a faint and one of the men caught her before she hit she floor, pulling her back up with a grunt and cradling her head in the crook of his elbow. He let her stay there when she woke, comfortable in the smell of deodorant and old leather.

When the van pulled to a complete halt at last, it was the same man who took her hand and led her, trembling, out of the van, through a blast of cold outside air and into a drab, grey building.

She walked where she was led, this frightened 8 year old, through endless dull, identical corridors, watching the scuffed charcoal shoes of the squat man shuffling ahead of her.

When they stopped walking she looked up automatically. In front of them was a blank wall. The child watched, curious, as the squat man pressed a small plastic card to the wall, which blipped once, rumbled and slid smoothly back on itself.

As she was led onwards again the girl cowered back from the black walls which seemed, somehow, to be giving off both light and a pleasant heat, broken only by the occasional small object sticking slightly out from the wall.

After many twists and turns the squat man stopped and used his card in one of these objects. The wall opened, the black material seeming to evaporate as a door appeared and slid open with a small whoosh, and the child was gently nudged inside.

Stay here, the squat man said. Somebody will visit you shortly...make yourself at home, he added the last after a pause, pretending amiability.

The door closed, leaving the child alone. She turned to face the room and her sharp blue eyes widened. She was in a nursery, similar to the one she slept in at home only due to the presence of a child-sized bed. The rest of the room was huge, painted in pale green. One half was stacked with toys, crayons, picture books and more that made her mouth drop open in amazement. There was a doorway that she sidled close to and peeked in to see a kitchen – opening the cupboards and fridge revealed food, ready-prepared for her tender tastes.

She returned to the toys and eyed them carefully without touching. The squat man had said somebody would come to see her soon. The child hoped it was her mum and determined to be good – she picked up a colourful book with lots of pictures and some text and sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, a small frown of concentration creasing her fresh, young face. She was still lost in the story when the door opened, startling her out of reverie.

Mum? the word fell from her lips before she could register that the newcomer was a stranger.

He was smooth-faced and fair-haired, wearing neatly creased khaki-coloured chinos, brushed brown suede shoes and a long white doctor's coat over a grey cashmere sweater. When he smiled it was kindly, but the child backed away when he took a step closer to her. She didn't trust his eyes, which remained a flat, cold blue, untouched by the expression he wore to try and comfort her.

Hey, hey now... he said. His voice was as smooth as his skin and emotionless as his smile. The child backed as far into the corner of her bed as she was able, curling up by the headboard and watching him carefully.

I'm not going to hurt you, he told her, perching on the edge diagonally away from her. Nobody here wants to do you any harm. We're here to help you. Your parents gave you to us so we could help you.

The child turned her face away from him, acknowledging nothing, opening her book again and pretending to read, actually staring blankly at the pictures. Eventually he stood up and quietly left the room. She watched him go. He pressed a button that was too high up for her to reach and the door opened.

The child studied the room again, her eyes coming to rest on a small plastic chair. She walked over, her footsteps light, and pulled the chair across the floor, positioning it under the switch. Climbing on, she had to stretch, but hit the button and hopped back off the chair as the door slid open.

She peered carefully out into the corridor, sure that somebody would be waiting to usher her back inside, but saw nobody. Remembering nothing of the way she had been led in, instead the girl turned left and headed deeper into the complex, her frightened eyes darting constantly back and forth. Quickly she became hopelessly lost in the maze of corridors.

Halfway up a corridor she suddenly heard voices coming around the corner in front of her. She froze for a second then turned and ran the other way, rounding another corner just in time to run headlong into a stocky figure who gave a surprised 'Oompf!' and caught hold of her arm before she could run elsewhere. Woah there, little one. Where you going so fast?

She recognised the voice and smell of aftershave and leather and looked up. It was the man who had stopped her from fainting and held her hand all the way through the building. He held it again and waited for her to answer.

She shook her head, unable to form words and unwilling to try harder.

He nodded. Right then. So if it's the guided tour you're after, you might as well come along wi' me, he waited for her small nod before once more leading her by the hand. You got you a name, little one? he asked.

The child nodded but still said nothing.

He laughed. Alright, keep it for yourself a bit them. Now what we have here is Department E. It's a big, secret place is this, only the most special of people ever get to work or visit here – so I s'pose you're a bit special yourself, eh?

Isabel nodded. She knew she could do special things, though she had been told it was bad and now they had made her unable to do anything at all.

Well, now, the man went on, carefully shortening and slowing his strides to match the girl's pace. My name's Marcus anyhow – you need me anytime, you just ask for me or dial 471 on the little phone, should be right by the button to open the door.

The girl thought and remembered something shaped a bit like the wall telephone at home and nodded.

Good girl. Now then, what's to show a little thing like you? I'll bet you like flowers, hmm?

