Ever Touched: Fey Touched, #3

By Erin Zarro

One secret remembered, another forgotten...which one will explode first?

Brianna has two problems: she cannot remember her past, and she astrally projects to another woman who has predictions tortured out of her. As a result, she is lonely and feels distanced from her co-workers -- the only family she has ever known -- the Fey Touched Hunters. She is their intelligence gatherer, and her episodes are interfering with her ability to do her job.

When Fey Touched Hunter Cobra, her friend, finds her alone and injured from an episode, she accepts his help. But she's terrified of doctors and of being thought mentally ill, so she refuses to tell him what's wrong or let him take her to get medical help. Still, Cobra continues to help and protect her. They find themselves falling in love.

But Cobra, too, has a secret that could rip their fragile bond apart. 

When Brianna discovers through her episodes that someone has plans to destroy the Fey Clans, the Fey Touched decide to put their hatred aside and help them. But it's not just a matter of someone with a grudge: there are other, more powerful players -- beings thought to be legend.

As they unravel the mystery, Brianna's episodes become more frequent and more dangerous until she is faced with a choice. To find the mystery girl and help the Fey Clans, she must risk opening herself up to the Hunters and to Cobra, and put her own life on the line. But is she prepared for the answers she'll find?

Please note that there is explicit language, sex, and violence in this book so it may not be suitable for those under 18.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Turtleduck Press
• Release date: May 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386723042

Book preview

Chapter 1

BRIANNA

It was night, the kind of night that you felt in your bones. I was at The Glamourie, a Fey bar, and alone, as usual.

Clicking glasses and murmurs of conversation surrounded me. The music was loud, but not too loud in my little corner. I was people-watching, noting the Fey in the room and who they were with. Couples were making out, thinking no one was paying attention. I caught sight of one Fey woman who danced like a prima ballerina on the dance floor and a man who was doing some kind of dance from the late 1980s.

Waiters and waitresses moved around like chess pieces, dressed in metallic clothing that reflected the light. My thoughts wandered to home, and work, and where the hell was my contact, D?

As I stood to check the other side of the room, thinking maybe I’d missed him, my vision went white.

I am standing in a cramped, dingy room, surrounded by four people in lab coats. Three men and one woman. They are focused on a young woman with black hair who is strapped to a wooden chair. They ask her questions, voices competing for attention:

What is going to happen tomorrow?

"What do you see?"

Do you see success or failure?

Can you tell us if this is the right course?

I can sense her feelings.

She is cold, hungry, and exhausted. They’ve been at it for at least twenty-four hours. Her joints hurt from being tied to the chair, and her face hurts from being beaten repeatedly.

I cannot speak to her, and she can’t see me.

And then I was slammed back into the present. I let out a long breath. It always hurt coming back.

I did not know her. At least not face-to-face. But I knew her mind intimately.

We’d been connected like this for at least a decade. I was around two hundred years old when it started. But my episodes had been few and far between, and I was able to hide them. Now...it was getting worse.

I thought maybe a shot of alcohol would help us both, so I flagged down a waitress. She appeared like a mirage. Her short metallic mini dress caught the strobe lights and sparkled like diamonds. Bodies behind her on the dance floor writhed, spun, and moved to pounding bass and screaming guitars. I couldn’t understand the lyrics; they were just high and low notes that hurt my ears.

The Fey had interesting musical tastes.

The waitress cocked one hip out and gave me a bright smile. Her canines had been filed to points, like fangs, and unfortunately, the look wasn’t great. It made her look cheap and desperate. What can I getcha, girlie? she asked.

What do you have on special tonight?

We have the Razor’s Edge tonight, darling, the waitress replied with a smile. Can I get you one?

Why the hell not? I wasn’t doing anything important, anyway. My contact was obviously standing me up. For the third night in a row. Sure.

She leaned in, and I smelled cigarettes on her breath. Just a friendly tip, since you look nice ’n’ all. It’s a very hot drink. It can make you do things you would never do otherwise.

My eyes narrowed. Alcohol does lower inhibitions. Big fucking deal, who didn’t know that?

But this stuff is like alcohol times a thousand, the waitress continued. Her eyes seemed to shimmer in the light, and I wondered if she were Fey, not human, despite her human skin tone. Just be careful whatcha do, mmkay?

Oh, boy. I was in for a wild ride – and so was the Girl. Excellent. Bring it on.

