My Cowboy: Heart’s Desire: A Cowboy to Love, #2

By Sierra Rose

This is part 2. 

Mia works her skills as a lawyer to help Jesse fight to keep his ranch. She loves being back home in the town she grew up in. It's great to see family, friends...and Jesse. Jesse is the childhood friend she can't get out of her mind. The sparks are flying and Mia doesn't know if she should pursue the man that is turning her head. After all, she has to go back to New York City where her new life is. 

Should she dump her dream career? Or enjoy love with a handsome cowboy?  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dark Shadows Publishing
• Release date: Sep 6, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524287092

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Chapter 1

Miss, would you like something to drink?

I looked up with dull surprise, staring at the stewardess as if she’d asked me the craziest question in the world. After a second, I pulled it together and shook my head quickly at the floor, sending her on to the next row of chairs, pushing her cart with a curious expression on her face.

It was amazing, the little things you noticed. The little details that jumped out at you.

This plane heading north was much bigger than the puddle jumper I’d taken heading south—but that much was obvious. It was the subtleties that I was interested in. The slight nuances that distinguished one from another.

The way that the man across the aisle and two seats back had been staring at me non-stop since we’d taken off in Kentucky, but had yet to crack a smile. The way that every official I’d passed on my way in here had greeted me with a cursory ‘good morning,’ instead of a warm ‘good mornin.’ The way that I seemed to be the only person on board who noticed the chill in the recycled air circulating about the cabin. That I chaffed against its stale, synthetic smell.

Even the ice was different. Rounded little cubes. Pretentious spheres with a perfect hole cut out of the center. Not like the jagged chips we used back at the ranch. The rectangular blocks we threw into glasses by the handful before jamming the tray back in the freezer.

Really, Mia? Everything that happened last night, and you’re thinking about the ice?

I pressed my face against the window with a little sigh and watched as the distant skyline of New York City shimmered into view.

Yeah, I’d think about the ice. It was better than thinking about anything else to do with Kentucky. Anything else I’d left behind.

We skidded to a halt on the wet runway, and I was out of my seat before anyone else, elbowing my way to the front of the line with a rudeness that was perfectly acceptable here, but would have gotten me lynched back at Ruby’s. I waited around in the baggage claim, then hurried through the terminal as quickly as I could—heading for the cabs outside.

The thick layer of urban smog hit me like a brick to the face the second the double doors opened and let a wave of it inside. I fell back a step, automatically choking with silent gasps for air before I was pushed forward into the unrelenting tide—jostling and being jostled in a wave of endless people heading back into the city.

The first two cab drivers sped right past me when they saw my bulky luggage, but the third one stopped when I casually showed a bit of leg. He even helped me load them into the trunk before firing up the engine and speeding us away into traffic.

Where to?

8241 Marilyn Street, I answered, reciting the numbers off the tip of my tongue as I stared glumly out the window.

I was right—the city was bursting with everything new and exciting, but nothing had really changed. It was simply in a permanent state of flux. The hot dog vendors were still shouting at customers. The sewer grates still reeked of last night’s booze. The flashing billboards that lined the streets still showed the ‘newest and hottest’ campaigns.

For a split second, the ghost of a smile flickered across my face as I remembered seeing Jesse for the first time and imagining him on such a billboard. Blown up seventy feet tall and gazing out over the city—a rather bored and distractible look on his face.

Then a dull ache started hammering behind my eyes, and I turned my thoughts quickly to topics of a safe nature.

The ice, Mia. Think about the ice.

This your first time in the city? the driver asked.

I glanced through the partition in surprise, meeting his gaze in the rear view mirror. No, I’ve lived here about seven years now. Why?

You’ve got a tourist’s face, he gestured outside to the sights I’d been glued on through the window. Like you’ve never seen it before.

No, I’ve just... My voice trailed off as that ache started up again, working its way into a gradual migraine. I’ve just been gone for a while, is all.

Oh, well, welcome home!

Welcome home.

It was the last thing the two of us said to each other for a while, and it was probably for the best. I didn’t want to be rude, but I was in absolutely no state to carry on a conversation at the moment. My thoughts were swirling, building up into a virtual twister behind my eyes, while my inner voice still desperately looped the word on repeat.

Ice, ice, ice.

Welcome home. As strange as it was to say, it certainly didn’t feel like it. It felt like coming back to something—sure. But I didn’t know if I’d call that something home. Two months ago, I definitely would have. There was no real reason not to—and walking around these streets, I didn’t feel like there was a single thing in my life I didn’t have. That there was a single thing missing. Now, I wasn’t so sure.

Of course...that’s the exact reason I had to come back.

It played before my eyes like a distant memory—like trying to remember a dream, the edges of it fading even though it had only happened the previous night.

I remembered the look on Jesse’s face after he leaned back from the kiss, his eyes glowing almost gold in the gentle lamplight—reflecting my own eyes back at me.