The girl nodded cautiously.

Then allow me to introduce you to the gardens, he led her on, twisting through more identical corridors. Most of these rooms I can't show you. Some of them you'll see in time. But I tell you what, I bet if you and I asked nicely we could get you your own patch of garden to play with, eh? Ah, here we are then, Marcus nudged the girl before him through a set of double doors.

The garden was enormous, set directly in the centre of the building and covered by one-way glass that let in just the right amount of sunlight for the flowers to photosynthesise and stored the rest as solar power. The grass was green and the flowers bloomed brightly. Latticework, fountains, gazebos and statues gave comfort to the gardens and the light brown gravel pathways that crunched softly under the girl’s tentative footstep. Her mouth was open in awe and her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Marcus followed a step behind her as she was drawn irresistibly farther in, gazing in wonder at the statues, holding a tiny hand under the running water from a fountain. She bent to flowers to sniff their scent and they bent their heads to her that she might experience their beauty in full.

Eventually tired, she perched timidly on a bench and looked up at Marcus, patting the seat beside her. He sat and she gave him a radiant smile.

He smiled back at her and patted the hand that was still cold from the pool of water in the last fountain.

She regarded him solemnly for a few moments, all traces of the smile replaced by a thoughtful expression. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, My name's Isabel.

He accepted the gift of her name with a small nod and a smile. Thank you.

There she is! What the hell do you think you're doing, man! boomed a furious voice.

Isabel yelped and Marcus put his arm around her protectively as the owner of the voice stopped, casting his bulky shadow over the pair of them.

The bosses are looking for that one. Give her over. Come on, Isabel was yanked roughly to her feet and dragged away from Marcus, both of them helpless and stunned.

Isabel was dragged all the way back to her room where the burly man closed the door and stood by it, snorting bull-like through his nostrils. So, you’re a clever little thing, are you? he kicked the chair Isabel had left by the door switch. These rooms weren’t built to be prison cells, but I can see you bear more careful watching than most. There will be a guard posted outside your door. If you need to leave this room it will be on our say so only and you will be escorted. Everything you require should be in this room, if you need anything else then you may ask your guard who will pass on your request for approval or denial at our discretion. Stay inside this room. Do you understand me?

Isabel nodded. She understood well enough, at least. There was to be no escape. But she still had Marcus, so she said nothing, simply looked dumbly at the bull-man and waited for him to speak at her some more or leave her alone.

He grunted, snorted again, bashed the door switch with a gnarled hand and left, the door sliding smoothly shut behind him with a quiet hiss and a gentle, yet definitively final, thump.

Isabel stared miserably at the closed door and thought about phoning Marcus. But then she thought maybe the bull-man would be going to yell at him next. So instead she curled up on the strange bed closed her eyes and imagined she was at home.

***

Isabel woke groggily some time later, from a dream of home. Her room, her toys, her bed with the yellow quilt and the chipped headboard where she had fallen while trying to fly into action saving Bongo the Bear from the clutches of the evil Alligatron. The drone of the TV downstairs and occasional interjected conversation between parents. The traffic passing underneath her window, the cough of a passerby. She missed them without knowing what she missed, just an empty place in her head where something ought to be but wasn't. Tears came and she buried her head in the crook of her elbow and shook them free.

The door opened and she raised a red, puffy face to see the man with the doctor's coat and the eyes that didn't match his smile had entered. She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Now, now, there's no need for tears, hmm? the silky voice made his words false and Isabel stared at him and sniffed again. He offered a white hanky, neatly folded, an withdrew it with a slight frown as it was ignored. Come on, now. You can talk to me.

Isabel kept staring at him, a sullen set creeping into her small face.

The man sighed and stood up. Fine. Don't talk then. Just follow me.

She shook her head and tucked her hands into her armpits when he tried to take one.

I don't want to have to drag you, girl, but I will, he threatened.

The guard outside the door cleared his throat and murmured something. The doctor man nodded and the guard stepped out of sight, murmuring now into his walkie talkie.

Isabel and the doctor watched each other carefully for a few minutes, until a figure that was becoming familiar appeared at the door.

What's this I hear about you causin' trouble? Marcus grinned and shook his head.

Isabel gave him a small, sheepish smile.

A minute, doctor West? Marcus asked and the man left, closing the door. Marcus sat by Isabel and gave her a little sigh. Doctor West says you're refusing to go with him?

Isabel nodded. I don’t like him, she whispered.

Why not?

She shook her head, unable to express what she felt, and said nothing.

Will you go with him if I go too?

Go where?

To a special room. They want to find out all about that special thing you can do.

Will it hurt?

Marcus hesitated then bowed his head. Some of it might. But it’ll be worse if you keep being stubborn.

Isabel thought about this for a while, her small brow creasing in a frown of concentration. If I go, will you stay with me?

