Desdinova

By Shayla Kwiatkowski

All roads lead to Louisiana…

Dana Ricks never knew her mother, but her father was legend in the trucking world. She spends her life following down his tales driving her own rig down those same dark roads.
Until her world is rendered by nationwide terrorism and she rises to the challenge, just as her father would have done.

“If your daddy was alive, maybe you’d have figured out what kind of man he was by now, and stop living in dreams.”

Her notion of family is destroyed and she has to find a way to come to terms with a dangerous world, and the dangers rising in her own mind.

“Your dad’s eyes shone with an unholy light and I liked that. I was all for a bit of trouble. I brought him a beer and I brought him home… but I’ve often wondered if it was the devil himself I rescued…”

She runs the road in a state of exhaustion trying to live up to her father’s reputation, and ends up creating one of her own. She rises from her own explosive circumstances to discover a family she never knew she had, and that life on the road is only bearable if you had a home to come back to.

“That swamp rat paddled himself right out of a backwater swamp in a leaky canoe. He dragged himself up on the muddy banks of the Mississippi… and there you were bundled up into his shirt, baptized in swamp water. His own kin chased him right out of there, threatening to feed you to the gators.”

In the end, she finds that she was only chasing down her own self after all, and she had what she needed all along.

Relationships heal along with an embittered country, and life goes on in Goodwill, Georgia.

DESDINOVA by Shayla Kwiatkowski

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781618427342

Book preview

Kwiatkowski

CHAPTER 1

It’s a good day to die, thought Dana Ricks, as the landscape slid by her window. Exactly what her father would have said. She smiled to herself. It was a good day to be alive too. The sun was shining in that special way that suspended time and gave an otherworldly feel to familiar surroundings. Blue Oyster Cult enfolded her comfortably from the speakers. She’d loved their music for as long as she could remember. Even when worlds were crumbling, they sang of hope. She identified with the human will to adapt and survive.

Only a few more hours and she could drop this load and head home. Her skin tingled in anticipation of a long hot shower. She imagined pulling into the lot, and the first glimpse of the house surrounded by Rosemary’s lush gardens. Her aunt would probably be out in it, her basket on her arm. She could almost smell the kitchen and all the goodness that came from it. Rosemary was always cooking something. Her family was her life.

She shifted down to join the long line at the weigh station. Trucks were moving slowly and it seemed the state troopers were out in full force. The little hairs on the back of her neck started to tingle. She turned off the cassette and turned on the CB. Immediately her peace was shattered by irate truckers venting their spleen. That was nothing unusual in itself, but it sounded like they were inspecting each truck thoroughly, especially with a hazmat listed on the manifest.

OH SHIT, she thought. She had a mixed load, with some listed as hazardous materials, but she had no reportable quantities. She was not required to placard. Maybe they would let her slip by on her smile. She was so close to home. She left the CB on and let the chatter wash over her. It was probably the most excitement these drivers have had all week. Life on the road can get monotonous.

She pulled on the airbrakes and went to the refrigerator to throw a sandwich together and get a fresh bottle of water. May as well relax. When she finished eating she threw her legs across onto the passenger seat and reached for her book. Soon she was once again lost in the land of hobbits and adventure.

Slowly the line inched forward until finally it was her turn. She pulled up on the scale, confident in knowing that she was under limit if only just barely. She rolled up to the window where a trooper waited unsmiling. He looked tense and wary. Her smile faltered a little at his sternness, but she held to it. After all, she was in home territory now.

The guard scrutinized her manifest and handed it back to her.

Please pull into a parking space and wait for inspection.

She started to speak but one look at his eyes and her own lowered. No use to fight it, she thought. Let them have their fun. Just get through it.

She maneuvered the rig into a slot. She looked down the long line of trucks waiting to be inspected and not one of the drivers looked happy. In fact, no one looked happy at all on this beautiful day. She felt a caution, but there was nothing else to do. Every once in a while there was a crackdown on something or other and all they could do was wait it out until the authorities got tired of it and grew lax again. She updated her logbook and double checked her math. Setting that aside, she closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat. The tension melted into the sunlight coming through the windshield. She was soon asleep.

