Faith Hope & Fury

By Laura Antonelli

The mind processes the highs and the lows of life that pass through our conscious and our unconscious thoughts.
That process becomes a balancing game cancelling out the extreme highs with extreme lows or sometimes by throwing us into a state of denial. When that happens we simply retreat from our reality or make one up.
Faith was on a high.
One of the highest- All consuming love.
She had a vision of how life would be.
It didn't happen.
The Mind in its infinite wisdom will always protect itself first.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WoolysWagon ePublishing
• Release date: Dec 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370146123

Laura Antonelli

Laura Antonelli, originally from Algonac, Michigan is an author, mother and a survivor. Raised in an isolated area Laura was the youngest of four children. Her siblings were much older and young Laura found herself responsible for her own entertainment. She developed a love of poetry, in particular Edgar Allen Poe and a diverse interest in music. Excelling in writing at an early age she also has an interest in the arts which she participated in throughout her high school years. Laura lives with Bi-Polar Disorder which has been a personal struggle since the age of 14. Despite her problems with failed marriages, mental and physical abuse, drug addiction, and medical dilemmas requiring five major surgeries in 7 years (during which time she wrote her first book), she still managed to raise her daughter and obtain a college degree. Life has given Laura an untold wealth of unusual experiences upon which she draws in her writing. Life has not beaten her, however. She continues to confront her burdens in life head on with hope and optimism while she pursues her continuing education and writing goals.

Book preview

<<<>>> CHAPTER 1

There’s not much left here but heartache, she thought out loud as she packed the last of her things in the one remaining box. The tears continued to flow, along with a runny nose. Tissue, now blow. She heard her mother’s voice. She wondered how it ever ended up this way. She ached inside, in her heart.

There was nothing left. After everything, all that they had been through, it ended here. The farther she could get from her memories, lovely and wicked, surely the better off she would be.

She dropped dejectedly onto the bare floor near the box. Who was she kidding? They would surely follow and haunt her for the rest of her life. She could not run that far, or that fast. It all seemed a haze. Even looking at it dead on, with no doubt, the reality was still out of her mind’s grasp. Not now...maybe not ever, would she be able to grasp what was the truth.

She agonized over this move and wondered how she would muster the strength to start over. Her brother Kyle had been her rock since the funeral and she felt so lucky to still have that much, at least. She couldn’t remember a time when she and her brother had ever fought. Not even so much as a harsh word had ever been spoken.

They walked out of the house and she locked the door behind her, not leaving the key. It was her last connection to him, to their lives together. She folded her fingers around the key protectively, then slid it into her purse. As she and her brother got into the rented moving truck, she was still crying.

Are you okay? Kyle asked. His words woke her out of her own thoughts.

Yeah, I have to be, right?

They drove in silence. Her tears soon subsided but the ache in her heart and the butterflies in her stomach did not. She prayed to God they would. She had prayed for a lot of other things and in time, her prayers were always answered. She had faith. That was the one thing that she knew, that she had always known. The one thing she could count on to be there.

She had never been on her own…there was always someone–mother, boyfriends, Seth. Sleeping in the same room as a child with her sister, Dawn. Sleeping in the same bed as her boyfriends, in the same bed with her husband. Faith didn’t quite know if she was really okay now, or if she ever would be again.

What a quaint little town, she thought as they traveled the winding road to the northern thumb town that lined Lake Huron. It was autumn, the leaves hues of red, orange and gold. The two pulled up to the Victorian style house halfway across the country, in Lexington, Michigan.

Although it was a tourist town for antique shopping, fishing and camping, it was October and the streets were quiet now. Kyle jumped out of the truck, happy to finally be there. Faith, on the other hand, was still sick inside. The back doors of the truck were open and she was looking at her entire life in boxes. Scott and Bill, friends of Kyle, pulled up in a truck behind them.

The door of the big house swung open and there was her landlord. She had rented out the upper floor of the grand house. It was beautiful, with hardwood floors and French doors off the dining area leading out to an enchanting garden balcony.

It will look fantastic when all your stuff is set up in here, Kyle shouted.

Shhh! I don’t want Mrs. Anderson to think I’m going to be obnoxiously loud!

No, she thought, a lot of quiet nights at home was what she had to look forward to. Just the thought of it made her lonely. Her mind flitted about as she watched the men removing her belongings and taking them inside. Maybe a cat. Maybe not, too much work. Fish? No, they die too quickly, although that would be better, to die quickly, than to live with the severe pain she was feeling now.

It began with pain, as she recalled. She and Seth had met by accident, literally. Lost in her thoughts, drifting back in time, Faith hardly noticed Kyle’s departure, except for the touch of his lips on her cheek. Surrounded by boxes, in the shadows of sunset, Faith remembered that frantic day.

<<>>

She was rushing to her car while hopping on one leg to adjust the strap on the back of her high heels. She jammed the keys into the ignition and hit the gas. Barely remembering that it was she who was in the driver’s seat, she searched her purse for her lipstick. Flipping the rearview mirror away from its purpose, she turned her concentration to the mauve color that now graced her mouth. Without warning, she was slammed into the steering wheel and all went black.

The car in front of her was still spinning uncontrollably. When it came to its final resting place, he shook his head in fear and disbelief. Pulling himself back into reality, he surveyed himself in his mind from head to toe. I seem to be all there, he thought. Knowing that he could not open the driver’s door, he slid across the bench seat of his Chevy and still shaking, flung the door wide. As he stood in the road with others gawking in shock, he felt sheer terror at the site of the person slumped over the steering wheel of the car attached to his. Without thought, he ran over to her and ripped the woman from her car and laid her on her back on the cold concrete.

