Death's Melody: Ringer's Masquerade Series, #2

By Sarah J. Pepper

“I was created to die. Death isn’t what scares me. What I’m afraid of is what they’ll do if I don’t play by their rules,” James said. 
“You don’t have to do everything they want, James.” 
The rage in James’ eyes fizzled into misery, but even as anguish threatened to overtake his soul, hope lingered. His familiar scent drew me closer. It reminded me of the young man he used to be. He towered over me, as if he could shelter me from the cruelty of life. It was tempting to let him, but I knew it would just be another lie. The Ringer made a game out of life and death. They created the rules and demanded everyone abide by them or suffer the consequences. Nevertheless, I couldn’t ignore the truth any longer. I needed answers. 
“Yes, I do. If I want to protect the ones I love…” James said. He leaned in close enough to steal a kiss. An agonized smile crept onto his face.“To protect you.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sarah J. Pepper
• Release date: Aug 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9781524245016

Sarah J. Pepper

Sarah J. Pepper specializes in dark, paranormal romance - think "happy ever after" but with a twisted, dark chocolate center. Real-life romance isn't only filled with hugs, kisses, bunnies, and rainbows. True-love can be more thoroughly described in times of darkness and tribulation. It's in those harsh moments where you see what a person is truly capable of - both the good and bad. Sometimes prince-charming isn't always on time, and the glass slipper is a little snug. However, it doesn't mean Charming is not Mr. Right, and who says every shoe is the perfect fit? Get a glimpse inside her head at www.sarahjpepper.com

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Preface

Pieces of the wall stuck to his white knuckles. He glanced at the blood pooling on his hand from the fresh gashes before cursing under his breath. Blood drizzled onto the floor. Rage burned in his midnight blue eyes. His gaze was desperate. The answers he sought were the same ones tormenting my soul.

With calculated movements he closed the gap between us. His gaze flickered away from me to the locked door. I wanted to flee, but not because I was afraid he’d hurt me. My fear was that he’d see the truth hiding in my eyes. The warmth radiated off his hands as he cupped my face, searching for an explanation of how they broke me. I pressed my lips together to keep myself from saying something I'd regret. My lungs failed when he finally spoke.

For me to stay away from you isn’t a solution, he said.

I can’t ask you to take on my battles, I said stiffly, desperate to end the conversation.

You’ve never had to ask, he replied with a flawless tear-jerking smile. Besides this isn’t just your fight. Don’t be a martyr, lass.

Chapter One: Good-bye

Grief rippled through the midnight blue pools of his eyes. They communicated what his voice refused to articulate. Tears spilled from the swollen crimson lines fading into his cheek bones. Surgeons replaced most of the circulatory system via his mouth so the upper half of his face was left untouched. Not that it would change the way I saw him. The silver scars they’d eventually become couldn’t steal his beauty. His undying allure was accentuated by his skin’s imperfections.

I couldn’t breathe. I quickly became lightheaded and nearly lost my balance. I shook my head back and forth. My vision blurred from the tidal wave of tears. My throat was still raw from the night half of my soul departed this world. In my mind I still screamed out in agony, but what came out was a whisper.

Sebastian, I said, placing my hand onto the chest that now housed his heart.

Desolation embraced me as my colorful world became a gray blur. Numbness blanketed my body, but it did nothing to deaden the pain suffocating my heart. The death sentence hanging over my head had been lifted with my progenitor’s sacrifice. But looking at Tian I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and listen to death's melody at it synchronized with my heartbeat.

Weeks melted into months as I begged for death to embrace me. But the Ringers refused to take my life. Too much was on the line, too much was out of my control. I was helpless— pathetic. My curiosity hadn’t killed me, it had stolen my progenitor’s life instead. I wished my part of our soul had died along with Catherine’s. In a way it had.

All my paintings were gone when the sunrise woke me. My scrubs had been removed and replaced with a pair of pants and a blouse. I frowned and walked over to the only window in my room. I rested my elbows on the windowsill and wondered why civilian clothing had been given to me instead of the blacklisted scrubs I’d been expecting.

Mr. Gunther hired movers to collect your things.

