Galactic Fist of Legend

By Scottie Futch

In the year 2018 a bright star appeared near Earth. Humanity as a whole was briefly introduced to a race of beings far beyond their understanding. During that brief interaction a proclamation was made, Defeat the Grand Emissary or become the eternal slaves of those who had arrived at Earth.

The only chance for victory was for people all across the globe to make a choice. When prompted to become a champion and a play a bizarre game of life or death they could choose yes or no. Those who chose no, went about their lives afterward. All memory of the event was lost despite the fact that their very existence as a free species hung by a single thread.

Will those who said yes manage to survive the horror of the game and become strong enough to defeat the Grand Emissary. Can one of them become... The Galactic Fist of Legend.

Also, it's a comedy with significant parody elements. Pretty obvious, right?

This story is part of a multiverse project known as Project Scott. It features a main protagonist who's name is similar across multiple books but who is not the exact same character each time. It is a labor of love, and of goofy humor. Other stories in the project include Freelance Saga, Galataea Crystallim, and Origin ARS.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Scottie Futch
• Release date: Nov 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370544783

Scottie Futch

I am a former soldier, but current lover of pop-culture. I like anime, manga, comics, animation in general, and zombies. I always have to mention the zombies! Anyway, I spent four years in the US army as an Advance Field Artillery Tactical Data System Specialist. This is a fancy way of saying, "Guy who coordinates the battlefield and makes coffee." I am irreverent in nature. I tend to laugh at the strangest things, and usually those things are inappropriate to laugh at. This sort of fascination with the inane leads me to write comedy stories, and off-the-wall adventures.

Book preview

Galactic Fist of Legend

Volume 1

By Scottie Futch

Copyright 2016 Scottie Futch

Smashwords Edition

License Note: This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Author's Note: This story involves the utilization of elements of parody. All characters who resemble well-known characters in gaming, anime, and pop-culture in general, are crafted as a means to gently poke fun at those popular characters and the fandoms that have grown up around those characters.

No claim over the original source material is made, or implied. The characters and locations that appear within this work do so under 'Fair Use' doctrine, and are only crafted in such a way as to 'speak to the original' while maintaining their own separate and unique identity. Further, it is asserted that the parodied variations of characters and locations mentioned in this story are so far removed from the original that they can in fact stand on their own as separate intellectual concepts.

This work is created in the spirit of entertainment and as a celebration of the concepts and parodied works found herein. Now, let us all come together and revel in the random fits of insanity.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1: Born to be Wild

Chapter 2: Dead Man Walking

Chapter 3: Unlimited

Chapter 4: Get Some, Big Sexy

Chapter 5: Bounty Star

Chapter 6: Companions

Chapter 7: Congratulations Mortal

Chapter 8: Protection from Evil

Chapter 9: Go Team Devil

Chapter 10: Don't Leave Me, Wiggle!

Chapter 11: Soldiers of the Shroom

Chapter 12: Talk to Me

Chapter 13: Get Hard

Chapter 14: Prepare for Total Domination

Chapter 15: Game On

Chapter 16: Strike of the Cobra

Chapter 17: Dance of the Mongoose

Chapter 18: Kitty, I'm Going Home

Prologue

The cosmos is a grand ever shifting stage on which the great drama that is life unfolds. Each moment that passes is an irreplaceable existence. The night-time sky lies to those who bear witness to its grandeur. The lights shining from uncountable stars and planets fills those who view the sky at night with a sense of fullness. Yet, the truth is a hard thing to grasp. Those lights are but the flickering signs of hope in a vast and eternal darkness.

Those stars, pitiful lights that shine for but a brief time, are all that stand between the fragile balance of life and frozen oblivion. Though always moving in the same pattern forever, they provide a point of reference for those who gaze upon them. So then, how might someone who looked up to and relied upon those stars take it when one of them began to move of its own accord?

In the case of the people of Earth, the reaction was keen speculation. The scientific community was in an uproar as a new star appeared in the heavens, one that moved toward the Earth with incredible speed. For the better part of a year the concerned population watched as it grew brighter. No one knew how long ago the star began its journey toward Earth before it was noticed, but within that one year time-frame its appearance grew to the size and intensity of the moon.

People across the globe saw it as a sign of the end of days. In many ways, their misgivings proved to be correct. On the third of October, in the year 2018, everything changed. The divine judgment that many had long thought would come did, in fact, arrive. It did not come in the form of a religious decree, or the return of a savior. It came in the form of a small blue screen. The paper thin bit of light popped up in front of each person across the world at exactly the same time. Even those who were unconscious at that exact moment, or even those who were blind, saw that screen inside their mind.

[Congratulations Mortals!]

Due to the many advancements that you have made as a species, we have determined that you meet the minimum standard qualities for eternal enslavement as a suitable power source. While the psionic potential of your species is still in its infancy, it has developed to the point that we might be able to use your people to power one of our intergalactic colony worlds in the future.

