Expat - Costa Rica

By J.S. Anon

Facing financial ruin, a Midwestern couple escape to Costa Rica to begin their retirement. In their tropical paradise, Lance and Cathy join other similar expatriates thriving in an affordable lifestyle that provides more pleasurable pursuits, personal growth, and camaraderie than they ever imagined. Living their second childhood full of kayaking, golfing, tennis, hiking, and jungle excursions reveal a whole new world of self-indulgence. Monthly celebrations provide a shocking, wild side to this senior community of refugees. Their experience exceeds their expectations and thrusts them into a world of affordable decadence.

Their idyllic lifestyle isn’t the picture perfect postcard that others see on the surface. Conflicts arise between the local Ticos and the affluent expatriates, who behave more like plantation owners than foreign guests. During the wet season, drug runners use the local fishing village as a route to push cocaine north. And, every spring, their Dolphins Resort hosts three weeks of Spring Break activities. The colorful interactions between retirees and the other occupants of Tambor Beach provide an eye opening revelations of the complete lifestyle of expatriates in Costa Rica.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781483577623

Book preview

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Chapter 1 - Dolphins Resort

His first visit to Tambor Beach was magical and just what Lance Parker needed to impress Cathy. Even though Lance was a prominent businessman in his small Midwestern town, he married a woman twelve years his junior and the prom queen of the local high school. Lance never felt worthy of such a beautiful wife and strove tirelessly to satisfy her every whim. Cathy had been hinting about getting away to some exotic tropical destination and not some high rise on Miami Beach. When Lance’s golf partner offered his place at the Dolphins Resort, Lance booked two weeks.

Lance never saw Cathy happier. She kept Lance hopping with moonlit walks on the beach, a round of golf, visits to the funky local restaurants to taste the local cuisine, deep sea fishing, snorkeling with exotic fish, a kayak trip up the river to see the howler monkeys and scarlet macaws, riding horses into the jungle and then galloping them home along the beach, and a naked midnight swim in Whale Bay. After an awkward first year adjusting to each other’s idiosyncrasies, the two weeks brought them closer and deeper in love than either expected. Less than a year later, Michael was born.

For years, the Parkers reminisced and talked fondly of their time at the Dolphins Resort. When the children were five and seven and then later as teenagers, the Parkers vacationed, to everyone’s delight, in Tambor Beach. When Lance’s golf partner needed some quick cash to shore up one of his business ventures, Lance was offered the opportunity to purchase the Dolphins Resort condo at a steep discount. His family unanimously insisted he buy a place in Tambor Beach.

While the Dolphins Resort satisfied the Parkers, it differed from the modern high rise resorts on more glamorous Costa Rica beaches. Tambor Beach was an isolated fishing village on the placid waters of Whale Bay at the tip of the Nicoya Peninsula. Whale Bay was extremely picturesque but so well protected that the water lapped at the shore. This lack of wave action didn’t replenish the shore with pristine white sand, so instead of a golden strand of soft warm sand to curl ones toes into, the beach was hard packed sand and grayish in color. The village was rustic even by Latin American standards and had few amenities.

In the late 70s, a Costa Rican developer saw this sleepy village with a few rundown accommodations and eating establishments catering to the locals and decided to build a destination resort because he could buy the property for next to nothing. First came the nine hole golf course encircling over 100 duplexes, each offering the same floor plan with two bedrooms and two baths in just over 1,100 square feet. While very functional with stucco over cinderblock walls and tiled roofs and floors, the duplexes captured the feel of the local architecture, were easy to maintain, and were quickly gobbled up by people looking for a tropical retreat. The success of the first phase allowed the community pool, restaurant, clubhouse, and tennis courts to be constructed. A decade later, phase two brought a new section of the quaint tiled roofed duplexes that didn’t front the golf course but were closer to the beach. By this time, the Dolphins resort had more competition from modern high end resorts and sales were slow.

By the next century, the few funky motels that existed in the 70s were now rebuilt to be exotic boutique hotels. One shiny, large, glamorous, and extremely expensive resort was added to the beach front to entice the high rollers. Not to be outdone, the Dolphins Resort responded by developing its ocean front property with modern three story condos to rival their neighbors’ offerings. Even with all these changes, the cookie cutter duplexes remained the heart and soul of the Dolphins Resort and became a thriving expat community.

