Forbidden Graces, Book One: Beginnings

By Carol Bridges

You will be joyfully uplifted as you read the story of people moving through the challenges of life from the late 1960's to 2012. Their journey takes them through birth, death, rebirth and the many levels of love not only between human beings but among all the realms of nature and the divine.

If you feel yourself moved to explore the higher octaves of living, "Forbidden Graces" will give you numerous insights into how it is done. "Book One" shows you the "Beginnings" of building an etheric Temple of Love. "Book Two" depicts "The Sensuous Longing of God" through the relationships of both same and opposite gender couples. "Book Three" explains "The Sanctuary of Sex," exploring many paths all leading to experience of the God Within All Beings. Each book takes you deeper into the understanding of the spiritual nature of sexuality, the foundation of all creative expression, leading you toward your soul's illumination.

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Apr 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9780945111061

Book preview

Bridges

The Setup

In the end, they began to recognize each other.   Long had they wearied under the weight of the mask, each his own making from the broken shards of Paradise.   There was Yaro, quite handsome with a lean, limber showing, eyes that wondered and a voice set sure.   There was Reuban, wrapped in a dancing whirl, red-haired and bearded, balanced on the edge of ecstasy.   Flutes laughed and sang when he touched them.

There was Roan, princely by stature, rosy-cheeked and kind.   There was Wren, finely-tuned and purposeful.   Each one worthy of kisses and nearly worship.   Except, of course, they had come to take on a plague, to taste a poison, and to dissolve it in their heart chalice where it would have to be mixed with an elixir of woman's love.

They had been given few instructions, for they were bold and sure of their talents or knew they could learn.   They set off with the sketchiest of maps, comfortable shoes and some songs.   It took a long time for them to meet, and still upon meeting, they were uncertain but behaved with dignity and carelessness, as if the meetings were ordinary and happened all the time.

Each allowed themselves certain passageways back to their land of origin, at least some glimpse of it, and they often found each other on these paths.   Sometimes, it was a sound that took them there, sometimes a potion, occasionally an outburst of philosophy always followed by a hearty laugh.

Women were drawn to them, to their mystery.   It was as if inside the woman, there was a gong, a large brass plate, engraved with secret symbols, hanging from its holder, the striker resting below.   If the woman was not quiet inside, and few were in that time, the gong remained silent and unnoticed.   But, if she was a listener, when a man such as these came into her presence, some mystical force picked up the striker and struck the gong with one, hard, resounding whack, and she was instantly tuned to the deeper harmonics of the man.

With some, it would start out as a close breath, a light touch, no meaning to it, only a magnetism that called a greater force into play.   Nothing interferes with such a force.   Entire life plans have been known to fall away, jobs abandoned, furniture moved aside, clothing hastily removed, all that could have been termed once was left behind.

The heart chalice begged to be filled.   It was not a kind of begging like that of an impoverished soul, someone in rags and torn shoes.   No, it was a fierce, open call, like a curious flutter in the dark night, inviting, frightening, compelling.   The sound of the gong floated away and deep into this opening, seeking and knowing its way in the dark.

The heart chalice could feel the sound gliding closer, closer, the tongue ready to taste, the eyes closing to savor, the body ready for whatever nourishment might come.   Neither man nor woman thought exactly in this way; in fact, each gave themselves many other reasons, excuses and persuasions for what was to come.   Minds always try to fill the silence, to tame the intensity and keep the body, the form, contained.   The mind loves boxes and limits and organizational labels like right, wrong, not yet, too soon and, when given the go-ahead, will elaborate endlessly on its whys’ and why nots."

The poisons, the mind would explain, are terrible, causing all manner of illness, creating obstacles to success in every endeavor and capable of eliciting vile emotions of all kinds.   Beware.   But, somehow, the men knew they were to endure the poisons, to at least accept a smattering of poison in their lives, to stand fast and hold their places in calmness while the poison tried to overtake them.   Only then would they become worthy of the wondrous.

There were many poisons.   A cruel relative.   A physical beating.   An unfortunate crisis.   The bad start.   The intoxicating substance which fails to continue its pleasures.   An accident.   A betrayal.   The list is exceedingly long. Each man had to taste at least one of these.   It served to purify the heart chalice, like a sterilization to remove the contamination of dirty fingerprints on the gold.   The chalice had to be washed in the blood of pain.   Only then could it radiate its otherworldly excellence.