As she left, I wished I wasn’t alone. I wished someone was here with me, and the Girl wasn’t being tortured. My fingers touched a spot on my arm that throbbed – where they’d probably injected something.

The room tilted a bit.

I saw...tomorrow’s newspaper on a screen. Headlines that I could not read. I saw a building blowing up, a great big mushroom cloud of gray, spreading across the city.

Ashes. I smelled ashes.

And death.

I shook my head to clear it. Obviously, I was seeing what she saw. None of it was mine.

My waitress returned with a steaming red beverage in a wineglass. I arched a brow and accepted it. I set it down and rummaged around in my purse, apprehension thrumming through me. I found the money and handed it over, saying my thanks, and toasted her with my drink.

She winked and disappeared into the crowd of dancers.

Whispering Cheers, I took a sip.

And the shit burned down my throat. The fire spread through me, through my arms and legs and ...I should dance.

The strobe lights caught my attention. I wanted to be there, with the others, moving to the music.

I found an empty spot and began to move. I followed the fire; I followed the path the music etched through me. I spun like a ballerina; I moved with the music. I was music, and music was me.

And then it stopped.

My vision went white again.

I am back in the room with the Girl.

Someone slaps her. Her head whips to the side; so does mine. My jaw throbs in time with hers. Pain explodes in my cheek and face.

Okay, that fucking hurt.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

At some point, through the haze of pain, I feel the warmth of blood on my face. I can’t see hers, but I know it’s there.

Reality came back.

I sat down on the dance floor and curled into a ball. I had been in that horrible room with her, feeling everything she felt.

Who was this asshole?

And why was he hurting her?

And why was he hurting me, too?

Tears filled my eyes as my face throbbed. I wiped my nose and my fingers came away with blood. It would heal. I possessed the accelerated healing of the Fey, even though I wasn’t one.

Brianna?

A voice I could barely hear; a remembered dream.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped, spinning around. Cobra, one of my oldest friends, crouched in front of me, his eyes filled with worry. Cobra? I was hallucinating. He couldn’t be here, right?

He put his fingers on my cheek. You’re bleeding! What happened? Why are you here on the dance floor like this? Did someone hurt you?

Yeah, just not me technically. Shit. I so didn’t want to explain this. I’m okay. I just took a little fall and hit my cheek. It hurts quite a lot.

Cobra glanced at the dancers moving around us. And no one helped you?

I shrugged. I guess they didn’t notice.

Come on, let’s get some ice on that. He held out his hands, and I grabbed them. Together we stood.

He was warm. He was alive. He was real.

I led him back to my table. Gesturing to my drink, I said, I strongly suggest not trying that stuff. It’s...very mind-bendy. 

Cobra arched a brow. What?

I sat. It’s called Razor’s Edge.

Cobra looked down at it, wrinkling his nose. I never drink colored drinks. He flagged down a waiter and asked for some ice in a bowl. The waiter fled. I wondered if he was intimidated by Cobra. He was wearing leather, after all. Tight leather.

Waiting for your contact? Cobra asked, grabbing a napkin and gently wiping my face. You look like you’ve been hit.

It’s that obvious, huh? I asked. My contact must be dead or held up, because it’s not like him to blow me off so many days in a row without telling me.

That is strange, Cobra agreed. Your cheek still hurts?

Yeah, I said, not meeting his eyes.

Ice, the waiter said, making me jump.

Thanks. Cobra wrapped some ice in another, gray-colored napkin and carefully touched it to my cheek. It felt nice, and quickly numbed.

Now, I don’t suppose you’ll tell me the real reason why your cheek hurts and your nose is bleeding.

I drew back, surprised at his forwardness. I couldn’t tell him the truth – not yet. I wasn’t even sure any of this was real. The pain was real, absolutely, but didn’t some people feel pain where there wasn’t any? Best not to answer that one. Uh...it’s because I fell. Really.

Cobra shook his head. I still can’t believe no one helped you.

People are weird, I said, eyeing the couples on the dance floor. They all had someone. They all had warmth, and comfort, and laughter.

I did not.

But...I had Cobra.

Impulsively, I grabbed his hand. Thank you for helping me.

Cobra smiled. Anything for you, Bri.

We’d always been friends, and co-workers of a sort. He’d always been helpful, and friendly. But was it all there was? Or was he...I didn’t want to misinterpret stuff. That was madness. No, we were friends, and I would focus on that.

