The Ridge: Amanzimtoti, #1

By Carmen-Shea Hepburn

Set in Amanzimtoti, South Africa, the story follows Wayne du Preez as he starts his matric. Completing his final year of high school won't be his only problem however when a boy from his childhood makes a surprise reappearance in small town Toti, throwing Wayne's picket-fence dreams with girlfriend Jess into a tailspin and forcing him to deal with a part of himself he's been denying ever since he shared his first kiss with Kyle way back when...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carmen-Shea Hepburn
• Release date: Mar 14, 2016
• ISBN: 9780995621701

Book preview

The Amanzimtoti Series

Book One

Amanzimtoti: The Ridge

Copyright © 2016 by Carmen-Shea Hepburn

Cover & Interior: L.C. Chase

Proofreading: C.E. Sago

Editing: E. Antippas

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

This novel is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this novel are products of the author’s imagination, and any likeness to real life people or events are purely coincidental.

ISBN (ebook): 978-0-9956217-0-1

ISBN (Paperback): 978-0-9956217-1-8

First Edition: March 2016

Paper Wolf Publishing

For my sisters

Candace & Kelsey

my first and biggest fans,

love you, nunus!

(there, now you finally have proof!)

With special thanks

To Kelsey & Summer

for beta reading this novel and helping me fine tune the little things.

Additional thanks

To Shannen, Rhiannon & ‘The Tribe’

for being amongst my first readers and encouraging me even when I began to despair.

To my writing group in Wellington, NZ

thank you for two amazing years of writing Sundays, crazy Novembers, and the sorts of random discussions that only a group of writers can really get away with discussing!

This novel may never have been finished if not for you guys.

I’m going to miss you all!

Amanzimtoti

(pronounced A-MAN-ZIM-TOTI)

from the isiZulu ‘amanzi mtoti’ meaning

SWEET WATERS

Set in Amanzimtoti, South Africa, the story follows Wayne du Preez as he starts his matric. Completing his final year of high school won’t be his only problem however when a boy from his childhood makes a surprise reappearance in small town Toti, throwing Wayne’s picket-fence dreams with girlfriend Jess into a tailspin and forcing him to deal with a part of himself he’s been denying ever since he shared his first kiss with Kyle way back when…

SETTING

As the author, I realise you might be unaccustomed to the setting of the novel and may find there are words and phrases you are unfamiliar with. To help, I have included a Glossary of Slang at the back of the book. Alternatively, you can also find the glossary on my website: carmenshea.co.uk/glossary-of-slang

TRIGGER WARNING

This novel may contain content that could be considered triggering to certain individuals. If you need to be forewarned about any triggers in particular, please contact me via my website: carmenshea.co.uk/contact

he sun dipped towards the horizon, throwing the sky into a kaleidoscope of colour as it pulled what was left of the day steadily towards evening. It was still warm enough out that none of them suggested they make a move to leave, knowing that once they did, this momentary peace they had found themselves in, would end.

It was the last day of the summer holidays, their last day of freedom before the start of matric, their last ever year of high school. Wayne wasn't expecting the approaching school year to be any different from the previous ones. And yet… he couldn’t shake the sense of unease he felt whenever he thought about what was to come. They had one year left together before they'd have to split and go their separate ways; to college, to university, to start regular nine-to-five jobs. This could well be the last year he saw his best friends with any regularity before they all had to move on with their lives.

I don't want to go back, Jessica said, breaking the silence that had settled between them with a sigh. She sat slumped up against Wayne’s chest, sharing his surfboard as the three of them relaxed just past the constant swell of waves hitting up Toti beach. Her own board floated nearby, tethered to her ankle.

Wayne returned her sigh with a soft laugh, squeezing his arms a little more tightly around her waist and using the break in his thoughts to stretch the kinks out of his back.

You just had to say it, he teased, licking at his dry lips; the taste of the saltwater heavy on his tongue. Now we have to go back.

Jessica made to sit up properly, but Wayne pulled her back in, not ready to let go of the moment despite his own words. She laughed, slouching willingly against him.

Ja, thanks for that, Jess, Travis muttered from the board beside them. He was lying back on his surfboard, head pillowed on his arms.

His chest was bare and darkly bronzed, brown nipples peaking up in a shiver as a cool wind, previously tempered by the warmth of the sun, began to pick up. As he watched, Travis yawned widely, reaching his arms up above his head in a long stretch that arched his back up off his board. He slumped back with an exaggerated groan.

