Monster Maelstrom: A Flash Fiction Halloween Anthology

By George Donnelly

24 Extremely Short Halloween Stories for your Briefest Moments

From a Hillary Clinton stripper to mythical beast-women in the harsh Scandinavian tundra and from an unusual band of steadfast teddy bears to the last man in zombie-occupied Chicago, fill your briefest moments with pulse-pounding frights and off-beat chuckles with this collection of 24 flash fiction stories.

Commuting to work? Grabbing a quick coffee? Each story tells a complete tale in but a few short minutes with the added promise of a lifelong introduction to new indie writers.

You never know, you might just find your next favorite author.

Monster Maelstrom, the second anthology in the Flash Flood series, is a hand-picked selection of master works in humor, horror and fantasy themed for Halloween and guaranteed to keep you engaged.

Sign up now to get free copies of book 1, Bite-Sized Stories, and future flash fiction anthologies themed for Christmas, Valentine's Day, May the 4th and Independence Day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: George Donnelly
• Release date: Oct 17, 2016
• ISBN: 9781941939116

George Donnelly

Growing up in Pennsylvania in the 1980s, I was given the apple-pie routine. America is great. America is free. The land of opportunity. All is well or soon will be. But then I went to high school in inner-city Philadelphia and college on the south side of Chicago. Everything wasn’t alright. America is not free. I’ve been a rebel my whole life. I became a troublemaker when Catholic grade school bored me. I published a broadsheet attack on administrative oppression at my Philadelphia public high school. I left a Chicago loop 67th floor bank job to drive a cab. I left the United States, too. When I came back, I was arrested, beaten and thrown into federal prison by US Marshals for exposing their abuse. Then I fomented an international uproar over airport grope-downs. I was even accused of being a terrorist on network TV.

Book preview

Part I

Humor

1

All That Glitters Isn’t Gold

N. D. Iverson - Humor

N o touching the girls , the beefy security guard said after placing a stern hand on Gerald’s shoulder.

Gerald threw his offending hands in the air. We’re all good here, man. Right, Crissy? He winked at the stripper in his lap. She gave Gerald a skeptical glance before turning to Big Bob and nodding.

Big Bob stabbed a finger right into Gerald’s face. "If I have to come back here, man. You ain’t gonna like what happens next."

The music was so loud that a man couldn’t hear his cell phone go off (which, of course, was the point) but somehow a scream reached their little pow-wow.

Big Bob’s back went straight.

You should probably attend to that, yeah? Gerald said hoping the bouncer would let him get back to his lap dance.

Big Bob took off to the VIP area to investigate and Crissy resumed her wriggling in his lap. He was enjoying the friction until Big Bob came dashing back through the VIP velvet curtain with a stripper on his back. Oh sure, they can touch the girls, Gerald thought. Crissy bolted from his lap almost taking out his VIP (very important penis).

As Crissy fled, Gerald yelled after her, Hey, that wasn’t twenty minutes! He would’ve complained, but the DJ was also the manager, and if his playlist was any indication, he would be an ear-bleedingly terrible manager.

Gerald focused his attention on the spectacle that was causing a bunch of laps to go un-danced. Big Bob was not giving the glitter coated stripper a piggy-back, as Gerald once thought. No, Big Bob was trying to dislodge the stripper like his clothes were on fire and her an oil stained rag. In his attempt to get the feral stripper off of him, Big Bob stumbled into a set of table and chairs before he fell to the ground, forcing the occupants to flee and leave behind their plate of buffet chicken wings.

Probably a smart choice, Gerald thought. Last time he ate the food here, he ended up with DEFCON-Chipotle level of diarrhea.

Big Bob rolled over so that he was on top of the stripper, then violently ripped away from her by rolling to the left. She was still moving, but didn’t bother to get up as she was busy noshing on something. Big Bob shot to his feet despite his larger stature. His hand flew to the back of his neck and now he screamed. Sensing something gross, Gerald moved in closer for a peek. There was a chunk of Big Bob’s neck fat missing and Gerald had a sick hunch that the stripper was gnawing on a piece of fresh Big Bob Jerky.

The bitch bit me! Big Bob bellowed, confirming Gerald’s suspicion.

As if offended by his language, the stripper rolled herself over and hobbled to a standing position. Everyone stood still waiting to see what she would do next. Her eyes darted around like a kid at Disneyland, unsure of where to start first. Her mouth was a gash of red from Big Bob’s blood and her skin had taken on a waxy hue under the top layer of glitter. She looked like she was sick—really sick—not just the herpes acting up again type of sick.

