Through My Eyes: A Teacher's Frank Advice for Navigating the Challenges of Life with a Special Needs Child

By Jason M. Hufft

CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS HAVE a right to life and the pursuit of happiness, but few people understand the difficulties they face. Through My Eyes is a guidebook for parents, caregivers and teachers to help them navigate the challenges of raising a child with a development disorder including autism or ADD. Through My Eyes is a passionate educator’s frank advice and spiritual guidance for realistically assessing and shaping a child with special needs including character building requirements as well as growth and developmental needs. Through My Eyes is full of hope and encouragement for anyone connected to the task of providing compassionate and effective care to those who rely on assistance to manage day-to-day problems. Readers will find practical tips and resources to care for children who are frequently failed by a broken system, so that they can achieve their full intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and behavioral potential.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ambassador International
• Release date: Nov 22, 2016
• ISBN: 9781620203439

Book preview

Through My Eyes

A teacher’s frank advice for navigating the challenges of life with a special needs child

© 2014 by Jason Hufft

All rights reserved

Printed in the United States of America

Disclaimer: The contents of this book are not a substitute to professional assessment or treatment of mental or emotional disorders. Rather it is a forestep aiding the individual in self-identification of the effects of personal choice in contributing to their present life situation. It assumes that each individual is capable of making life enhancing decisions.

ISBN: 978-1-62020-244-9

eISBN: 978-1-62020-343-9

SCRIPTURE TAKEN FROM THE NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, COPYRIGHT © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 BY THE LOCKMAN FOUNDATION. USED BY PERMISSION.

Cover design and typesetting: Matthew Mulder

E-book conversion: Anna Riebe

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A special dedication to all my students who have given me the useful insight which I now wish to share with the many who are interested in learning more about developmental disorders.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Information

Dedication

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part One: The Conceptual Foundation, Disorders, and Diagnoses

Chapter 1: Attention Deficit Disorder

Chapter 2: Autism

Chapter 3: The Cases

Chapter 4: Characteristics Checklist

Chapter 5: Should I Medicate my Child?

Chapter 6: Labeling and Diagnosing

Chapter 7: Cognitive Processes / Executive Functions

Chapter 8: Developmental Disorders and Violent Behavior

Chapter 9: A Personal Story

Part Two: Special Education

Chapter 10: A Proposed Solution to an Undefined Problem

Chapter 11: Assessment and Measurements

Chapter 12: Grading Without Grades

Chapter 13: The Language of Special Education

Chapter 14: Where Is the Area for Concern?

Chapter 15: Questions Every Parent Should Ask

Part Three: Pathways to Potential

Chapter 16: A Vision of Hope

Chapter 17: Spiritual Identity

Chapter 18: Abilities, Talents, and Skills

Chapter 19: Capturing and Sharing Your Image of Your Child

Chapter 20: Raising Children with Developmental Challenges

Chapter 21: Teaching Children with Developmental Challenges

Chapter 22: Managing Conflicts and Setbacks

Chapter 23: Life’s Miracles and God’s Presence

Conclusion

Glossary

Contact Information

FOREWORD

THE EDUCATION GAP OF THE mid 1950s is quickly disappearing. Educational institutions of all types spew forth graduates with advanced degrees. However, the utility of such degrees of study remains to be seen in commerce and business.

Recently, I read a church bulletin. One advertiser had offered pet sitting services.—she was listed as having Bachelor of Science and Master of Science degrees in animal science. The world has truly changed if one is required to be college-trained to feed a pet or let it out to do its business.

The outflow of graduates is not limited to those with undergraduate degrees, but also includes a flood of graduates holding master’s and doctorate degrees in a myriad of fields which challenge the imagination of graduates about their original goals. The rush to professionalize every aspect of business is not restricted to traditional professions, currently swamped with job candidates trained to assess and diagnose every possible disorder, disability, limitation, or deficit.

