They Call Her Petal

By John Burnham

The action tale has a long history in fiction, examples include Mickey Spilane, Bulldog Drummond and James Bond. Heroines of such tales were few till recently, when film and tv has brought us, amongst others, Xena, Dark Angel, Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight, and of course Wonder Woman. But nobody, as far as I can tell, has brought us female villains, so I have. A female villain, whose like a Bond super villain, other than being female, and her gang of sexy female felons. It's a short tale, with lots of action (okay, violence) but not intended to be taken to seriously.
The plot is that a sexy super bad girl, called Serena, leads a gang of lady crooks who do, well, lots of crooked things, as crooks tend to. The cute but tough Petal, aided by two equally tough sisters called Popsi and Pepsi, bring their abominable activities to an end. With their fierce fighting skills this trio of crime fighters leave the bad girls in need of a lot medical attention! And there's a few jokes as well.
It's a short story, but an illustrated version will follow in the future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Burnham
• Release date: Jan 24, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370694242

John Burnham

Hi I'm John and I write spoofs of popular genres. Actually it's illustrating that takes up most of my time, I have sold quite a lot of my art., especially illustrations of pretty women. Now I'm turning my creativity to writing. And a bit about me. I'm a normal, well reasonably, guy. Love music, especially rock, walking in the country side, and other normal activities. I love drawing, and though I've never attended art college I've done quite well as an illustrator and have a fair sized online fan base. I think we are all potentially creative and if you put in enough effort you can produce something worthwhile. Contact me at [e-mail] That's all folks.

Book preview

They call her Petal

Published by John Burnham at Smashwords

Copyright John Burnham 2017

This book is available in print at most online retailers

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1. Thank you for your Co-operation

Chapter 2. The big Caper

Chapter 3.Serena

Chapter 4. Job Creation for Surgeons

Chapter 5. Bankers and Killer Babes

Chapter 6. Guns and Patty

Chapter 7. When Killer Babes Collide

Chapter 8. We've got a plan, and a Catapult

Chapter 9. They've got a Plan

Chapter 10. End Game

Chapter 11. More end Game

Chapter 12. The very, very, very end

Thank you for your co-operation

Ooh I'm sexy! A grinning Clara wiggled her hips as she spoke.

You're fat Replied the young woman who accompanied her.

Some guys like a full figured girl Ruby, and you just wish you weren't so skinny.

The reality was Clara was not fat, but a curvy lady, her figure accentuated by firmly fitted pale blue underwear, that, apart from tan coloured stockings, was all she was clad in. With short blonde hair, she looked like a model from the sixties. Ruby, meanwhile, was a tall brunette, her hair long and wavy, and while her figure was not as full as Clara's she was certainly not skinny, and the red mini-dress she wore, clinging tightly to her body, made that apparent.

Talking of men who like fat, sorry, full figured, Ruby grinned, that guy Bernie sure liked you.

Yea, I didn't even have to go to bed with him to get what we wanted, which is, Clara smiled wistfully, kind'a a pity. He's cute.

Y'know Clara, I'm amazed that pussy of yours isn't worn out through over use.

Clara put her hands over her crotch and wiggled her hips. Yea, can't get enough. But we've got the passwords to the bank account on cd right here, she tapped a small case on the table, so let's get on the computer and make ourselves a little bit richer.

Ruby grinned. If it's not sex on your mind, it's money.

The sound of the bedroom door opening interrupted their conversation, and another woman entered the room.

Hi. The newcomer greeted them. She was a young woman, probably mid-twenties, about five foot four inches tall, with light brown coloured hair down to her shoulders, and casually dressed, in grey jeans and blue top. I'm here about the bank account details you nicked, That's the money of a charity, and stealing from charities isn't nice. But I expect you're both full of remorse, so if you'd just hand it over I'll be off.

Both woman stared at the newcomer for a second. Who the hell are you Ruby's voice was raised, and how did you get in here?

An ex-boyfriend was a burglar, he's reformed now, but he taught me a few tricks. As to my name, people call me Petal, as I'm as sweet as a flower. Or so they say. She smiled.

Ruby's handbag was on a shelf near her, and after picking it up she pulled a gun from inside it. Well, my little flower, you're about to be plucked.

Well and truly plucked, Clara added, amused by the play on words.

Get a sheet from the bedroom Clara, Ruby instructed her colleague, and we'll use it to tie her up. She grinned broadly, staring at Petal. "Did your boyfriend teach you to be an escapeologist? And don't worry, once we’re out of the country we'll call the cops to come and set