Much later, the sound of banging on her door woke her. She shook off the sense of disorientation and pulled herself together. Oh yeah. Here. The glorious morning had changed into the heaviness of late afternoon. The trucks around her had changed but the lot was still full. The state trooper looked fresh in comparison to the harried truckers.

You just come on? she asked, smiling.

Manifest. He barked.

She blinked and handed it over. She had never known a southerner without a mouthful of words.

Pull into the next available dock for load inspection, he said, turning away.

Um, wait! You can’t mean you really are going to inspect the whole load, are you? I mean, it’s a K-Mart load! It’s a lot of little boxes packed very carefully and if you open that back door…

Next available dock, he said, walking away.

…everything will fall out and I’ll never get it all back in! her voice rose in frustration and disbelief. It’s a K-Mart load! Dang!

A flash of orange caught her eye as a Schneider truck pulled off one of the docks. She started up her truck and put it into gear. The airbrake released with an angry hiss. She pulled out and backed it onto the low open dock and shut down. Climbing out of the cab to meet the inspector she grew uncertain.

Um, do you mind if I call my boss? she asked. "It’s a sealed load and I really should let him know what’s going on.

He nodded curtly and walked around the truck with eagle eyes.

Jack answered on the first ring.

Whoa! she said, taken aback. You usually take your sweet time answering…

Dana! he shouted. Where are you! His tension and fear exploded through the phone like a toxic cloud. Now she was worried.

I’m at the weigh station, Jack. They’re gonna inspect the load and it’s a K-Mart load- you know what’ll happen…

Leave it, he ordered. Leave the trailer and get yourself on back home. Do you understand?

But… she started. She felt tears stinging her eyes as fear blossomed.

Listen to me very carefully, Dana, and do not question me. Drop that fucking trailer, leave it there, and drive straight home. Do you understand? Your Aunt Rosemary says for you to come yourself home immediately and none of your mouth. He enunciated very clearly and slowly. Do you understand?

Yes sir, she said in a small voice. What’s going on, Jack?

No questions, girl. Just do it. You got enough fuel, right?

Yes.

"Good. Don’t stop. Don’t even stop to take a piss, get yourself home, straight home- no detours. And call me the minute you are on the roll, got that?

Okay, okay- let me deal with this then…

Hey Dana… Be very careful, okay? Your Aunt Rosemary says to be very, very careful… Let me talk to someone in charge there.

Fear inched its way up her spine with bony fingers. He had evoked her Aunt Rosemary just too many times. Something serious was going on and her tough road persona was turning into a scared little girl. Her inner coward reared its head.

She stood there a minute, lost in a thoughtless place. Then she mentally shook herself out of her funk and went to find the inspector.

Sir- I just called my boss. He’s my uncle, you know. Anyway he told me to drop the trailer and leave it and get myself home. He even said my Aunt Rosemary said for me to get my butt home and I’m a little bit scared now. Is there anyway I could do that? He wants to talk to you.

She handed him the phone and listened to the one-sided conversation. She did not want to break down in front of these men. She wanted to be safe in her Aunt Rosemary’s arms and snapping at Jack for scaring her. She just wanted to be home.

The state trooper kept his eyes on the trembling girl in front of him. So young. Bet we wont be seeing this one out here again. He had done business with Jack before, and knew him to have good character. He finished his conversation and handed the cell phone back.

Okay, he said. Remove the lock and disengage. He said another driver will pick it up tomorrow. Leave the manifest. Let me inspect your cab first.

Yes sir, go right ahead. Relief washed over her, followed by more waves of fear. She still wasn’t home yet. She took off her padlock from the trailer door and cranked down the landing gear. Then she pulled the hook to disengage. The trooper was just climbing out of the cab. He had a strange smile on his face.

Blue Oyster Cult, huh? he said, referring to the tapes scattered all over the cab. Yeah, I saw them in the 70’s. They still around?

She gave a tight smile and answered, They never left. On tour forever, ya know. She looked at him warily. So I can go? she asked in a small voice.

He nodded and watched as she slowly pulled out from under the trailer. Get yourself home safely girl, he silently prayed. For there be demons.