The inherent problem: an overwhelming flow of graduates churned out of educational mills can respond to textbook theories and identify clusters of behaviors much like an individual playing darts can hit the dartboard. Their efforts, by and large, do not demonstrate a genuine understanding of human behavior complexities. Their assigned diagnosis—based upon observations or scoring an assessment instrument to indicate deficits or limitations—does not offer meaningful assistance to students suffering from learning disabilities or behavior deficits.

In fact, the mere classification of such students is a disservice to the student and their parents who seek professionals to help guide them to a stable and functional future. Often, school districts incorporate social workers, counselors, and behavior analysts as faculty members in response to federal and state mandates, which govern school district services required to receive continued funding. The net effect on parents and students: encounters increasingly thwart with frustration.

This wave of professionals who shape the future of students struggling with educational concepts is largely trained and dispatched to fill various positions without development of any skills of sensitivity or hopefulness. They present student options as take it or leave it alternatives with little understanding of world developments, and even less willingness to gently embrace each person under their care, no matter which challenges hinder the student’s ability to learn.

While the award of a graduate degree is suppose to be a reliable indicator of so-called expert ability, all too often, the lack of sensitivity and hopefulness hobbles an educator’s capacity to effectively meet the needs of challenged students. Anyone can learn how to sort and classify; however, the art rests in a skillful ability to identify each student’s unique characteristics, and then shape their traits into talents which compensate for limitations and deficits. This awareness is, in fact, what proper education captures: finding ways to help students learn about their world.

In twenty-five years of practice as a clinical psychologist, I have discovered few educators with the capacity to care well beyond the requirements of curriculum. It depends upon the connection forged between teacher and student for the successful transfer of knowledge.

It is my privilege to write the foreword for this book. It has been authored by an individual with a capacity to understand individual need and potential. His capacity was honed in the classroom amid encounters with children of diverse limitations and disabilities.

This author has incredibly useful insights for parents who face the challenges of raising children in an increasingly competitive environment, not just parents of impaired or handicapped children. His sensitivity and belief in the value of each individual comes alive in this book, and is sure to sow seeds of hope and encouragement in the hearts and minds of interested parents. You will encounter his dynamics of caring concern as you read through these pages.

Kevin J. McCarthy, Ph.D.

Dismas Project, Inc.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

FIRST AND FOREMOST, THANK YOU to the One who gave me my gifts, talents, and knowledge. He is Jesus Christ, our God and heavenly creator. Without the inspiration and words I received as I cared for children, this book would not be what it is today.

It is only through Him we receive our abilities and talents. Through His eyes, we all possess abilities which shine whenever we seek to serve His people. This book is written to honor His name. In honoring His name, I seek to serve His people.

Thank you to my family for your support, positive feedback, and inspiration as I developed and refined this book. Without you, I would not be where I am today.

Thank you to all my friends who have given me support, comments, and encouragement during the entire process of completing this work; especially, my great friend, Dr. Kevin McCarthy who wrote the foreword and served as my steadfast champion. Kevin and I combined our work to complete a masterpiece introduction—thank you, Kevin, for your input.

My editor, Carol Henson, also provided great guidance. Thank you, Carol, for the reassurance, ideas, and assistance you so willingly gave to me.

To my colleagues who provided much input, thank you. You have given me invaluable insight about the concerns of regular and special education teachers—a wealth of information.

To my students, the many children I have taught and worked with, thanks to each of you. The knowledge I have today was developed as I worked with great people such as you who have given me so much. My hope is for you to one day pick up this book and read about what I have learned. I also hope you learn as much about you and others, as I have.

INTRODUCTION

SCHOOL SHOOTINGS, WORKPLACE MASSACRES, MASS MURDER IN a theatre, and random killings increasingly plague our society. Recently, the mass shooting in Newtown, Connecticut of twenty-eight people—twenty children aged 6–7—greeted observers of mass media. The void, which follows such incidents, prompts television experts to launch a series of plausible explanations to inform the public about the proposed connection between mental health problems and the prevalence of violence in our society.

Unfortunately, their contrived assertions often bear no relation to the actual facts which influence the development of such events and, in fact, offer no clarity or substantive understanding of the warped dynamics in the lives of these perpetrators. Therefore, when all is said and done, we have little understanding of the influencers which shape these actions. It is so much easier to blame what we do not understand on perceived differences in individual behaviors and mental dysfunctions.