Someone had to say it, Jessica retorted, her dark brown hair tickling at Wayne’s nose as she shifted to look at her brother. If I'd left it to you two we'd be out here all night.

You say that like it'd be a bad thing, Wayne returned, pulling his attention away from Travis and reaching up to brush Jessica’s hair from his face.

It will be when I turn into a giant prune, she warned, glancing impishly at him from over her shoulder. Wayne laughed, nuzzling into her neck.

I'll still love you when you're old and pruny, he promised, ignoring Travis' gagging sounds.

Jessica turned her head a little more to smile at him, her wild green eyes crinkling at the corners as her lips easily found his for a kiss.

He heard Travis moving beside them, the sound of water being displaced before a spray of the stuff suddenly splashed over them, pulling them apart with a wet gasp.

Tray! Jessica shouted, half-laughing as she reached a hand into the sea to slosh a handful of water right back at him.

Travis was laughing, hands held up in defence. Hey, I love you guys, I really do, but I do not need to be watching my best friend and my sister grabbing each other!

Wayne grinned into Jessica's neck, listening with half an ear as she lay into her brother. He caught her hand before she could throw up another handful of water, sliding his pale fingers between her darker ones.

Her skin wasn't as bronzed as her brother's, more a tawny brown to Travis’ darker colouring, but only by a shade or two. It was easy, sometimes, to forget their African heritage when their colouring could be excused by exposure to the sun. They both had dark hair, but where Jessica's hung down her shoulders in a thick wave, Travis' curled tightly to his head in the crop-cut he kept. And where Travis actively tried to embrace the black Canadian colouring of his mother’s side of the family, Jessica tried to hide behind the white South African colouring passed on to them through their father's line.

Jessica squeezed at his fingers before untangling herself from Wayne. Come on then, we need to get back for the braai if nothing else.

Wayne grimaced, but let her go. He couldn't think of anything worse than heading back home to voluntarily spend time with his family for their weekly Sunday braai with the Janssen’s.

We can just grab some food and head over the road; hang out with Rhuby and Cus, ja? Travis offered and Wayne threw him a grateful smile.

You know how père feels about us socialising, Tray, Jessica said, pulling herself onto her own board.

Wayne tried to ignore the way both their eyes slanted to him a moment before they all looked away. Their father might prefer if they 'socialised', but they all knew that Wayne's father preferred that the twins were as far out of his sight as possible. Jon du Preez may not have specifically said anything to them, but to Wayne, he'd made himself explicitly clear that half-black was still black in his book. The only reason he hadn't moered Wayne for dating Jessica was because of his friendship with her father and step-mother. It also helped that Jessica’s father was one of the managing directors for the communications company Wayne’s dad worked for and he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise that.

Travis lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. It'll be fine; we can just say we're going over our summer assignments.

He watched as Jessica's mouth twisted. He'll be more upset with us if he thinks we've neglected our homework.

Ag, but he can't forbid us from doing it for the sake of a braai. Travis grinned. I'll take the lecture over that any day!

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Maybe I'll just say I'm looking your assignments over."

"Trying for Little Miss Perfect again? He sniped back, You know she won't care."

Jessica looked away, mouth a hard, thin line. Wayne frowned at Travis, who shrugged but dropped his own gaze, pursing his lips.

The mood had turned as suddenly cold as the air around them; the sun slipping below the horizon now, the sky more black than blue. Wayne felt his skin prickling with a shiver beneath his rash vest.

Wordlessly, he leant forward on his board and started paddling for the shore, eyes half-scanning for any good waves he could catch on the way back. He heard the twins paddling behind him, their voices hushed, words lost in the light wind as they argued back and forth. He knew they'd make up before they reached the shore.

Their step-mother might be one of the few things that could get the twins into an argument, but she was also the one thing they banded together over.

Eventually, anyway.

ayne winced visibly, trying to burrow his way further into the fold of his arms. The shrill ringing of the school bell ricocheted through his head, signalling for the masses of learners, returning after summer break, to make their way to their registration classes.

Beside him, Travis groaned, muttering threats and curses under his breath. Wayne turned his head, peeling one eye open to see that Travis had lifted his head, a glare in his eyes at the stampede currently pushing its way into the classroom. Loud voices, scraping chairs, the thump of book bags and the squeak of new shoes echoed all around them. Wayne winced again, lifting his head just enough to rub tiredly at his temples.