Dana pulled out of the weigh station carefully, afraid at any moment to be stopped. She kept watching her rearview mirrors as she pulled the tractor out onto the highway, and then hammered it for home. She didn’t have a clue of what to be careful of and she was too afraid to consider. But she wasn’t going to give anything a chance to become a threat. The air seemed heavy with a late afternoon pall as the miles fell away into some unknown reality. She forgot to call Jack. The little girl just ran for home.

By the time she started down the familiar long gravel road to the trucking company and home, she had worked up a healthy fear. She’d entertained many scenarios of doom and all she could conclude is that someone had died. She hoped her cousins were safe. The darkness crowded around her as she pulled into the lot and shut down her truck. The lot was devoid of life, but all lights were blazing. Even the other trucks rested like skeletons of prehistoric beasts. She stretched, feeling her spine crack in a few places. Climbing stiffly out of the truck, she was surprised to see Rosemary in a full run towards her, arms outstretched. She felt the same way. Tears were running down her aunt’s face as she wrapped herself around Dana’s lanky form. As tiny as the woman was, she sure had a hug on her.

Jack came out at a quick pace to join them. Dana, he said, and wrapped his arms around both of them in relief. The dust swirled around them and settled back into the stillness of the evening, as they stood in a stillness of their own. Finally, wiping her eyes and straightening herself out, Rosemary fell back into the comfortable role of caregiver.

Oh, you must be hungry! Why don’t you and Jack go do some talking, and I’ll get supper on the table. We all need a good hearty family meal right now, it’ll do us a world of good. She hurried off to the house, to the comfort of her kitchen.

Jack put his big meaty arm over Dana’s shoulders and led her into the dispatch office of the trucking company. They settled into their usual places and Jack cleared his throat.

Okay, now that you’re home safe… he began.

What happened, Jack? she interrupted, unable to stand any more suspense.

He held up his hand until the question died on her face, and began again. His self-control was so close to slipping.

There’s been some attacks of terrorism. It was pretty well coordinated and they happened all at the same time. Some hazmat loads were hijacked and run where it’d do some damage. All over the country. That’s why they are inspecting all hazmat loads and papers. That’s why I told you to leave the trailer, it’s too dangerous to be carrying a load right now. His voice grew husky with emotion. Fuck the load. Rosie’d kill me if anything happened to you, you know that.

They sat looking at each other as the minutes slid away. There was just no response to such a thing.

So… she began, searching for the words to ask what she couldn’t express. Her eyes searched the corners of the room for the right phrasing. Finally the words tumbled out in her confusion, So what about the company? What about all the loads out there? What about the trucking industry and all the drivers? What about… America? she ended softly, on the very thought she was afraid to form.

I don’t know, girl. Jack ran his rough hand over his weathered face and then rested his head in his hands. We got one more driver out and he’s about to give me a heart attack and lay Rosie out for her eternal rest.

Callan, she whispered.

Callan, he answered, tears in his eyes. My boy.

Jack was a strong man and the anguish in his eyes was too much to bear. Images of her cousin crowded her brain. She worshipped the ground he walked on, tinged with jealousy. As a girl, she had to fight for what he took for granted. Sometimes she even had to put him in his place. But she loved him fiercely and the thought of him in danger was unbearable.

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Well, how far out is he?

California.

Dang! That boy would have to be all the way across the country something like this happens! You give him all the good runs! She stopped herself from treading the same refrain. Being so far from home like this was nothing to be jealous of. She’s nearly pissed her pants only a few hours away, but she’d be damned if she’d let Jack know. Seeing the depth in her uncle’s eyes she started again. Well- maybe he’ll call or something. He’s probably fine. You know Cal- always comes up smelling like a rose. That boy is meaner than a rattlesnake…

Jack looked her straight in the eye. He’s in L.A. Right where some of this happened. I was talking to him on the phone and there was an explosion. Then the phone went dead. Do NOT tell his mother.

Her mouth opened, but nothing was there to come out. They sat there in the gloom of the evening, looking at each other wordlessly, trying to find some stable ground to stand on.

Finally Dana rose to her feet and said curtly, You think she can’t read you like a book, Jack? He’ll be ok. He’s meaner than you are. Let’s go play family, I’m hungry.

