Making It Home

By Mac Dyson

On Earth, a teenager struggles to come to terms with a whole new family experience. While, on the dying desert planet URF*, a banished alien child crash-lands on a beach where a mum with memory issues has gone walk about.
Fortunately, with the help of some odd new friends, a lot of peculiar imagination, and a weird bunch of bits-n-bobs-beings, they all are soon “Making It Home”.
This madcap txt-comic adventure is made up of an inverted kaleidoscope of cartoons, books, music, film, myth, and magic, all muddled together through the imagination of 15 year old Sam’, who is trying to get used to having two dads.

*URF: an ancient brown world, where everything and everyone is upside down, inside out, never quite one thing or another, but usually a strange unpredictable amalgam of both. A feature that is celebrated in its “Topsy Turvy” carnival parade that snakes its way each year through the capital city - a parade that is both dilemma and salvation to our heroes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mac Dyson
• Release date: Sep 3, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370845972

Mac Dyson

Mac Dyson likes playing with words and sounds. He writes books and makes music. He is a Kiwi by birth and nature, but after a sojourn in the UK as a musician, he now lives in the bustling metropolis of Sydney. His life has included stints as a TV Director, Pre-school Educator, Cleaner, University Lecturer but his favourite place to work is the theatre. He is particularly fond of Shakespeare - his favourite play being "Much Ado About Nothing". As a singer he loves John Dowland and Henry Purcell songs, and the works of Joni Mitchell, Prince, David Bowie, Bjork, and Aphex Twin. His life has been quite an adventure - perhaps why his books are on the weird side - but he has enjoyed a lot of it very much. Due mainly to a wonderful selection of 'human beans' that have journeyed with him. Thanks yous fellas. Kia kaha, Mac D x

Book preview

MAKING IT HOME

by Mac Dyson

Copyright 2016 Mac Dyson

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The Who's Who: Characters

On Earth:

Sam: 16, the author of this story

David aka Da': One half of the double Dads (The Da’Ad’s)

Adrian aka Ad': The other half of the parental pair

On Cloud 9:

Merry - Mericles: 3037 years old (12 in earth years), our outa space hero

Zeus: Merry’s not so heavenly father

Chubbs: Merry’s Cherub minder

Hera: Merry’s glamorous stepmother

On Urf:

Medusa, Diana, & Aphrodite: Merry’s ex-Supermodel Goddess Mothers

aka The ModMums, Cloud 9 refugees

Jake: 16, orphan, a would-be film maker

Smuts: 8, orphan, a mechanical genius

Kiri: 14, a hopeful musician

’BotCop 16 - BC16 aka Chad: 17, A biomechanical policeman, & Jake’s friend

Tiresias: - an ancient blind prophet of muddled gender, & poor dress sense

Penelope Du Lally aka Penny-Pink, Penny-Black, & Penny-Blu: The Urf kids’ school teacher, part Urf part Cloud 9, who can change her style and personality at will

With:

Kiri’s Mum, Dad, and Baby Brother

The BeachBum Gods/Goddesses aka The Bees/BeeGees

The ’BotCops including ’BotSergeant 49 aka BS49

Orpheus the kitten, Edith the Emu, Tolkien the Dragon,

and a selection of other clockwork livestock

The What’s What: Chapters

Chapter 1: On Earth - Sam begins a story for his absent little brother

Chapter 2: The secret of the Specs; The Planet Urf

Chapter 3: Mary on the Cloud Ninety Nine; with a Diversion

Chapter 4: Mary is banished by his Father

Chapter 5: On Urf - meet The ModMums

Chapter 6: In Space – Merry (Mary) is kicked out; Chubbs tags along

Chapter 7: On Urf - Jake and BC 16 (‘If he only had a heart’) enjoy the delights of Coogee Beach

Chapter 8: In Space - Merry plays Space Debris Pinball

Chapter 9: On Urf - Smuts fixes Jake’s camera; he begins a doco’ on Old Sydney

Chapter 10: Avoiding Collision with Urf Merry is well armed

Chapter 11: Jake and Smuts bear the brunt of Merry’s manoeuvres and again

Chapter 12: Merry makes a big splash at Coogee; ages fast

Chapter 13: Jake and Smuts visit Kiri in Technicolour Suburbia; a missing mum; and all that jazz

Chapter 14: Sam gets the squirms when Merry chooses a wardrobe

Chapter 15: Looking for Kiri’s Mum hits a barbed-wire barrier

Chapter 16: Merry attracts the attentions of the ’Botcops; gains a pet

Chapter 17: Penelope-Pink steers the kids into the forbidden city

Chapter 18: Merry escapes to a hot dance groove; Chubbs watches some videos;

with a ... Meanwhile - Zeus spies on them all

Chapter 19: The Kids get up close & personal with BC16’s ’BotCop mates.

