Authors Against Bullying: Authors Against Bullying, #1

By Bree Vanderland, Zara Elise Thelms and Adrianna Davis

Together we can change the world.

In a world that is dark and haunted, authors team together to bring you stories of bullying with outcomes that are unexpected.

Authors Against Bullying is an anthology series who
donates to different charities to bring awareness to the issues of the world.

This volume of Authors Against Bullying is brought to you by Bree Vanderland and Zara Elise Thelms.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Indies4Change
• Release date: May 27, 2016
• ISBN: 9781533741424

Book preview

Authors Against Bullying

An Anthology

Volume One

Authors Against Bullying

An anthology

Volume One

The Copyright of each piece belongs solely to the author.

ISBN-13:978-1533432872

ISBN-10:1533432872

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under the international and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover design by Midnight Dreams – Designs and Editing

Published by Indies 4 Change Publishing

––––––––

This book is dedicated to anyone who had ever been bullied. You’re never alone <3

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Ew, Gross

His Life

Home Again

Chapter One

Chapter Two

An Untold Story

Betty and Alison

Untitled

Excerpt of  If Clouds Could Speak

Scarred

Meaningless Whispers

My Bullying Years

Not Good Enough

On Wings of Love

Supermom’s POV

Excerpt of Sharing Strength

Roy By Rachel Carlyon

The Forest Altar

The OLI Project

The Magic Pen

Through The Eyes Of The Enemy

Treatment

What It Feels Like

How About Now?

Hurt Never Heals

Shadow

Bully

Human Race

Cupcakes In A World Of Cookies

Ew, Gross

Brittany Tucker

Ew, Gross!

Those words echo in my mind as I stare at my half-naked body in the dressing room at Urban Planet.

I turn my back on the mirror, and hurriedly pull on the t-shirt I wanted to try on, hoping it doesn't cling to me in the wrong places.

Ew, Gross.

I was probably in the third grade the first time I ever heard those words directed towards me. I don't remember what for. The one that haunts me was Valentine’s Day, the year I was in Grade Five.

We had a rule that we had to give a card to everyone in the class, to make things fair, so no one would feel left out. My mom had gotten me adorable cards with animals saying cheesy things: cat's going ‘You're Purr-fect,’ and other sorts of cute thing.

Ew, Gross.

That was the reaction to the card I gave to the only cute guy in my class.

I mean, I was ten, so I don't really know if it counts as a crush, but I thought he was cute. And despite the fact I was generally disliked in school, he had always been somewhat nice to me. I chose his card with special care, and while I know it had a puppy on it, the only other thing I remember was his reaction.

Who is this one from? Oh, her? Ew. Gross! he had said to his friends, laughter ensuing. They chuckled until they noticed me sitting behind them at another desk, quietly talking to a friend. The looks they shared stuck in my mind forever. Knowing they had said something they didn't want me to hear. Something mean. Something hurtful.

Ew, Gross.

Fast forward a few years to high school. Changing for gym class. Staring at my body and only hearing the echo of those two words from the girls surrounding me, pointing and laughing at me, slowly tearing me down.

Ew, Gross.

Trying on prom dresses–with my grandparents, waiting patiently and proudly outside the dressing room doors–my back to the mirror unable to move because of those words were seared in to my mind.

Ew, Gross.

Trying on skirts and backless tops with my best friend, at nineteen years old, getting ready to go to a bar together for the first time, and feeling like I wasn't pretty enough for any of the clothes we were looking at. I can’t pull them off.  I’m never good enough.

Ew, Gross.

Feeling claustrophobic in the dressing room of a bridal boutique, trying on a dress with a tightly fitted bodice and loose skirt for my sister’s wedding. Feeling out of shape and disgusting compared to her other bridesmaids.

Ew, Gross.

I'm twenty-four now. It's been fourteen years since a boy–a boy’s name whose I can't even remember–muttered those two words. Two words that still haunt me and echo in my mind.

That's how profound an effect your words can have on your peers. Fourteen years after someone muttered those two words, whenever I have a bad day, I still hear them echo in my mind. Then, like a waterfall, everything else comes tumbling out.

