Far From the Surface

By Wide Hogenhout

Led by his dream of moving freely in all directions, and a legend that is told in many versions, Udag leaves the village where he grew up and becomes the pupil of Danas, a mysterious woman living on a small island who agrees to teach him how to dive while holding his breath.
He learns to dive to greater and greater depths, and enters a new world where humans are only briefly tolerated. The key to the obstacles he finds on his way often turns out to be his own mind. But as he gets closer to his goal, he also gets caught up in unresolved conflicts of Danas’ past.

Far From the Surface is a novel about freediving, acquiring and losing sense of belonging, identity and searching for happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wide Hogenhout
• Release date: Dec 2, 2017
• ISBN: 9789082789607

Book preview

Prologue

‘Don’t worry. I’ll find you a place where you belong. At least, until you discover too much about yourself.’

Udag had whispered it while standing over a simple box – a makeshift cradle – on a kitchen table. The baby in the box was asleep. It was in the early hours of the morning, and it was still dark except for a first hint of light appearing in the sky outside.

He had entered without making a sound, apart from his heavy breathing. The fig trees, the enclosures for the animals, the door – he knew them perfectly. His body was sweaty and smelly as he had travelled in a rush, and he carefully avoided touching the baby with his dirty hands.  As he stood there the shadow of a woman appeared in the doorway behind him.

‘So, you came back.’

She spoke in a calm voice - clearly not surprised by the man in her kitchen at that hour.

‘Of course.’

‘She didn’t tell you?’

‘I had no idea.’

She walked over and stood on the other side of the box. Now he could see the traces of her face in the faint light. Behind her the shelves with the collection of jars, pestles and mortars, the bottles with liquids.

‘It seems you’ve been very busy’ she said.

‘Yes, I know, I was away for too long.’

She nodded and cautiously pulled up the baby’s blanket.

Suddenly tears were streaming down Udag's face. He grabbed the edge of the box. ‘Was there no way you could save her?’

‘It was either the mother or the child – I had to make a choice. I’m sure this is what she would have wanted.’

‘But this way -’

‘It was one or the other. And the child has its whole life in front of him.’

Udag went to the sink to wash his hands and face. When he had finished he softly ran his fingers over the blanket, careful not to wake the baby.

‘I’ll take the child with me.’

‘No, please not yet. He’s being fed by a woman who’s just had a baby herself. She has enough milk. It’s better we keep it that way for a few months. After that you can do as you see fit.’

He sat down on a chair and rested his face on his arms, exhausted and paralysed. His breathing had returned to normal.

‘He?’

‘Yes, he. Come, I’ll prepare you a place to sleep.’

He sat there slouching over the table. ‘Actually, I’m starving.’

She swung her hand upward to indicate she didn’t find it important. In the box they heard a soft cry. He stood and picked up the baby. ‘I’ll take care of you. Don’t you worry.’

‘Where will you live?’

‘I don’t know yet.’

She took the baby from him and started rocking side-to-side.

‘I’ll make you a bed. Take some food if you like – you know where to find it.’

Chapter 1

The harvest celebration was one of the highlights of the year, and for as far as Udag could remember he’d been waiting impatiently to take his place at one of the long tables in the middle of the village. Every year he ate from the most delicious dishes, laughed at the jokes, and danced. As a small boy he had danced with his mother and aunts, who tried to teach him the right moves, and with other children his age, randomly turning and jumping around.

This year, however, things were different. He had grown into a young man and was expected to help, and so he walked around carrying baskets of fresh fruit and bottles of wine. He worried about the health of his grandfather, who seemed hardly able to enjoy the day. A woman who lived at the end of his street insisted on discussing with him where she was to leave the cookies she’d baked. Somehow the event that once had seemed an amazing day of abundance, now felt uninspiring.

