The Poet's Poet

By Dragline

Words to Read While Awaiting the Apocalypse

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dragline
• Release date: Dec 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310309717

Book preview

Introduction

Written in a rough timespan of 2007-2013, though some sooner. They’re now being touched up and released fashionably late in the winter of 2015.

These poems are part of a process that began in 1998, and gradually refined itself to the terrible place it resides now. Fifteen years from its humble beginnings inspired by isolation and misguided artistic conceit, they have achieved status of, at worst, hypnotic mediocrity.

(!) = subdued excitement.

Or inverted vagina.

You’ve learned something new.

How to Write a Poem

First, you pick a subject

Love’s a good one

Then you

Write

Like

This

It adds mystique

Then

You, you

Be vague

And bleed

Bleed like Hemingway

You

Can

Describe

Your case

of chlamydia

In a captivating way

Death

Is a

Recurring theme

As is

Love

A recurring theme

As is

Repetition

A recurring theme

As is

Venereal

Disease

A recurring theme

And

You

End things

On a poignant note

God

I

Miss her

Pale skin

Like a white Christmas

And her

Twat

Like a Christmas wreath

Each

Glowing

Red bulb

An

Outbreak

Of

Herpes

How to Write a Poem, Part II

How to write a poem, part II

Tip 1: sequels are good

It’s good business

You seem legit

And colons are sexy

I mean the words thing

And colons are sexy

A semi-colon helps;

It’s sophistication

Instantaneously

Also, clever wordplay

My entire life

To pick one punctuation

No question mark?

No exclamations!

A semi-colon is fitting

I’m half an asshole;

No mystery?

No excitement!

And of barely any use

Except for

Long-winded

Run-on sentence

Douchebags

Self-loathing is key

Feigning isolation

Meanwhile dating

Several internet babes

For some credit

You might want to

Dr. Pepper in

Some POP culture references

It’s down to earth

It’s a safe haven

Deep down in earth

Like a bomb shelter

And you end it

Once you’ve lost interest

Once you can

No longer

Squeeze an idea

From the initial

Stream of thought

Spongebob

The Greatest Poem Ever Written

This is the greatest poem ever written

Some cunt will jerk off Maya Angelou

Sure, she was our favourite Ninja Turtle

But what’s she done lately?

This isn’t the original

To this poem exists a prequel

But it sucked in mind of the title

And here we are

The real deal-McCoy-shebang

Off-the-cuff writing-stuffs

Impromptu poetic intuition

Asking the permeating questions

Such as, What’s up with shebang?

Sounds like a hot nite with a tran

Your average modern poet

Is an anonymous weirdo

A masquerading masturbator

Cumming over all

Especially himself

Gluing his visage to the walls

with the great aphrodisiac

Of hypothetical grandiosity

Cumming everywhere

But to fruition

Here’s one for your far-reaching

Ham-fisted pretense:

An Instagram of my balls

In grainy black and white

Poetry’s about using metaphors

For revealing expressions

Not hiding them, shitheels

And on the subject of expression

Shut the fuck up about freedom, too

Complete freedom allows us

The freedom to oppress others

Free to dominate

Also I called Maya Angelou a Ninja Turtle

This is the greatest poem ever written

For the Romantics

For the romantics

Who know the expensive cuts

The best meat’s in back

And it’s grass fed

Like no place on earth

Forever west

An expanse wider

Than the Great Plains

A land vast and pretty

Enough to location scout

Spots for a grave

Like a line dividing the sky

This place is a cosmic joke

One can only cuddle

Himself and chuckle

Stroke his own cheek

And picture things bleak

The land covered

With hundreds of wells

To the brim with blood

Cattle decaying

In spot as they stand

Vultures feasting

Until they collapse

The beautiful landscapes

The patches of weed

The sun-burned grass

The rivers black

And a ringing call

Echoing through the cities

Of man

And his hubris

Bleeding all ears

Blooding the gutters

Drowning the small ones

Drowning the children

Swept away

With dead pests

The little shits

For the fantasies of man

For arrogance

For the sin

Of exiling foul

Reviews for The Poet's Poet

[Brian · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

unless you enjoy poets that cannot refrain from vulgar references from a mind that seems fixated on the author's non-existent social/ sexual life, skip this one.