He was hot, though. Really, really hot. He had waist-length black hair and piercing lavender eyes. Sometimes I wondered if he were undressing me with them.

But if I let him in on all my stuff, he’d think I was crazy. And I knew I wasn’t crazy, but proving that to everyone would be tough.

Another slow song started playing. Cobra squeezed my hand and said, Wanna dance? It might take your mind off the pain.

I blinked at him. Sure, I said.

Cobra set the makeshift ice pack down on the table and stood, guiding me around the people swaying to the music. We bumped into a few, murmuring apologies.

My stomach twisted with anxiety. This was a slow dance, nothing else. Friends, right? I put my arms around Cobra’s neck, feeling his long hair caress my skin. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

And...we swayed to the music, getting into the rhythm, lost in this little bubble of our own we’d created.

We talked about rogue Fey, the Fey that Cobra hunted. He was a Fey Touched Hunter, part of a tribe of Hunters that lived and worked in this territory.

The Fey were genetically engineered humans with immortal lifespans and blue-tinted skin. They did not have mana – a soul – so they had to obtain it, usually through legal channels. If they did not obtain it regularly, they either went insane or began to rot. Nasty stuff. Rogue Fey ignored the law and fed on humans to get their mana, usually to the point of death. The Hunters either killed them or brought them in for punishing. They did not stand for rogues hurting innocents. I was not a Hunter, and everyone knew it. Instead of fighting, I gathered intel, which was an important job, too.

I told Cobra about my issues with my contact, and Cobra offered a few suggestions.

He was warm, and he was mine, at least for a little bit. He smiled down at me, and it felt as if I were the only woman in the room.

For a second, I wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

When the slow song ended, we were still swaying together, looking into each other’s eyes.

And then someone bumped into us, and the spell shattered like glass.

So... I said, eyeing a Fey woman wearing a top that looked more like a bikini. I guess we should go back to the table, huh?

Cobra let out a soft sigh, letting go of me. You’re right. We probably should. I suck at fast dancing, or whatever they call it these days.

I suddenly feel very old. I stayed close to him as we headed for the table. Cobra slid his arm around me, his eyes missing nothing. I wanted to believe it was his Hunter instincts compelling him to protect me. I was, after all, unarmed. I wondered if I should learn to use a dagger –

When we got there, Cobra pulled out the chair for me, his eyes on me, and all my thoughts evaporated.

What a gentleman. I sighed with pleasure as I sat.

He sat down across from me, studying my cheek. It seems to be getting better. You still in pain?

I gently touched my cheek. No, it’s mostly gone. Accelerated healing for the win.

Fantastic. Cobra leaned closer, and my stomach did a flip-flop. My fingers trembled. I wanted to run them through his long, black hair. But I restrained myself.

I have to go, I said, standing. The room felt too hot, too small. What if I had another attack? And I ended up on the floor again, and Cobra would see what a crazy person I really was –

What’s going on? He came around to where I stood, his eyes on mine. Something just happened. I don’t think it’s me, so it must be something else...

I nodded. I’m not feeling very well.

Cobra put his arm around my shoulders. I’ll take you home, then. Make sure you’re safe.

Hunter instincts would not let him let me go, would they? I had to be out of there before another attack happened.

I couldn’t look him in the eyes.

Hey. His hands were on my shoulders. His hands were on my shoulders. The room spun around me and blurred. Whatever it is, I’m here to help, okay?

I nodded, but his words were just disconnected sounds. I needed to go –

Bathroom, I said shrilly. And made a beeline for the bathroom, which just happened to be on the other side of the room.

But I never made it.

COBRA

I saw her fall, and it was as if everything went into slow motion.

Her elbow slammed into the floor. Then her knee hit. And then her head.

Everyone around her jumped into action. Finally, someone besides me was getting the message that she needed help. A waiter offered ice; a waitress offered to call an ambulance. One of the other patrons went in search of napkins.

Her wrist was twisted funny.

I made it to her, my heart skittering crazily in my chest. I hadn’t been this terrified for her safety even when we’d almost been possessed by insane ghosts. No, this time it cut me to the bone. She was hurt; I would take care of her.

No ambulance, she whispered, and my eyes went wide.

You need medical care, I said.

Her fingernails dug into my arm. No. We can’t go.

I can’t just leave you like this, I protested.

