Nil Remembered

By Lynne Matson and Jay C. Spencer

My name is Scott Bracken, and this is my journal.

Scott Bracken has been home for 28 days, but nothing is the same. A month ago, he escaped from Nil, an island of wonder, beauty, and incredible danger. Now, back in his old life, no one believes Scott's story. To deal with his present, Scott must relive his past—whether he wants to or not.

Introduced to readers in Nil Unlocked, here, for the first time, is Scott's journal in its entirety. Delve deeper into the world of Nil—before Charley and Thad, before Skye and Rives—and discover the truth. Nil Remembered expands the action of Lynne Matson's astonishing Nil Trilogy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Macmillan Publishers
• Release date: Jul 19, 2016
• ISBN: 9781250125224

Lynne Matson

Lynne Matson is the author of the Nil trilogy. She grew up in Georgia in a house full of books and a backyard full of gnarly pines. She attended the University of Florida, where she met and married her husband, the cutest boy she's ever seen. Now Lynne is mother to four amazing boys and lives in Jacksonville, Florida.

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Journal

a record of occurrences, experiences, or observations

a record of events of a personal nature

a diary

mine

My name is Scott Bracken, and this is my journal.

Dr. Andrews says the first step in my recovery is to write down all my thoughts on paper. That the exercise will help me differentiate between reality and delusion. She tells me that once my thoughts are written down, I’ll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff, as if somehow by turning my thoughts into concrete words, they will magically distill into clear columns of truth and lies, of fiction and nonfiction.

She’s wrong.

Because it’s all true.

Every word.

My name is Scott Bracken, and this is the truth.

Entry #1

I read once that the most powerful memories are triggered by smell. Not mine. My most powerful memories are triggered by heat.

Blistering burning brutal heat—the kind of heat that you think you won’t survive and yet you do, and then you spend the next ten months wondering if it would’ve been easier not to survive after all, even as you spend every waking minute fighting to live. To feel the heat again because it’s life. Or maybe it’s death, because no one really knows.

But I know now.

It’s both.

Yesterday Mom was baking brownies. I was standing next to her when she opened the oven door. Searing, airless heat hit my face—and I choked. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t stop thinking.

I flinched, waiting for the fiery pain that never came. I didn’t want the brownies.

I’ve been home for 28 days.

Nothing is the same. I am not the same. I feel the fracture inside myself, inside my head, even as I know I’m sane. But if I’m not, it’s because the island made me crazy.

My name is Scott Bracken, and this is the truth.

Entry #2

This is how it began.

I was riding my bike to Stephanie’s house. I remember how perfect the day was: Stephanie’s call inviting me over for lunch, the clear May Connecticut sky. I remember the Van Halen tickets in my pocket. A surprise, setting up the raddest date ever. She was obsessed with David Lee Roth. I liked the Police better, but it wasn’t about me. It was about her. We’d just started hanging out, and now that I could drive, my world had expanded.

But I wasn’t driving that day.

Sometimes I wonder if that would have made a difference. Me driving, instead of biking, me not taking the road less traveled. I read that poem once in school—did a report on it even. It seemed lame at the time. Now it seems fucking brilliant.

Daniel had the car, which was annoying since we shared the wagon. For