Rock Star Returns: Carlie's Story: Access All Areas, #2

By Candy J Starr

As soon as the song started, I recognised his voice. How could I ever forget it? That voice still echoed through my dreams, causing me to wake in cold sweat. If I could, I'd have knocked that radio to the ground and smashed it beneath my feet, shattering it into silence, every little piece destroyed so that Holden King would shut the fuck up and stop haunting me. 

And, if the song wasn't bad enough, Holden King swaggers back into my life, determined to rekindle the love he killed inside me. 

I'll never be able to trust that man again but my body responds to him in ways I can't control.

If you like second chances, rekindled romance and hot rockers, you'll love Rock Star Returns.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Candy J Starr
• Release date: Aug 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781519914347

Candy J Starr

This short story is an exclusive for my VIP subscriber list only. If you're not on my mailing list but would love to read more great stories by me, sign up here: http://candyjstarr.com/join-my-mailing-list/  --- Candy J. Starr used to be a band manager until she realised that the band she managed was so lacking in charisma that they actually sucked the charisma out of any room they played. “Screw you,” she said, leaving them to wallow in obscurity – totally forgetting that they owed her big bucks for video equipment hire. Candy has filmed and interviewed some big names in the rock business, and a lot of small ones. She’s seen the dirty little secrets that go on in the back rooms of band venues. She’s seen the ugly side of rock and the very pretty one. But, of course, everything she writes is fiction.

Book preview

Chapter 1  

AS SOON AS THE SONG started, I recognized his voice. How could I ever forget it? That voice still echoed through my dreams, causing me to wake in a cold sweat. If I could, I'd have knocked that radio to the ground and smashed it beneath my feet, shattering it into silence, every little piece destroyed so that Holden King would shut the fuck up and stop torturing me. But, since I was sitting in the back seat of a cab on my way to work, that option was kind of impossible.

Can you change the channel? I asked the driver.

Huh?

Lyrics about a girl with cherry red lips and a killer smile floated in the air.

Just change the fucking channel already.

Was he deaf or just stupid?

I had the cherry red lips and I'd kill Holden King with more than my smile if I ever saw him again. That was a certainty. Not just with my smile but with my fists and any weapon I had close to hand.

Three years ago Holden walked out of my life. I'd tried to wipe him from my mind. I'd done everything in my power to exterminate him but he crept back in like a roach infestation. Sometimes a smell, sometimes a glimpse of black hair in the same style. I'd accidentally walk through the wrong neighborhood and see a place we'd gone to eat or a bar we drank at. Times like that, the flood of memories threatened to overwhelm me. My stomach would clench in the most revolting way, which only showed how much I hated him.

When the memories overwhelmed me, I'd do whatever it took to purge them. Drink, party. Sometimes a one-night stand with someone whose name I never bothered to remember.

You don't like 'Rock Princess'? This song is huge. Huge. It's going to be the song of the year.

I groaned. Not that a cab driver was any kind of music expert but then they do have their finger on the pulse of what the people loved.

What good were all my attempts to forget when that bastard wrote a song punching me right in the wound that had destroyed me? He mined the depths of our relationship for a song and used that to make money. It was a damn good song too. He could make you believe anything when he sang. It almost sounded like he regretted the things he'd done.

I hoped the cab driver was wrong. I couldn't deal with hearing that song everywhere I went.

I don't like it, I said. "Why have you not turned it off already?"

The driver switched the station to some talk show. He kept humming the tune, though.

This was some kind of hell. I'd died and was paying for my sins and that payment would be hearing that stupid song everywhere I went. The girl I'll never forget, the girl I'll never get over. What the fuck was that even about? He got over me pretty quick smart. I guess lying, cheating man-whore doesn't make for a catchy song. That song would never take off like the sorry story of a love gone wrong but he was the one who made it go wrong. He'd smashed every precious thing we'd had then walked off with his guitar slung over his back like a damn star while I tried to glue all the pieces of my life into some semblance of a living thing.

Holden King.

He was always going to be a star. He’d had that quality about him. Our small hometown sure hadn't been big enough to hold him. We’d always talked about getting out until, a few weeks after we finished school, I woke up to the sound of rocks hitting my window.

I pulled back the curtains to see Holden leaning on the shitbox car he’d been fixing up.