Good job! We appreciate your efforts.

Unfortunately, intergalactic arbitration agreements have forced us to allow you to decline our attempt to enslave your species for all eternity. We recognize that the possibility of missing out on the opportunity to become our power source might be considered a great sadness for you. However, the law is the law.

You are now granted one chance to become a champion of your species.

It is a mere formality of course. You are technically allowed the chance to enter into a winner take all battle to the death, or even multiple deaths depending on your style of play.

The battle field will be located in what might be considered parodies of your beloved current mythologies. Everyone who accepts the call will be taken and placed into terrible danger for the sake of your species. Death is both highly probable, and a sad waste of a potential power source. However, in the spirt of fair play, we do have to offer you this chance to opt out of becoming our eternal slaves.

While you have absolutely no hope of victory, if you should develop even one person capable of defeating our [Grand Emissary] in combat we will acknowledge your desires and regretfully allow your species to continue to wallow in the existential nightmare that is free will.

So, anyway. Would you like to play a game?

[PS:] You can totally say no. We won't mind getting on with things. There's no point in putting yourself out there and taking the risk of a gruesome and terrifying death after all. Click [no]. It's OK. Go ahead. Click no...

[Yes | No]

[--]

Suffice it to say, humanity was not ready for such a bizarre thing to occur. The people of the Earth were even less prepared when millions of people spontaneously disappeared. For a brief time there was mass hysteria and rioting. Soon, however, it did not matter. Those individuals who chose to enter the game were forgotten after a few days. The minds of those who remained behind lost all knowledge of the event. Their memories were stripped away in regards to those who bravely defied death on their behalf.

The great star in the sky disappeared from view. Not even a hint of its existence remained in the minds of the people. While the physical evidence of the star's arrival was left behind in the form of blogs, videos, and other things, a strong mental suggestion buried within the psyche of everyone on the planet caused them to avoid thinking of such things.

It was not long before those who remained behind returned to their normal lives as though nothing had happened. Outside of the occasional sense of wrongness about the world that many felt, nothing more was said about the wandering star. Nothing was mentioned of the people who chose to fight for the sake of humanity.

Oblivious, focused only on their own lives, those who were left behind might never know the terrors that awaited those who took up the challenge set before the whole human race. They would not know the stories of those who fought until the final champion fell, or the Emissary was brought low in defeat...

Chapter 1: Born to Be Wild

Darkness, an all-consuming and unending darkness, was the totality of his experience from the moment that he awoke. Briefly, he thought that he'd gone blind, or deaf, or perhaps he'd even died. He did not know what happened to him. He knew only that something terrible occurred.

He screamed out incoherent gibberish for a time. It proved two things. He still possessed both a body, and his lungs still worked. What good screaming into the endless night did for him, he could not say for certain. It did not matter much, but it was still a minor comfort.

After some time passed, he knew not how much, things slowly began to change. The darkness began to shift. It roiled and twisted like a living thing. Somehow, he began to make out shapes and images. He did not recall exactly what happened next as he fell unconscious once more. However, when he awoke it was to a different sort of darkness.

What the hell? he asked groggily as he sat up in the dimly-lit room. He wondered where he was for a moment. It was hard for him to think. His body felt numb, like he'd been drugged. The room span a little in his field of vision while he looked around.

The only sights and sounds he could see were the cold gray walls, a glowing ball of light, and a single door. Immediately, he rose to his feet and staggered toward that door. He leaned heavily against it while he sought some means of opening it.

He searched every inch of that door with his fingers, but it was perfectly smooth and could not be opened. Honestly, the only reason that he thought it was a door was its different appearance when compared to the wall. It was made of some sort of metal, or perhaps a particularly hard ceramic. He could not be certain.

He started to pound on it after a moment. He screamed for someone to come. After a short time passed he gave up.

There was no way to know how much time passed after that, but eventually he began to recall recent events. I wasn't sleeping... Was I? He looked around once more. Is this a dream?

Never in his life had he dreamt of being trapped in a room with a glowing ball, but he'd certainly had stranger dreams. After he spent some time searching the walls, he turned to the most obvious thing in sight.

The glowing ball of light hovered in the center of the room without care or concern. Was it a light source, or something more? He approached it carefully to see what would happen. Until now he was wary of it, but at the moment he was out of options.

Once he approached within a certain distance of it, a curtain of energy flared outward. He threw his arms over his face with a loud cry. Nothing terrible happened to him. A brief time later he lowered his arms and saw that something had changed. The light had shifted in size and shape. It now resembled a transparent three dimensional version of himself. Floating in the air near his doppelganger was a series of words and numbers.

It took a moment to realize it, but when he did his eyes widened. He slowly shook his head. This... that floating square was telling the truth? Before his eyes, he bore witness to what he could only see as a video game status interface.

