Deja True: 2016 Election Postmortem

By Clifton L Bullock Jr.

When reality and dreams are difficult to perceive, it's important to pay attention. The only difference between is the being conscious in one state while in another, you are subconsciously interacting with the universe. When your higher you becomes woke, you ask yourself – if you remember the details– which is which.

Have you ever felt you've lived a moment that's presenting itself again?

When you realize, do you pause to prevent what happened in the dream or prevent what may not have been? It's an asked question since forever.

The question also was asked by James Porter, a historian, scholar, and award-winning author of Falling Asleep with Dreams and Connected at the Roots. James had to inquire because he couldn’t believe he was involuntarily forced into one of the vilest, bizarre criminal cases to happen in drought-stricken Bay Area. All because he penned life into stories swept underneath the lumpy rug of American history. He paired with Kwabena Farmer, a detective from the Oakland Police Department Missing Person Unit, who was forced to acknowledge his demons in order to help James. Together, they used clues strategically left by the wicked offender, clues taken from history and pages pulled directly from Connected at the Roots.

To work the case, Farmer needs to catch up on James’ work all while using the historian as an ally and a direct source. They go down a spiraling path that awakens truth and exposes America's hypocrisy from its founding creed, the story of Recy Taylor, even the Union’s bargaining agreement with the South using the 14th amendment. While discovering this, they discover more about themselves, and when they do, they learn not everything is what is seems, but everything is presented purposely to hide the truth.

Join them while they determine what's real, and what's a dream all while solving an American nightmare. Learn the difference between reality and Deja True.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: Sep 15, 2017
• ISBN: 9781619847231

Book preview

Deja

True

Clifton L. Bullock Jr.

Columbus, Ohio

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters and events in this book are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Deja True

Published by Gatekeeper Press

3971 Hoover Rd. Suite 77

Columbus, OH 43123-2839

www.GatekeeperPress.com

Copyright © 2017 by Clifton L Bullock Jr.

All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any parts within it may be sold or reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

ISBN: 9781619847248

eISBN: 9781619847231

Printed in the United States of America

To my wife Tasha who is the soul of my heartbeat and the rhythm of its music. I love you immensely.

To My Mom and my Pop. Thank you for life, and

I thank God for your lives. Live beautifully!

To my son Clifton III and my daughter Naila, with everything that I am, with what I dream to be, and

with what I couldn’t be, I love you with all that

I am. Continue to be great!

In Loving Memory

Acknowledgements

First, I would like to thank the Highest Power for ability, patience, and drive to complete this project and for being ever present. I want to thank my wife, Tasha. Thank you for being loving and honest with me and for not leaving when the storm came. I love you so much. Thank you to my parents for everything. If I attempt to list everything, I for sure will miss something.

I want to thank my friends, some who I've known since my middle school days, for their undying support. The encouragement, the status shares, the retweets, the cashier's checks, even the inbox messages telling me to keep going, they mean more than you know. Special thank you to my brothers Damion Farms, Bryan Kirby, Randy Davenport, and my kinfolks Kevin McMillon for everything. It means a lot to me for my people to believe in my dream. Special thank you to Mike Wamungu for seeing the vision. I would like to thank Rob Price, and all the people at Price World Publishing and Gatekeeper Press who worked with me over the years.

I also want to thank the people Herbs in San Jose, California for providing quality herbal essences and a welcoming environment. Special shouts to everyone out there doing it for the Culture. Last but not least, I have to show love and appreciation to the cities that raised me. Shout outs to Homestead, Florida, Warner Robins Georgia, Washington, DC (Anacostia) and the entire Bay Area from Fairfield to San Jose. Peace and Love.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Epilogue

Chapter One

James was exhausted. The hour and a half flight from Charlotte wasn’t that bad but the layover in the heart of Dixie—Atlanta, Georgia—was. He just wanted to get home. Being away from his wife was taking a toll on his body in many ways. Mainly he hadn’t had one of her home cooked meals in a week’s time. That was usually the result of being away to speak at universities. Being a writer meant a lot of travel time away from the family. His fraternity brother from Alpha Phi Alpha Incorporated had put him in touch with the dean of literary arts at North Carolina A and T University and scheduled him to speak on this latest book, " Connected at the Roots." It was a number one best seller for about 8 weeks now and he wanted to take advantage of any opportunity he could to talk about it. Not to mention, the $75,000 advanced payday for his appearance at NCAT was handsome enough to encourage him to make the trip.