Chapter 2 - Landscape Crew

Cathy emerged from the bathroom still drying her hair and quietly watched Lance sitting at the dining room table. The last decade was a struggle for the Parkers. Lance went from being a prominent businessman and community leader to being just an old retiree aimlessly living out his final years. Back home, Lance had run the local grocery store. Eventually, he was snatched away by the Piggly Wiggly chain and later became their director of marketing. He served over 20 years on the city council, most of them as mayor, so people always addressed him as mayor even after he left office. After suffering some career ending setbacks and financial hardships, Lance appeared defeated, depressed, and just a shell of his former self.

At the Dolphins Resort, Cathy quickly got involved with the traveling women’s tennis team, participated in weekly nature hikes, took local cuisine cooking classes, and played card games with the other ladies. Lance’s only outlet was golf. Watching Lance work on the paperwork spread out across the table gave Cathy a ray of hope that Lance would find purpose, escape his funk, and emerge as his old self.

Find anything interesting? inquired Cathy.

We’re paying a premium for our maintenance contract and only getting a fraction of the services outlined in the contract, Lance responded.

That’s no surprise, so what are you going to do about it? Cathy asked in a challenging tone.

Lance’s smile told her all she needed to know. He’d formulate a plan to correct this mess. As one of the earlier destination resorts, the developer quickly learned that the upkeep of the resort provided a steady source of income, but it wasn’t worth the hassle. Finding a trustworthy business to handle all the maintenance worked initially but in the end, generated more complaints and didn’t keep the resort up to the standards that would promote future phases of development. So, the Dolphins Resort turned over the maintenance contracts to the homeowners association. As complaints mounted, the old board quit in protest when the community demanded a higher level of service but wanted lower fees. To learn more about the homeowners association, the Parkers attended the contentious meetings. When Lance asked a couple questions, he compared the situation to something that happened when he was mayor and was immediately recruited to serve on the new board.

Lance’s was now in his element. As the consummate politician, he informed those demanding lower fees, We’re no longer blindly paying for the contract when so many services are being left undone. Those, who wanted a higher level of service, heard Shoddy workmanship will not be tolerated, and no one gets paid until the job is done correctly. Everyone believed Lance agreed with them, but now he must show results.

He knew he couldn’t solve every problem, but to earn the respect and admiration of his new constituents, he had to make progress in the area of their greatest concern. Golfers rarely complained about the conditions of the course, so Lance decided not to waste any energy fixing something that wasn’t broke. He also wouldn’t have to deal with claims of favoritism for focusing on his area of interest. The building crew lacked the expertise in so many areas, but they plodded along completing most of the scheduled maintenance items. Requirements for exterior painting and road resurfacing usually finished in a flurry before the end of the year, but mechanical breakdowns of air conditioning, kitchen appliances, and even roof repairs slowed the crew down and usually required outside help to get the job done right. However, it was the gardening crew that drew the most complaints. With the notable exception of the golf course, the gardening crew maintained everything else, which included all the front and backyards, public areas, and ornamental plantings around the public buildings and along the roadways.

Nepotism was the one significant problem facing each crew. Working for the resort meant year round employment at wages better than could be found with local employers. The crew chief usually chose his team from his extended family and not by work experience or work ethic. Hence, building maintenance had no one with the capability to fix mechanical and electrical devices. Lucky, they had one plumber in the mix. The lowest paid workers labored on the gardening crew. These grunts cut lawns, trimmed landscaping, and replanted areas frequented by guests. They worked in the heat of the day and at tortoise speeds. Something needed to change.

Lance’s strategy was simple. Inform the crew chief of building maintenance that the board would hire a person with electrical and mechanical experience. The crew chief would then have to let one of his crew go. That wouldn’t be pleasant, but years of complaints hadn’t yielded a successful remedy, so it wouldn’t be surprise to the crew chief.