It was possible that others recognised the reason for this shift in attention better than he had himself, because late in the morning when Pukam woke up and came outside to help her mother with the decorations, he couldn’t keep his eyes from her. The line of her eyebrows, the way her hair danced on her shoulders when she walked, the smile across her face when she saw something amusing – everything about her seemed to put him under a spell.

As tradition would have it, the young men played a game before the meal. And so, for a short while Udag forgot about everything and ran around, trying to conquer trees for his team by hitting them with a ball. Like most of his friends he had fun showing off his abilities, and didn’t care too much about which of the randomly assembled teams won. No one ever really cared about that. He was sweating when it was time to stop and join the long table.

Even though his mind was somewhere else, he could not resist tasting a few of his favourite dishes. The stew with goat meat his uncle had made, the fish with almonds from the family who lived at the highest point of the village, the stuffed aubergine his mother had prepared – he tried a little of each.

His mother, who kept walking around unnecessarily to see if everything was in order, told him to go and check on his grandfather. He walked over to the house where his grandfather lived and went inside.

‘Grandfather, how are you? Will you join us?’

The old man was lying in his bed and squinted at him. ‘I am too old for that sort of thing. And I’m in too much pain. The best thing is to just stay still like this.’

‘But you have to eat. What shall I bring you? You like the honey-bread, don’t you?’

‘I’m not hungry. Just bring me a bottle of wine.’

‘You know father says you should not be drinking.’

‘I don’t care what your father says. He doesn’t tell me what to do and you can tell him to get lost. I won’t live much longer anyway, so at least let me have fun while it lasts.’

Udag returned with a bottle of wine. He wanted to help his grandfather, but the old man was suddenly quite able to pull himself up against a pillow. Leaning back, he quickly drank his first glass.

‘You should go now, boy. When I was your age I wouldn’t miss anything of such an event. Did I tell you about the time I danced with the old lady who lives near the well? She was a beautiful girl back then. It was before she became such a sour person.’

‘Yes, you told me. She remembers the story quite differently, by the way.’

‘Don’t listen to her. She has a troubled memory. Anyway, leave me here with my wine and go back and have fun.’

He was about to leave when his grandfather gestured for him to come back.

‘You know, when I say you should go, I don’t just mean to the celebrations. You’re old enough now to travel. You should see something of the world. More than you’ve seen until now, in any case. Where would you like to go? What are your dreams?’

‘I’d love to be able to fly like a bird.’

His grandfather had probably hoped for something more practical, but it was what he did in his dreams.

‘Have you ever wondered what moves around more freely, an animal in the sky or an animal in the sea?’

’Surely a bird moves much faster?’

‘Try catching a fish with your hands, or swim with a dolphin that wants to get away. They can go very fast, when they want to.’

‘A bird can move in all directions.’

‘A bird has to make effort to fly, and it has to come down to rest. A fish can move in all directions, and can stop at any time.’

‘Well that’s nice, but I’m no fish.’

‘Neither are you a bird. But there are people who are able to go underwater and move freely. They move as easily through the water as a dolphin. You like swimming, so maybe that is something you should try. And perhaps that will be easier than flying.’

He frowned at his grandfather, and then he smiled. ‘I wish I knew myself as well as you seem to know me. But thank you for the suggestion. Enjoy the wine. I’ll go back now.’

He went back and sat down again at one of the tables. Most people now were finished with the desserts but remained at the tables, drinking coffee and wine, and talking as if they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Some were pleased as their dish had been quickly finished, while others were less happy because theirs was mostly untouched.

Those who had mastered a musical instrument quietly prepared themselves for the music and dancing to follow. Udag helped to clear away the tables and chairs to make space, and then sat down again and drank wine. He wasn’t in the mood for music or dancing.

Sitting quietly, he listened to all the people around him, until all the chatter made his head turn. A refreshing swim in the river suddenly seemed like a good idea. As he left the music behind, he was convinced the water would calm his mind. He soon felt the cold of it at his feet, then up his legs, and finally over his whole body as he pushed himself away from the bank. With powerful strokes he swam upstream until he got tired, and then he let himself float back to where he’d entered the water, only to start over again. Eventually, he let himself drift underwater, in a world of silence, cut off from the music. He often did this to calm himself, or to shake off worries or frustration.