If they'll let me, Marcus stroked her hair with a meaty hand. Come on.

Isabel stood, slipping her tiny hand into his. Marcus. I’m scared.

He looked at her sadly. I know, sweetie. I know, he opened the door and led her out. "She'll come, Doctor West, if I stay with her.

Fine, he nodded, all pretence of paternal affection gone, turned and walked briskly down the corridor, not stopping to check he was being followed.

Isabel half-ran to keep up, Marcus edging her along apologetically.

When the doctor stopped, it was at a section of wall with two card slots. He nodded Marcus towards one. In there.

Marcus opened the door and took Isabel inside. The room was small and grey. One wall was a large mirror which Isabel eyed curiously, sensing watchful eyes. There was a table and a chair in the centre, a jug of water and a glass on the table.

Dr West's voice spoke from nowhere, making Isabel jump. Sit in the chair, Isabel. Marcus, stand where you must but not in front of the mirror.

Marcus nodded to Isabel who sat in the chair. It was too big for her and she swung her legs, touching the ground with the tips of her shoes. She looked tiny and lost and frightened and a momentary flash of anger passed through him.

Now, Isabel, Dr West's voice came again. You've not taken your medicine for a couple days.

Isabel’s hand flew to her mouth, remembering.

It's ok, Isabel, that's what we wanted. I want you to do something for me. I want you to make yourself disappear, can you do that?

Isabel glanced at Marcus who nodded. It’s alright. You’re allowed. Go ahead.

Isabel nodded, closed her eyes, clasped her hands and bowed her head. After a few moments she looked up at Marcus who cocked his head questioningly. Isabel shrugged, darting a fearful glance at the mirror.

What's the problem honey? Marcus murmured.

I don't know, Isabel murmured back.

Well? Dr West spoke again.

We're not sure, Doctor. Could the medication still be in her system?

Unlikely, it fades quickly. But possible I suppose. The girl obviously isn't made quite the same as the rest of us. There was a pause. Try again.

Marcus crouched by Isabel and patted her hand. Give it a go.

She nodded and hunched up as small as she could, concentrating fiercely, thinking the word ''invisible'. Marcus saw her flicker, ever so slightly, but she remained.

Sorry, she whispered.

It's okay, he whispered back. Sorry Doctor, I don't think today is a good day for magic tricks.

Fine. Fine, he growled, frustrated. Then we'll skip straight to some tests. Stay there.

They waited quietly for a few minutes. The room was deathly silent but for their breathing and the occasional tap of Isabel’s shoe swinging across the floor.

Doctor West's voice made them both jump. Meet Nurse Aggie.

The door opened and a short, plump woman with raven black hair scraped back into a bun and a grimace-fixed face that looked as if a smile would shatter it entered, pushing a trolley covered in a white sheet.

Nurse Aggie nodded a curt greeting at Marcus, still crouched by an even more frightened Isabel. Then she folded back the cloth.

Isabel took one look at the contents of the trolley and dived off the chair, before realising she had nowhere to run to and clinging to Marcus instead.

He studied the tray, stroking her hair and feeling her terrified shakes. What in the world is all that for? he asked.

The nurse glanced at her tools. Blood tests, muscle tests, eye and ear tests. The usual, she said in a voice that grated like gravel, that of a long-time chain-smoker. Give me the girl. She said.

Isabel clung tighter, her arms wrapped around Marcus' neck.

He shushed her. Come on sweetheart. The nurse needs to do some tests. I know it's scary but it'll be over soon, and I bet Doctor West will let you go out and do some gardening in the plot he's had cleared for you.

Isabel raised her head and looked at him.

Come on, little one. Ill be right here, I'll even hold your hand so you can squeeze real hard if it hurts, OK?

Isabel slowly allowed herself to be prised loose and re-seated in the chair.

Sorry we don't have a proper little bed and all, Aggie crackled. Wasn't supposed to be doing this just yet, she shuffled closer, the trolley following. Roll up a sleeve, girl.

Isabel rolled up the sleeve on her right arm, her hand returning immediately to the safe grip of Marcus’ own.

Aggie shoved the sleeve up further and fastened a small, padded strip around it tightly. On the side was a small LCD screen and a button which Aggie pressed. The strip tightened and Isabel gripped Marcus' hand a little harder until it loosened incrementally before exhaling itself all in one. The nurse produced a hand-held computer and touched the screen with a stylus, saving the results before removing the strip and replacing it with a tourniquet, tapping the small arm for a vein then rubbing it with a sterilising swab.

Isabel flinched when she saw the needle, a small butterfly made especially for children, and turned her face away, looking at Marcus and begging for help with teary eyes.

He shook his head. I'm sorry, he whispered.