Another stripper dressed like a sexy Hillary Clinton slowly walked up to the wild-eyed, bloody stripper. Angel, you okay? she asked timidly.

Angel whirled around and launched herself at the sexy Hillary Clinton stripper who screamed like a banshee. That was when everyone decided it was time to leave, as this party foul was too much even for the sad, lonely men willing to throw their paychecks at naked girls for a moment of their time. Hey, I’m one of those guys, Gerald thought before he too started towards the exit. Now that people were leaving, the front door was wide open letting the light in like a beacon.

Gerald and the others spilled out into the parking lot, momentarily disoriented by the blinding sunlight. Gerald was forced to dive onto the pavement as some asshole tried to take him out with their Corolla in attempt to get out of the parking lot. All was calm when Gerald had entered the Tasty Biscuit (the name was rather misleading, giving pet owners a startle when they would wander in looking for dog food). But now it was chaos. Car horns were blaring, sirens were going off, helicopters were zooming overhead, and most alarmingly, there were a pair of girl scouts trying to sell their cookies in the strip club parking lot.

Get out of here! Gerald yelled at the two kids.

They screamed in unison when they saw Angel go after one of the regulars after following the crowd out into the parking lot. Gerald let out a scream too. Angel was not near as hot as she had seemed inside the dark club. Even if she wasn’t currently covered in blood and gristle—and glitter. Gerald couldn’t believe the difference sunlight made. He wouldn’t be buying anymore dances from her.

The two girl scouts had abandoned their table of cookies and were already running down the sidewalk. Gerald ran to his F-150 and jumped into the front seat. The truck started and as he was about to back up, something slammed into the passenger side door. He may have peed himself a little, but he would never admit it. The door opened and Crissy threw herself into the cab, slamming the door behind her.

Holy shit! she yelled far too loud for such a tiny space.

Gerald looked at her. At least she was still hot out in the daylight. You okay?

She sucked in her lips and nodded. We need to get out of here!

On a normal day, leaving the club with a stripper would’ve been legendary, but not when they were fleeing from the horror scene inside. Gerald reversed just as Angel threw herself on the hood of the truck, coating the windshield in spit and blood. Crissy screamed and in a state of panic, Gerald floored the gas pedal sending Angel rolling to the pavement as they reversed going twenty miles an hour.

Gerald turned on the wipers, smearing the bodily fluids into thin streaks. Neither he nor Crissy commented on it. Angel had gotten herself up, paying no mind to the bone now jutting out of her forearm.

Oh God, Crissy said into the back of her hand.

Gerald put the truck in drive and joined the rest of the survivors trying to make it into the steady flow of traffic. They drove for what seemed like hours, but had only been a few minutes.

What are we going to do?

I have no idea. All I know is— Gerald did a completely inappropriate air pump with his fist— I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!

---

N. D. Iverson is a young-ish author trying to find her spot in the world. She'd love to write full-time, but until she starts to write more, she has to work terrible hours at a place where if she died right now, it would take her a full week to realize she was in hell and not at work anymore. Find her books and get on her mailing list at ndiverson.weebly.com.

2

Oh, My Darling

Jaleta Clegg - Humor

Islammed my pick into the wall of the cavern, the one hidden in a crack on a forsaken mountainside deep in the craggy Blues. Old Codger Martin told me about the gold there, man to man over whiskey in the back of an old saloon south of Frisco. I hopped a mule and rode on up to check it out and stake a claim. So far, all I'd found was quartz. I hit the wall again. Rocks tumbled to the ground. A gleam of yellowish metal caught my eye. Maybe Codger wasn't a two-headed lying snake. I crouched, my fingers reaching.

The cavern shook. Cave-in? It shook again. Dust shifted down onto my head. The shaking came once more, like a giant stomping his way up from the depths to confront me. Rocks creaked. I thought about running for the exit, but that promising rock had my attention. I palmed it to hide the metallic luster as the steps approached.

What you doing, hu-man?

A thunderous voice snapped over me, shaking more dust loose. It was deeper than the pits of hell itself. Might have come from there, too. Who knew where the other end of this cavern led? I rose to my feet and faced the denizen of the depths.

The creature was huge, covered in green scaly skin with giant tusks poking from his fat lips and enormous claws on his hands. He sported a twisted crown of dead rats.

Just a cave troll, nothing too spectacular, not

Reviews for Monster Maelstrom

[yen javellana · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed reading this book. The horror , scares and humorous twists were on par with the great stories . If you like reading reading funny and scary , along with horror , this is definitely the book to treat yourself to !!!