Last year, hundreds of complaints were registered about the gardening crew. Unexpectedly, the number one complaint was lurking near windows and frightening occupants. Trimming vegetation either too much or too little was the second most prominent complaint. Not allowing residents to use their backyard because the gardening crew took too long in their duties came in third. Stealing fruit rounded out the complaints, but with such an abundance of edible plants in the resort, no one lacked for fresh fruit and vegetables.

The fancy Barcelo Hotel down the beach took a different approach for landscape maintenance. Rather than keep a regular crew, Barcelo contracted for specific services from a company that provides gardening for businesses. Every detail was regimented with specific times for all tasks, instructions for non-interaction with guests, and uniforms for all employees on the property. Some Dolphin Resort owners expressed a preference for this new more expensive approach. Lance was ready to propose implementing a strategy to phase in these outside contractors, but this could cause problems with the current crew.

Lance knew change is difficult. Some residents have developed friendships with the Calderon clan and felt they were being used as a scapegoat for the Dolphin Resort’s problems. Other owners found these workers to be too quiet, withdrawn, and even surly, which seemed to lead to suspicions of nefarious activities. If something was lost, suspicion first went to the gardening crew that was always close by. At least 80% of the gardening crew’s time was spent maintaining the areas around the residences. The public areas were sometimes neglected with overgrown walking paths, low hanging trees over the roadways, and walls of vegetation blocking views for people moving around the resort. Lance’s plan was to contract with an outside firm to handle the clean-up of the public areas and reduce the gardening crew by 20%. If the board accepted his plan, Lance hoped that Jose Calderon would finally get the message and motivate his crew to work harder or be out of a job.

Chapter 3 – Voyeur

Unbeknownst to Lance was Cathy’s interaction with the gardening crew posed some difficulty. Since becoming the head cheerleader of her high school, Cathy knew her looks affected men in strange ways. When Lance first hired her to work in his store, she’d occasionally catch him watching her, but every time he spoke to her, he would look over her shoulder and not look into her eyes. Cathy knew she was beautiful, loved the adoration, and used her beauty to get what she wanted. Cathy’s problem at the resort was Pablo. At 14 years of age, Pablo began working with his uncle’s crew and looking into the windows. One day emerging from the shower with only her hair wrapped in a towel out of the corner of her eye, Cathy caught Pablo peeking through the panes. Cathy wasn’t frightened but rather flattered that such a young boy would find her body attractive. She was the youngest full time resident and had visited the plastic surgeon on a few occasions to preserve her youthful look. Older gentlemen leered, but for the young Pablo to show interest meant that she still had what it takes.

It was a spontaneous decision, and Cathy doubled back to the bathroom, grabbed a robe, but instead of returning to the bedroom, she stepped outside and asked Pablo to come in the house. Caught with no options, Pablo complied. Cathy asked Pablo to retrieve something from the top of the cabinets and change a light bulb of a ceiling light. All the time, Cathy watched with a loosely tied robe that exposed more than it should. Cathy then poured Pablo some lemonade and thanked him profusely.

If this was the only incident, it would have been forgotten. However, if Pablo was working around the house and Lance was golfing, Cathy didn’t hesitate to proudly prance half naked to see if she could catch him watching. It was nearly a month later when Cathy caught Pablo and invited him in for some menial tasks and torment. For the third and last incident, Cathy heard noises outside her window. Curious more than anything, Cathy stepped outside and around the corner. She found Pablo by her bedroom window, mostly obscured by a large hibiscus, but vigorously masturbating. As he came all over her wall, Pablo glanced over his shoulder only to see Cathy with her hand over her mouth trying to suppress a laugh. In a pure panic, Pablo bolted from behind the plant as if were running the 100 yard dash all the while trying to shove his manhood back in his pants. That’s the last time Cathy saw Pablo.

Since the gardening crew came in frequent contact with the residents, they also were under the watchful eye of many residents, who developed a plantation owner’s attitude towards the help. While performing their duties, the crew was often asked to assist with other tasks the homeowner wanted done. The homeowners expected and the crew was instructed to provide assistance when requested. These interruptions cut into the time allotted to tend to the landscaping needs. Cathy felt the complaints about the gardening crew were unwarranted and unrealistic, if not slightly racist.