Chapter 20: A new norm; On the run The Kids and Merry team up

Chapter 21: A balancing act; Merry to the rescue

Chapter 22: Retro research; Chubbs, Merry, & Bruce Willis to the rescue

Chapter 23: A load of rubbish; let’s go clubbing!

Chapter 24: A blind Prophet; dresses & dressups

Chapter 25: The shape of a Snakes Tale over dinner

Chapter 26: Tunnelling beneath the city; an unfortunate meeting

Chapter 27: Tirry & Smuts get sidetracked; a double reunion at Coogee

Chapter 28: Kiri has a lightbulb moment; Penny-B plans a Trojan Horse

Chapter 29: Wail Music with Haka; Jake tries tracking a missing Merry

Chapter 30: Merry’s SpaceBall gets a make-over; his emotions make waves

Chapter 31: Drowning in The Tunnels of Terror

Chapter 32: On Earth Sam cries a lot; On Urf there’s a lucky escape

Chapter 33: A portable party; plus transformations

Chapter 34: A ‘Topsy Turvy’ music video - You all sing along now!

Chapter 35: Making It Home is a mixed blessing for Kiri and her Mum

Chapter 36: Tension and foreboding; the SpaceBall gives up a tiny secret

Chapter 37: BC16 gets re-armed thanks to Merry & some Angel poo

Chapter 38: Just as it all seems to be going right it begins to go all wrong

Chapter 39: Under attack; no escape

Chapter 40: Counterattack with singing; a paranoid monologue

Chapter 41: Merry's thinking gets heated; the BeeGees darn a hole

Chapter 42: From a standing start Merry steps into the spot light(ning)

Chapter 43: A duel in the sky; a mother’s advice; Merry gives up utterly

Chapter 44: A second Creation; Zeus unmasked

Chapter 45: Miracles - the dumb speak and a popular tune unlocks a home

Chapter 46:

On Earth - Sam and his two dads can begin Making It Home together permanently

On Urf - Merry’s new family celebrate Making It Home for him

with a barbie together in front of the Telly

Chapter 47: A Postlude

Author’s Note: Making it up as I go!

Chapter 1: On Earth - Sam begins a story for his absent little brother

I wear glasses now. Spectacles. Spec’s eh. And. As you know Bro’. Me being me means I’m envious of everyone that doesn’t. But also. Me being me I have to be different. So. No contact lenses allowed.

Instead. I go searching the second-hand shops for interesting and unusual frames. Mum used to nag me about it. You know. Belonging. Fitting in eh. That being ‘normal’ crap. But. Da’ - David - just shrugs. Coughs up for lenses to be fitted to yet another pair.

And. That’s how it happened. Not Da’ coughing, y’ mental! That’s a figure of speech. A turn of phrase. What I am saying is - that’s how I got these ...? Well. I suppose they are glasses. At least to look at. If not exactly to look through.

I’m not mega-mad about living in Australia. I miss Aotearoa-NZ. The down-to-earth connected vibe. But. So far I like living in Coogee. There’s the sea. Always warm enough when you fancy a swim. Cliff tops to walk when you want to think. People to watch in the street cafés when you’re bored with thinking. Yeah. I’m allowed. Long as I stick to Latté. No more than one a day. Fair enough. I’m hyper enough.

Sydney is huge compared to Oamaru. Mad various as well. So lots of places to explore. Like Newtown. Coogee’s perfect opposite. Dustbowl city bro! Just like the wild west. Well. It would be without the cars. And. Add a gunslinger or two. Scowling at each other. There’s stumpy little two story shops with tin verandas winding for miles. Got stuck there once one evening after closing. Waiting for a bus. Kept expecting one of those big desert tumbleweeds to cartwheel by.

Anyway. There’s always interesting new shops of old stuff to investigate. They never last more than a couple of months. The one I got these from was gone the next day. I read. A lot. So I guess I should have read the signs in that! Perfect mystery story material.

As was the little old lady behind the counter. Far too nice. Funny - ha ha. Not funny peculiar. Well not very. Looking closely at her. She had this quality that old people don’t usually have. You saw her. Really paid attention The wrinkles couldn’t hide it. When she was young she must have been a really super super-model. If they had them back last century. Really short ones I mean.

She got the whole ‘different’ thing straight off. Though. She used the word singular instead.

You appear to be a most singular young man, young man. _

Bustled me off through a forest of old evening clothes. Spangly rainbow frocks. Shiny liquorice suits. To a ramshackle dresser covered in a muddle of musty tartan kilts. She wrestled with the top drawer without much success. When I offered to help she just stood for a moment. Staring at me. Before cackling and cackling like a demented hen.

She got her breath back. Wiped her eyes. "Didn’t think the magic word.

I know this one. Well trained. Please?

Something very like that. She winked at me. Rose on her toes. Very elegantly like a music-box ballerina. Muttered something to herself. Turned round three times. I should have turned and run. But. I stayed. And when she stopped the drawer slid out silk smooth. Like on teflon ball bearings.