Back at the celebrations his mother looked surprised. ‘Where have you been all this time? I’ve hardly seen you.’

‘I didn’t feel like being in the crowd, so I went for a swim.’

‘Why did you go swimming when we’ve so much to do? Come and help me with the dishes.’

Grudgingly he helped clean the dirty crockery, and then painstakingly retrieved more from the tables.

‘Why do we have to wash dishes while the party is still on?’

‘If you’ve time for swimming, you’ve time for washing dishes. The earlier it’s done the better.’

He could hardly argue against that and patiently did his part until it was finished. He stood near where the musicians were playing, and noticed Pukam sitting nearby looking bored. Finding courage, he approached her.

‘I feel like going for a walk. Would you like to join me?’

She gave him a playful smile. ‘A walk? To where?’

‘Wherever. The vines, if you like.’

She slightly raised her eyebrows, and got up without saying anything. Together they walked out of the village towards the hillside where the grapevines grew.

‘You don’t feel like dancing?’

‘No, not today. I guess you don’t either, as you decided to come with me.’

‘It’s too hot for dancing today.’

They walked up the hill, past the citrus trees that belonged to Pukam’s uncle, until they came to the start of the grapevines. Udag turned back to look at the village below them. Pukam followed his gaze and they both listened. The sounds of cicadas around them almost pushed out the faint sound of the music. He could smell the soft scent of the citrus trees.

He noticed her necklace; he hadn’t seen her wear it before. He traced it with his fingers – it was a simple chain with three pearls set a little distance apart. Who had given it to her? ‘Nice pearls.’

‘They’re from the sea, but you can’t find them where the river meets the sea. You have to go much further to another part of the sea.’

‘I’d love to be able to find pearls. If I could I’d give them to you.’

‘That’s sweet of you.’

They sat down, enjoying the view over the trees below them. She had a dreamy expression and seemed to be thinking of something else.

‘My grandfather thinks I should go and see the sea with my own eyes.’

She nodded and opened her eyes wide. ‘You should. Did you know the fish are different there? Here in the river you just see solitary fish. In the sea there are big schools of fish - each with thousands of them. When they move, they all move together. Just like that - nobody knows how they do it. It is as if they know by intuition when and how to move.’

He lay on his back. The clear blue sky gave him a sense of infinity. Would the world below the water surface be as infinite as the one above it? Did birds and fish divide the world between them, and was he mistrusted by both because he ventured into both sides?

‘That’s all there to see if I follow the river dow to the sea?’

‘The sea is big and there is a long coast. The place where the river meets the sea is just one of them, and I was told it’s not the nicest.’

He nodded and pushed himself up again. ‘Shall we go back?’

‘Yes, let’s dance.’

Back in the village they danced, and for a while he forgot the story she’d told him.

The idea of making a journey however came back to him all the more vividly the next day. He visited Pukam to ask her about it. Where should he go? Who would be able to tell him where to go? Where did she hear her story about the fish? Had she seen them? But she couldn’t answer many of his questions. She told him she heard it from people who heard it from other people.

Frustrated, he went home where his father was in the backyard, drinking coffee and fixing a broken basket.

‘Dad, I need to ask you something. Grandfather suggested I should travel. I’d like to make a trip to the sea.’

His father sighed and put down the basket, a wry smile across his face.  ‘Is that what he said?’

‘Yes. To be exact, he asked me what my dreams were.’

‘And your dream is to go to the sea?’

‘I told him I want to experience freedom, be as free to move like a bird in the sky. Or, as grandfather sees it, like a dolphin in the sea. Do you know of someone who could tell me the best place to go?’