What is the truth beyond our ability to grasp its essence? How many potential time bombs are in our midst, awaiting essential factors of: frustration, isolation, anger, despair, and rage to initiate the next countdown with death? Are these incidents linked to some apparent character flaw in individuals or their family members? Is there something we can do to head off future events of this nature?

The answer is remarkably simple. It rests in our abilities to reach out to others in a meaningful way, and refuse to allow anyone to slip into the psychotic recesses which seem to publicly manifest the private behaviors of perpetrators. It requires, at some level, we connect with people early and somehow continue to forge links with individuals who are different from us.

We do not need to be family members or even close friends to offer this sort of comfort to people who are emotionally isolated. I cannot help, but wonder how many incidents could have been prevented by the actions of another human being willing to offer unconditional care and compassion.

This process starts long before a child has emerged into adolescence, and remains a lifelong need. To properly address this void, requires no child be abandoned no matter how difficult his or her behavior, or how challenging deficits may be.

In practice, no child left behind is far more than a stated policy. It is the personal commitment to everyone’s value and potential. The essential links start during childhood, not in years beyond. Investing ourselves now, will help children currently struggling with serious limitations to develop an understanding of their personal worth and dignity.

If we offer no solution to the nightmare of social isolation, and the reality of practical exclusion which dominates children’s life experiences, then we will continue to be confronted by the fruit of childhood neglect and community ostracism. It will not vanish of its own accord—it must be resolved before it gets out of control.

We cannot hope to influence children from a distance. It takes close work void of platitudes or meaningless counsel. The only way to effectively do this work is to reach out to others in a genuine and sensitive manner. Believe children in need know at a deeper level whether or not our actions are motivated by love and concern, or if we seek to put a band-aid on a festered wound.

Deep inside each of us seeks to be loved and accepted for who we are. Each of us has been given by God unique gifts, talents, and abilities. It is our responsibility to help others find their potential and develop the means to express it. In finding unique forms of expression, special needs children also discover uniqueness in others. Thus, the goal to establish the individual worth of all people is cemented into the character of these children.

Children with special needs have a right to life and the pursuit of happiness. They are our neighbors and often depend on us to gauge their impact on our lives. This dependence is, in fact, how they learn to modify or change inappropriate behavior to participate in community life.

Things which come easily to the majority of people may not come as easily to children attempting to navigate life from a notable deficiency or limitation. Perhaps, it is useful to remember throughout the course of life, we all have had times when we have needed help from others. Kindness and grace are never outdated. They are the fore steps to developing meaningful relationships with others.

To further complicate this process, each individual ultimately has to define his or her views of spirituality. Not religion, but rather, choices of good over evil. One is not likely to imitate our behavior if we are cold and rejecting. We have a responsibility for each life, not just ours.

As we seek to understand individual deficits and limitations, we make connections which shape and influence their lives. So, let us take time and interest to reinforce the worth and dignity of all individuals. Ultimately, as we sow seeds of peace and harmony in our gardens, we certainly reap what we have sewn.

The fact you have begun to read this book demonstrates your willingness to seek a better understanding of human growth and development. All people count. If they cannot understand our desire to help, or if they are unable to express their desire for connectedness to others, we are not relieved of our shared responsibility.

We must work hard to engage all children and find new ways to forge links of care to counter their experiences of isolation and exclusion. In this small way, some children lost to the silence of indifference find strength and renewal in the actions of others.

Consider a child helplessly restrained from life in a wheelchair. Why do so many people draw automatic concern, empathy, compassion, sorrow, and sensitivity toward such an individual? Vast concern and attention is promptly shown for a child in this situation.

The reason: the observation we make of a child in a wheelchair is with our eyes, so we clearly understand the child is handicapped. When we observe a person who appears helpless and dependent upon our abilities—which clearly exceed their abilities—we automatically become sensitive to their needs. We begin to feel sorrow and show concern, while feeling grateful of our abilities.

