Chemically Dependent Anonymous

By eBookIt.com

Written by the Fellowship of Chemically Dependent Anonymous to share its history, philosophical underpinnings and program with others in our own book. We have based our program on one proven successful for over half a century by Alcoholics Anonymous in helping alcoholics find the road to recovery and a new way of life. As the focus of our program, we have adapted A.A.'s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing them only as they refer to chemical dependency in its entirety rather than alcohol abuse alone. We are grateful to A.A. for pointing the way for us as it has for many other anonymous groups.

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Jun 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9781456628567

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1-888-CDA-HOPE

Foreword

This is the first attempt of the Fellowship of Chemically Dependent Anonymous to share its history, philosophical underpinnings and program with others in our own book. We have based our program on one proven successful for over half a century by Alcoholics Anonymous in helping alcoholics find the road to recovery and a new way of life. As the focus of our program, we have adapted A.A.’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, changing them only as they refer to chemical dependency in its entirety rather than alcohol abuse alone. We are grateful to A.A. for pointing the way for us as it has for many other anonymous groups.

The CDA First Edition Committee consisting of four members of the Fellowship first met in May 1986 at Thanksgiving Farm in Harwood, Maryland to discuss the possibility of publishing a book for CDA. We delegated various committees such as the Steps Committee, the Traditions Committee and the H.O.W. Committee to begin work on enlarging upon the fundamental principles of our program. We found a lawyer to advise us on the legalities connected with our literary endeavor.

We then made several announcements to the general membership over a period of three years requesting personal story contributions to the book. We found editors who compiled our materials and prepared it for publication. We incorporated our publishing division, CDA COMMUNICATIONS, INC., General Service Office, in October 1989. At long last, our dreams have come to fruition as we present Chemically Dependent Anonymous to the world.

The First Edition Committee wishes to thank all the individuals and committees who generously contributed their time and ideas and those who gathered or submitted material for this volume. Special thanks go to the 23 courageous recovering men and women who have been willing to share their personal stories about their addictions, their attempts at recovery and their successes in combating many varieties of substance abuse. The stories have been kept as close to their exact words as possible. Only those who have been there can so eloquently explain how they have been able to rebuild their lives. These CDA members want to give hope to others that they too may find freedom from their addictions through CDA’s own time-tested program of recovery.

The CDA First Edition Committee dedicates this book to you, the reader, with our sincere wishes that what you find herein will help you or those you are helping discover the new life of health, sanity and sobriety that CDA has to offer. May God (as you understand Him) guide you on your way.

Acknowledgement

We are grateful to those in the mental health field, members of other anonymous organizations, business people, the clergy and the public in general for their support and recognition of our efforts to continue carrying our message of hope for recovery to others.

Testimonials

SLIGO CREEK PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES

1420 Woodman Avenue

Silver Spring, Maryland 20902

Dear CDA Members,

I am very pleased that the Chemically Dependent Anonymous (CDA) meetings are now available to younger teenage clients and other young-adult residents of Montgomery County, Maryland, and that they are encouraged, confronted and supported by others of this peer group in their efforts to become free of chemicals. I know that the therapists of this and other private practices, as well as public services for adolescent day treatment, family therapy and adult addictions, have been deeply inspired by the supportive work of CDA. The attendance of voluntary and mandatory clients and the high volume of participation at these meetings speak very well for the dedication and sincerity of involvement by their leaders. The resulting changes in attitude, lifestyle and school grades of CDA adolescents and young adults have been very encouraging.

Thank you for your continued efforts in the collaborative support of private and public programs here in Montgomery County. I wish continued success to your Fellowship in its endeavors to provide a program for those who seek recovery from drug and alcohol dependence. I strongly endorse your twelve-step method as a viable process for achieving recovery from substance abuse.

Sincerely,

Thomas W. Summers, Ph.D. Psychologist, Clinical Director

To Whom It May Concern:

Years ago, my life was utterly hopeless because of a drinking problem. Then I got trapped into attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and gradually started working the Program. That saved my life and showed me a way to personal freedom. Indeed, I have seen the miracle of A.A. work for countless others in our country and around the world.