Brianna seemed to be more alert now, her eyes meeting mine. She struggled against me, trying to get me to let her go. Cobra, please! This is important!

Then I’ll take you home. I looked around me, to the waitstaff and patrons gathered. I think she’s all right. Thank you for your help, though.

Murmurs ran through the crowd, and it slowly dissipated.

I let go of her so she could stand, but I was ready to put her over my shoulder if I had to. Explain to me why you don’t want to see a doctor. You could see Michelle. You know her; she’s safe.

You don’t understand, Brianna said. I can’t see any medical professional about this. They’ll want to see...what it’s all about. And then I’ll become a lab rat. No thank you.

I scoffed. Michelle would never –

Michelle’s a scientist above all, Brianna said, heading toward our table again. She limped a bit. And once she gets wind of this, she’ll want to study me. I can’t allow that to happen.

She sat down at the table and cradled her right hand. I sat down across from her. Why the hell would she not want to see a doctor? That was odd. Apparently, Brianna had something going on that was so extraordinary that any doctor – even Michelle, who was the most ethical doctor I’ve ever known – would rush to study her, just like that? It just didn’t make any sense.

Bri, you know me, I said softly. I would never do anything to hurt you. But you have to understand, this sounds a bit strange. I’ve known you for a long time, and I never knew you had something going on.

She frowned. It all started a few months ago. She looked down at the table and traced the water from the ice pack with one finger up and down the wood.

And what exactly is this? I asked. I was curious – but I was also worried for her safety. She’d been in trouble twice, and both times, I’d been there to help. What if I hadn’t been there? The thought made my guts churn.

Brianna’s head came up. I can’t tell you.

Can’t or won’t? I asked. Because you know I won’t tell anyone.

She shook her head. Can’t take the risk. I’m not even certain of it myself. I just know bits and pieces, flashes of things... She looked so lost that I couldn’t help feeling for her. I’d always practiced alchemy and never made it a secret, but there were a few wacko groups out there that despised alchemists and went around killing them for fun. And the Fey Touched weren’t exactly our fans, either, up till recently when I’d saved their asses for the second time.  But I had a secret, a very big one, and I’d been found out once – and that had been enough. I would do anything to keep it quiet. So I got that. Totally.

I took her uninjured hand in mine. That’s okay. I won’t push. But remember I am here for you always.

Her eyes glistened with tears. Thank you, Cobra. You are amazing.

You are, too, I said, squeezing her hand. Now, I can do a light medical scan on you with alchemy just to see if you have a concussion. Will you let me do that?

She glanced down at our intertwined hands and shrugged. I suppose.

Don’t sound so eager. I might get offended, I said with a grin.

Sorry. I just don’t know if that’s such a good idea.

It will be alright, I said, standing and coming around to her side of the table. I’d been working with more mobile forms of alchemy; that is, spells that didn’t require an altar and a ritual beforehand. This might work, and it might not. But I was curious. Let me help you.

Brianna squeezed her eyes shut as if bracing for pain. I touched her forehead lightly, sending a small tendril of alchemy down my arm and into her head. Very slowly, and light enough so it hopefully didn’t hurt.

It tickles, Brianna said with a smile. Is that how it’s supposed to feel?

Uh, yeah, I said. I actually didn’t know, having never tried it on myself. But I was glad it didn’t hurt her.

I sent the tendril searching for any anomaly – bleeding, swelling, bruising – but what came back stunned me.

There was a piece of metal in her head.

Chapter 2

BRIANNA

My heart slammed into my chest as the thing that tickled became a slight ache. It was centered in one spot.

You okay? Cobra asked, his brow furrowed.

Yeah.

My alchemy is suggesting there’s something there, but not a concussion. Cobra averted his gaze. He tapped the fingers of his free hand on the table.

What is it?

My alchemy doesn’t know. But you’re basically fine, which is great. His smile seemed forced. Did he know something I didn’t?

Cobra... He let go of my forehead, but his eyes stayed on it. Is there something wrong with me? You would tell me, right? My stomach clenched tight as a fist.

Cobra scratched his neck. Um...how can I say this? Did your parents ever have something...done...to you?

I realized that I wasn’t sure. I don’t know, to be honest.

Cobra nodded. Okay, well, that’s something to think about, anyway.