We wonder why this person does not have the abilities and chances many of us seem to easily grasp and achieve without effort. The observation we make grants us the entrance into thinking which forces us to imagine the struggles such a person must face from daily. Notice the key here is observation, something we see and recognize with our eyes.

Now, consider a person who is crippled in a unique way, but without a physical limitation visible to the human eye. This limitation is unrecognizable by sight as the physical challenge we typically observe in a person who walks on crutches or is confined a wheelchair. Rather, its manifestation is internal, causing the person to struggle and crawl through life.

Such a person’s challenges may be greater than those of an individual in a wheelchair for life. Yet, since the deficits are not visible to the human eye, we show little or no concern, compassion, or empathy for such greater limitations.

The absence of this manifestation is the reason for the absence of empathy or concern for such individuals. Their challenges are basically hidden, making us unaware. My goal and duty for writing this book is to raise awareness about latent challenges and give prominence to lives spent in a wheelchair invisible to the human eye.

We often encounter people in our lives who exhibit behavior beyond our understanding. The behavior we experience through our encounters with others often lead us to either respond negatively or remove ourselves from their presence altogether.

Due to our ignorance of deficits the individual may face, which contribute to their behavior, our only known response is avoidance. Unfortunately, these individuals become societal outcasts since our ignorance contributes to the reason their behavior remains.

The individuals of whom I am speaking are the many we may have come across in our lives, but never understood the explanation for their actions or behavior. They may be acquaintances; we may, in fact, identify ourselves as one of these people; or we may even identify our child as one of these individuals. Although, behavior may be observable and present in adults, the individuals referenced throughout the remainder of this book are children—the foremost victims of neglect and negative societal responses.

Have you ever encountered someone who does not mind his or her business? Have you ever met someone who demands authority over others with no apparent justification? Have you ever noticed a person who is argumentative, rejects the opinion of others, and struggles with developing friendships? How about someone who is extremely disorganized not only with his or her things, but also in daily activities?

Have you ever encountered a person with inexhaustible energy, unable to calm down or relax? How about an individual who appears strange, and the explanation for his or her behavior is seemingly impossible to discover? Have you ever inquired what causes an individual to engage violence and take the lives of innocent people?

Consider the mass school shooting in Connecticut in December 2012 or the Colorado movie theatre massacre. Have you ever inquired what drives such behavior or the desire to exert such harm?

If you have ever encountered people of this nature or asked about what causes their unique, indescribable behavior, you have begun the exploration of individuals living with exceptional challenges. Fortunately, you have reached a moment to receive explanations about the many reasons for strange, yet unique behavior exhibited by many people in our daily lives.

My goal and duty for writing this book is to not only inform you about the reasons for these behaviors, but to also provide you with answers and tools to create harmony within your lives, and the lives of families of individuals with exceptionalities.

PART ONE

THE CONCEPTUAL FOUNDATION, DISORDERS, AND DIAGNOSES

BIRTH LIMITATIONS, MORE COMMONLY KNOWN as developmental disorders, have become quite an interesting field of study. Over the past few years, I have taught and worked with children at the elementary grade levels with developmental challenges, including some as early as kindergarten.

I remember the day I was given my class assignment for my second year as a teacher. I received a class of twenty-seven students with challenges; absolute shock would have been the typical reaction to the situation. Fortunately, I was extremely fascinated by my students and wanted to learn a great deal about them. The experience has increased my interest in other fields of study, including psychology.

As I have worked with these children, I slowly realized similarities in certain behaviors, varying levels of unique behaviors, and the reaction others had to them. Having such a large number of students at one time gave me the chance to see this, and I came to the realization few people understand the difficulties these children experience.

In response, adults either neglect the children or simply respond with anger because they do not understand what a child needs. This reaction happens when a child stands out in a classroom of children not behaving as he or she does. When his or her behavior is exhibited among others within the same group, similarities become easier to recognize, and the distinctions can be easily noted.