I turned around. Brianna stood in the doorway, but she wasn’t clutching a pod. A slight pinch around her eyes was the only outward sign she cared for me at all. Her facial expressions were unreliable indicators of her feelings. I pressed my lips together to keep from speaking my mind. I had been given a life I didn't deserve because of her, because she cared for me. She betrayed me the night she saved my life. I was created to die. Now I was left with a broken soul. I hated her for it.

Margaret picked out the attire you’re to wear today. I suggest you dress quickly. You’ll have a long day ahead of you.

I crossed my arms and waited for her to leave. I saw her eyes glisten before she turned away. When she closed the door behind her a soft jingle echoed. A single bell hung from my door-knob. I walked to the door and freed it from the knob. Changes were inevitable. I sucked in several deep breaths and clutched the tiny bell.

The hallway that once made up my entire world had expanded. My captivity in the hospital was over. I was no longer a prisoner in their walls. I had been promised a real life, but instead I was being given what was left over from Catherine’s.

***

Gary’s peppered hair was slicked back, away from his aging skin. The smile tattooed onto his face couldn’t hide the bags under his eyes. His pressed suit gave the impression that he was keeping himself together, but his trembling hands gave him away. Sitting as far away from me as possible in the limo, he draped his arm over his wife’s shoulder while he chatted on his pod. Margaret stared at the floor in a daze. Her gray dress suit complimented her husband’s attire. Both hid their grief with designer clothes. Loose strands fell out of the tight bun pinning her hair back. If someone pulled one bobby pin out, she would come completely unglued. A wine glass shook in her manicured hand. Gary buried himself in work while Margaret drowned her sorrows.

The deep purple pigments of Izzy’s button up shirt reminded me of a drug I was once forced to take. The black skirt made the color of her short brown hair darker. Her lips quivered slightly, but she held her chin high and kept her shoulders back. The slight smile her father shot her gave me the impression he was pleased with her display of confidence—he looked disgusted with mine. I couldn’t blame him.

My hair framed my face when I looked down at my shaking hands. If I hadn’t been squeezing the tiny bell with a death grip it probably would have jingled. My gray pants and slick black top emphasized the curves of the body the Ringer’s had molded for me. I watched the blur of people through the tinted window. Buildings taller than I could have imagined blocked out the sky. Only a few trees broke up the concrete skyline and there wasn’t a blade of grass to be seen. Claustraphobia’s tight grip closed around my throat.

Just breathe, Cat, Izzy said.

Catherine, Gary corrected, refusing to look at me for longer than the blink of an eye.

The hot leather seat offered little comfort as I gazed out the window. My anxiety spiked and my headaches still presented when I was in stressful situations. Brianna would have been concerned, if she'd been there. My heart sank when I thought about the people that were no longer a part of my life – Catherine, Darius, Jenny, Tian, James...I closed my eyes and wished Sebastian was there to take me away from this nightmare as it unraveled. I clutched the iridescent bell and pretended it was his hand.

The vehicle door opened, jarring me back into reality. Pod flashes stole my vision. People yelled questions I didn’t understand. My body shook. Gary and Margaret stepped out and waved to the crowd, they seemed comforted by the chaos. Izzy took my hand and led me out of the vehicle. Her clammy hand was my only anchor as I stumbled onto the sidewalk. I kept my head down, memorizing the rock-like tile under my feet rather than deal with the countless faces in the crowd.

Just breathe, Cat, Izzy whispered again as she smiled brightly. Her eyes glistened but she somehow made it look like she was crying because she was so happy. Breathe and smile. Once this is over, we’ll finally go home.

Brianna’s definition of home was a place where someone resided. I defined home as a feeling that engulfed me when I gazed into Sebastian’s midnight blue eyes. My lip quivered thinking of the home I’d never get to lose myself in again. Homes changed, and sometimes one could never return.

We walked through a doorway into a conference room. The wooden floor creaked under my feet. After walking up more stairs than I cared to count, we stopped. We stood on a large stage of sorts, overlooking a sea of people. They watched my every move, like I was a specimen presented for their dissection.