Eyes wide he looked at her innocent face. She couldn’t be more than twenty. Beautiful ivory skin surrounded by thick red curls that seemed to be set ablaze by the morning sun. Though only seconds passed, it seemed an eternity before she fluttered her lashes and opened emerald eyes glazed over with shock. Magenta streams of blood dripped through her cascading locks. Seth reached his hand down and touched her face.

Are you okay? he managed to spit out.

Bending down on one knee, he reached into his jacket and retrieved a white handkerchief. He began to blot the blood from her pale, satin forehead.

I…I think so, she muttered.

His next words were drowned in the sound of the sirens and her eyes closed again with the impression of the colored lights flashing in her mind. She did not think of it, but she would see him again.

Day turned to night and night to morning when she finally awoke wondering where on earth she was. The clanking of a medication cart coming closer let her know that she had not made it to her interview. The nurse approached with an annoying grin.

Well now, Princess Faith has risen! Here dear, let me adjust that pillow.

Faith squinted at the adjustment of the window blinds that followed and clutched her bed sheet as the distant familiarity of a pounding headache returned.

Oh, good golly, let me get you your pills, you must be in awful pain!

The woman returned in seconds pouring pink and blue tablets into Faith’s hand, then placing a small cup of water in the other. She gagged as she choked them down a very dry throat.

Wh-Where am I? What has happened to me?

Just hold on dear, your doctor will explain everything to you in just a moment.

Oh, speak of the devil! Good Morning, Dr. Sparks.

The nurse disappeared as fast as she had appeared. Faith looked up at the man’s chiseled features. Cute, she thought; I should be hospitalized more often. He looked her over and flashed a white, stimulating smile.

Will wonders never cease! We thought you might not wake up so soon, or maybe not at all. Thank goodness that’s not the case. How do you feel, Faith?

I’m okay, I guess. What happened?

You, my dear, were in a terrible car crash, but witnesses say that your lips looked fabulous! You know that make up application is best handled at home, huh? He filled the room with laughter.

Was I the only one, I mean, was any one else hurt? My God, no one was killed, were they?

Flashes of a man leaning over her clouded her mind…was he an angel? She wondered. She remembered his face–ice blue eyes, with sandy brown hair. Her mind quickly brought her back to the sound of the doctor calling her name.

Faith, are you here? Dr. Sparks reached for his pen light.

I’m sorry doctor, but who did I hit? I–I mean he wasn’t injured was he?

No, No. I distinctly recall him stating that he felt fine.

What do you mean, was he here too?

Why, yes he was. He was concerned for you and rode along in the ambulance. I assumed the two of you knew each other.

Is he–

No, he’s gone now, but there’s an unread card in that bouquet of flowers.

He snatched it out and gave it to her. She struggled to open the envelope of the tiny card and received the painful reward of a paper cut for her valiant efforts. She slid the card out of its envelope. After reading the message scrawled on the card, she uttered his name out loud for the first time.

Seth.

Excuse me? questioned the Doctor.

His name, it’s Seth. He’s asked that I phone him to let him know that I’m okay. By the way, when can I go home?

Not so fast young lady. Let’s find out a few things first. It’s my job to make sure you’re okay, remember? Now, what is your name?

Faith McKinney.

All right, and who is the President?

Unfortunately, George W. Bush. What the hell does this prove? I feel fine and my headache is gone now. I can wiggle my fingers and toes, too. See!

Well then, Ms. McKinney, I’ll set you up for some more tests next week and write a prescription for pain. Then, if you’ll just give me the number of a family member or friend who can retrieve you, you’ll be on your way.

She thought a moment remembering that she had totaled her car.

Well, my mom’s number is 555-1290. She doesn’t handle a crisis well; so break it to her gently, okay?

Okay. What is your mother’s name?

Candice. Candice Seledon.

On my way, and Ms. McKinney, take care now. He left the room.

Oh, God, she thought. Dealing with her mother was the last thing she needed right now. On top of that, if she had made it to the interview she might not need to ask her mom for a loan to pay her rent. Maybe she could reschedule and still get the job. Just not in time to pay her rent. She drifted off to sleep only to be awakened by a tightening blood pressure cuff and some great timing by mother dear.

Oh my God, Faith! You’re blood pressure is so high, you could have a stroke!

Geez, Mom, please! You’re the one who’s about to have a stroke!

Actually, her blood pressure is pretty good for someone having been through what she has. Not to mention just being startled awake by my intrusion.

The nurse removed the cuff as the look of shock drained slowly from her mother’s face. Candice stood there gawking at her daughter.

Faith leaned her head back and sighed.Oh Lord. Can I go now?

Yes. Your release papers are here. Be sure that you follow the instructions and someone should stay with you for the first twenty four hours, the nurse cautioned.

The drive home was hell, as Candice’s unending questions and babbling almost caused more than another five accidents.

Jesus, watch what you’re doing mother. I don’t need another bang on the head.

Candice was visibly shaken having just had to make a quick move to swerve around a delivery truck. Faith hated to yell at her mother, who somehow always shrugged it off with the understanding a mother has for her child. Candice had raised Faith by herself, and although it was never easy, somehow they managed. Faith’s father had died of a heart attack when she was five. He was much older than her mother and Candice had not re-married quickly. Faith was twelve when her mother met Arthur.

They married after a year of dating. Five years later, right after Faith graduated from high school, Arthur ran off