His wife Ida always hated for him to leave for long periods of time. Maybe it was insecurities of infidelity or maybe she really missed him. but this was an offer he couldn’t refuse, and since she wasn’t working yet, and still finishing up her residency at the University of California, San Francisco she wouldn’t dare ask him not to take advantage of every opportunity that came his way. This trip in particular was different for them both. After James graduated from Morehouse and moved to the California to chase his dreams, he always felt there was a special obligation to get back to the south and speak to young men who where he once sat. Since Ida was from Los Angeles, she felt it would be better for them both to mentor young men from around her way.

James didn’t mind this, but anytime he could get back to the land of red clay and Waffle Houses he would take it in a heartbeat. He felt an obligation to the youth where he was from, not just specifically Batesville, Mississippi, but to the entire South. Young black men there needed to have the ones that left with success come back with the same success to show that it’s obtainable. They needed to know that, Yes, I walked the unpaved roads here and left but I didn’t forget. Yes, I speak with a southern drawl and left but I didn’t forget. Yes, I graduated from Morehouse and left but I didn’t forget, and yes, I moved away but I never forgot. He wanted to do this for them and for himself. So, when his brother reached out to come back he had to take it. It was his first time back in the South since his uncle’s funeral some years back so it felt good to be where he was. Maybe that would be one step closer to making it back to Batesville one day. Maybe. But first he had to get home.

He was finally able to give Ida a call as he waited at the gated terminal for his flight. Hey Honey, I’ve missed you. How goes it? James said.

It goes how it goes, baby. I’ve missed you. How did everything go? Ida asked. She was glad that he’d called because she had some news for him.

Everythang is good. I’m glad this happened. The look in the eyes of those young men was worth every red cent to fly across country. The 75k isn’t too shabby either. You feel me? he said with a laugh. He was in a good mood. He was tired but in a good mood. Once boarded and in the air, the long 5-and-a-half hour flight was the last leg of the trip before getting back home to his wife.

That’s good, honey. Let them know that not only football players and rappers make it out of the South and you don’t have to be a filthy, dirty politician to make your way out either, she said. She was his biggest supporter, next to his mother and father. She was his biggest supporter and he was hers.

That’s right, baby. Even if you come from little ass Batesville, he said with a hardy laugh. How is everything back Frisco way? How is school? he asked, trying to hold in his yawn.

Everything is great, baby. I finished another segment of my residency program. After being in school all these years, this part seems to be the longest. I’m ready to be an M.D. already! she said.

It’s coming baby. Just hold your mule and be patient.

Hurry your ass back home to Cali because you haven’t said some country-ass shit like that in years, Ida said with a laugh.

The chaotic background noise caught his attention. I see you got jokes, he said. What’s going on in the back there?

Oh nothing. I’m just in the kitchen fixing up a nice dinner for you so when you get home it will be ready to eat. I just put the roast in the Crockpot and 6 hours is more than enough time to get it how you like it.

The thought of Ida’s cooking made him salivate. It was a good thing he didn’t have to speak because he’d be lost for words. Oh Lawd, baby. What’s the special occasion? Don’t you have some test to study for?

I’m all studied up and I’m ready for my coming up exam so I’m fine and you ask what’s the special occasion? Well, if I told you over the phone then you’d have to wait even longer to eat your favs. Just come home safe and I’ll tell you.

Okay baby . . . I can’t wait for it. I mean the news, that is. I’m in the lounge at my departure gate terminal. I had to come in here for a little bit of serenity, get away from the hustle and bustle chaos of this busy airport. My flight isn’t for another two hours so I’ll try to get some work done while I take down a few cocktails.

I hate how they require you to check-in so early as if you’re flying international. It’s fucking California—a part of the United States of America, Ida said.

Or occupied Mexico, depending on who you talk to, James said as he loosened his tie. He felt like he wasn’t going to get as much work done and instead might squeeze in a few minutes of shuteye. The lounge had inserted the new Nap Pods and he was going to test one out. The VIP staff said that you could set an alarm for a 25-dollar fee. Which seemed fitting since they didn’t allow you to use your cell phone inside of the pod.