Along with A.A.'s success has come a profound change in the public's attitude. People now recognize alcoholism, once thought to be a moral deficiency, as a health problem. This conversion is having a beneficial effect on the prospects for still-suffering alcoholics.

Alcoholics can help other alcoholics because they understand each other and are unified by their common problem. This wholeness however has suffered in recent years because of changes in society and the way drugs are used today. Many newcomers to A.A. now have other drug problems along with their alcoholism and a small number are not alcoholics at all.

This inconsistency has been lessened in our area of the country because of the influence of Chemically Dependent Anonymous, an organization that began in Annapolis, Maryland in 1980. CDA is open to anyone who is dependent on mind-altering chemicals of any sort. Although not allied with A.A., CDA closely follows the model provided by Alcoholics Anonymous. Having both programs available, newcomers can decide whether they properly belong in CDA, A.A. or both. And, as a result, both fellowships have become healthier and more complete.

I was initially attracted to CDA because a family member had recovered from cocaine addiction by participating in that program. I started attending CDA meetings too and I now consider myself eligible for membership because of my chemical dependency to alcohol.

I believe that in working together (though still independently), CDA and A.A. will strengthen both fellowships and offer greater hope and opportunity for recovery to those enslaved by drugs. Eventually, the myths and hysteria about drug addiction will slip away and the public will become more understanding and supportive. And I think that in the 21st Century, Chemically Dependent Anonymous will do for the drug addict what A.A. has done for the alcoholic in the 20th Century.

Bob R. (an active member of A.A. for over 30 years)

To Whom It May Concern:

In 1981, I had the good fortune of meeting a young man who was a member of CDA. After many conversations and interviews, and being fully aware of his background as a chemical dependent, I offered him a contract as a New York Life Sales Representative. To this day, I am very glad that I made that decision. Not only has this employee become a strong force and successful sales representative in my office, but he is also one of the top agents in the entire company.

In the years I have known him, I have had the opportunity to become acquainted with many others who are also part of the CDA Program. Some of these people we have hired and some we’ve rejected from a job application standpoint. However, I have been very impressed with the personal programs each one of these individuals has established. Although some of them were unable to become successful as sales representatives with New York Life, I think that everyone who departed the company left with a better understanding of sales and went on to be successful in other fields.

Through CDA, these people have been able to establish new lives for themselves with a commitment not often found in others. Until seven years ago, I had no idea of the impact CDA had on its members, but I can assure you I am most impressed. Today, I do not hesitate to talk to any members of CDA who have established programs of their own.

Sincerely,

James E. Adkins, CLU, ChFC General Manager

My Dear Friends,

By the grace of God and through His gift to me, the blessed Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. At this writing, I have been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for 13½ years (since November 17, 1973). A miracle - believe me!

I am a religious brother who has been a member of a Roman Catholic order for the past 37 years. Currently, I am the order's chief financial officer and its corporate treasurer.

On a daily basis, I am actively involved in Alcoholics Anonymous. I attend meetings, conduct twelve-step oriented retreats for members of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon, sponsor or serve as spiritual advisor to approximately 40 men, do one-on-one counseling and serve part time on the staff of an alcoholic treatment facility in this geographical area of Maryland.

I acknowledge without reservation that my sobriety is a gift that I received from God, as I understand Him, bestowed upon me through the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I further acknowledge that my continued sobriety is contingent upon my fidelity to the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous' Twelve-Step Program, to my continuing to practice these principles in all my affairs and to my continued participation in A.A. meetings on a regular basis.

I have come to know that alcoholism and drug abuse are diseases - fatal diseases - and that the compulsive addiction to the substance abused is the overriding characteristic of these illnesses. Truly, diseases of addiction!

My first encounter with the Fellowship of Chemically Dependent Anonymous (CDA) was in 1980 in the Annapolis, Bowie and Rockville areas of Maryland. CDA publicly acknowledges in its literature its indebtedness and gratitude … to the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous for the 'Twelve Steps' and 'Twelve Traditions' which are the basis of our program. Many Chemically Dependent Anonymous members who are alcoholics attend A.A. meetings. It was in this setting that I first met members of CDA.