Inside. Sitting on the top of some boned corsets. Were these. Or should that be ‘was’? After all. There was only one pair. Whatever. They were perfect. I’d been looking for some 1960s TV screen shaped ones for ages. You know. Thick black nerd-science frames. Big intellect ‘Brains’ style. Didn’t even try them on. There’s a mistake I won’t make again. Just gave her the money. Exactly what I had been planning to spend. Oh yes. The signs are all so clear now. But then ...

I should be honest here. I’ve been stringing you along a bit. Not lying eh. Just. Using words in slightly deceptive ways. Dabbling with the truth. Bulking up what seem the ordinary bits. To get the mood right. I’d apologise. But. Get over it. And pay attention.

Because now I am going to explain what the big story is ...

Chapter 2: The secret of the Spec’s; The Planet Urf

These Spec’s tell them. Stories. And. That’s where it starts to get properly weird. I’m not sure how eh.

They seem to take a plot and kinda translate it. They know what they want to tell you. But. Because it’s so alien. So not of this world. They sift through your mind and memories. And then. Use what they find as the materials to build from. Like. If they wanted to tell you about one of their animals they’d alter a nowadays one you knew already. Even the humanish characters seem a bit familiar. Guess they’re based on people in my head too.

So. I don’t know when these stories actually take place. Or where. Because when I am shown them they become set in parts of Sydney. Except quite a different version. Seen from quite an odd angle. Not a parallel Universe. More like one crossing over at some hard to measure, weird angle.

Looking out through these. Sydney is no longer lush and green. The sea always sparkling and blue. The Sydney of the Spec’s is more compact. Much older. Almost worn out. And. Surrounded by desert. Smothered by it. Bits of it entirely encased in sand. Great drifting dunes between oasis of buildings that seem partly salvaged from this reality. What few plants there are are totally Jurassic Park. Enormous cacti and succulents. Like Ad’s - Adrian’s - prize pot plants mega-giant size.

Above the sun is bigger and redder. And sorta wobbly. It throbs a bit. Like. I imagine a heart might. Making pulsing shadows. It’s actually quite interesting to watch. In a slightly scary way.

The bit I don’t get. The thing that doesn’t make any sense. Is that through it all potters your basic Aussie wildlife. Bounding Kangaroos. Sprinting Emus. Bumbling Wombats. Laughing Kookaburras. Plus a Kiwi or two - to make me feel at home? So that sounds OK eh? Wrong. They’re all colossal. And clock work. You can see the huge keys turning slowly in their backs. I’ll leave you to sort out who winds them up. Never seen it happen.

Downtown. The Harbour Bridge has a broken back. The arch is intact. But there’s no roadway from this side to the other. Where Luna Park still stands. Abandoned. The big smiley face entrance with broken teeth. Though at the moment one eye is winking at me. Like in one of my nightmares!

Whoa! That’s going a bit too far into my head. Toying with my imagination. Back off eh! Phew. Seems the Spec’s agree. Image flash. Advert break. Yoda clasps hand about fist and bows to me. Kung Fu Panda style. OK. Fair enough. Apology accepted.

Past the funpark. On the far side. There’s no North Shore suburbs. Just mounds of rubble. Like the remains of some strange mining operation. Under the bridge and around the inner beaches the harbour water is oily greens and purples. Boats a bit like Chinese junks bobbing in it. Though how they stay afloat is another mystery. Coz they’re made of old-fashioned red and green Meccano. The holey metal strips bolted together by huge nuts and bolts.

Where the Opera House would be here is open land. A grassy plain. The grass way tall. With oversized breadknife blades. At the point there’s just one huge tree. Roots hanging onto the edge for grim life. Its branches are twisted and curled together. Like Reggae dreadlocks. It seems dead. Or. Perhaps it’s just winter in this world.

Anyway. What I going to tell you comes to me in a muddle of images and sounds. A chopped up movie. Some of it looks exactly like films I’ve watched. Or images I’ve seen. From books I’ve read. Posters and pictures that Ad’ has put up round the place. He’s a regular little homemaker.

Sorry. That’s a bit unkind. I guess its weird for him as well. This make-an-instant-family thing.

The reason I’m telling you all this stuff is that I’ve tried to watch this three times so far. And. Each time it changes. But. If I think about it. Underneath. Really it’s pretty much the same story. It just gets a bit more detailed. A bit more real. But. Every time it nears a certain point it suddenly hiccups. Catches on an image. Like one of Da’s old scratched LPs. Caught in a groove. Jumping back and forth. Over the same moment.

So. I don’t know exactly how it finishes. And you know. I’m definitely the type of person who likes to know how things turn out. Therefore. I reckon if I write it down I might be able to find a clue. Get past the block. Unearth something that unlocks the final scenes.

Plus. I thought you might like my version. Because I get the idea that if you put these Spec’s on they would tell you another story. Or. If it were still this story it would use your memories in the translation. Be changed by them. Events would take a different turn. It’d all end