The Tent

The women were thirsty.   They had each traveled a long, dry road.   Dust covered their beautiful hair and soiled their clothes.   They had to spend hours bathing, brushing, combing, applying sweet scents, practicing words that would not parch their throats, soft, soothing words.   The desert had made them dry, and they were willing to do anything to be wet again.   To feel moisture all over their bodies.

They wanted to dance and sing and write poetry as well as ride horses, play ball and sweat.   They wanted to have babies and feel blood run down their legs.   They could hardly wait to cook soup, to give milk, to sweeten life all around them.

They felt like camels.   They had endured.   They had followed stars, looked for redeemers, made do.   Now, upon being summoned by the pristine, glowing chalice in the man’s heart, they responded to the note of the gong as it trailed off into the infinite openness.

There was Saffi.   Knowledgeable about all things, now ready to close the books.   There was Kate-Amee.   Serving.   Serving.   Serving.   Done.   Hands washed and ready to embrace.   There was Shae.   Having reached the land of the Gods only to be turned back, mission not yet completed.   There was Keara.   Passionate.   Devoted.   Fed up.   She had heard the gong, knew of the chalice, but had not yet found its carrier.

The women met in the great tent.   They were attracted to the ribbons blowing, colors everywhere, bells, the bleats of sheep, the cackle of chickens, the splash of children’s laughter.   Inside, they could toss the soiled garments, bathe in the clear pool and say the forbidden words about their lives.   For no one listened with an ear to judgment, only understanding.

Yes, yes, we have also endured these things.   Yes, we know.   Thus, they emptied themselves of the desert’s dryness.   They spit out the grit and cleaned their teeth, drank peppermint tea and melted chocolate with their warm lips.   They blessed themselves with ablutions, forgiving all things in a world such as it was.   They rested then.   Whole again.

The Meeting

The men wandered down avenues they had heard of, looking up addresses of those in-the-know, finding a friend here, a mentor there, some only following signs.   Keep Going.   As they walked or rode or ran, the poisons sloshed inside their heart chalices, washing, splashing, making clean.   The poison itself was made other-than-itself as they journeyed.   As it mixed with blood and bone it became strength and courage.   As it reached the tips of fingers and toes it made them dance and skip.   Coughs and cries became chants and the sounds of wild animals uncaged and free.   How powerful they were, these men with the poisons passed.   How naked and beautiful they had become.

The women that morning felt rested.   Having prepared a final feast of all the leftovers and made extra pies to offer when surprised by the day, they folded the large and colorful tent into a shopping bag as only women can do, watered some seeds in the barren land with their bath water and sent the children to their grandparents for the day or the season, they weren’t sure.

Then, they followed the sounding of the gong and set out to meet the Mystery.   All the while, just over the hill, the men were coming toward them, blindly, for the sun was so bright that day.   Trusting, for all else had failed them.   Sometimes whooping in a loud, clear voice just because it rang like freedom in their veins.   Sometimes kneeling for a moment, compelled by who-knows-what to kiss the dirt, the sand, the dusty path.

And looking back, behind them they could see nothing.   Ahead, a mirage of flowing garments wrapped around, yes, it was...women...women like leaves rustling toward them, like the tide coming in, like comets traveling across the night sky, for each had his own way of describing the magnificent.

When they were near enough to notice, all the forms merged into the Delighted One.   Only God could be seen.   Only God could be felt.   The just-right rains came.   Moisture everywhere and clear.   Chalices filled to overflowing.   Gongs were at peace in their holdings.   The Great Om continued.   And before long...creation.

Sorrow

I must have been dreaming, a troubling dream about a time of great sorrow, spoke Saffi.

Umm, groaned the lover, waking gently.

I lost a child, she said.

No, this cannot be.   We have children all around; I have seen them.

But, I felt this one was somehow mine, that he belonged to me and we would be close.

Are you not loved by all the children?

Of course.   It was a dream.But, later, as she stirred the tea, her mind circled back to a yellow house with tears in its room.   She remembered lifting the tears, heavy in their small, soft clothing and putting them in her heart.

She remembered touching something seemingly separate from herself, then wondered, How could that be?   Lifting her cup, she then saw the mullein herb bowing toward her, releasing itself from the garden soil, knowing it was about to become another form of life, to experience an entire new range of sensations, to share in a moment of complete satisfaction while the human was pleasured.   She gave thanks to this spirit of the day, its comfort, its healing.

Yaro watched her.   Deep blue eyes like small skies invited him to fly in, float into her consciousness.   He recognized the invitation and leapt, without moving, into her memory.   He saw himself there too, in the small room of the yellow house comforting her, saying, Life is eternal, and taking her pain into himself.