This is all your fault, he muttered as Travis turned a half-arsed glare on him.

It was your idea! Travis defended, referring to their late night video game session. The only reason they hadn’t played past two o'clock in the morning was thanks to an unceremoniously awoken Jessica, who’d stumbled into her brother’s room and literally pulled the plug on their game.

The twins’ both had bedrooms on the opposite side of the house from the rest of their family, which meant they sometimes forgot the need to be quiet, especially late at night. For although they may not have been able to hear Wayne and Travis as they got progressively louder and louder trying to outdo each other on the Sega, Jessica—with her room directly opposite Travis’—could. And she hadn’t been impressed.

Wayne shrugged. You could have said no.

You could have gone home. Travis returned, kicking out at Wayne and catching his ankle. Wayne jerked his leg back, accidentally kneeing the underside of his desk in the process.

Eina! He hissed, levelling his own glare at Travis as his sour look was replaced with a grin.

You cuddle in your sleep, he teased, his eyes alight with humour as Wayne predictably bristled at the comment.

Ag! I do not. He muttered, pulling back from where he’d been preparing to retaliate with a kick of his own.

His head spiked. The six am wake up call after weeks of late rising definitely wasn’t agreeing with him. They’d had the best of intentions for starting this new school year. Wayne had fully intended to have an early night in preparation for the early morning start, to dress in the freshly ironed uniform his mom had laid out for him, to make sure he’d packed all the right books for the start of his matric year, to maybe even grab some breakfast if he could stomach it before leaving for school with the twins.

He’d… maybe managed two of those things. Getting dressed had been the first, but only after scrambling out of Travis’ bed where they’d collapsed after their gaming session had been cut short, running across the road to his own house to throw on his uniform, brush his teeth, and grab up his bookbag. The second of those things had been to grab the right books, though he’d only managed that by shoving every book he needed for the entire first term into his bag before dashing back across the road to where the twins were waiting to drive to school.

Please tell me today is nearly over? He groaned, cupping his head as their teacher began to call the register. It felt like a hangover, but without the fun part to precede it.

Sure, Travis replied easily enough.

Wayne looked up hopefully. Really?

Nah.

Wayne narrowed his eyes at the grin Travis shot him.

You’re starting to look more awake, he accused, glancing up as the door opened, instinctively checking to see who the late arrival was. He'd already half-turned his attention back to Travis, who’d also looked up, when he realised it wasn’t one of his fellow learners.

And then he froze.

Wayne felt whatever colour was in his face drain away as he whipped his head back around to stare at the guy now standing beside Mr Dukakis’ desk.

He knew him.

Even before Mr Dukakis turned to the class to introduce him, Wayne knew his name. He remembered him. As clearly as if it had been only yesterday they’d last seen one another, Wayne remembered him.

Kyle Van Well.

They’d been kids the last time they’d seen each other, just over eight years ago now. Kyle had been a waif of a boy back then, long limbed and scrawny, with dark eyes and a wicked grin; the same grin that was currently curling at the edges of his mouth as he swept his eyes across the room, basking in the attention thrown his way as the newcomer to Toti High. It was the sort of grin that used to mean mischief, that had gotten them into so much trouble time and time again. The last time he’d seen Kyle smile like that had been right before…

Wayne felt his stomach clench as Kyle’s blue-eyed gaze swept over his end of the classroom. He ducked his head— too quickly— swallowing at the taste of bile he could feel crawling its way up his throat.

The last time he’d seen Kyle smile like that had been right before Kyle had kissed him.

Hey, you alright? Travis asked, nudging his foot against Wayne’s ankle. His voice was barely audible over the excitable murmur around them, but Wayne heard the words as loudly as if he’d shouted them, alerting the entire classroom to his panic.

He glanced over at Travis intending to shrug his worry off, but the smile he tried to force felt like more of a grimace, the effect of which only deepened Travis’s frown.

You don’t look so hot, hey, Travis said, leaning towards him now, concerned.

Wayne shook his head, not knowing how else to reply. He felt sick, afraid, cornered. He wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He startled when he felt a hand touch his upper arm and jerked his head around to find Travis staring at him with wide eyes.