I remembered how his face had changed when I’d stepped away, shaking from head to toe; my head jerking back and forth as quickly as my mom’s.

I...can’t do this.

The quiet words shattered the peaceful calm in the stable, breaking our perfect night into a million ill-fitting pieces. The mare shifted restlessly on the straw, and Holly nickered nervously by her side.

Jesse remained perfectly still, a shadow of confusion clouding his lovely eyes. For a second, he just stared at me, not knowing what to do. Then he, too, took a step away.

I’m sorry, he said quietly, I thought you...I misunderstood. It won’t happen again.

My stomach clenched to the point of actual pain as I realized what he was saying, what he thought I’d meant. No, Jess—it’s not the kiss, it’s...it’s everything.

He said nothing, but watched me carefully. A feeling of dread was settling over the little barn, slowly blanketing everything in its path.

I can’t stay here, I whispered. I was wrong. This isn’t....this isn’t my life anymore.

His eyes tightened as his careful calm threatened to give way. Your life can be whatever you want it to be, Mia. I thought you said you were happy—

That’s the point! My voice raised to a sudden cry. "I’m perfectly happy here, Jess! I’m perfectly happy with you!"

Then what are you—

There is no job here for me. I can’t live off of you like a freeloader.

The words echoed out in the space between us, as the air went suddenly cold. There was a line forming. Forming faster than either one of us could stop. And walls were coming up on both sides. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to keep going. To say the words that were ripping the two of us apart. But as much as it killed me to hurt him, I had to be honest.

This time—there would be no secrets. This time—I wasn’t holding anything back.

I’ll never do anything. I’ll never change anything. I’ll never become anything greater than what’s inside the four corners of this town.

It sounded harsh, but I didn’t mean it as any sort of judgement against Woodland itself. It was a hard-working town, full of hard-working people. There was no limit to the things they could accomplish here together—each one doing their own specific part.

The thing is...there was no part for me.

Jesse had the ranch. His brothers had the ranch. Mr. Garnet had the grocery store, Mrs. Wallace had the school. Ruby had the bar. Even Lisa had the diner. There was a place here for everyone. A purpose to content them and keep them moving ever forward.

But me...?

I was a graduate of Harvard Law, legally brainwashed and highly trained in reverse morality, recently fired with a very specific resume and absolutely no comprehension of anything outside the fluorescent lighting of a courtroom.

There was nothing in Woodland for me. There was nothing in me for Woodland.

I could be happy in a relationship, but that was all. My part would be finished.

And try as I might to content myself...that simply wasn’t enough.

I wanted my job. I loved my job. It meant the world to me. I didn’t want to lose it. I worked so hard for it. I studied so hard in school for it. I dreamed about a job like this. And now it was in my hands...and I was going to throw it all away. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Did that make me a bad person?

Chapter 2

I kept thinking about our last goodbye while I reclined in the airplane seat going back home.

You’re leaving, Jesse said in summary. It wasn’t a question. His voice was cold.

I flinched against his harsh inflection, but even as he said it, I realized it was true.

Yes...I’m leaving. And I’m so sorry. But I can’t give up my job. It means everything to me.

And I can’t leave this town or this ranch, he retorted. It means everything to me also.

I know.

Remember that book my dad read to us as kids? City Mouse Country Mouse?

Yeah.

I think that’s our real life story. You’re the city mouse, and I’m the country mouse.

Maybe. But the country mouse came to the city to visit. You never did.

No, but you get the general idea.

That we’re from two different worlds?

I’m just not a city guy. It’s just not in my blood.

Just like that—the blissful sunshiny chapter of my life came to a sudden close. The book slammed shut, scattering bits of dust and debris from the pages. Nothing left to argue, no pale remonstrations left to say.

Jesse saw it happen but didn’t stick around to watch. Instead, he turned on his heel and headed out of the barn. I stayed frozen for a moment, feet planted in the straw, eyes fixed on his back, before taking off after him.

Jesse—

He didn’t stop moving.

You want to go? Fine. I learned how to say goodbye to you a long time ago.

My face jerked back like he’d slapped me, and my eyes stung with forbidden tears. I deserved that. I deserved more than that. But I still had to at least try to make things right.

Jesse, wait—

I almost ran into him when he came to a sudden stop—turning to face me with a look of raw anger simmering deep in his eyes.

Just don’t expect me to beg you to stay. That anger heated over and chilled down all at the same time, hardening to a mask of indifference as he stared down at me in the dark. I’m not going to spend my life driving around your house. Do you understand?

A broken sob welled up in my throat, but I pushed it down—nodding meekly at the ground instead. No, of course, he wasn’t. He was much, much better than that. He deserved to be treated much, much better than what I’d done.

I understand.

He studied me sharply for another second, before turning abruptly on his heel. I’m glad you enjoyed your stay here. We can’t thank you enough for saving the ranch. And I know it’s time for you to get back to work. Jackson will drive you to the airport in the morning.

And that was how we