Immediately, I was deeply impressed by individual recovering addicts I met, and I agreed to share my experience, strength and hope at a Chemically Dependent Anonymous meeting. Later, I agreed to lead discussions on the Twelve Steps, especially the Third and Eleventh Steps. I was privileged to conduct the first CDA-oriented retreat. To demonstrate my support, great esteem and deep affection for the members of Chemically Dependent Anonymous, I attend CDA meetings where individuals are celebrating periods of being clean and sober.

Chemically Dependent Anonymous deals with the disease of addiction without making any distinction as to the substance being abused. CDA calls for total abstinence from any mood-changing chemical.

In my judgment, based upon personal association and experience with CDA members, that fellowship's program of recovery from the disease of addiction is viable. It works! By their fruits you shall know them (Luke 6, 44). Could it be otherwise? No! At least not when an individual unconditionally surrenders to the Twelve-Step Program of CDA. The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous has fifty years of undeniable success of its members who have lived lives based upon that program's Twelve Steps. These approximately 200 words of inspired wisdom, wisdom that transcends human wisdom, are the keys to sanity and sanctity, to wholeness and holiness. The Twelve Steps are what Father Al G. once described as: A master plan for living more accurately, the Master's plan for living.

Chemically Dependent Anonymous is rapidly developing its own undeniable record of success! Men and women are coming to this program in increasing numbers and are recovering - becoming, and remaining, clean and sober. They are happy people living useful and productive lives, loving and serving God as each understands Him. They have learned to love and serve God in the person of His creatures, especially other suffering addicts (their brothers and sisters). Each enthusiastically carries the message of hope and the conviction which is based upon personal experience: It can be done, with God's help!

I have observed that the members of Chemically Dependent Anonymous are bonded together, merrily traveling the road to freedom. They do not limit their association with one another simply to meeting times, but have expanded their times of togetherness to include many other dimensions of life which enriches their fellowship and provides an even greater measure of support.

I am pleased and honored to humbly but enthusiastically endorse and recommend the goals of Chemically Dependent Anonymous and the means that fellowship recommends to achieve those goals.

To the newcomer: Sursum corda! – Lift up your hearts! God wills your recovery. You do what you can.

Study this book! Work the Twelve Steps! Go to meetings! Live the CDA Program as best you can! Then, God will do for you what you have not been able to do for yourself. Promise!

Friend, keep comin' back! B.A.N.

PART I

CHEMICALLY DEPENDENT ANONYMOUS

1 The Fellowship

Chemically Dependent Anonymous is a 12-step fellowship for anyone seeking freedom from drug and alcohol addiction. We of CDA do not make distinctions in the recovery process based on a particular substance. The basis of our program is abstinence from all mood-changing and mind-altering chemicals, including street-type drugs, alcohol and unnecessary medication.

The primary purpose of CDA as a whole is to remain clean and to help others like us gain recovery. By sharing our Experience, Strength and Hope with each other, we solve our common problem and help others recover from chemical dependence which has made their lives unmanageable.

CDA is not affiliated with any political, religious, or commercial organizations or institutions.

CDA remains grateful to the co-founders and Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous for the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions which are the basis of our program.

2 Why CDA?

There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. This has been amply demonstrated by the Program and the Fellowship of Chemically Dependent Anonymous. The concept behind CDA is not original by any means. It is based on the principle of simplicity that Alcoholics Anonymous developed in a time-proven format designed to give direction to those suffering from addiction to alcohol.

This concept has been at the core of hundreds of other self-help groups that share the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. The only difference between the groups is the altering of the group’s primary purpose and the requirements for membership. The formula shared by all twelve-step groups is the common bond of experience and hope from its individual members. This is what makes miracles happen.

But why CDA? Why start a new organization when A.A. and N.A. already exist? If these groups are working well, it would seem that there is no need to change anything. However, society, and many professionals in the recovery field, realize that there is the addict who shows no real preference for any single drug of choice. There is also the addict who primarily uses drugs and uses alcohol only to enhance the drugs, thus not seeing alcohol as a problem. The simplicity of CDA is that it covers all the bases by not distinguishing between drugs and alcohol. This is clearly stated in CDA’s Third Tradition which states: The only requirement for membership is a desire to abstain from all mood-changing and mind-altering chemicals, including street-type drugs, alcohol and unnecessary medication.