[Status]

[Name: Scott Davidson]

[Age: 20]

[Race: Earthling]

[Level: 0 [0.00/1000]

[EXP: 0.00]

[Life Span: 1 Day(s)]

[ATTRIBUTES]

[Strength: 1.07][Resilience: 0.89]

[Vitality: 0.81][Dexterity: 0.78]

[Concentration: 1.48][Charisma: 0.74]

[FEATS]

[None]

[POWERS]

[None]

[--]

This, how is this even possible? asked Scott as he stared at the transparent image. How was any of this possible? When did life become something so strange that a giant star would appear in the sky and tell everyone to play a game or die? More to the point, why did chose to accept?

A siren blared suddenly. A loud voice announced. The game begins in five minutes. Please study the information provided if you value your life.

What the hell? asked Scott. Shocked by the sudden noise, he looked around wild-eyed for a moment.

A blue screen popped into view. On its surface it held an image of a rundown old farm house. Below it, certain information was provided.

[Reality Overview]

You have chosen to become a champion for the people of Earth. This annoys the Grand Emissary as it prolongs the amount of time that it will take to destroy your civilization and acquire the souls of your species as a power source.

Normally, your impertinence at denying a swift and just destruction of all that you hold dear would end with an excruciatingly painful death. However, the powers that be have decreed that there must be some sort of fairness in these undertakings. You have been granted a stay of execution for one day, but to survive longer you must pay the toll.

The toll comes in the form of EXP. You must expend one hundred EXP on your lifespan in order to survive another day. You may purchase as many days of continued existence as you wish. However, you must also spend EXP to purchase food, clothing, weapons, fantastic powers, candy, exotic prostitutes, or anything else that you may desire.

The only items that you cannot purchase are personal resurrection, or your freedom from the game. Someone else must pay the price of resurrection on your behalf, whether that price be paid in EXP or by some other means.

At present, you have made no contacts with other champions. You will not be allowed to do so for at least one [home] week. You have also made no friends among the local peoples who inhabit the game worlds that you will visit.

The only way to leave the game is to defeat the [Grand Emissary]. You may challenge him at any time. However, you only get one attempt and will not be provided information regarding his abilities.

PS:[He's like, super easy to beat, though. You should attack him immediately.]

If you die during combat with the Grand Emissary, there is no recourse. Your body will be disintegrated. We will add your soul to our collective. Resistance is futile, but feel free to do so if you wish.

In this first mission you will face a challenge commensurate to your capacity. Future missions will vary in difficulty between easy for your capacity to impossible for you to complete alone. You may purchase the right to enter a solo-mission as part of a team for one thousand EXP. The challenge rating and rewards will be upgraded accordingly. However, as you have no EXP, there will be no further explanation regarding this facet of your new existence at this time.

[--]

Time passed quickly as Scott read through several more information screens. With less than one minute left he reached the actual mission briefing. He could now see what it was that he had to do.

[Mission Briefing]

A new world has been selected on your behalf. This world will be titled, [Dead Men Walking]. Your task will be to locate and secure a place to survive the night. That is your only necessary goal, survival.

Difficulty: H-4

World Type: Survival Horror

Force Response Authorization: Solo Mission

Primary Goal: Survive Till Morning

Reward: 10 EXP

Suggestion: You may see people who need your help, or feel a desire to attack the walking corpses that you see for some reason. Feel free to ignore the people and those terribly violent primate urges. You surely will not need the additional EXP from undertaking side quests, or defeating enemies.

Just sit back and relax. Don't strain yourself there, champ. It'll all be over soon.

PS: If you are bitten or scratched, it will be fine to ignore it. Taking damage from a disease ridden walking corpse cannot possibly be bad for your health. French ladies swear by it, and they obviously know the hottest beauty trends.

[--]

Scott stared at the mission screen. What the hell...? He was not even certain what he was looking at, but it almost sounded like they were going to dump him right into the middle of a zombie apocalypse without any items or special abilities. What sort of game gave you nothing to start off with?

One thing annoyed him more than everything else, however. He could not trust what he saw on the screen. It was like they wanted him to die as quickly as possible. The fact that he would only receive ten EXP for surviving was the biggest indicator. If he did what the suggestion cited, he would be executed anyway due to not earning enough points to survive another day.

A brief wave of nausea overtook him. He nearly collapsed to the floor. What the hell did I get myself into? he asked the empty room. Everything had been so bizarre when that first blue screen popped into existence. Something about playing a game to decide the fate of humanity captured his imagination. He chose to accept. But still... What had he done?

Light appeared around the edges of the door where it met the wall. A voice called out. Door now opening. You have one minute to enter the game world, or you forfeit the challenge.

