The Wedding: A Screenplay

By Charles Platkin

Twentysomething New Yorkers and lifelong friends Halley and Tim have spent their entire lives living at home and avoiding responsibility at all costs. When their parents finally have had enough and turn them loose on the world to fend for themselves, the two suddenly find themselves being forced to deal with odd jobs and cockroach-infested apartments. Desperate for their old, comfortable lives, Halley and Tim devise what they think is the perfect plan to get back into the good graces of their parents.

A four-act screenplay from author Charles Platkin, THE WEDDING is a humorous look at two lives of Generation Y, as they go from pampered to paupers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diversion Books
• Release date: Sep 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781938120596

Book preview

Part I

INT. PARK AVENUE APARTMENT-ELEVATOR - MORNING

Two savvy New York children, HALLEY and TIM; 10 years old, are standing with their nannies, on opposite ends of the ornate elevator. An elevator operator seems to be sleeping with his eyes open. Tim smiles at Halley; already she’s playing hard to get.

INT. PHARMACY/CANDY STORE - AFTERNOON

Halley is with a friend

KATHY, 10 years old, browsing by the hairbrushes.

YOUNG KATHY

Wow. I love that brush, my mother would never buy it for me.

YOUNG HALLEY

Why?

YOUNG KATHY

Too much money.

YOUNG HALLEY

I’ll get it for you.

YOUNG KATHY

You’ll buy it for me?

YOUNG HALLEY

Don’t worry about it.

Halley scans the store to see if anyone is watching. She takes the brush and puts it under her coat.

INT. PHARMACY/CANDY STORE - CONTINUOUS

Behind the counter we see the shop keeper staring at a monitor, which shows Halley taking the brush.

CAMERA pans revealing Tim at the counter; he saw the whole thing.

INT. PHARMACY/CANDY STORE - CONTINUOUS

Halley starts to walk out of the store. As she passes Tim at the counter, we notice a security guard blocking the entrance of the store. Tim pulls out a wad of bills; slowly he slides a twenty to the manager.

YOUNG TIM

Oh, I almost forgot, my sister took a brush that I’m supposed to pay for.

At that moment the manager signals to the security guard that everything is okay. Halley glances at Tim, big smile.

12 YEARS LATER

INT. PARK AVENUE APARTMENT HOUSE ELEVATOR - LATE MORNING

It’s around noon. HALLEY BRENNER, 22, an explosion of funky black clothing, dark black glasses, really pretty in New York way. She has a Lucille Ball comedic style, and TIMOTHY JONATHAN KEATING, 22, handsome; ride down the elevator together. We notice the elevator operator is the same. Same uniform, same dead stare.

HALLEY

… You talk about women as if they’re some sort of evil cult.

TIM

I’m a realist. I’m trying not to be delusional.

HALLEY

What’s the story with that girl, anyway. Are you sleeping with her?

TIM

No. Why?

HALLEY

(mildly shocked, half teasing)

You’re kidding, right? I don’t believe it! I really don’t understand your relationships.

TIM

You mean if I were sleeping with her, then you’d understand?

HALLEY

You’re with her all the time. You’re like a dog…anytime she calls, you’re right there.

INT. PARK AVENUE APARTMENT LOBBY - CONTINUING

Halley and Tim walk through the beautiful pre-war lobby.

TIM

Enough! What, are you trying to torture me this morning? Relax, you’ll have your ice coffee in two minutes…Who drinks iced coffees in the dead of winter anyway?

Halley’s preoccupied. She stops at a Prada window display.

HALLEY

Maybe she’s afraid of you?

TIM

Afraid of what? I think she’s just insane…

After a beat

HALLEY

If she’s so insane then why are you with her?

Tim has to think about this. After a long pause—

TIM

I guess I’m just… I’m in a temporary slump. You know, the truth is I really don’t even like her. In fact, I’m never talking to her again. I just decided.

EXT. PARK AVENUE STREET-WINTER DAY—CONTINUING

Halley and Tim continue to talk over the noises of New York City. The two don’t seem to notice anything but each other.

HALLEY

Don’t you think you’re overreacting … just a little bit?

TIM

No! She nauseates me. She’s one of those pretty girls that manipulates guys to do almost anything for them….

Tim mimics the girl; whiny New York accent.

TIM

(continuing)

Do you mind coming with me to my dermatologist appointment, and then we’ll go and do my nails. You know the type. After the first date, she’s already asking you to help her move.

HALLEY

You helped her move?

TIM

(annoyed)

No, I didn’t help her move.

HALLEY

Tim if she annoys you so much then why not just forget about her.

They enter a trendy coffee bar —Halley seems to be jonesing for a cup of coffee.

INT. UPPER EAST SIDE, COFFEE SHOP - CONTINUING

HALLEY

God, I need caffeine. I wish I could just inject it right into my blood stream.

She studies the coffees of the day.

TIM

Forget about her? That’s your advice?

Halley turns to him, confused.

HALLEY

You just said you were never going to talk to her again. God Tim, you’re making me nervous. You’re way too serious. Women don’t want to be chased. They want someone they can’t have.

CLOSE on Tim, he reacts to this. It’s obvious, he is so in love with Halley. She doesn’t get it.

HALLEY

(continuing)

Can I have two extra large…

A COFFEE TENDER, 32, thick Indian accent, very excited and smiles constantly; knows their orders by heart.

COFFEE TENDER

Yes, yes, I know…Iced Cappuccinos, dark with cream…very good, very good.. Tim is about to order —

COFFEE TENDER

(continuing)

Yes, yes. I know…black…very good, very good. He moves to get their orders.

TIM

I don’t know why I can’t be like every other guy and only use women for sex. The rest of the time I would be worrying about whether or not the Knicks were in the playoffs, or how many beers I can drink without throwing up.

HALLEY

‘Cause you’re one of the good guys, Tim…

The Indian brings back their coffees, they move to a table and sit. Halley sips her coffee. She rolls her eyes back.

HALLEY

(continuing; hot whisper)

Oh my God…so good.

Tim reacts — she exudes sexuality.

HALLEY

(continuing)

So, what’s your story today? Tim snaps out of his fantasy.

TIM

I don’t know, but I have to at least pretend to look for a job.

(looking through the newspaper)

Maybe