After Cathy prepared lunch, Lance left his papers on the table and joined Cathy on the lanai. Well, have you assembled your strategy for doing more with less for the homeowners association? asked Cathy. Lance welcomed the opportunity to use Cathy as sounding board and shared his plan. When he finished, Lance looked at Cathy expectantly. That just might work, Cathy encouraged. But, as you know, change makes some people uncomfortable and brings a different set of concerns, she gently warned. Lance nodded and returned to the dining room table. He continued to pore over the paperwork to ensure he wasn’t missing any significant details and to solidify his strategy.

Chapter 4 - Foreclosure

As Lance reviewed contracts and analyzed spreadsheets, Cathy picked up a book and reclined on the couch. She intended to read but was in a reflective mood. Her mind wandered to her high school glory days. As the head cheerleader dating the all-league quarterback, Cathy seemed to have a glorious future in front of her. When no scholarship offers came for a talented but undersized quarterback, six foot and 175 pounds, both enrolled in the local community college. Two winning seasons later, there was rekindled hope for collegiate glory, but alas no major college came courting. Her boyfriend became sullen and inattentive, but Cathy clung to the hope of their future. At the final blowout party before venturing off to a four year institution, Cathy lost track of her beau only to find him banging the one skanky cheerleader, who already slept with half the football team. Crestfallen Cathy returned home and ended her academic pursuits. With her dreams crushed, Cathy took a job at Lance’s grocery store.

During his senior year in college, Lance’s father suffered a massive heart attack that left him an invalid. Taking care of the store and tending to Dad’s medical needs left Lance’s mom exhausted. Lance had dreamt of moving to the big city and making his mark. Instead he returned to rescue the family business. At first Lance took up the slack by replacing his father in the butcher shop. Mom tried to keep up with the inventory, keeping the shelves stocked, and dealing with the books, but it was too much. Eventually, Lance hired another butcher and started managing the business. He immediately realized that the grocery store wasn’t stocking enough items used every week by customers to meet their needs and his customers were traveling to other stores in nearby towns. After Lance secured financing to purchase the abandoned furniture store across the street, he opened a full service, modern grocery store to serve the community. Only in his mid-20s, Lance’s stature in the community made mercurial rise for his business acumen and his store became the place to shop, bump into your neighbors, and catch up on all the gossip and events in town.

Lance was voted on to the city council at the age of 26 and became a fixture in community activities. One reason for his high profile was the promotions held at the store. Lance used the parking lot for community events like watermelon eating contests, skateboard races, and the ever popular Christmas balloon drop. Two weeks before Christmas, 1,000 balloons would be dumped from a tall crane on to the hundreds of people waiting in the parking lot. Inside each balloon was a coupon for something in the store or cash, with five balloons containing $100. For Thanksgiving, each customer got to spin the wheel of fortune and would win one item for their Thanksgiving dinner. Each month a different promotion would be used to lure customers into his store, and Lance became one of the most affluent members on the community.

Within the first week of her employment, Cathy knew Lance was interested, but her boss seemed too uncomfortable to carry on a conversation with her. When Cathy would attempt to flirt with him, Lance’s face would turn red and he’d walk away. Cathy expected men to trip over themselves to get her attention, so she was quite perplexed with Lance’s very formal interactions with no effort to make a move on her. Cathy still remembers how out of pure frustration she tried to challenge Lance into being friendly.

As she was leaving work after a couple months on the job, Lance uttered his perfunctory good bye. Cathy turned and challenged, Why are you uncomfortable talking to me?

I’m comfortable talking with you, demanded Lance.

You’re so businesslike, claimed Cathy. Can’t you have friendly conversation?

I’m your boss…, Lance stated.

So you’re my boss and can’t be my friend, interrupted Cathy.

No, I, I, I…, stuttered Lance.

You know I don’t care if you’re gay, said Cathy in a compassionate manner.

I’m not gay! insisted Lance.

Well, you’re the only guy working in this store who hasn’t asked me out, so I assumed you weren’t into girls. Cathy responded playfully.

I like girls, Lance strongly affirmed.

But, just not me, teased Cathy.