I see, he said as he returned.   We were so strong.   We stayed together.   It was hard. Let us go now and find the child who brought us these gifts.

As they walked toward the singing forest holding the shared memory, the limbs of trees waved them by and lilies nodded to affirm the way.   Everything knew.   Across the valley, sunlight laid itself down before them, bending the grass, moving the turtles, skittering the birds, making the way.   Saffi and Yaro walked briskly, lighter with every step until they could see him coming, the one who had cried, the son, the lost child.

So filled with gladness, words tumbled out, falling into piles like toys and stuffed animals.   I have them here, he said, the things you gave me, though they could not see a container and were puzzled.   Myself, he said, I am made of those things, that which you showed me, your feelings, your words, the things you believed in and desired.   I am all of these and more.   I needed only a few years of your teachings to complete myself.   And I had hoped to offer you more than I took.   Please forgive my leaving.

Dearest child, the loss lived in our hearts, but created there a holy place where we became ever more grateful for that which we had shared.

It was this pain that washed my heart chalice clean, said Yaro.

And Saffi hugged their child in the way only a mother can, for a long time, and let her sorrow slowly melt into the cauldron of awareness.   The child was, indeed, himself, luminous and whole.   There was no need in him.   No longing in her.   They were complete.

She saw him blend into the trees and sky and ground becoming at once part of it all and, yet, his own soul.   She was satisfied.   Love radiated from all things and she could tell no difference between them save the colors and sounds for every creature equally rested in God’s bliss.   Even the tea.

Morning

As the lovers awakened, each recalled a thread of the lives they left behind.   Kate-Amee was stronger than she remembered herself being, as if her body had just completed a year of athletic training.   She had to look in the mirror.   Do I really look like this?

Reuban laughed, came closer, whispered, Yes.   He took her hand, very slowly, attentively, as if he had never touched something so exquisite.   His energy wrapped around her and persuaded her body to surrender to the dance.   They glided without shoes or scarves or clothing into a unity of movement like tall grasses in the wind.

Let us not disturb their reverie, said Wren.   Here all acts are respected.   All are equal, as we can no longer separate work from play.   There is no poison to fear, no hate, no greed.

Shae said, I have long prayed for this, but somehow did not imagine the transition to be as quick nor as pervasive.   Everything has changed just enough on the one hand to feel familiar, and on the other to be so vastly superior to all prior experiences.   I can hardly believe it has occurred.   Yet, here we are.   I look at you and see only God.

I see not only a most beautiful woman, responded Wren, but an illumined soul.   Your light permeates my body as if all barriers have dissolved.   What’s more, I do not feel this as an intrusion, but rather as a fulfillment of all desires."

Let us be with this now in silence.

Nearby

I wonder about the others, said Roan.   Have they come too?   Has everyone been lifted to this state of being?

Of course, said Keara.   We carried them all in our hearts for most of our lives.   We prayed for them, counseled them, cajoled them from time to time.   Don’t you remember the longing?   The disappointments when we thought we were not getting the job done?   There were so many poisons to release and overcome.

I tried to be an example. said Roan.   Live well.   Do yoga.   Eat properly.   I was very focused on the physical.   You tackled the emotional realm.   Very sticky."

Toward the last, I simply gave up trying to awaken others and entered a period of full devotion to the Higher Beings, said Keara.   I painted them.   Contemplated their divinity.   Allowed them to function through my body.   Still, I wanted a partner.   I wanted someone to share in the grace."

He is with you now, sacred woman.   We have been made worthy of the love we have found by the love we have given to others.   I have been humbled many times and given guidance on refining my ability to express the subtle gratitudes that can please a woman.   I shall attend now with fond interest to your devotions, assisting you in taking in and giving forth the glory of our beings."

So be it, replied Keara.

Back Then

Tell me what you remember, Yaro, requested Saffi.

I know that we loved, Saffi.   Our names were different and our bodies showed the effects of the dense world.   I remember meeting you and seeing so much more than your physical presence.   I was compelled to walk next to you, to ask you questions in order to have reason to be in your energy field.   You wore a jacket you had made yourself.   It was very unusual.

Yes, I see us now.   I am walking down the stairs coming from a meeting about starting a food co-op in our little town.   I feel your presence as you approach me and hear the deep tone of your words.   I let them in.   They stay with me slowly drifting down to my heart.   Pure tones.   Welcoming.   Kind.   I want to know you,

"I dream of you that night, Saffi.