Aggie inserted the butterfly needle without ceremony, attaching a small tube which quickly filled with dark red liquid. She took a sterilised dressing from a packet and pushed down hard on the needle before pulling it out, ignoring Isabel's pained gasp. Hold that there, Aggie ordered and Isabel reluctantly removed her hand from Marcus' to obey.

Aggie waited to be sure the vein had closed and removed Isabel's hand, slapping a small plaster over the tiny needle wound. There, that's the worst bit done for now, she said, labelling the blood sample and tapping the stylus again on the screen. Now then, just relax. This won't hurt unless you make it, she began tapping reflex points with a small rubber hammer, tapping the small computer again after each test. When she was done she gave an approving nod. Good girl. Okay now let's have a look at your eyes, she picked up what looked like an eye mask and held it out. Put it over your eyes now.

Isabel did as she was told, her hands trembling as she adjusted the mask for comfort. It had a similar LCD screen and button on the side as the blood pressure pad.

Now then, just going to take some pictures of your eyes. A couple of bright flashes and maybe a bit of discomfort, but sit still and let it be. Yes?

Isabel nodded slowly, her hand clenching into a fist that Marcus stroked and held in both of his.

Aggie tapped her computer again and waited a second, then she pressed the button on the side of the mask. Something whirred gently into life and Isabel stiffened, clenching her jaw then squeezing both of Marcus' hands with both of hers.

How long? he asked Aggie, his jaw working hard and a frown knitting his brow.

Aggie checked the computer screen. 43 seconds left. She's fine, don't worry so much, this has been used many times on many test subjects.

And how many times on terrified eight year olds? he shot back, his eyes showing protective anger.

Aggie ignored him and watched the seconds count down. There, she said at last. All done. Take the mask off, girl.

Isabel handed it back, holding it by the edge as if it would bite, fighting back tears.

Good girl. That wasn't so bad, was it? without waiting for an answer Aggie picked up two small earplugs. Now the ear test. Put these in.

Isabel hesitated.

Come on, girl, put them in. You'll hear a few beeps, then we're all done and this one doesn't hurt a bit.

Isabel bit her lip and inserted the earplugs.

Aggie tapped a few times on the computer and looked up. Isabel had flinched at the first beep, but relaxed. Aggie nodded, pleased, and watched the screen for a while. Eventually she tapped it with the stylus again. All done, take them out.

Isabel handed the earplugs back carefully, making sure not to touch the hard skin of Aggie's hand. Aggie merely grunted and covered up the trolley again, storing the pda in a pocket. I'm done, Doctor West, she said.

Good, good. Came the reply. Off you go, then. You too, Isabel – Marcus, take her wherever she needs to go.

Aggie shuttled out of the room in a hurry.

Yes, Doctor. Marcus took Isabel's hand. So, what shall we do? Something to eat, then I'll show you the bit of garden we've got for you if you like.

Isabel gave him a faint smile and a nod.

Alright, off we go then. What do your taste buds feel like eating?

Isabel waited until they were out of the room, away from Dr West’s listening ears, before replying. Sausages and eggs and chips.

Well, lordy, girl, you'll be the size of a house in no time! he spoke quickly into his walkie-talkie and received an affirmative. The food will be waiting in your room. Suppose I get to cook, then.

Isabel nodded. Yep, she tugged on his hand. Do I have to do all that again?

I'm afraid you probably do, little one. That and more things.

If I'm good and do everything they want, will they let me go home again? I want to see my mum.

Marcus shrugged his wide shoulders. I don’t know, sweetheart. I really don’t.

Isabel fell silent the rest of the way back to her room.

Chapter 2 - present

Isabel, 36 now and long gone from those first miserable days, was back inside Department E. That is to say, physically she lay in a bed in one of Department E's private hospital rooms. Mentally, she was elsewhere – anywhere, everywhere. Scene after scene played itself in her head, manifesting occasional physical wounds, and regular bouts of screaming as she felt and lived out every fear, every phobia, every terror and every nightmare that mankind's infinite darkness had ever envisioned – either for itself, or for someone else. Isabel resided now in the Land of Fears.

During her periods of relative calm the doctors and nurses watching over her around the clock would inject fluids and sustenance directly into her veins, often having to find a new one when, in her panics, she tore the catheter free with a gush of blood, quickly stemmed by her carers who dared not strap her down any more after she had torn through straps, padding and cord and injured her wrists, ankles and breastbone in struggles against chain-linked metal.

So far all stimulants – medical, physical and telepathic, had failed to rouse even a flicker. Although, had Isabel in fact been drawn out of her hell to find herself once again seemingly imprisoned in Department E, she may well have not noticed the difference. As it was, some of those scenes that played themselves to her featured heavily this place of so many half-repressed memories and forgotten nightmares.

But they did not know this. These were not the people who had known the child, the pre-teen who had escaped their grasp. They