My ears began to ring when a woman spoke loudly to the assembled crowd. Once I'd gathered my bearings I found myself looking at an older woman with tightly curled white hair. She spoke into a round object propped up on a stand in front of her. Her gold-trimmed glasses rested on her narrow nose. A peach suit hung from her trim body. She addressed the crowd like they were a single person. Confidence radiated from her smile. I briefly forgot my anxiety. For a moment I forgot my soul was broken, and for a sliver of a second I forgot my world was destroyed as I listened to her speak.

People clapped when Gary walked up to the stand. His voice carried well but the words he was saying didn’t make sense. Lies spewed from his mouth like a faucet. The longer he talked the more often the crowd glanced at me and took my picture. I wanted to find a corner and melt into the wall.

Izzy squeezed my hand twice and spoke my progenitor’s name. I looked to her, confused. She nodded to her father who had his arms wide open. His smile was bright and his eyes glistened. I gave him a weak smile and carefully walked to him. My legs were so wobbly I thought I’d fall into his arms. But it was a dark black cord that tripped me instead.

I started to fall when someone caught my arm. The elderly woman made a comment that I didn’t understand. The crowd chuckled. But I wasn’t paying attention to them. My gaze had been drawn to a man on stage that I'd once loved and trusted completely. James’ athletic build hinted that he could spend an entire afternoon in the physical examination room without getting tired. A simple white button-up shirt was the only barrier between me and the chiseled chest I'd once happily laid against. It was tucked loosely into a pair of simple black slacks. He smiled at me, his gaze suggested feelings that had long ago dissolved. He looked captivated. His blond hair hung low, partly obscuring his hazel eyes. They didn’t make my heart race the way the inky blue ones had. I knew exactly who and what he was—a spawn and a liar. He subtly acknowledged my disdain.

I’d never let you fall, James said, helping me upright. It wasn’t until then that I noticed the thin band on his wrist. I'd never seen anything like it. Once I was back on my hazardous heels he escorted me to Gary.

James released my arm, and Gary lifted me off the ground and spun me in a circle. I kept my hand with the bell in it squeezed tightly closed. He set me gently back down, kissed my forehead, and kept his arm wrapped around me as he faced the crowd again. I gave him a questioning look before glancing over my shoulder. James stared intently at me, like it was his mission not to let me out of his sight.

Smile for the cameras, James said and nodded to the crowd.

I didn’t want to pretend that my soul hadn't been ripped from my body. I looked at the sea of people and immediately regretted it. My pulse raced. My body trembled. My knees weakened. My lungs failed me. I wanted to find a dark room and cry. Darkness had comforted me in the weeks following Catherine’s death. No one should have wanted me enough to drag me out into the spotlight.

...and like you, I hope my daughter will be an inspiration.

I rubbed my eyes as I refocused on reality. Either my delusions were getting more creative and specific, or the Gunther’s had chosen to live a lie. When an eruption of cheering overcame the crowd, we started to leave.

Catherine! What do you plan on doing now that you aren’t fighting for your life?

A pretty woman with straight blonde hair held a black stick out to me. I frowned, not understanding the gesture she was making with the object. Gary walked in front of me and spoke into it. His voice wasn’t magnified like it was when he was standing on the stage addressing the crowd however, the crowd quieted some as they waited for him to finish speaking.

As you can see this has been an overwhelming ordeal for my daughter to undergo and we would appreciate some recovery time, Gary said.

Turning around only caused another uproar of questions. He grabbed my elbow and we started to walk off the stage. People kept asking for a statement from Catherine Gunther. Every time her name was mentioned, it was like a knife piercing my heart. By the time I neared the doorway my legs were trembling so violently I stumbled. I instinctively held my hands out in front of me, James grabbed one to steady me. Together he and Gary kept me from missing a single step but the iridescent bell slipped from my grip. It rolled onto the wooden floor. People walked over it to get a closer shot of me. Without thinking, I yelped. I stopped walking and searched the ground. The entire area went silent while they documented absolutely everything I did.

Just leave it, Gary whispered, pulling my arm. Don’t make a scene.

I didn’t say a word. All my fight was long gone. Collapsing onto the floorboards, I started to weep. I closed my eyes as the flashes threatened to blind me. I clung to the floorboards and my mind returned to my painting of a tortured girl. My soul ached thinking of how Catherine had burned in the fire, trapped between the wooden floorboards.