Occupied Mexico, huh? Is that from your book, Mister Best Seller? she asked.

Yep, it’s from my next one. I’ve been doing more research on the annexation of Mexico’s California.

I can’t wait to read it, baby.

I can’t wait for you to read it either, Sugar. But enough about books. I think I’ve talked enough about them for the last few days to give it a break. What’s the occasion for my favorite dish? It isn’t my birthday and it’s the middle of the week, James said wiping tears from his eyes. The tears weren’t because he was so emotional over the meal but he had just yawned so hard that his tear ducts almost exploded. His body could no longer fight off exhaustion.

Well, I won’t tell you everything, but just know that it’s good news for you, for me and for Braxton. I want to tell you so bad but I want to see your face the moment you hear the words.

Is it what I think it is? Tell me, baby. Is it what I think it is? Am I going to be a Pop? James asked?

What else could it be? He and Ida had been planning to have a baby for some time. The doctor said that anatomically and biologically everything was perfectly fine, but they still hadn’t conceived yet. Sure, the delay had allowed her to damn near complete school and James completed another novel but they would both give up any of their successes to have their first child together and Brax, their Weimaraner-Shepard mix would have a companion around the house.

I don’t know, maybe, Ida said. Then she snickered. She didn’t want to confirm this to him while he waited at Hartsfield—Jackson International but his guess was right. She’d been feeling sick the last few weeks. The early morning runs to the restroom to spew up the midnight snack. She woke him once when she stubbed her toe on the corner of the doorway, filling the night with expressive paroxysms. Fucking son of a Bitch! Goddamn it!

She remembered him saying, What’s wrong, Sugar? Those are some pretty colorful words at 3:26 in the morning.

I’m sorry to wake you. I had to rush blindly to the bathroom and I stubbed my pinky toe on the doorframe. I hope it’s not broken because I have a lot of walking to do tomorrow.

Are you okay? Do you need to a go to a doctor?

I’m okay baby, go back to sleep. It might just be the chimichangas from last night coming back to haunt me, she said as she got back in bed.

From the airport, she heard him yawn over the phone. Well, I’m excited and I can’t wait for the news, he said, yawning again. This time he caught her attention. She knew he was tired and didn’t want to be selfish. Though she loved him dearly, sometimes she felt that she wasn’t pulling her weight and it bothered her that he was accountable for all their responsibilities. She had a hard time with the situation.

Ever since her mother had passed a few years back, there was something in her that made her obsessed with being determined. Determined to vanish away from those who cared only to be loved by those that could care less. They were there but as soon as she needed them, they left, and so did their friendships. She called them farewell fuckers. All right baby, I hear you yawning. I won’t be selfish and keep you on the line but just know that I love you more than anything. Get some rest and then get home to me. Safe and sound. Okay?

Wait, Sugar, you mean more than ANYTHING?

Well, almost anything. Braxton still trumps you, she answered with a laugh. James smiled too and chuckled.

That’s my dog, he said and then both graced each other with I love you’s. It was always his favorite part of the phone conversations with her.

Not that he enjoyed getting off the phone. Her voice was like the cool of the Oakland Hills air on a Bay Area summer night. It was the way she said goodbye. No tears over here, see you soon, my dear.

He loved it. It was her all wrap-in-one saying. It said, I’m strong, I’m sure. I believe. So, it was that reason he loved to say goodbye because he remembered that’s who and how she was before the day that even God regrets.

All right sugar, I’ll let you go but know that I can talk to you forever. You’re my California Girl.

Thanks baby, and you’re my Mississippi Country boy. No tears over here, see you soon, my dear.

See you, sugar. And the line went dead.

Ida, ole Ida, James said as he shifted his body in the Nap Pod. He loved his wife so much. If there was ever a woman he owed his success to, it was her. Sure, his momma was there to support him during his adolescent years and beyond, but that’s what she was born to do. Mothers are born to give us birth and also give birth to the one who will love us more than they ever could. That’s what James believed and that’s why he knew that when Ida lost her mother, that’s when she would get that itch to want to be a mother herself.

