Mexico Juice

By Wolf Heinrich

After five years of sitting in orbit monitoring Earth communications, the broadcast of the infamous alien autopsy provides the perfect excuse for space aliens Splig and Dint to break the monotony and get some action.  Mistaking the dead alien in the video for Yablo Dan, their hero and mentor, Splig and Dint load up the shuttle and head down to the surface for a little revenge, meth, and sex.

Short Story 5600 words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wolf Heinrich
• Release date: Feb 20, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386703570

Book preview

After a long day of filling out reports, Captain Splig sank back in his command chair on the spaceship's bridge intending to eat a snack.  He anticipated the taste of the Tragar bar (a favorite amongst the Blamonian Navy) as his conical shaped fingers pulled off the foil container.  Freed from the wrapper, Splig quickly moved in on the bar.  Just as it reached his lipless mouth, just as the Tragar aroma began to trigger the taste sacs deep within his long neck the ship's alarm sounded.  Splig jumped at the klaxon filling the bridge with what sounded like homoerotic death gurgles and dropped the Tragar bar on the floor.

Splig, ever the professional navy man, forgot about his snack and raced from the bridge to the transmission monitoring room.  As he loped down the long-curved corridor his solitary crew mate, Lieutenant Dint, emerged from the from an intersection wearing a hat made from the feathers of a barmbledoo, a flying creature found on their home planet Blamo and disliked for its annoying habit of randomly inserting itself into everyday conversations between fellow Blams with deranged sexual comments.

How about this weather today, one Blam would say to another.

About to respond, the other Blam would find themselves interrupted by the singsong voice of a barmbledoo.

Fuck this weather like your mom.

Only then would they see the squat blind barmbledoo standing behind them drool dripping from its flexi-beak and an ever-increasing stream of feces pilling up behind it.

Then would come the beating of the barmbledoo, but that is neither here nor there.

Dint raced to catch up to Splig and the two aliens reached the transmission room at the same time.  In the