What is she wearing? It looks awful!

Oh my god, look at her hair, she looks like such a dork.

Muffin top much?

Just who do you think you are?

Snide comments made by boys and girls, to my face or behind my back that reverberate horrifyingly though my mind on an almost daily basis.

In the shower, getting dressed for work, getting dressed to go out with friends.

Why I let these words affect me this way, I can't explain. What I can do, is try my hardest every single day to stare myself down in the bathroom mirror and remind myself:

That I am Beautiful, inside and out.

That I am Strong and I will conquer the world.

That I am Intelligent and I will make good choices.

That I am Loved, and I am Happy, and that's all that matters.

I'm lucky that my story has a happy ending-  I have a handsome guy who takes care of me, an amazing group of family and friends who support me and love me, but the sad truth is, not all of our stories will have a happy ending. Some of you reading this will already feel like you might not have a way out. You believe that this endless nightmare will never end.

It will.

Every day you wake up and get out of bed, you are fighting back; you are winning an uphill battle.

You are not Ew, Gross.

You are Beautiful, inside and out.

You are Strong and can conquer the world.

You are Intelligent and will make the right choice every day to fight back.

You are Loved, and you will be Happy, because you deserve to be.

It's that simple. Make the choice to disregard those voices, whether they are in your own head, or coming from the girl or boy sitting in front of you. Make the choice to treat yourself and those around you with respect and kindness.

Be aware of the effect your words have on the world.

Believe me, that it does get better. You will win this battle. Just like I won mine.

His Life

Derianna Thomas

Part One: 'The Real World'

Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It's a rare occurrence and often does much more damage than endowment.

- Zack W. Van

The warm water beat down upon Felix. He knew he should turn off the shower soon, but he couldn't help but savour the relaxation that came with warm water, something that he rarely had in this house.

Felix, c'mon! You're using up all the hot water and getting in my way! his mum yelled through the door. At least she didn't come in and tell me that this time, he thought. The lack of privacy due to the missing bathroom lock was annoying.

He got out of the shower and went back to his room before anyone could come into the bathroom. There he struggled through his mess of open books and folders to find a clean shirt to put on with the rest of his uniform.

Hey, Felix, hurry up! We're leaving now. If you want to take this long you can walk! His dad always drove them to school, despite acting like it was the last thing on Earth he actually wanted to do.

Leticia was already in the car, swishing her head to make her pigtails fly. Fe-lix, how come you always have so many books?

There's a lot of stuff to learn from the books in class, Tish. You'll see in a few years, he replied. Leticia was curious about everything, especially ‘Big School.’

But I've seen other people without books, why don't they have any?

Because they don't care about anything but themselves, he almost said. Sometimes they don't try as hard, Tish.  They don't care about school that much.

What he means is he doesn't have friends, Tish, so he needs his books to keep him company, his dad said with a laugh.

Thanks dad, really helping. He always has to make fun of me for being different.

Why don't you have friends, Felix?

I just haven't found a group of people like me yet, Tish.  No one at school really has much in common with me. They don't look past the glasses and imperfect hair.

But you're so cool, Felix.  You know so much!

Felix laughed. Maybe you can tell them that for me then, he said as he pulled on one of her pigtails lightly.

His dad pulled up outside his school. Right, Felix, out, and try not to get in trouble. His dad always seemed to think he was up to something. What it was, he didn't know.

I'll try, thanks for the lift.

Bye, Felix! his sister called out.

Felix waved to Leticia as they drove off. He turned around and started to walk up the steps of the school. Hopefully today won't be that bad.

It was wishful thinking. Murray and Turner ran up the steps throwing a ball about. Turner threw it too far and Murray knocked into him. He caught the ball, but Felix was on the floor with his books scattered around him.

Better watch it, Underwood, those books of yours might not last much longer, Murray bellowed. By then, those who weren't near to see what had happened turned around at the shout.

Bryony and her friends came up the steps and stopped when they saw Felix on the floor trying to gather up his books. For a moment, he thought she might help him–they had been good friends when they were younger. But the three of them continued to step over him.