She was born to give birth. She was born to give birth to a child who would be able to love and give life. They’d been talking about having a child for a while but he wanted to finish a few more novels before they did in order to create a life cushion for his baby and family. He didn’t want their family to grow like his did with a consistent worry about money. He didn’t want that to be but since he did what he did to reach the peak of success, he felt he owed it to Ida to do the same. That’s not always the same for a woman.

For women, love and relationships are what they are, raised as a young woman to have, to like him and to take care of him. Make sure you’re pretty and sweet and submissive and let him know that you and he are the most important thing. They don’t ever think about the other side of the coin. A man is taught the same things as youngsters as the women are. Be a man, it’s a man’s world, you are the head of the household. You can do what you want. Remember Daddyo, it’s a man’s world. Then they go and break hearts and change minds when they find out that that’s not the case. He feels that’s what he did to her. She could have gone to M.D. residency a little earlier but if she did Connected at the Roots would have never happened nor would Falling Asleep with Dreams.

The first novel came when they both were in the prime of their academic and professional careers. They both could have advanced within the ranks but he felt that his book was priority and realistic. The guilt he felt would always encourage her to follow her dreams now since he didn’t encourage them earlier. Medical school was the dream, becoming a doctor would be the reality, but to be a mother was what she wanted more than either. So they could achieve what her mother achieved, the one person who will love you more than anything whether you are there every day or every once in a while.

He owed her a future and the news that she was pregnant with his baby was his payback. A little girl that looked like a black-a-pino princess with silky hair and ebony skin like her momma but the gift of gab from her daddy to tell the boys to back the hell up. He gave her back that gift. He didn’t tell her that he also had plans to stay home and be a stay-at-home dad once she gave birth. He knew this for a while. He was just waiting for her to declare the news. So it was coming, the days of them talking about a little boy with long dread locks on his head as a baby and the sound of Miles, of John, and Cannonball soothing him to sleep on a cloud of peace and culture.

Miles would be his name and Lena would be hers if she came and that would be his time to allow her to be what she was to him. He would support her while she inched the meter stick to advance and then they would truly be equals and partners.

All these thoughts were on his mind as he sat and pondered the news that would be revealed. For now, he finished his well vodka tonic with a twist of lime to add zing and then provided his credit card information to sleep with an alarm in his pod. He put his phone in the phone box and laid back with his eyes closed. The Nap Pod began to create a cloak of comfort while it tilted at a 45-degree angle and allowed him to silence his yawns and relax. It was time to get some shut eye and rest before his long flight back west. He began to yawn again as the mystical realm of hypnosis slithered around the cabin until it placed him under its spell.

Exhaustion and over-thinking had taken their toll and relief from shuteye was what he needed. The dark of eyelids was the last state of memory before drifting into sleep. Then came that lasting impact of the moment in a dream that isn’t immediately remembered unless a nightmare wakes you in the night. That was his thought as he faded into sleep, his life, his thoughts, and a prediction of his dreams and sometimes their opposition. He would become a dad. He would become a thought; he would become a dream. She would become a success. She would become, his comfort. But first he had to rest and then make it home to where she was, to get her to make this a reality. It was time for some shuteye.

Chapter Two

W hat is your problem?! I’m doing the best I can! I don’t work as hard as I do to come home to this bullshit! What do you want me to do? James was obviously frustrated. He felt that regardless of what he did, Ida was either not happy with the effort or the effort wasn’t enough. This might be the worst argument they’d ever had. Ida wanted to spend time with him before she had to leave for her residency shift at the University of California, San Francisco. She knew that if he didn’t pause

from whatever project he was working on now she wouldn’t see him for the next six days and after that he’d leave for North Carolina.

James, how can you be this way to me? I am your wife! If I want to spend time with my husband, damn it I will. Why are you being like this? Don’t you miss me? Aren’t you going to miss me?

James couldn’t answer the question. He had work to do. He was under a deadline that had already been extended. The extension caused him to lose $15,000 off his advance. There goes another dent in Miles’ college fund. The notes for the seminar still hadn’t been written either. Luckily the NCAT administration had agreed to pay him a partial advance. If he was going to do anything, it would be to collect his thoughts and finish his latest project. He didn’t have time to go with Ida and Braxton to the San Joaquin Miller Park.