I like you, Lance announced.

Then when are we going out to dinner? Cathy inquired.

Tomorrow? a stunned Lance whispered.

Pick me up at seven, Cathy said over her shoulder as she strode out the door.

It was too easy for Cathy to play Lance, but she enjoyed his befuddled look. She didn’t make it any easier the next night when she shimmied into a sexy yet elegant dress that accented all her attributes. Lance took her to a fancy steakhouse in the next town but behaved like a perfect gentleman even though he couldn’t take his eyes off her. When Lance leaned in for the good night kiss, Cathy planted a gentle but passionate kiss that would keep him coming back. As she opened her front door, she knew that Lance was hooked.

In a year, Lance and Cathy married and began looking at homes. Of course, Cathy liked the home in the new Ridgetop development. All these homes were spacious with views, but the one Cathy liked had the spectacular view all the way down the valley with the twinkling lights of the state capitol 45 miles away. Lance didn’t hesitate and bought Cathy her dream house. This behavior characterized their relationship. If Cathy wanted anything, a convertible, swimming pool, or new furniture Lance got it for her. After being raised in blue collar middle class homes, the Parkers reveled in this new life of abundance.

Yet, it wasn’t the new affluent lifestyle that attracted her to Lance. He was thoughtful, kind, intelligent, and always a gentleman. Qualities Cathy hadn’t considered as too important before she met Lance. He was revered in the community as the consummate businessman and a community leader, evidenced by being elected mayor three times. Cathy admired and loved her adoring husband, and Lance always considered himself the luckiest man alive to have Cathy as his wife.

In their first ten years, Cathy delivered two sons while the Parker Market flourished. Then the Piggly Wiggly years hit. This small grocery chain established its markets in small communities with the potential for growth. Five miles away in the next town which was located next to the state highway, Piggly Wiggly opened a store. Immediately Parker’s sales started to droop, and by the end of the first year, Parker Market had difficulty staying in the black. Lance amped up the promotions and held twice as many events to keep his customers shopping in town. By the third year, Lance had drained his bank account in order to keep the store open. Unbeknownst to Lance, Piggly Wiggly had also failed to meet any of its sale targets. Piggly Wiggly’s market analysis indicated only one full service grocery store could thrive in this area and Parker Grocery would fold in two years. At the end of three years, the upper management of the Piggly Wiggly chain had a frank discussion with Lance, sharing its research, and made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Parker Grocery was on the verge of closing its doors, and Lance needed a steady income stream or he had to declare bankruptcy.

Given a healthy promotions budget, Lance took over the management of the neighboring Piggly Wiggly store. The grocery chain wanted to use his store as an example of how special events and sales promotions could enhance sales. Without any competition, Lance made his new store the most profitable Piggly Wiggly in the state and other store managers were sent to observe Lance perform his magic. While his boys were still attending the local schools, Lance stayed with his local store even though he was offered the regional director of marketing position. The Parker’s financial situation stabilized, and the rental income from the old grocery store finally covered the expenses.

At the time the Parkers were barely keeping ahead of the creditors, but when college tuition, plastic surgery, and new car for Cathy were added to the list, Lance took the regional director of marketing position. Travel was the trade-off for the increased compensation, and Lance welcomed the new challenges. Plus Piggly Wiggly threw in a performance bonus based on the increased sales in his region. Now they were flush and enjoying an affluent life free of financial worries. Sales in Lance’s region improved dramatically, and he was offered the position of national marketing director. However, Lance’s old school promotions and dependence on newspaper ads could only increase sales so much. When the economy slowed down, store managers started to question if Lance was the right person to head up marketing in this high tech information age. So, after eight years of landing his dream job, Lance was unceremoniously shown the door.