I wasn’t sure if my parents had been Hunters. I wasn’t one, technically. All I got was accelerated healing as a result of the earlier experiments in genetic engineering. Yeah. This was turning out to be a weird night. Would be best to just leave. I shifted in my seat. Look, I should probably get going. I’m not feeling the best, and I could use the extra sleep...

I’ll take you home. I don’t think you should be driving right now.

Will you help me pick up my car tomorrow? I asked.

Cobra nodded. Of course. He fiddled with the gray napkin from the makeshift ice pack. What caused you to fall?

I averted my gaze. Somehow telling him that I was traveling somewhere, seeing visions, and feeling things I shouldn’t be able to didn’t sound like the sanest thing. Instead, I lied. I wasn’t feeling well, and in my haste to get to the bathroom, I tripped on something. Silly me. I tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear, hoping he would stop asking questions.

Cobra’s eyes met mine, and a shiver went up my spine. That gaze said it all. He didn’t believe me. There had to be something else. You looked ill, but nothing came of it.

Yeah. I knew that. And wished I could have thought of a better lie. Damn him. So observant. I was sick, I swear it. I directed my attention to the hot Hunter in front of me and cleared my throat. Why don’t we head out?

Cobra nodded. He came to my side and helped me up. While it was sweet, it was unnecessary, as I felt much better on my feet.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. When he put his arm around me and guided me through the throng to the exit, I felt like I’d just won the lottery. Especially when he projected that whole Hunter protective vibe the Hunter males were known for.

It felt nice.

I felt like I had someone, even if it was temporary and built on lies.

COBRA

Brianna had a nice, cheery apartment. The décor was simple. Bright colors on throw pillows, bright-colored curtains, vivid and interesting artwork on the walls. It was homey and perfect for her.

I found it hard to be depressed in a place like this...unlike my own apartment.

Would you like something to drink? Brianna asked.

That would be great, thanks, I said.

She disappeared into the kitchen. I could hear her rummaging around in the fridge. A few minutes later, she came back into the room, offering me a can of soda. Our fingers brushed as I took it. My heart gave a jolt, and I tried – hell, I really did – not to show that she affected me so much.

I opened it and held it up in a mock toast. Cheers.

She smiled and held up her can. Cheers.

We sat down on the couch, just sipping our drinks. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. We were friends, and I wasn’t the type to rush to fill gaps in conversation. She’d start talking when she felt like it.

Besides, I was here to watch over her. Not necessarily to make stimulating conversation.

Now, if things led to other more fun things, well...let’s just say that I wasn’t opposed. But something told me that it would take a while to crack open her shell. And even then? She’d make it a challenge.

What the hell. I loved a good challenge. So what shall we do? It’s early yet. Got any good movies or –

Actually, I’m very tired. I might just turn in, Brianna said, yawning.

Oh. Well, I’ll keep watch, then. Just...in case.

Brianna stood, her expression unreadable. Thank you. That would be great. She turned to leave, but stopped and faced me again. What are you afraid of? The apartment’s locked. This neighborhood is quiet and safe.

How could I explain that something inside me told me to protect her at any cost? How could I explain how helpless I felt when she had gotten hurt tonight? When she refused medical treatment? There were no words. None.

But I made the attempt anyway. I just feel very protective of you right now. And if you have another one of those... I made a vague waving gesture, ...episodes, you’re alone. You could knock yourself unconscious and need help. So I decided that I should stay. And, I hadn’t actually addressed the locked apartment, duh. And you never know what’s lurking around at night that is not deterred by a flimsy lock on an apartment door. So, either way you slice it, I need to stay here.

She appeared to consider this for a few agonizing minutes, then nodded. All right. That makes sense to me. Thank you. She suddenly looked very uncomfortable. Um. I’m going to get ready for bed. Do you – she bit her lip, and I swear I got hard – want to sleep out here? The couch folds out.

I won’t be sleeping, I said. I’m on watch.

Her eyes widened. But...you need sleep.

I’m fine. Lack of sleep never hurt me for too long. I’ll make like a statue out here. You won’t even know I’m around. Brianna’s eyes fluttered, and I realized that she was sleepier than she let on. Or, you can lie down on the couch. I promise not to bite.

She laughed, but it was weak. Well, I guess that’ll work. I’m too sleepy to care at this point.

I patted the couch beside me. Come on down. You can put your head there, and your legs on mine. I won’t touch you, promise. I was making a hell of a lot of promises that I had no business making. But I would not force the issue. She was...fragile.