He rushed over to my window when he saw me and I opened it for him.

Let’s go. Pack your bag and get out of here. If we don’t do it now, we never will.

All those nights in his room we’d planned this. He'd lay beside me, spinning me dreams of what it'd be like when he hit the big time. I didn't care about the big time, I just liked the feel of his body beside me on those hot summer nights. I'd lay my head on his shoulder and he'd play with my hair. We'd spend hours like that, in his room above his parent's garage. He'd play Johnny Cash on the old stereo and we'd smoke cigarettes, sometimes sip from a stolen bottle of whiskey.

Without hesitating, I’d thrown my things into a bag. Makeup, clothes, boots. The stash of money I’d hidden in the back of the wardrobe. What else did I need?

I wrote a note and left it for my parents. They’d be angry but they’d get over it. They’d banned me from seeing Holden but there was nothing that could keep us apart.

I climbed out the bedroom window and jumped in the car. He had a black eye. I didn’t ask. I didn’t need to. His dad had come home, drunk again. The same old story.

Whoa, Carlie, we’re doing it. He grinned at me and started the car, spinning the wheels as we pulled away from the curb.

Do you think this pile of junk will make it?

It’ll make it, just like I’ll make it.  I’m going to be a star and you’ll be my princess, right there beside me. My rock princess with your cherry red lips.

We were all the rock songs came to life. The two crazy kids with heads filled with dreams and only our love to sustain us.

I watched in the rear vision mirror until that town became a tiny speck, my heart thumping with excitement. I’d believed in Holden. As far as you looked, all you could see were paddocks of wheat drying in the sun but Holden's vision was fixed on something much, much further away.

As we drove away, he sang me the song he’d been writing. It’d been a good song. A great song. That song would make him a star.

People had said he was a fool to believe he could make a living as a rock star. It was a crap shoot, a lottery win. Those people were stupid.

Holden's dream of hitting the big time was much more realistic than my dream of being there beside him while he did it. I'd been shed just as easily as he'd shed the small town and the bad haircut. I'd been nothing to him, he proved that over and over again until I got the point.

I curled into the corner of the cab, leaning on the door frame. We were nearly at Trouble. I'd still be late for work but not too late. The sooner I got out of that cab, the better. The cab driver still hummed the song as though it'd seeped into his skin and he couldn't change the channel in his mind. The air in the cab became unbearably thick. Even with the air conditioning on, it was too stuffy for me to breathe. The space contracted around me. I had to escape.

Pull up over here, I said.

But we're not there yet, he said. It's not much further.

That's okay, I replied. I can walk from here.

I handed him the money and jumped out. I gulped in the fresh air, hoping it'd ease the fever of my body. I had to beat Holden King. I had to find some way to let him go. But, even three years later, he could make me feel like I was going to collapse. Maybe I needed to get a knife and hack out that part of my heart where he nestled. That way I could have some peace in this life and move on.

I rushed along the streets to get to the club. Rushing to escape the memories and the pain. I barged into people and knocked them aside. I swerved around old ladies. I dodged the racks of sale clothing lining the footpath and a couple too in love with each other to notice anything else.

I picked up my pace, hoping to outrun this thing.

Because every single shop, every car stereo, every house had the same music blaring out.

They were all listening to it, all getting wrapped in the world of Holden King.

Was there nowhere I could escape Rock Princess?

Little did I know that, only one week later, things would get even worse.

Chapter 2  

IT'D BEEN A NORMAL day at work when Razer came in. He and Violet had just gotten together — about bloody time too.  Any fool could see she had the biggest girl boner going on in her pants for him but she had screwed up ideas about dating rockers. Well, I could understand that. Rockers were the worst boyfriends. Hell, I'd been hurt more than most but that didn't stop me dipping my toes in the water now and then. Well, a quick dip and then I'd kiss that water goodbye. But I'd not stopped swimming altogether.

Anyway, everyone was curious as hell about what was going on between them.

They were in her office. I bet he wanted sex. He’d gone in there with that sex-hungry look in his eyes. She'd say no, though. Too worried someone would hear and that it would be unprofessional and that kind of Violet stuff. I'd have no qualms at all about it but that's me.

I'm going to mop the storeroom, Mark said.