Since he was the only bread-winner, he figured the least he could do was sit in his office with his Miles Davis discography while he sipped on his aged cognac. The break he gave himself to look up and look out the window, view the Bay waters and the soon-to-be-setting sun was the only break he needed.

Baby, I’m sorry if it seems that I’m disconnected and distant. You know about this deadline just as well as I do. What do you want me to do? Miss another deadline? This house doesn’t pay for itself and neither do the cars and meals we eat. We want to have a baby soon and what kind of man would I be if didn’t work to make sure our child is taken care of?

That would be his ultimate plea for her to give him space. He didn’t want to remind her that the reason the last extension was needed because she wanted to go back to Los Angeles to attend her cousin’s baby shower and she didn’t want to show up without him. He could have brought his work with him but the same argument that he was having now would have been the argument they had before they gassed up the new E class Mercedes at the gas station and drove the rest of Highway 24 heading to the Eastern Shore Interstate 80 mixing bowl before heading to LA.

He wouldn’t tell her this because he didn’t want it to be on her mind at this time. He didn’t mind providing for the family and she didn’t mind the lavish lifestyle that his best seller status allowed them but she had to let him work for it if he was the only one doing it. He didn’t need this on his conscience, eating at him like salt water at the base of Venice; slowly and methodically. That was the last thing he needed. He made that promise to her that he’d support her but again, she had to let him.

You don’t think I want the best for us as well as our child? What kind of wife do you think I am? What kind of mother do you think I’ll be? I’m so angry at you I could, I could . . . Ida said in complete dismay.

That’s not what I mean and you know it. Just let me get to work, please. I can’t focus with you and all your drama! James said. He couldn’t believe that he actually raised his voice at his wife. He had vowed he’d never be that man, especially after the way he grew up. He never saw his father hit his mother but God knows he heard enough yelling and screaming while in his room. Jump if you wanna jump. You won’t ever do it again. Now jump! he remembered hearing his dad say. Usually these episodes came after a conversation started over the check book.

You must have lost your fucking mind if you’re raising your voice at me, James. I’m not one of the characters in your little books. The ones who don’t have feelings. I’m a real relatable person. Don’t ever raise your voice at me ever again.

I’m sorry, I’m under a lot of pressure and I’m trying to do everything right and it just seems like it’s always about what you want to do. What gives? James asked with a shrug. Look, I’m sorry I raised my voice. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry we don’t spend enough time together. I get it. I’m sorry for that too. I’m sorry that things aren’t the best right now, but you have to either let me focus and finish this project so we can get paid, or get a job and pull your own weight. It’s simple as that.

Before James could lasso the words, they were in the air, in Ida’s ears, heart, and brain. She said nothing else. Her mouth wouldn’t let her, but he saw that she wasn’t done. Her tears silently cascaded down her face as her heart dropped to the floor at a faster rate of speed. With as much pride as she could muster, she did an about-face of 180 degrees and walked away.

James sat and watched her but said nothing. What could he say? He’d been holding in these feelings for a long time, even before the baby shower. Yes, he loved his wife but there were times when he wondered if she loved him the same or whether she needed him the same. She loved him yes, even after all that they went through during college, but how would anyone be able to live the life she was living while in medical school without him? It was his work that had given her the ability and comforts to just go to school and focus on her residency, and when she was on her own time she could drive that Mercedes in the best fashion to make statements.

Connected at the Roots sold well and made the best-seller’s list but he felt that it was his talent that paved the way, not the sob story he told her to make her feel good about herself. The fact was that she didn’t even know how to cook until they started to go back to Mississippi and visit with his mother. They would be eating meals like quinoa, tofu salads, and sushi, so maybe she owed him for that as well. James thought maybe if she knew he felt this way, she would do less complaining about how he spent important time finishing work to pay for her lavish lifestyle.

James grabbed a decanter of cognac from the top shelf of the walnut finished curio cabinet. He read the engraving on bottle, then put his head down. The stress was building up before his deadline and it was taking its toll. He couldn’t believe he’d hurt his wife’s feelings the way he had but he needed to finish this project. He read the engraving out loud as his tears fell