Ebook31 pages30 minutes
Immortals: Pendant of Power
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
2/5
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About this ebook
My bloodline has been nearly extinguished by the humans and the only way to restore my race is the pendant. My father went in in search of it, abandoning me. Now to restore my kind and find my father I'll have to continue his work.
Author
Brenton Bloch
I just want to give people an enjoyable story to read and do what I love.
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Reviews for Immortals
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
2/5
1 rating1 review
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I’m not sure why, but when I read the synopsis of this story, my first thought was “vampires”. Which was my whole reason for reading it, because I love vampires (the non-sparkly, irredeemably evil kind that are so rare these days).
Now that I re-read the synopsis, I see it doesn’t mention vampires at all. Oops. My bad. It’s just about a “generic” immortal on a quest to save his race.
It’s a nice concept. But truthfully, this story wasn’t ready for publication. It reads like a first draft. And not a great first draft, either; the “vomit-on-the-page” first draft that needs to be followed by at least another three before it’s fit to for consumption by anyone other than the author.
It’s missing commas, tense and person changes (switching from first- to third-person in the middle of paragraphs), things left unexplained... basically, it’s like an excited person relaying a story to you: “And then THIS happened. And then THAT happened. Ooh, ooh, and then THIS!”
What a pity. It could’ve been an amazing story if the author had just let it sit for a while before giving it a re-read.
Book preview
Immortals - Brenton Bloch
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