What are you doing? He hissed, flicking his eyes to the way Wayne was curling his fingers into the back of his hand; nails digging into the soft flesh around his thumb, blood beginning to spot up as he pressed and scratched, pressed and scratched.

Travis’ touch became a too-tight squeeze and Wayne tried to jerk away, thrusting his hands beneath his desk as though removing them from sight would somehow erase them from memory too. Travis said nothing, but Wayne could feel the burn of his stare. He kept his head down, unable to look at his friend.

He wished he could just shrug his behaviour off, plaster a smile on his face and act as though his whole world wasn’t currently tilting on its axis, but he couldn’t. He’d never been good at compartmentalising his issues and anxieties so that they could be dealt with at another time, a more convenient time. He’d just learned how to hide the immediate effects: the panic; the sickness; the habit of using pain as an anchor. Even now, with Travis’ eyes on him, Wayne could still feel the sharp pinch of his own fingernails digging into the yielding flesh of his left hand beneath the desk. He didn’t know if Travis could see, and he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to stop.

He felt trapped, his body fighting the rush of his flight response, leaving him frozen, body leaden and unable to move. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, just how irrational his reaction was. Knew that Kyle being back in Toti didn’t automatically mean everyone would find out what had happened between them. Seeing Kyle again didn't mean anything. He probably didn’t even remember Wayne anyway, let alone what had happened almost a decade ago.

Wayne hadn’t forgotten him though.

As much as he’d tried, as much as he’d begged and prayed and punished himself over the years, he’d never stopped thinking about Kyle. Though the memories of him had come less and less frequently as the years went on, it seemed almost ironic that just as Wayne was finally putting his past behind him and getting ready to finish his last year at Toti High (and hopefully Amanzimtoti in its entirety too), that Kyle should reappear in his life.

He glanced up through his fringe, his gaze covert as he raked his eyes over the broad-shouldered guy standing at the head of the classroom, all smiles and laughter as he talked with Mr Dukakis. He looked so different and yet… he was still the same boy Wayne remembered, just a little taller, a little more filled out.

Wayne looked at him and could still remember the soft press of Kyle’s lips against his own, could still taste the grape chappie flavour of Kyle’s wet mouth. He shivered, digging his fingernails more deeply into his hand. The sharp pinch of pain served to ground him, quelling the broiling panic currently curling his belly and urging him to bolt.

He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply through his nose. He could feel Travis’ concern radiating from the desk beside him, but couldn’t bring himself to look around and pretend he was okay. They'd both know it was a lie anyway. Travis was still holding onto his upper arm, his fingers tight in their grip just above the elbow, gently flexing every few seconds as if in reassurance. It helped, a little. Knowing Travis was right there. He bit at the inside of his mouth even as he dragged his fingers away from his hand and clenched them together between his knees instead. He could feel the raw pinch of torn flesh, the air exposure bringing a satisfying sting to his scratched up hand.

Fok. He hadn’t hurt himself like this in a long time. Not enough to actually draw attention.

Travis’ tugged at his arm, drawing Wayne out of his own head long enough to finally look at his friend.

"Yes, sir," Travis hissed and Wayne frowned at him, uncomprehending.

Mr du Preez!

Wayne jerked. Yes, sir! He called automatically, looking towards the front of the classroom where Mr Dukakis was standing, the register in his hand, staring pointedly at him. Roll call.

Thank you, Mr du Preez. Maybe tomorrow you’ll come to school awake and ready to participate? He asked pointedly.

Wayne nodded, feeling his skin flush up in embarrassment as the class tittered around him. His flush deepened as Kyle’s eyes landed on him, their gazes meeting and holding just long enough for Wayne to catch the look of recognition in Kyle’s eyes.

What is wrong with you? Travis whispered, tightening his grip again and dragging Wayne’s attention back to him. He looked away from Kyle, seeing the deep frown currently furrowing his friend’s brow.

Nothing, he muttered, gaze flickering to Kyle and away again when he found Kyle still staring over towards him.

Don’t give me that kak, you’re freaking me out.

He shook his head. I just… I need to get out.

Get out? Of what, class?

Wayne didn’t answer. He shook his head instead and managed to tug his arm free from Travis’ grip when Mr Dukakis reached his name on the register. He glared down at the deep grooves and words carved into the wood of his desk, years of graffiti staring back at him, though Wayne could barely focus long enough to read the childish declarations of who loved who and just how much ‘skool sux’.