His father stopped to think while rubbing his head. ‘Your grandfather has seen many places. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you more. I guess he wants you to experience it yourself. The sea is not so far from here, but if you want to know the best place to go I can’t help you. But why do you need more? You already know how to swim - all you need to do is go there.’

‘I want more than just swim. Grandfather told me there are people who move underwater just like fish. And Pukam told me about the schools of fish that move together.’

His father gazed at him with his face lowered, so that his eyes were only just visible under his eyebrows, as if saying he wasn’t convinced.

‘Why don’t you try asking the storyteller. He has too much imagination but he knows many people.’

The storyteller only came by once in a while, and would liven up the evenings in the village for a small reward. He was popular with children and adults alike. He had not been to their village for quite some time, but even so Udag had to wait for many days until the man came. He was an old man with many wrinkles, but with lively eyes and a constant smile. As usual he was ready to chat. Still, Udag had to insist he sat down and put his mind to the question.

‘The sea? There are many stories about the sea - people who were shipwrecked, mermaids, monsters and so forth. But I don’t know very well the people who live on the coast or the islands. What are you looking for?’

‘I’d like to meet someone who can show me how to move freely, in any direction. Like a fish or a dolphin.’

The man laughed. ‘Good luck then. That’s quite a challenge. I haven’t heard of people like that. You could go to the sea and see what you find, no? If you ask around you never know what you may come across. But tell you what – in the mountains, where I’m from, there is a wise man called Afrok. He knows more than any of us and gives advice to many people. Why don’t you go and see him? I’m sure he can tell you more.’

Udag had heard of this wise man, but only in stories. Most of these were jokes or tall tales. He had never seen the man, and only rarely heard of someone who had actually met him. The idea of going to see someone like that slightly frightened him, but all the same he was keen to give it a try.

‘Where can I find this man?’

‘He lives at the source of the river. It takes about three days to walk there.’

Later he talked with his mother at the kitchen table. By now she already knew of his plans. As he elaborated, she drew imaginary figures with her finger on the wood, as she did when she’d something to say but had to let someone finish their say first.

‘If it is because you’re trying to impress Pukam, then perhaps you should think again. She should love you for yourself, not for what you can bring her.’

‘That’s not the point. Yes, she liked the idea, but by the time I come back she’ll probably have somebody else. Who knows what my journey will bring. And I simply want to see the sea with my own eyes.’

His mother took a deep breath and pulled him next to her. With her arm around him and her head turned down she hesitated over whatever she was going to say. He waited for her to find the right words.

‘The sea is downstream yet you are going in the other direction to see Afrok the wise man. And maybe you are right – he knows more than any of us, many things that we have never heard of. But don’t just believe anything he tells you. The more people are admired the less they accept their limits.’

‘I’ll be careful.’

His mother hugged him. ‘You’re old enough to go on your own now, but please be careful. If this is what you want to do, then so be it. I’ll make you food for the road, even if it won’t last until your return. And I’ll make a pie with dried fruit and pistachios, so you’ll have something to give him to show your gratitude.’

‘I’ll give it to him if he has something useful to say.’

Udag met some of his friends, and told them about his intention to set out on a journey. He announced to his father his intention to go see the wise man, but didn’t mention it to Pukam when he went to say goodbye to her. He took his time to tell his grandfather about his plans and say goodbye. His mother prepared the food to take with him, and made the promised pie, wrapped carefully in a folded colourful piece of cloth. She asked him to take a basket of apricots to someone in the next village, and he agreed. His father seemed a bit disappointed as he would have to do without his son’s help, but he gave him advice on whom to trust and what route to take.

The next morning, long before the sun appeared above the hills, he started walking. He followed the path to the next village, which he reached later that morning. He greeted a few people he knew and went to deliver the basket of apricots, which earned him an invitation to lunch. Although he was lucky to get a good meal, it also resulted in various questions about the goal of his trip. He said he was going to see Afrok the wise man, but didn’t reveal much about what exactly he wanted to discuss with him. As he said goodbye