Alcoholics Anonymous has been lovingly tolerant of addicts, many of whom have felt that A.A. has been the beginning point of new lives for them. But A.A. and other fellowships narrow the identification process to just alcohol or sometimes a specific drug rather than the addiction itself. And rightly so, since the singleness of purpose in A.A., for example, is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. In CDA, we believe that speaking about the full, unedited story of our drug and alcohol addiction is critical to those wanting to remain clean and sober.

CDA members are encouraged to come from other fellowships and no one is restricted from mentioning any recovery literature they read or how they identify themselves in the meetings. CDA also has its own recovery readings, including Step guides, a meditation book and this book, Chemically Dependent Anonymous (its version of the A.A. Big Book).

Many who were skeptical about attending a new fellowship have continued coming to CDA and celebrate many clean and sober anniversaries. The Fellowship is still unique in its approach to addiction and offers the same direction and hope as it did in the beginning. CDA is indeed an idea whose time has come!

3 Let’s Redefine Addict and Addiction

All too often communication, especially in the English language, gets scrambled because of what is known as semantics. This is when a word or phrase involved in conversation or the written word will mean something different to each person receiving the message. Each one of us brings his own mental images and understanding to words as they are presented to him. Even a solid dictionary definition of a concept does not cover all that the word conjures up in the brain because of the differing backgrounds and experiences of those hearing or seeing that word and the ways in which they therefore relate to it. A word may bear a stigma that takes it so far from its meaning that it loses its original definition. In order to eliminate confusion, it is necessary to return to the original definition to regain its proper meaning. Words such as addict or addiction are cases in point. Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition, defines an addict as a person addicted to some habit, esp. to the use of a narcotic drug. It defines addiction as the condition of being addicted (to a habit), specif., the habitual use of narcotic drugs.

These words will have different meanings for those who have had some experiences, however indirect, with them: those who work in the fields designed to deal with the addict; those who have had only direct, negative experiences with addiction; those who are actually addicted at this time. Despite the literal descriptions of these people and their problems, we each hold different pictures in our minds of the drug addict and have different feelings about addiction. But in order to understand the concept behind Chemically Dependent Anonymous, it is necessary to drop all those images of what these words mean to us, including Webster's version, in order to consider the drug addict's own definition of an addict and of his addiction.

Who has a greater right to redefine these words than the people who have been so defined? Surely those who have won that right have looked into the meaning of the words addict and addiction from a very personal standpoint. They have made an honest attempt to reach a deeper understanding of what they truly are and what their problems are. Sorry Webster's. And no stigmas are acceptable here either.

The most common conception of a drug addict is that of the desperate, emaciated pincushion junkie in a dark, dingy apartment with an eyedropper and a rusty syringe, nodding and puking between armed robberies and drugstore holdups. It cannot be denied that this picture does apply in some cases. But most addicts who once fit this bill and are now recovering useful lifestyles will quickly assert that their addictions began long before their world got that ugly. In fact, the self-proclaimed drug addicts who are finding recovery in the self-help movements and who stopped before they reached the above-described stage, readily agree that their addiction patterns were present long before they arrived at whatever junctures turned them to the path of recovery.

However, those who fit this latter definition of an addict know that if they begin to use again, they will probably end up qualifying for the worst-case description even though they never reached that point previously. And in some cases, they had never become as truly addicted physically as the dictionary definition would seem to imply before they came for help. Sorry again Webster's.

As CDA sees it, alcoholism is simply one form of addiction. Effective professionals who work with addicts agree with this viewpoint as well. Many other people acknowledge this fact too but are also quick to make at least an unspoken distinction between the alcoholic and the dope fiend. Even the dictionary seems to do so by omitting alcohol as an addictive substance. However, as far as the important aspects of the recovery process are concerned, CDA refuses to make such a distinction.

The young person who commits repetitive acts of problem behavior while using any type of chemical, including alcohol, is not just a problem child in the opinion of the addict who has run this course. To him, that youngster is already an addict even if it’s only the early stages of addiction. We are not certain whether preventative measures, if forced on such a person, would work or not. All we know about prevention is that it did not work for us and we find it to be futile for the ones who have reached such a point. It is too much like the story of the boy trying to plug the dike with his finger unless the one in question is willing to take preventative action on his own. He can only avert a further progression of his disease by totally abstaining from all drugs.