Leave them alone, Mark, you dirty perv. She deserves some peace. If they want to have a quickie, that's fine. And mopping is Drew's job.

I wasn't even sure why Mark was in early. Normally, he turned up just before his shift started and left as soon as he was finished. I guess he had a life, unlike the rest of us. I’d come in early because it was easier to go to work straight after the gym than go home.

Drew's busy sorting things out upstairs. It's just being a good team player.

And, with that, he headed to the storeroom. I was just thinking of warning Violet when they both came out. Good move, go home and have sex there. The two of them shone like they were the first people in the world to ever fall in love. Razer worked so hard to prove to Violet that he was right for her, even though she'd resisted him like hell. I was so glad that she was with him and not Alex. Alex would never make her glow like that.

I needed to restock the bar and I'd just picked up a bottle of whiskey when I heard the door open. No matter how often Drew was reminded to lock the door before the bar opened, he always forgot and we'd get randoms wandering in off the street. I glanced up, ready to yell at whoever it was to get the hell out of the bar. That pretty soon made them move, usually.

When he walked in, my stomach clenched before my mind even registered him. I froze on the spot, not sure if this was really happening.

Fuck, no, I whispered. Fuck.

The bottle of whiskey fell from my hand, shattering on the floor and spraying all up my legs but I couldn't move. I'd turned to stone. I wanted to believe that I was seeing things. My vision blurred but it was him. He had the nerve to walk into the bar where I worked. He could NOT be here. This was my turf and my town.

Get the fuck out, Holden My body trembled by my voice stayed strong. Get out or I'll have to kill you.

As he walked toward me, the air got sucked out of the room. If anything, he looked better than he had three years ago. Broader in the shoulders, cockier in his movements. When he'd left me, he’d still clung to the edges of boyhood, a bit baby-faced. That was all gone now. He had the look of a man who got what he wanted and wouldn't take any arguments. His face was all angles, a bit cragged but in a way that only made him hotter. And his body was hard and solid.

Hey, Carlie. He still had that tinge of country boy drawl with a voice that rumbled through your body.

Violet and Razer glanced from Holden to me, the unspoken questions flittering over their face and followed by alarm like they wanted to get the hell out of the place.

Holden stood between them and the door.

As Violet turned back to Holden, the recognition dawned over her face although she fought to control it. Of course, she knew who he was but, being Violet, would never admit it in a situation like this.

Are you okay? Violet asked.

I nodded, even though I was as far from okay as a person could be. That glass on the floor was less shattered than I was. Still, I didn't want to put a grey cloud over their happiness. That freshly in love feeling never lasts long enough anyway. I forced a smile onto my face and told them to leave. If Violet thought for a moment that I was not coping, she'd stick around to help out. That wasn't what I wanted at all.

Luckily, the bar provided a barrier between Holden and me. If my legs worked, I could skip out to the storeroom, even run up the stairs to the band room and escape. But my legs didn't move.

Violet and Razer lingered in the bar. I tried to smile at them so they’d think I was okay.

I sucked in a breath and held onto the bar to steady myself because, despite my fear and horror, every primal instinct in me screamed to run to him, jump into his arms and tackle him to the ground. I craved him like a crackhead craves his hit but crack would be a helluva lot better for my health than Holden King.

He made me react physically like no other man could. I hated that. Even when I wanted to slash his throat, he just had to touch me and I'd lose all sense. I didn't want to lose sense like that ever again. I wanted to be on steady ground.

Long time, no see. He gave a slight salute.

What the fuck? What the fucking fuck? He couldn't just waltz in here after all this time and give me a casual greeting like that. As though he'd just gone away for a few weeks’ vacation. As though he'd left on friendly terms.

The blood rushed to my head. I couldn't think, my brain was too busy fighting off all the hormones flying around my body. I moved out from behind the bar and walked toward him.

He smiled like his charm was enough for me to forgive all the hurts and misery he'd caused. It didn't. It didn't by a long shot.

When he saw the fire burning in my eyes, he stopped.

I paused in front of him and, without saying a word, swung my fist and smashed him in the face as hard as I could. Which was pretty fucking hard because I put my time in at the gym.

The world froze for a moment.

Oww, fuck, Carlie. Fuck. He rubbed his jaw.

I hoped it was broken. I hoped it ruined his looks