Naked, afraid, and entirely confused, Scott watched as the door faded from sight. There was a semi-transparent field of energy in its place. On the other side of that energy field there was a fairly normal looking highway. The smoking ruins of a gas station stood nearby, and several dozen people shambled mindlessly around the area.

Oh, fuck me sideways... he said. A bright red number [sixty] appeared in the semi-transparent field. It began to steadily tick down toward zero.

He panted heavily for a moment, and then licked his lips. Scott did not know what to expect when this all began, but just looking at what awaited him was enough to make him hesitate. He was not an action hero, no great warrior. He was a stock boy at a local grocery store. Hell, he was a townie who had not even gone to community college. There was nothing remarkable about him, and yet he still said yes when given a chance to do something significant. That chance led to this moment. He now had to run headlong into a zombie apocalypse, while butt naked, and somehow survive until morning.

Deep breaths were taken as he built up his courage. There were only eighteen seconds left when he slapped himself hard across the face twice in quick succession then unleashed a primal scream of determination.

He ran forward and into the world beyond like his ass was on fire. There was no other option save for forfeiting and being executed anyway. He ran into the danger zone for good reason as well. If he really ended up in the spot that the door showed him, there was no way to be stealthy. It was a wide open area filled with the walking dead.

Scott hit the ground running. He kept running as he made a bee line for the only thing he could see that might be able to help him, the open road ahead. The people shambling nearby turned toward him the moment he entered the area. Their hunger fueled moans of desperation echoed all around him. Dozens of hands rose up, each of them reaching toward him in eager anticipation of sinking their jagged teeth into his sweet meats. The undead began to stagger forward at a slow, but undeniable, pace.

Shit. Shit. Shit, exclaimed Scott as he ran as fast as he could. He was forced to weave between a few of the walking corpses. Simply coming within a few feet of them nearly made him gag. The stench that rose up from their rotting forms was enough to gag a maggot, much less a guy used to bathing twice a day.

Sad sounding moans echoed behind him as he kept going. He did not believe what the screen previously told him. He planned to avoid being scratched or bitten altogether if possible.

His feet already bled from a multitude of small cuts as he ran across rocks and pavement. He could not stop, could not allow himself to feel the pain of it.

Smoke from the burning gas station shifted with the wind. It billowed in his direction. Forced to run through it, Scott was blinded for a brief moment. He flailed his arms wildly in an effort to keep going. He choked on the smoke and fumes as he passed through miraculously unscathed.

Grasping fingers reached toward him from the smoke. Yellowed and blackened in their decay, those ruined fingers came within mere inches of touching his naked flesh as he hurled himself forward with desperate abandon.

Panting for clean air, his lungs burned while his mind screamed for an end to the madness. Mentally, he cursed himself for not having taken up track when he was in school. As things stood, he'd already developed a terrible ache in his side from how fast he forced his body to move.

A look of bewildered disbelief crossed his face as he ran past the last zombie in his path. The highway beyond seemed devoid of the shambling dead. A glance to either side proved that they were not far away, however. They came at him from the nearby fields on either side of the roadway.

There has to be a hundred of them, he said, as he was forced to stop and take a quick breath. He was out of shape, badly so. A quick look back told him that the gas station could not be more than a half mile away, but he was panting for air. It was possible that his adrenalin forced his body beyond his normal capacity, but in the end it did not matter. He was already exhausted.

God damn cake. Why are you so delicious? he groused, more as a means to bolster his confidence than as an actual desire to disparage the glory that was cake.

Despite the cramp in his side and the burning in his lungs, he moved on. He slowed to a steady trot instead of a desperate sprint. The zombies staggered behind him, their hands outstretched. Right now it was easy to outpace them, but it was a losing proposition and he knew it. Unless he could find some form of transportation, he would never escape them. At the very least he needed a pair of shoes to make it easier to run.

The horde grew larger as he trotted down the highway. Outside of the occasional scare caused by a zombie popping up from a ditch, nothing disturbed his jog. He outpaced those behind him a short distance, but never enough to stop and take a lengthy rest.

Bloody stains on the highway marked his passing as his lacerated feet continued their march forward. Unarmed and naked, he had no confidence to fight even one of the things chasing after him. There must have been well over one hundred of them staggering down the highway in his direction at the moment.

The miles passed. Sweat poured from his body, and his vision began to blur. The heat of the day was almost too much to bear. He had neither eaten, nor drank, in hours. He could do nothing but continue to run from the horde hankering for a hunk of his sweet ass.

Humanity, was a predatory species known for their endurance with persistence hunting techniques in the past. Now it was those same tactics that the zombies unwittingly employed to hunt the living. Much like the deer hunted till its heart burst in its chest, the prey of the undead was close to the end. Scott, an out-of-shape stock boy, would soon reach the point of collapse without water and rest. The hunters would then be upon him.

It was then, when all hope was lost, that he saw something in the distance. On the