However, we must acknowledge the existence of the social drug user who never seems to have problems with using chemicals. Hats off to him! We cannot understand that phenomenon, nor can the professionals in the field of addiction. And we lose some members when they begin to believe that they are in that fortunate category. Their thinking gets twisted and they forget where they have come from. Somehow they think that recreational drug use will be all right for them. That happens most often when addicts drift away from meetings and the support groups that had been saving their lives. The terrible problem with addiction is that it is a disease that can convince the addict he does not have a disease should he drop his defenses at any time. It can happen to any one of us, and does all too often.

Our redefinition is not complete unless we include our fellows who have been on the pharmacy circuit for too long with the aid of often well-meaning, undereducated physicians. These drug addicts travel day after day from one doctor to another, filling script after script in order to stay within the legal limits of their drugs of choice. They are protected from reaching their bottoms by doctors as well as their families and society at large. They frequently die without ever wearing the label of addict or being called chemically dependent. That identification might have given them the opportunity to be pointed toward recovery. Instead, they are allowed to remain hidden behind the enabling walls of their homes, communities and society. Stigmas can kill.

It used to be that way for the alcoholic before Alcoholics Anonymous came along and suggested to society that it ought to reconsider its original definition of the drunk. That organization proved that an alcoholic can recover: Take Uncle Bill out of the attic, get him into A.A. and miracles may happen. He can be changed into a responsible member of his community who is a loving, giving and spiritually-oriented human being. People might say, "It's a good thing he wasn't a drug addict or he wouldn’t have had a chance." Get the point?

However, we are seeing a change in the medical profession's viewpoint about drugs and addiction. Slowly, it is taking place as the truly dedicated people in the field begin to understand there is such a thing as unnecessary medication. Medical and psychological workers are now detecting the disease pattern of addiction much earlier. Probable addicts are usually directed to self-help groups much sooner as statistics have begun to indicate that the most effective medicine addicts can ever receive is found there.

Remember that we are using the term unnecessary medications here, only seeing these as the possibly abusive elements. CDA cannot denounce the use of pain-killing drugs or even sedatives if they are truly needed. We have members who have had to undergo surgery, painful dental procedures and other such treatments that necessitated the administering of addictive substances. These members have proved that the CDA Program is effective by withstanding periods of use of necessary chemicals without reinstituting self-destructive patterns of usage or increasing dosages without physicians’ orders.

How did they do this? They clung to the Program like epoxy. Their fellow members showed them love and support throughout the process. They remained clean and free as if they had never broken the pattern of abstinence. Their desire to live the Program was stronger than the chemicals that had formerly enslaved them. They represent one more example of the effectiveness of a program that prefers not to limit its understanding of addiction to any one substance. Addiction is addiction is addiction.

Obvious social and sometimes moral issues arise when such a diverse group of addicted people gathers in the CDA setting. The Valium-eating homemaker has existed in a much different world from that of the motorcycle-riding junkie or the paranoid speed freak. And if we were to emphasize these differences in this setting, endless possibilities for confusion and dissension might arise.

But even as our diversity makes us unique, our addiction makes us all one and the same. In CDA, the emphasis is placed on this common ground. We each had different types and degrees of addiction but we all want help in recovery. So let us work together to gain new understanding about the differing aspects of this disease of addiction that we have endured, seeing each as a piece of the much larger puzzle to be solved. Through the past experiences and the resulting valuable insights of every person in our Fellowship, we can learn to avoid mistakes in areas we never would have thought of as problematic.

If you are reading this and think you may need help, try on our redefinition of addiction for size. It could lead you to CDA to seek the answers you have been looking for. If you don't believe that your identity fits the descriptions of the addict you have seen here, try to make use of this new understanding of our disease in your everyday living. It might save someone else's life someday, maybe even your own.

4 The Essential Elements

One question that is frequently raised when outsiders show an interest in Chemically Dependent Anonymous is, What was the main thing that got you started in the direction of recovery? The answer is as varied as the number of addicts in the world. We each had a different bottom. Sure, the stories are often similar and sometimes run nearly parallel. But in CDA, the entire spectrum of addiction types is accepted. Therefore, there exists a wide range of circumstances leading up to each member's entry into the Program.