The fire stole everything ...

Someone gently gripped my shoulder. I looked up. His devastatingly beautiful eyes gave me a sense of comfort I hadn’t thought I'd ever find again. Kneeling beside me, he wiped the tears from my face. His gaze flickered to his hand. The crimson marks that lingered along his skin hadn’t destroyed his beauty. They added character. I wished he could see himself through my eyes. Instead he hid them under his clothing.

More than anyone else, he knew what I suffered through. He’d been through the Ringer and survived... like me. He wore his battle scars on his skin while mine bled out my eyes. My bell was in his hand. He gave it a quick jingle before placing it against his sweatshirt.

I reached for it then hesitated. Instead, I closed my eyes and placed my hand on his chest. The heart beat strong. Only when I met his gaze did he let me wiggle the bell free.

Just breathe, lass.

When he spoke I couldn’t pretend it was anyone but Tian. I was desperate to live in a dream, but reality eagerly ripped me back to the present. The surgical marks that used to litter Sebastian’s skin now looked like graffiti on Tian’s. He hadn’t scared as badly as Sebastian, but his skin was still a far cry from my own polished veneer.

Positioning himself behind me, James wrapped his arms around my waist to comfort me. Unable to tear my gaze away from Tian, I barely realized that James was whispering in my ear.

We need to leave. Would you like me to throw you over my shoulder?

What came out was barely louder than a whisper, but I needed to say it. The rest of the world became silent, eating up every word I spoke. Catherine gave me the gift of life. I didn’t deserve it, yet she gave it willingly.

My vision blurred the more nervous I became. But Tian was there for me, holding his gaze with mine. The comfort of his gaze revived a confidence I thought I'd lost. I placed the bell over my heart, took a deep breath and raised my voice.

I held onto her as long as I could while wishing for a different outcome. She said there was no better way to embrace death than to give me the life she’d never have. She loved me unconditionally just like I loved her. Catherine was more than a sister to me. She was a part of me. I know Sebastian—

I know, Tian interrupted as I struggled to finish. I understand.

Only when Tian exchanged a look with James did I notice the immense pressure around my waist. When I looked up at James, I realized he was holding his breath. He wore an expression of care and concern, but there was something in his eyes. It was fear.

I closed my eyes and fought back the tears that threatened to flow. James gently tucked a lock of my scarlet hair behind my ear. I knew he still loved me just as I knew a part of him hated those feelings. His lips brushed my forehead. Pods flashed, capturing the moment. He lifted me into his arms and carried me to the vehicle we had come in. Gary met us at the car, the spokeswoman by his side.

As you can see the spawns and progenitors form strong bonds with one another, Gary said. Catherine’s spawn willingly gave up her life so her progenitor could survive. I don’t think I could put it any better than my daughter just did.

Even though her spawn was soulless, the woman said. It gave Catherine a chance to live on.

Listen carefully, James said just loud enough for me to hear. Publicly, you’re Catherine. If you do or say anything to contradict that, the Ringer will come for you, but it won’t be to kill you...it’ll be worse.

His warning echoed in my ears. I barely registered that the vehicle had stopped. My new prison didn’t have a fence around it like the hospital. It was enclosed in a neighborhood of houses. A series of spruce trees lined the driveway and framed a beautiful white porch. Deep green grass spread around the impressive two-story brick house. Vines crawled up the sides and wrapped around a multitude of balconies. It looked like nature’s hand had erupted from the ground and was closing its fingerlike vines around the house and pulling it under the soil. Bushes bordered the yard. It was a picturesque extension of the Ringer’s handhold on me. Secluded somewhere in the house was my new bedroom—my new cell.

***

Raindrops sparkled in the evening sunset. The colors hiding in the water captivated me as they drizzled down the glass. I traced one while Sebastian hummed softly, swaying us back and forth. Occasionally he’d take a deep breath of my hair and his rhythm would pick up slightly. The world seemed to whisper to him and him alone. As much as I tried, I couldn’t hear the patterns of the lives around me like he could. With a brush, I could bring their colors to life. But to pair their images with songs was Sebastian’s talent.

He’d captured my feelings with the deep sound of his voice. He knew I was more frightened than I had been letting on. I could sense his concern.

