A Kind of Belgium

By Mark Barkley

“I feel like a kind of Belgium, y’ know. Always invaded. They’ve set up their trenches and wires and they take it in turns to rush over the top and try and put a flag in me. I’m getting loved to exhaustion.”

Would you sit on a fence and watch an invasion take place? Right on your doorstep? When both the invaded and the invader were close to you? Ray Rance (a real estate agent), Leo Crowshaw (a restaurant proprietor) and Lynne Fleming (a hair salon operator) work in a shopping precinct that’s been hit hard by financial downturn but is set to enjoy a recovery as a boutique tourist area.

A property acquisition is about to take place. Jodie Crowshaw, Leo’s daughter, stumbles on to hidden dealings and must confront family and friends to pursue what she believes is just and right.

The story is seen through the eyes of Kane Boon, a street spirit, who was killed in the act of a robbery. His spirit is tied to a place which is about to be besieged and in defence of this space, he seeks to redeem his family name.

“A Kind Of Belgium” was first presented by La Boite Theatre Inc in association with their Springboards 2000 program at La Boite Theatre, Hale Street, Brisbane, on 17 July, 2000.

Interview with the Author

Q - Why should I read a stage play?

A – I think a good story is a good story. I try to reach out on an emotional level. Most people find it engaging and easy to read. And a play is just a movie in your mind.

Q – What inspired you to write A Kind of Belgium?

A – Like my other plays, Goodbye Melaleuca, The Captains and The Kings, Sylvia Terry and even Spades, I am fascinated by the dynamics within the family. This work is primarily about a father who has gone through a bitter divorce and his relationship with his daughter. It involves drama, humour, conflict, betrayal, guilt and ultimately love.

Whenever I would mix with other writers they would always say, “You do realize that there’s a Harold Pinter play called “A Kind of Alaska”?” To which I reply, “Yes, but Alaska was never invaded like Belgium.” This play deals with the whole politics of invasion. It’s a case of, you are trying to wipe out friends so you can never really show your true intensions. 

It was such a joy to see this played at La Boite Theatre, Brisbane in 2000. The whole adventure was made worthwhile by one comment at the end made a member of the audience. “At last. It’s just so good to get a story.”

 Q – So, why should readers give this book a try?

A – It’s just a good story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mark Barkley
• Release date: May 26, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386887348

Book preview

CAST LIST

Kane Boon — (16 years: A street spirit)

Leo Crowshaw — (48 years: A restaurant owner)

Jodie Crowshaw — (18 years: Leo’s daughter)

Ray Rance — (39 years: A property manager)

Lynne Fleming — (53 years: A hairdresser)

A Kind Of Belgium was first presented by La Boite Theatre Inc in association with their Springboards 2000 program at La Boite Theatre, Hale Street, Brisbane, on 17 July, 2000. The cast was as follows:

Kane Boon — Jason Klarwien

Leo Crowshaw — Kevin Hides

Jodie Crowshaw — Sarah McGlade

Ray Rance — Danny Murphy

Lynne Fleming — Karen Crone

Director — Fraser Corfield

Coordinator Springboards — Angela Betzien

(Authors Note: I wish to acknowledge the help and support given to me by Fraser Corfield and Angela Betzien without whose assistance this event would not have been possible.)

ACT ONE

Scene One: The Street

(A city street awakens to the day. KANE moves along the street, guiding and calling out to people he sees)

KANE

(To a person offstage) Be careful .. Be careful.

(RAY enters and pauses to look at a spot on the street, then walks on.)

(Calls after him) Thank you.

(KANE stands on the spot and looks at RAY) He once got down on all fours and put chalk here. Kane Boon. 16 Forever. He’s a good man.

I love this street.

(To another person offstage) Hey, it’s gonna be hot today.

Watch that air-conditioning. You’ll catch a death.

(Points to spot) This is where I caught mine.

Man, I love this place. You can hear the stormwater drains. Under the bitumen skin. Fed by this (points) and this (points to other side) gully trap. Washing cigarette butts to the sea.

And here (points) to there (points to the opposite side). The sewer main. Listen ..

There’s the magic of toilets flushing. Grease traps feeding. And the beautiful dance of shit.

And thrusting upwards. (Points in the air) Chlorinated waterfalls at your fingers. Cisterns and S-bends.

Neon logos on the fast food and banks all put to sleep by the sun.

(To person offstage) Hey, how was y’ lotto? .. Well there’s always next week. Hey hey, keep the doors open one more day.

(Looks to people offstage) These people don’t see it.

I see it all. All things, all people. Everything that’s beautiful. And everything’s that not.

Like here. Here’s a block of shops.

(Points to LYNNE) A hairdresser. Called L.J’s. Business is not good.

(Points to LEO and RAY) And a restaurant. This is L’(ecureuil Volant. Business is good.

But then a poofie French name always gets the wankers.

Scene Two: The Restaurant

(LEO and RAY sit at a table drinking coffee in Leo’s restaurant L’(ecureuil Volant)

LEO

It’s a mystery, mate. It’s a fuckin’ mystery.

LEO

I mean, like y’ said, who’re we kidding ourselves that there’s not some cruel plan running our lives.

Take this. I’m a bit like you. Used to play football. Used to pull the birds. Had the old shaggin’ wagon, y’ know. Saturday nights, the Drive-In. Never saw a movie.

I got more notches on the old feller than it’s got wrinkles now and what does life give me? ..

Four daughters.

Cruel irony, Ray. Cruel irony.

RAY

It’s hot, isn’t it?

LEO

I mean, I’m