But no matter what the physical descriptions are (drug, place, age, duration of usage), the universal effects were deep, desperate fear and paralysis of the spirit. It seemed that there was nowhere left to turn for help. The drug of choice no longer worked as it had at first. Our friends and families had given up on us. We were living in isolated shells of confusion and anxiety, experiencing feelings of guilt, self-pity, resentment and the whole gamut of negative emotions.

For many of us, the worst emotion of all was tremendous self-hatred. We had become trapped within the enemy's walls. But the enemy was self. We were living lives that only permitted enough room in the center of the universe for our own selves. Everything, everybody, everyplace circled around our feeble existence and our relentless need to reinforce the right to use our drug of choice. That requirement was of the utmost priority. The final act of being left alone in the center of the universe with nothing but a habit that no longer worked for us was Hell on Earth (an extremely understated description of the state in which we finally found ourselves).

We were at the crossroads. As we stood on the tracks watching the oncoming freight train, the decision we had to make was whether to get off the track and stay off or let the damn train hit us. It sounds like an easy choice. Why is it then that so many choose to stay and take the full force of the impact? No one knows for sure.

It is true that many just do not believe it will happen to them. They feel that they are different. It is denial to the bitter end. For others, it is because of plain old fear of the unknown. In their cases, the problem is obvious even to them but the rocky roadbed is at least a familiar one. Although it keeps getting worse, they believe that it is easier and safer than taking the risk of getting off the long, old track and trying a new way of life.

These explanations are mere speculation however. Most of us were given opportunities for insight into our problems many times before we finally took the plunge and got honest with ourselves. It was not just a matter of a second chance. Sometimes it was the hundredth chance. An odds maker would be baffled at this news. We were extremely fortunate to live through all of these risks and be able to make it into recovery.

But most of us who can now look back on our former lives from a relatively calm perspective do not think it was luck at all. We believe that, for one reason or another, a force of a positive nature that we call our Higher Power guided us here to CDA. We know this might sound mystical, supernatural or even religious. It seems even stranger to us.

After all, weren't we our own centers of the universe at one time? Weren't we the ones who cursed God when we thought there was the remotest possibility that such a Being might exist out there somewhere? We even cursed our own existence because that God was just out there to make our lives miserable. Most of us really did believe that. And, now there is this change of tune about a higher power? It doesn't make sense!

Our new track records show that, although it may not make sense or even seem reasonable, this adjustment in our spiritual attitude is one of the characteristics or essentials of getting the Program. If you are reading this book with the idea of getting help from CDA, however, rest assured that we are not a religious movement or a fanatical group. Should you be turned off by the very thought of joining such a fellowship, you have nothing to fear. The essentials for belonging are simply these, as encompassed in the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions: reaching our own bottoms and the eventual grasping of a spiritual understanding that fits our individual needs.

It must be added that at the time most CDA members first sought help, a conscious spiritual recognition was absent or very cloudy at best in most cases. It was not until later that we could look back at our recovery and realize how our Higher Power had led us into the Program and guided us ever since. As He did for us, your Higher Power will work for you. He has brought you this far. Just give us a chance and leave the rest to Him.

5 CDA Roots

Chemically Dependent Anonymous is a fellowship that was created in the Annapolis, Maryland area by some younger members of Alcoholics Anonymous to fill a perceived need. In 1976–1980, we founders of CDA were people who had bottomed out on alcohol in our late twenties. Yet we also had extensive histories of using other drugs. We had used alcohol in the last stages of our active addictions and so A.A. had seemed the logical place to come for recovery.

In working with individuals who used drugs other than alcohol, in addition to alcohol or whose primary drug of choice was something other than alcohol, we began to see that some of these newcomers were not getting the message in A.A. that all mood-changing and mind-altering drugs were part of their problem of addiction. Alcohol was not the sole obstacle to recovery for them. Even more important was the fact that earlier A.A. members seemed uncomfortable when these people shared their experiences about using drugs. Members new to the Program felt alienated within the Fellowship. Clearly, something had to be done to