Loser, she coughed. She hid her face with her thick, blonde hair, comically faking that she hadn't said a thing. Yet everyone heard and laughed along with her friends.

Felix finally gathered his books together and went inside, his face burning.

He went to his first class early, since the library never opened before school started. He sat in the maths corridor by himself, trying to stop the redness in his cheeks. For someone whose name means lucky, I must have the worst luck in the world. He opened his book to the homework set for today to distract himself. No one waits for an explanation here, even Bryony. Before she would have helped, but now she acts like I don't exist...

The bell interrupted his thoughts. He closed his book and stood up, placing his stacked books on the window shelf until the teacher arrived. Unfortunately, his class arrived first.

Felix, I heard you took a tumble this morning!

Yeah, man, sure your glasses let you see?

The comments were endless. Felix laughed lightly, knowing it was useless to make his view known. All that caused was a one sided fight with him and Murray.

Everyone quieted down when Mr. Leatham arrived.

In line, people! Everyone stood against the wall, waiting for Mr. Leatham to unlock the door and start the class they hated.

They all went to their seats when the door was opened. Throughout the hour-long class, Felix saw people pass notes, text each other, some of them even fell asleep. Mr. Leattham asked questions every now and then, and most people got them right. Felix had his head down over his work when Adam Jones got his question wrong.

Jones, this isn't good enough. Underwood, you think you can correct Jones' mistake? Mr. Leathem asked. Felix looked over at Adam, who was glaring back at him. Oh great...

Um, 1.53, he answered.

That's right. Jones, you should take a note out of Underwood's studying. Underwood, look alive during my class. Felix looked around the class, seeing those at the back still sleeping before going back to doing the work set. Look alive class.

They all packed up their books when the bell rang. Outside of class, Adam walked into him before turning around and stopping in front of Felix.

Think you’re so smart do you, Underwood? How'd you get that question right back there? Adam demanded.

How am I supposed to deal with this? I revise a lot, Adam, that's all it is.

Oh, so you think you're better than me now, do you? You're no one. With that, Adam walked off, his friend shoving past Felix to catch up with him. Thanks.

His next class was French. The language rooms were sweltering that morning, which turned the class’ complaints to the teacher for not opening the windows.

Miss, it's boiling in here, open some windows!

Can we go outside and learn, Miss?

En Français s'il vous plaît!

Eventually they all settled down and learnt the verb parts of aimer and détester, and made sentences with their new verbs. I guess no one learnt them when we were asked to a few weeks ago. Their teacher was always forgetting what homework she'd set, leading the class to think that they didn't have to do any.

Soon the bell rang for break, and Felix headed down to the library.

As he opened the door, he heard Mrs. Price say Morning, Felix, before he even saw her.

Morning, Mrs. Price, he called as he made his way to the table in the corner. He pulled Ash out of his bag and read until the end of break. The classes up until lunch passed quickly. They had a test on rivers in Geography, and watched a video on Hitler's foreign policy in History.

When the bell rang for lunch, Felix made his way to the corner of the lunch hall, where he ate his lunch and occasionally watched the others in the hall. Some of the guys at the other end of the table were throwing food about.

A dinner lady passed, inspecting the area, as he thought, Why wouldn't you eat it?

You can't just throw your food on the floor if you don't want it, pick it up! What? Felix looked around him in confusion. Don't act so confused, right at your feet, pick it up! He looked where she pointed and saw a bag of sandwiches.

I'm sorry; I didn't know it was there, someone –

Of course you didn't, if I catch you again you'll be sent to the headmaster. She walked past the people throwing food and talked to one of the other dinner ladies, looking over at him every now and then.

Thanks for listening. He picked up the bag and put it in the bin before leaving the lunch hall. Felix saw the rain outside, groaned, and went to the library to continue reading Ash.

At the sound of the bell, he walked to his German class, where he saw Run Lola Run ready to be played on the screen. As the class filled up, Miss Buxton hit play and sat back in her seat.