Devastated and shell shocked, Lance discovered in a weak economy no business was interested in hiring a high priced sales manager in his mid-50s. Young bucks with their MBAs could do the job for a fraction of the price and had the potential to stick with the company for many years. He took on a variety of short term contracts helping businesses going through transitions but nothing permanent. Finally he landed a job at less than half his former salary. Lance was helping a small cannery place its products in grocery stores. Blue Ribbon chilies, baked beans, and a variety of other canned products were considered some of the best canned products in the Midwest, but they cost more than the competition. Convincing grocery store managers to run expensive canned food took a good deal of persuasion. Lance’s experience proved invaluable in increasing sales of Blue Ribbon. Even though Lance substantially increased the number of stores carrying Blue Ribbon, sales numbers barely covered all the costs associated with the increased exposure. The conglomerate owning Blue Ribbon spun it off, and the current management team stepped up to purchase the company. Without the conglomerate’s backing, commercial funding to make necessary improvements, increase advertising, and expand territory was impossible to secure. Before Blue Ribbon shuttered its doors, Lance was unemployed and a couple years went by without any job.

The roof on the old market had deteriorated to the point that the back section collapsed. The insurance company refused payment for the repair claiming it was a maintenance issue. The Parker home and old grocery store had been refinanced so many times, that the loans exceeded their current value. When Lance took the marketing director job, his travel forced him to give up his position as mayor, but he was still considered the town’s leading citizen. The gossip grew, and the Parkers couldn’t face their fall from grace. Before the foreclosure notices hit the local newspaper, Lance and Cathy pulled up stakes and moved to their condo in Costa Rica.

Lance kept his family in the dark about their finances. Whether the Parkers were flush or scraping by, Cathy and boys always lived a life of comfortable affluence. Both boys moved to large cities to pursue their careers and never experienced any of their father’s financial struggles. After being let go by Piggly Wiggly, Cathy watched Lance struggle landing a job, heard anguished conversations with bankers, and accepted for the first time not getting everything she wanted. When Lance had the tearful discussion with Cathy about their dire finances, she asked, Do we still own our condo in Tambor Beach? Even though the maintenance fees were minimal, Lance had tried unsuccessfully to unload it just to acquire some much needed cash. He indicated they still owned their duplex, and Cathy stated, Well, if it’s cheaper to live in Costa Rica, let’s move to our new home. Frantically, the Parkers sold everything they could, packed their SUV to the gills, and took off to the Dolphins Resort. The local newspaper carried the foreclosure notice on their home and commercial building less than a month after their departure.

Chapter 5 - Arrival

When the Parkers took up permanent residency, the Dolphins Resort had aged gracefully with lush vegetation and well preserved accommodations. The 200 duplexes provided the core of the development and housed the have nots. The beach front condos, which sold for four times what the older duplexes did, and the villas, the single family homes lining the far reaches of the golf course, housed the haves. Due to its age and simple duplex design, the Dolphins Resort was affordable, which resulted in nearly a third of the duplexes being owned by Costa Ricans, called Ticos. Most Ticos rented their places to Canadians, Americans and Europeans. Renting a duplex for just one month paid the annual maintenance fee and approximately four months covered the mortgage. On paper, it was a good investment, but Costa Rica has two seasons, wet and dry. Rain is measured in meters during the wet season and in the dry season, November through May, the Dolphins Resort reaches capacity with January through March commanding the highest rental fees. However, wealthier Ticos were also retiring at the Dolphins Resort and now comprised 20% of the permanent residents. At first, the expats, residents from foreign countries, had some difficulty adjusting to Ticos, who weren’t the hired help, but the two cultures assimilated into each other’s lives. At the events held for owners, Ticos still loosely hung together, but so did the Canadians, Germans, and Americans. Each group had their own shared experiences that bound them together, but that didn’t limit interaction and friendships with others. Plus, they all possessed a common appreciation that they all enjoyed this wonderful opportunity to live out their lives in the one spot that could be considered heaven on earth.

Cathy emerged from their SUV in a sweat stained blouse and shorts looking like she just made the trip on a horse rather than in the comfort of her car. The trip down the Pan American Highway was pleasant, scenic, and uneventful until the air conditioning quit. Both she and Lance followed all the safety recommendations for traveling in Central America and gave a sigh of relief when they reached their destination without being robbed or abducted. It was almost a decade since they last stayed in their Costa Rican home and it still looked the same. Without unloading the car, the Parkers unlocked the front door and collapsed on the bed for a much needed nap.

Finally recovered, the Parkers began to unload their belongings and were met