And still, in the back of my head, I wondered: what was up with the metal in her head?

She sighed, and it held a fuckton of weariness. Okay. Maybe I should get a pillow...Or not. She laid down on the couch, her legs intertwining with mine.

I wondered if I could behave myself.

Chapter 3

COBRA

The night passed uneventfully. Brianna was fast asleep, and at some point it dawned on me that today was pickup day.

I fucking hated pickup day.

It was a weekly reminder of just how fucked up my life was.

Brianna stirred a bit. I shook her shoulder gently. Hey, Bri, wake up. I needed to get out of there and to the pickup location before everyone else decided to get in line. The lines there were legendary.

Brianna did not seem to want to wake up.

Bri?

Her eyes popped open, and I recoiled. Something...wrong...swirled in them. No... no... Her hands flailed. One landed on my shoulder, and I tensed. What was happening? Was it one of her episodes?

Cobra? she whispered.

I’m here. I put my hand on hers.

And then all the tension went out of her body. She rubbed her eyes. I’m so sorry about that. I was having a nightmare.

There was more to this, but I decided not to push. She was shaking. I pulled her close, enveloping her in my warmth. I snapped my wings out and curled them around us for extra measure. They were like bird wings, the feathers soft. Shh, it’s okay. I’ll protect you from whatever it is that scared you.

But that’s the thing, she said softly, running a finger through some of my feathers. "You can’t. It’s all in my head."

Nightmares suck, I said. I’ve had some doozies, and they sure seemed real.

She nodded. "It was too damn real."

I looked into her eyes. The weirdness was gone, thank Artemis. Can you tell me about them?

She pulled away, but I kept her close. She wasn’t wiggling her way out of this one. It’s... She looked at her hands, linked with mine. The carpet. The ceiling... It was...I was running. And yet I wasn’t moving. Someone was chasing me.

Is this related to your episodes? I rubbed her arm in slow circles to try to relax her. I could feel her heart beating fast, too fast. It’s okay, Bri. It’s just us here.

She shook her head again. I don’t think so.

Maybe it’s stress, I suggested. I tucked one errant strand of hair behind her ear.

Brianna pulled her knees up to her chest. She wouldn’t look at me. Maybe.

There has to be more to this.

I can’t talk about it. She gritted her teeth. It’s not something I can...

I glanced at the clock. I really needed to get going. But I couldn’t leave Brianna here like this. I think we’re past the point of wondering if we can trust each other. I brought one hand down to hers and squeezed it. Something strange is going on with you. I’d like it if you could tell me about it. Maybe I can help.

No one can, Brianna said. "There’s no way to figure it out. It just is."

Nothing is not fixable, I said. And then a truly chilling thought hit me. Was she sick? Was that why she wouldn’t let me in? Because maybe she wouldn’t be...no, that couldn’t be it. And if it was, I’d appeal to Artemis herself. Somehow. She wasn’t sick.

Whoa, I was seriously intense here. Oh crap, did that mean I was imprinting? Because, well...that would add a whole new level of complication to things. Damn it.

Cobra, you’re panicking, Brianna said, looking me in the eyes. Why are you panicking?

How did you...

It’s in your eyes. What are you panicking about?

Sweet Artemis, I couldn’t tell her that I thought she was sick. But then...maybe she’d open up more.

Cobra... She moved closer to me. I could smell the sweet lilac scent of her shampoo, and it was intoxicating. She gently took my chin in her hands. I know I’m being a pain in the ass, and I have no right to ask, but please. Why are you so upset? What’s rattling around in that head of yours?

I couldn’t do this.

But I had to.

Make me a promise, I said. And yay for keeping my voice level. As if my heart wasn’t about to explode into millions of tiny heart-bits and I wasn’t about to bleed on her carpet. Promise me you’ll explain all of this if I tell you why I’m so upset.

Her hands dropped from my chin. It felt as if the floor had dropped out from under us. You don’t want to know. Seriously.

I do, I said, gently taking hold of her wrist. I want to know so I can fix it. Whatever it is.

"You can’t fix me," she said softly.

Oh, Bri. I took her by the shoulders. I wanted to kiss her senseless, but hello, inappropriate. "I don’t mean fix you."

Brianna shook her head. No, I really can’t. It would completely freak you out.