So how's the leprechauns, Felix? he heard whispered behind him. He ignored it and carried on watching the girl with the bright hair run.

What, lost your tongue at the end of the rainbow? He was pretty sure it was Murray. Not many others continually did this.

Hey guys, Felix is acting just like the national vegetable... The potato! A few of them sniggered at that, and someone tugged at his shoulder so that he turned around.

Felix, watch the movie, Miss Buxton said lazily.

They're saying things to make me feel uncomfortable, Miss, he said.

You don't look very uncomfortable, and I can't hear a thing. Watch the movie. She continued to lie back in her chair. Thanks for the support, Miss.

Murray started to whisper again. Looks like you've never kissed the Blarney Stone, eh, Felix? Why should where I'm from matter...

Do all the men dress up like girls in Ireland, Felix? Is that what you do at home? Mind, you're doing a great job, now aren't you? Murray whispered. How can people even stereotype like this? They can't make fun of this...

Shut up, Murray, he mumbled back.

Felix, I can see you talking!

Miss, this is bullying! Felix said. This can't seriously be happening.

You are just trying to get out of the movie! Pack up your things and go to see the headmaster. He could see Murray and his friends laughing him out of the classroom.

He waited outside the headmaster’s office, but soon his secretary told him they'd phoned home and he was to go straight there instead of going to what remained of his class time. This won't be fun. I'll have a mark on my record, and mum and dad won't be pleased.

His dad wouldn't be able to pick him up for another hour, so he started to walk home.

He'd been walking for five minutes when his phone rang. Mum.

Hi Mum, I can ex–

Felix! Don't you dare come home or you'll see the trouble you're in! You can't keep up with this behaviour or Leticia is going to start copying you. You're going nowhere with this and you won't keep dragging this family down.

Mum, wait, listen – There was a dead tone on the other end of the line. Great. He walked to the park that was near his house. He loved the trees here, and usually stayed there until things had calmed down and he could go home again. But what if this is it and they don't want me home again? Tish means the world to all of us... But would they cut me out for her sake?

A buzz from his phone made him look down. He opened the text to see: Well done 4 getting sent home loser, Murray told me ur pathetic response in class, mayb u should grow up and b a man.  It was Bryony. I forgot she had my number. What's the point in all of this, they never let me explain and it's too late to do anything...

His phone started ringing again. Who now?

Hello?

Felix, your mother just called me, if you even think about being there when I bring Leticia home you have another thing coming. We're going to speak to her and explain how she's wrong about idolising you as she does, before she can see you again, understand? I don't care what you do for dinner, but don't be there tonight. I told you not to get in trouble and you couldn't listen, could you? his dad yelled down the phone.

Dad, it wasn't my fault –

You've used that excuse too many times, Felix. Goodbye.

Why?

Felix didn't understand this. He never did anything wrong, so why should he be punished?

You're no one... You don’t have friends... You're dragging the family down...

They're turning Tish against you... You're a loser...

You're no one.

Felix sat under his favourite tree, gazing at the lake as the thoughts went through his head. He couldn't say that the Thought had never crossed his mind before, but as the lake lay there before him, the Thought grew stronger than it ever had before.

You're no one, the Thought told him.

You will never do well, It whispered.

Friendless.

Loser.

No good.

Waste of time.

The Thought spread through his mind, inviting him in, blocking out everything but the Thought itself.

This is the only peaceful place I have left.

Felix got out his notepad, turned to a blank page and wrote ‘Tish’ at the top of it. He didn't know what to say; didn't know what he could do to make his little sister think it was all okay.  That he was the person she thought he was. But they would have got to her by now, telling her the lies that would ruin her view of him.

I love you Tish. He loved his parents too, but they didn't want him there anymore.  He didn't want to be there now; he couldn’t stop what was happening and it was better to leave things as they were before they got worse.

At least this is the last place I'll see.

He put his notebook in his bag, open to the page for Tish. He got up, placed the bag beneath the tree and walked to the edge of the lake.

He picked up the stones there, and put them in his pockets.

Felix started to walk into the lake.

He panicked for a moment. What if this is wrong, what if it's all really