He was vaguely aware of Travis calling out his own ‘yes, sir’, and then the low murmur of voices around him as roll call finished and the rest of the class started talking amongst themselves. It all sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away. Like trying to listen to something underwater, the words garbled and unrecognisable.

Travis didn’t try to touch him again. But Wayne could feel his eyes on him as surely as his hand had been gripping at his arm. He tore his eyes from his desk, unable to stop himself from glancing back up towards the front of the classroom. Kyle wasn’t standing there any more. Wayne looked around, unable to immediately see where he’d gone and feeling a renewed sense of panic take hold of him.

He didn’t know which was worse. Seeing Kyle again, or being unable to see him but knowing he was here. Somewhere. In the same room. He tasted blood and had to clench his teeth together to keep from chewing at the inside of his cheek.

Where had he gone? Was he still in the room? He turned to Travis, half-thinking to ask his friend before he caught himself. What was he doing? He felt a cold sweat break out over his skin, his chest tightening as though a fist were slowly closing in on his lungs, squeezing the breath from him. He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t ask. What the hell was he thinking? The first thing Travis would want to know was why he was asking in the first place. He’d want to know who Kyle was, that Wayne should be so interested in him. And Wayne would never tell. He could never let him know how— that they’d— he swallowed back bile, jumping to his feet seconds before the bell rang, signalling for them to make their way to the first class of the day.

Wayne was out of the classroom before anyone else had so much as pushed to their feet. He heard Travis shout out his name but didn’t stop to wait for him. He just needed to get out.

He needed to…

He… just—

Wayne slammed his way into the nearest bathroom. His first instinct was to barricade himself in one of the stalls, but he knew Travis would be incensed enough without having to coax him back out. Instead, he forced himself towards the sinks, twisting on the cold tap and plunging his hands up to the wrist under the chilly spray of water. He bent slightly, cupping his hands and splashing some of it over his face, his breath catching at the shock of cold. He sucked in another breath, holding it a long moment before slowly releasing it; fingers gripping tightly at the edges of the sink.

His left hand was bright red, sore looking around the thumb, and littered with crescent-shaped indentations from where he’d dug in and torn away at his skin. They were mostly shallow. None of them still bleeding at any rate. Wayne thrust his hands back under the spray, trying to wash away the tinge of blood from beneath his fingernails.

The bathroom door slammed open and Wayne winced, looking up into the mirror above the sink to see Travis storming his way into the room.

What the hell, Wayne? Travis snapped, glaring over towards him. His bookbag, as well as Wayne’s own, was slung over his shoulder. He winced again at the sight.

Sorry, he muttered, not-quite meeting Travis’ eyes.

What was that? Travis asked, but Wayne just shook his head, slanting his gaze away as Travis’ mouth pinched down unhappily.

You don’t pull that kak with me, man. You looked like you were about to faint back there. What’s going on?

Wayne swallowed thickly, his eyes flickering to his reflection and taking in the almost grey hue to his already pallid skin. Even the freckles dotted over his nose and cheeks (his only reward for a long summer spent in the sun) seemed to have paled. He lifted a hand to his mess of dark hair, pushing the wet strands of his fringe back from his face with a grimace.

Just… a panic attack, I think… he drew his eyes from his own hooded gaze.

Travis looked more concerned than annoyed now, but Wayne still shied away from his questioning stare, not wanting to give Travis the opportunity to ask: Why now? What set it off? It had been a long time since he’d last had one of those. Years in fact.

I just want to get out of here, he muttered before Travis could form any words.

Travis blinked at him, surprised. What? School you mean?

Wayne nodded his agreement, reaching to twist the tap off. The sudden silence seemed louder than the spray of running water had been.

You can’t be serious, Travis said after a long moment. "Wayne, it’s the first day! It’s barely even the first day."

You sound like Jess, Wayne said, trying to deflect.

Travis scowled. I’ll tell her you said that. He threatened, but they both knew he wouldn’t. She’d only worry about him if he did. And when Wayne remained tight-lipped, it’d be Travis she’d turn to for answers. Answers he wouldn’t have.

They’re gonna letter you, Travis tried. Wayne shrugged, uncaring about some cross they’d mark against his name. Not even when that cross could result in a letter home to his parents.

He’d bunked school enough that his mom barely even glanced at them, signing her name at the bottom with the air of one giving another in a long