I chuckled. Couldn’t help it. The only thing that will freak me out is if you’re like, a rogue in disguise or some shit. I’m cool. I promise.

I just can’t. I know it’s not fair, but please tell me why you’re panicking. I was about to ask her again to tell me, but the look in her eyes stopped me. She’d tell me in her own time, in her own way.

And then it just came out in one long torrent of verbal suckage. I had this crazy thought that you were sick, and maybe dying, and that’s why you don’t want me to know because then I wouldn’t have to watch you die and maybe pushing me away is your way of making it okay –

Her pale face stopped me cold. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no –

Cobra. Her voice was soft. I’m not sick.

It took me a few seconds to catch up and force myself to say something. You aren’t?

Not at all, she said with a chuckle, but it sounded forced.

I was not convinced.

Okay, she wasn’t dying. But what was wrong then? Okay, let’s back up a bit. Something’s wrong but you aren’t dying, but you absolutely cannot tell me what’s going on? 

Brianna sighed. Nope, I can’t. I’m sorry.

I put my hand on her cheek. You know you can trust me with anything. But okay, I’ll let it go. For now.

Damn, you are persistent, Brianna said, her shoulders slumping. But yes, someday I’ll explain it. Just not today.

I took a breath, let it out. Okay, that’s good.

It’s all I can promise right now.

Obviously, she was done talking about it. On to a different subject. Cool. Now, I have something I need to do. Will you be okay here?

Brianna bit her lip. I think so.

If not, I won’t go. Of course, I had to go, but I’d figure something out. I couldn’t take her with me. She’d be horrified. And maybe she’d hate me. I couldn’t risk it. Honest. This can wait...a bit.

Her eyes narrowed. She had pretty green eyes, I noticed. I have this funny feeling that it can’t. Go. I’ll be okay. She didn’t say it, but her expression said, and please come back.

I’ll go now then, I said, my heart thudding. I didn’t want to leave her. I groped around for my dagger and unsheathed it. I held it out to her, my hand shaking. Take this. Just as a precaution. If anything gets through that door, slice and dice ’em. I don’t care who it is, okay?

She rolled her eyes. Is this really necessary? And what about you?

I smiled. I’m a Hunter and an alchemist. I can take care of myself just fine. I took her hand and touched the hilt to her palm. Please. It’ll make me feel better knowing you are armed.

She took hold of it, then tested its weight. She met my eyes and nodded decisively. I think I can do this. I...can feel your energy in it, somehow.

It was my turn to bite my lip. She noticed? Uh oh. I might have...spelled it recently. For you to take.

Really? Brianna asked, but she was smiling.

I shrugged. Had a hunch you might need it. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? I wanted to kiss her goodbye, but restrained myself. Friends. Just friends.

Hell, I hated this.

All I needed to do was tell her. Tell her how I felt, and tell her my secret. And then...she’d hate me and I’d be fucked.

Because, wonder of wonders, I had definitely imprinted on her.

It was the only way she could feel my energy on my dagger.

Hell.

#

While I waited in line for my weekly dose of mana, my thoughts were centered on Brianna. One track, all the time.

I tried to focus on something else instead.

They’re taking too long, one woman said from behind me. I couldn’t see her eyes, but she was most definitely Fey.

I think the line moved up some, another woman said. Just hang in there.

I thought of the person who needed this mana, and hoped the line would move faster, too.

The line inched forward.

Kashmir by Led Zeppelin started playing. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and said, You have reached the person you intended to reach.

Cobra? said the voice on the other end. It was Joe, my boss. Oh, shit, the meeting! I had forgotten all about it! I’d just been allowed back into the tribe after being exiled. This wouldn’t look good.

That would be me, I said, trying to keep my voice level. The one whom you called.

Someone near me in line chuckled.

So, uh, don’t wanna be hard-ass, but where are you right now?

In line buying mana. Hunting, of course.

Did you forget about the meeting?

I decided to act like I forgot. Probably dumb, but whatever. What meeting?

The one where we rejig the sectors to include you in the rotation, Joe said, sounding remarkably calm. Joe was always calm. "So I’m not sure there is a sector that you should be hunting in today. Although we appreciate the initiative."

Um...thanks? I felt like I was about to choke. What the fuck was I thinking?

But...I needed the mana, and it had to be today, and now...

What the hell was I gonna do?

I couldn’t tell him what I was really doing. And I couldn’t come right over. So...think, dumbass,