The Pea Eye

By G. Howard Poteet

After getting his diploma in criminal justice from a backwoods community college, Delbert Clanton, a would-be private investigator, leaves The Economy Trailer Park to seek his fame and fortune in The Big Apple. Before you know it, he is hired to work in a position that he labels as being a "pea eye" but which you and I would say is really a job as an all-purpose substitute security guard. In one after another of these positions, both in uniform and plainclothes , he has a run of good luck in stumbling upon and apprehending one after another miscreant. Both Delbert and his employer, a seedy detective agency, seem to think he knows what he is doing, so, the next thing you know, he gets ahead in the security business. This all seems plausible if you believe everything that Delbert tells you for he is the narrator of the story. This is a humorous send-up of the private security business and Delbert is a character you won't soon forget.

• Language: English
• Publisher: G. Howard Poteet
• Release date: Nov 20, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310866142

G. Howard Poteet

A New Jersey professor, G. Howard Poteet holds a law degree, two master's degrees, and a doctorate in English (Columbia University, NYC). He has published 37 books iwith major print publishers (McGraw- Hill, Harcourt, Prentice-Hall) as well as 3 digital books with Smashwords. One of his books has been translated into 10 languages . and made into a TV series (Russia).He has written and published 3 distance education courses as well as numerous poems, short stories, and essays in publications as varied as The NEW YORK TIMES, THE ENGLISH JOURNAL, MECHANIX ILLUSTRATED, READING IMPROVEMENT, THE NEWARK STAR LEDGER, AUDIO-VISUAL NEWS, NEWS AND VIEWS, and many others. Dr. Poteet has also been editor of 3 newsletters including COLLEGE ENGLISH NOTES and contributing editor to NEWS AND VIEWS and THE FILM JOURNAL ADVERTISER.

Book preview

The Pea Eye

by

G. Howard Poteet

Published by

G. Howard Poteet on Smashwords

The Pea Eye

Copyright © 2016 by G. Howard Poteet

ISBN 9781310866142

All rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned. or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author, except for brief quotations embodied in reviews. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect are appreciated.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, livin’ or dead, or places, events, or locales are purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 1

When I graduated from Humboldt County Community College as a Pea Eye, I had no idea that on the first day on the job, I would become a top security undercover operator for the Federal Government and be privileged to carry an official ballpoint pen as a sign of my authority.

Well, sir, the day after Doctor Wilma Jean Daugherty, Academic Dean of the of the aforesaid HCCC hands me my diploma with my A. A. in Criminal Justice degree – the very next day, I caught me the Greyhound bus to New York City. My Momma and Mavis and Travis, the couple next door to us in The Economy Trailer Park, they all waved bye as my bus pulled out the parkin’ lot of Snuffy’s Sunoco Service Station onto State Route 221. As you can imagine, there ain’t much call for a Private Investigator back home in Rumble Hollow, Kentucky, so ever body understood when I decided to get me a job as a Pea Eye in The Big Apple so I could start nailin’ them hoodlums which are my life’s ambition. I thought about it the whole ride, which took forever and a day.

Well, Ok, then, after we finally pulled into what they call The Poor Authority Bus Terminal, I went right out on their 8th Avenue to lok for a place to stay. The racket outside was somethin’ fierce what with all them vehicles and all. It put me in mind of that there big auto race them fellers run up at Indianapolis ever year.

All right. As luck would have it, who do I run into outside The Poor Authority Bus Terminal but a nice, polite gentleman just standin’ around on the sidewalk drinkin’ out of a paper sack.

Sir. Sir. Welcome to New York City, Sir, he shouts. May I please help you with your suitcase, Sir?

No, thank you kindly. I just lookin’ for a hotel.

Hotel? Why, Sir, this is your lucky day. I just happens to be a big-time real estate man, myself. Why, me and Donald Trump are just like that.

Donald Trunk?

"Trump. He a real estate magnet, but it don’t matter none. Me bein’ in the business and all, I can get you a special deal on a hotel room for a small $20 Real Estate Finder’s Fee."

$20? I go. I didn’t know you had to pay money just to find you a room.

Oh, yes sir, in New York, you do. It is the law. If it was just up to me, I’d do it for free but them government real estate regulations, they won’t let me.

I thought you just goes in a hotel and tells ‘em you be wantin’ a room and that’s that.

Oh, no sir, it don’t work that way in New York City. Them hotels won’t even rent you no room at all unlessen one of us real estate peoples gives them the ok. And I only charges $20 when some of them wants $30 or $40.

Well, OK, then, I say to him. But, find me somethin’ cheap. I am not a rich man.

You ain’t? Why, sir, you sure looks like you is. Well, that’s the way it bees sometimes.

Maurice, which he said were his name, he took me over to this here Regal Budget Residential Hotel which were only about six or eight blocks away for that are the way they measures distances up year . It turn out that even there they literally wanted an arm and a leg, but Maurice, he said that if they hadn’t seen he