I have had the opportunity to work in regular education classrooms. Students from the regular classroom did not exhibit the same behaviors as students in my classroom. Additionally, I had the opportunity to recognize the behaviors of my students among their peers in the regular education classroom. They stood out from the rest of the students because the others were not performing the same behaviors.

Many of the teachers I have worked with in the field have also benefited from my experience with special needs children. I have given these teachers useful insight into the reasons behind various characteristics exhibited by children with birth limitations.

Although, I have mainly referred to children when considering birth limitations, the truth is these deficiencies are recognizable in adults, too. After having worked with children for so long, I recognize challenges in the entire human being and reasons behind their distinct behaviors. Having seen and recognized the same characteristics in adults, as observed in children in the classroom, I know birth limitations have been evident for a very long time.

Today, schools, physicians, and psychologists are finding increasingly more children with birth limitations or disorders often identified and diagnosed directly after birth. Unfortunately, now individuals are being labeled without consideration of what is most important in their lives.

Though the various diagnoses and related characteristics will be explained later in this book, the basis of life must be considered the most imperative focus. This basis comes from the One who created each of us. Quite simply, we are each placed on this earth for a purpose in the fulfillment in God’s plan.

We should take a whole person approach rather than a deficit or limitation approach. In other words, let us view developmentally challenged children as individuals, the entire individual. Rather than focus on their strengths or limitations, let us consider both. One cannot be considered without the other.

Strengths or abilities cannot be identified until understanding limitations and their characteristics are thoroughly explored. These limitations and characteristics cannot be completely understood without the experience of several different cases. One experience or having one child with a birth limitation does not grant complete understanding of the disorder.

Although we begin by exploring the limitations, characteristics of limitations, and severity of limitations, we will conclude with an examination of the unique abilities and potential many individuals possess. Unfortunately, the misunderstanding and unawareness of limitations stems from expectations which exceed the ability levels of many special needs children. Again, my goal and duty is to create awareness and understanding.

Today, school systems focus on grades and test scores while overlooking and ignoring the reasons for undesirable outcomes produced by students. While many tend to purely focus on limitations, deficits, and impairments of children with developmental challenges, such impairments and developmental conditions are overlooked because school systems are not politically in the position to label, diagnose, identify, or discuss medical conditions.

Therefore, limitations and truths regarding the conditions of many children are overlooked and ignored as contributors to the failed progress many students exhibit daily. Proposed solutions within the school systems are then developed, but become solutions to problems not yet identified: the limitations faced by children with developmental challenges.

These proposed solutions are created primarily due to limited knowledge about the many developmental disorders and the lives of children living with them. As a result, this lack of knowledge promotes excuses created within school systems whereby blame is placed on individuals in direct relation to the sufferers of developmental challenges.

While existent outcomes are tied to stated educational benchmarks, the reality has become an unarticulated dream about, or perhaps a proposed response to, an undefined problem. The end result is a political response, a patchwork of contrived remedies which fail to address the unique spirituality of each special needs child.

We will begin an exploration of the different birth boundaries or developmental disorders. Throughout this book, these disorders will be referred to as: executive function disorders for a reason explained in chapter 7. For now, we will cover the two most commonly labeled and diagnosed disorders of our time: attention deficit disorder and autism.

CHAPTER 1

ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER

WORKING IN TODAY’S CLASSROOMS HAS opened my eyes to the differences in a typical classroom attended as a student. From a teacher’s perspective, children are more difficult to manage because many uncontrollable behaviors along with other factors are making the teaching profession a much greater challenge than ever before. My veteran colleagues have shared the differences in students compared to previous years, especially the number of children diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD).

A common diagnosis of today’s young schoolchildren, ADD has become increasingly widespread due to recent studies and findings of related characteristics to the diagnosis. The diagnosis of ADD has been made for centuries, but was not recognized or labeled as such in the past. It is prevalent among many adults, too, but many have not been diagnosed due to this lack of recognition.

The problem stems from the fact the disorder is not as easy to recognize as many may think. An understanding of how the mind works, as well as the different behaviors related to the diagnosis, is required.

People often believe they fully understand ADD based upon