He lumbered to his feet, gathering his fears and stuffing them back into dark secret places. He smoothed his grieving face as well as he could and threw a heavy arm across her shoulder.

Family, he answered. That one world held a whole universe.

They made their way across the yard at a faster pace than usual, hearts aching for the warm welcoming comforts of home. The house sat in the midst of Rosemary’s massive gardens. It was a smallish house, just big enough for the family to live comfortably in close quarters. But it made up for lack of size with the amount of land that came with it. Rosemary had extended her homemaking to cover all the exposed ground with a collection of gardens connected by winding walkways and patios of different sizes. There was a large patio leading up to the porch where a swing swayed lazily. The rockers and assorted chairs invited rest and reflection. Home. They felt some of their tenseness melt away as they entered the kitchen.

She had laid a table for an army. Evidently she had worked through her fears with a day of cooking. Dana and Jack looked at each other with amusement. They were most definitely home.

Jack reached out for a piece of fried chicken and looked aggrieved when his wife of so many years slapped his hand.

Now you know better than that, Jack Perkins. Go wash your hands and call the kids. A cloud passed over her face as she thought of her oldest son, then her eyes cleared as they focused on Dana.

Oh baby girl, I am so glad you are home! She wiped her hands on her apron as she moved to embrace her. Putting both hands to the sides of Dana’s face, she kissed her forehead with a forced gentleness. Her maternal instincts wanted to squeeze the stuffing out of the girl and then hide her under the bed, but she knew she had to keep her distance. Dana was just as stubborn and aloof as her father had been. She wanted love so much, but was afraid to let it touch her.

Now go clean up and come eat. She kissed the girl again and then let her go. The hardest part of mothering was learning when to back off and let them be.

The line for the bathroom sink went fast as always. Mealtimes in the Perkins home was always an abundant southern styled experience.

Hey Dana.

Dana!

Her cousins greeted her affectionately. A big grin split her face as she reached out to rub both their heads, leaving their hair mussed.

Rolling his eyes, 12 year old Dade gave his older sister a crooked smile, She’s back.

She’s back, Valery answered in the same vein. Together they pounced Dana, tickling her and tugging on her hair.

Hey there, getting a little soft in the tummy there, Dana, teased Dade.

Yeah, Valery chimed in with an evil grin. And you’re getting a butter butt too!

Bitch! Dana answered, slapping Valery upside the head. Cur! as she smacked Dade on the side of his.

The sounds of scuffling laughter reached into the kitchen where Rosemary and Jack were setting up the table. Their eyes met above the bounty laden table shining with all the love in their hearts. For the moment, the shadows stayed in the corners.

Mom! Dana’s picking on us! cried Valery as the three of them tumbled down the stairs, still wrestling for position.

It’s not fair, Rosie, they ganged up on me! Dana sputtered through her laughter.

Gung up, don’t you know anything? said Dade.

That’s not a word, stupid! Dana retorted as she tickled his stomach.

Gung ho! chimed in Valery as she tickled Dana’s side in retaliation for her brother’s mistreatment.

Stupid! Dana yelled as her younger cousins ganged up on her again. With fingers rapidly tickling, she cried out, Rosie! See what I have to put up with! I came home for THIS?

Rosie started to say something, but then Dana got a second wind and went after both cousins with a vengeance.

HA! she triumphed, as they took retreat behind their father, giggling. And let that be a lesson to you!

Rosemary looked at Jack and just shook her head with a smile. At least some things were back to normal.

Soon the sanctity of the kitchen quieted them as they took their places. Jack folded his hands into Grace and they all bowed their heads. Time for roughhousing was gone. The man gathered his blessings all around him and opened his mouth to speak. The shrill ring of the phone made them all jump. The shadows crept out around them as Jack got up with an exaggerated slowness. They all looked at each other warily, afraid for hope to touch their hearts.

Hello, he answered in a neutral voice, which quickly became laden with emotion. Callan!

Rosemary’s hand flung to her eyes as she tried to stop the flow of her tears. Jack turned away to face the wall.

Are you alright? Where are you, boy? He listened for an eternity as the family waited in silence. "Okay, listen to me. Get home any way you can. NOW. Fuck the load. Fuck the