The Zombie Hamlet

By Hilary Thomson

Hamlet is your ordinary, everyday prince of Denmark. His father’s been murdered, he’s going insane (or not), and he needs to shame his mother, kill the scheming uncle who has usurped his throne, and wipe out half the people in his vicinity to regain his kingdom. But when zombies erupt in Elsinore, his goal becomes even more improbable.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Pongid Press
• Release date: Jan 20, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310779039

Hilary Thomson

Hilary Thomson is the author of The Zombie Hamlet and A Will to Murder. She is currently working on a number of other writing projects.

Book preview

The Zombie Hamlet

by

Hilary Thomson

Dedicated to William Makepeace Thackeray and Bret Harte.

Copyright © 2013 by Hilary Thomson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Cover art © 2013 by the Pongid Press

ACT I. SCENE I. The Graveyard of Elsinore Castle at night. A pile of earth lies next to a hole for a grave.

Francisco at his post. Dirt flies out of the hole. Enter Bernardo. A moan comes from the grave.

Francisco [looking about nervously]: Who’s there?

Bernardo: Have you had quiet guard?

Francisco: Oh, it’s you. Not a mouse stirring.

A hand reaches out of the hole, clawing. Enter Horatio and Marcellus.

Bernardo: Ho! Who’s there?

Horatio: Friends and liegemen to the Dane.

Bernardo: Get thee to bed, Francisco. Give you good night.

Francisco starts to leave, and a zombie seizes Francisco’s ankle and drags him into the grave. Disgusting noises come from the hole.

Bernardo: Is Horatio there?

Horatio: A piece of him.

A dismembered hand flies out of the grave.

Marcellus: What, has this thing appeared again tonight?

Zombie Francisco climbs out of the grave. He looks around for his missing hand and tries to reattach it.

Bernardo: I have seen nothing. What, Francisco, not gone home? Stay awhile, then.

Marcellus: Horatio says this dreaded sight is but our fancy.

Horatio: Tush, tush, ‘twill not appear.

Bernardo: Here, Francisco, hold my pike for me. Let us assail your ears what we have two nights seen.

Confused, Francisco takes the pike while Bernardo makes ‘big fish’ gestures. The Zombie King climbs out of the grave.

Marcellus: Look! It comes again! Thou art