I’m not scared of death, I said after he kissed my temple. I’m scared of losing you.

He whispered my name as if it was the premise for the tune to which we swayed. If everything goes as planned, you’ll never have to live one day without me.

***

Tears soaked into my pillow as the memory ripped at my soul. The sound of the rain made my heart ache. Lightning lit up the sky. I screamed into the night, begging for a different beginning to the life I was given.

Just breathe, Cat, Izzy said as she took me in her arms.

When I failed to curb my cries her hand clamped down over my mouth. She said something about not waking up the whole house. I clung to her as I begged for an ending to my suffering. Izzy rocked me in a bed that was never meant for me. Behind closed doors a fight was waiting to happen between Margaret and I. Gary wouldn’t acknowledge my presence unless a pod was in front of us. Izzy was the only one who seemed to care. I knew they were grieving as well, but I hadn’t asked to stay with them. I hadn’t demanded to be a part of their family. They threw me into Catherine’s shoes without any consultation. Tears trickled down my cheeks until exhaustion pulled me into a dreamless sleep.

Catherine’s memories stopped interrupting my nights after she died. I could still recall the ones that had already played out in my mind, but nothing new bombarded my dreams. Her part of our soul died when she took her last breath. As tragic as her memories were I missed them, I wanted nothing more than to watch them in my dreams... it would make me feel like she was still alive.

Izzy was lying in Catherine’s bed when I woke the following morning. Her bloodshot eyes were slightly swollen, but her skin was no longer tear-stained. I carefully pulled back the violet comforter and slid off the softest bed I’d ever laid in. I grabbed the iridescent bell from the wooden nightstand and slid it carefully into my pajama pants pocket. Daisy patterned curtains hung from brass rods above the balcony doors.

Catherine had never lived here, but Izzy told me her parents hired interior designers to create the room for her. Pictures in magenta and brass frames hung on the soft yellow walls. I recognized only a couple of the smiling faces in them. A wooden bookshelf displayed several series of books that I couldn’t read. CRG + KJJ was chipped into the side. It must have been engraved long ago because the wood was polished and smooth around the letters. A pile of rolled up paper and dry brushes had been pushed into the far corner. Painful dreams and sweet memories of a life that wasn’t mine anymore were illustrated on my paintings. I looked away before I was tempted to unravel the history of my life.

Careful not to make too much noise, I cracked the balcony door open. Walking out, I could see the entire yard from my second story window. Dew glistened on the grass. Birds chirped in the sleepy morning. I wished the little messengers had news to give me that would end my suffering.

Goosebumps grew on my skin. Summer had already given up its reins to fall. Maroon, orange, and gold leaves danced in the air. I closed my eyes and tried not to think of how hell would look in the morning light. I tried not to think about how autumn leaves and fire mimicked each other. I tried to not think about anything other than how Sebastian loved the sun’s light and how he'd said it electrified the hues in my hair. I thought of his arms sliding around my waist. I thought about the way his devilish grin made me blush whenever he looked into my eyes and called me his kitty cat. As the sun kissed my skin I thought of his warm hands cupping my face before his lips met mine. I thought about how I lost the ability to breathe when he looked into my eyes. He could take one look at me and know what I was thinking. He saw my soul before I admitted I had one. If I blocked out everything else in the world I could even hear his voice—his demonic voice that now called to me before sleep each night. He'd opened my eyes to a beautiful world that I couldn’t appreciate, didn’t want to appreciate, not without him.

You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?

I jumped slightly at the sound and looked over my shoulder. Izzy was propped on her elbows. The comforter was thrown haphazardly around her.

Dad figured I needed to get back into my routine when mid-semester tests were through. I’ll be gone for a good chunk of the day while I play catch-up at school.

Define school. She’d already taught me so many words since I’d been here.

It’s where I learn to define words, Izzy said with a smirk. Mom and Dad hired a tutor for you. It’s a person that teaches outside of a school.

Izzy crawled out of bed and started to reach for me. She knew I didn’t understand why everyone pretended I was their daughter, or why her parents even allowed me to live in their home. Initially I'd thought it might be better than the alternative. Dressing in black scrubs was my only other foreseeable option. I’d take it, considering how miserable I was