Different Directions: The Champagne Hurricane Trilogy - Book 2

By Tam Sturgeon

The Champagne Hurricane Trilogy - Book 2
Many things change with time and loss, but how is it possible to move on when you lose the will to live? Tee A. Manley has to move on, even though her reason for living is no longer gracing the world with his presence. There is a way, only one way in Tee’s mind. Okay, it takes her to some mad places, but, moving on sometimes does.
Friendships mature as time passes, new friends are found and held dear. Love finds a way to shine a little light on those that need it the most. Relationships blossom in the unlikeliest of places, the ending results quite amazing when you look at them.
Where will life take Tee now that Max is no longer the captain of her ship? What mad journeys will she encounter and with which crazy people? And who is that waiting in the musical wings looking slightly familiar somehow?
And, there, in the middle of the madness, that is the muso business, is Tee, still dreaming of Max, still moving forward, still having a life, and still loving it.
Health issues can have a lot to do with how life changes and evolves. When a near fatal incident shows Tee’s a different side to things she decides to reprioritize. Suddenly all the things that were a burden dissolve, leaving a slightly different mindset in a normally fragile frame.
Thinking life couldn’t get any more bizarre than it already was she’s to meet someone that will change her life in more ways than she could ever imagine. With that one person appearing, from what could have been a dream, Tee’s whole existence will start to make sense. There was a reason for her being, and this person is it.
So, as new members are added to the family circle, the Manley’s forge forward, Ea$y not such a distant memory. Is this the start of a great Manley Music Empire? Where will Tee turn now she has no Max to bounce against? Guess there’s only one way to find out!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tam Sturgeon
• Release date: Sep 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311370488

Tam Sturgeon

Writing History of Tam Sturgeon1970’sI find myself reciting poetry at middle school in Christmas Assemblies. Pam Ayres a particular favourite (and remembered to this day).1980’sI start writing poetry in Secondary School, after finding a poem in a Sunday Supplement. An emotionally charged home life gives me reason to lose myself when my mother is being all weird and shouty. Poetry takes me away from that. I find it comes easily and is prolific. I write various lyrics and silly ditties for birthdays and weddings.2003-2004I start my first novel, Champagne Hurricane, a rock and roll love story, whilst I’m having an emotional breakdown. The first in the line of my life changing events starts with my Father dying then my first husband leaving me, all within 18 months of each other. I’m awarded Runner-up in a Writer’s Forum Magazine Competition. I start Art College and use my poems as part of my finals. It earns me a Distinction. I find I have enough material to write my 1st and 2nd book of poetry.2004-2009The next three books of poetry are written, one after the other in quick concession. I then relocate to Somerset. The novel is put on the backburner, due to a demanding second husband which ends very badly for me.2010I relocate back to Bucks, finding myself with little to show for my time away. I return to my writing and the first novel, which is finished before the New Year.2011A massive near fatal heart attack in the March leaves me on the verge of another emotional breakdown. I start to write my second novel and take a very level headed look at my life. Being housebound pushes me back into writing once more, and two more volumes of poetry are poured out before the end of the year. A new novel is also started, a Werewolf and Vampire love story, which runs parallel with the second. Six others novels are also dabbled with, but soon fall by the wayside.2012I finish the second, and two more books of poetry are completed. A 10th volume of A-Z Pocket Poetry is then completed. The third novel, still in its infancy, is set aside as the rhythm of the ode becomes my favourite once more. I tell myself the poetry collection will end at volume thirteen.2013With the New Year comes more poetry, the 11th book, 12th, and 13th. Later that year my first novel is ePublished to Smashwords.com and is welcomed with open arms by the readers, gaining 10, 5 star reviews, at this time I also ePublish three volumes of poetry. There is also a 14th book of poetry written. Sadly, it was partly lost due to my hard drive burning out. Some is salvaged, but it remains nameless and unpublished, to this day.2014‘Champagne Hurricane’ continues to gather followers as the poetry collection grows. I spend time in Canada and write the 15th volume, which is then made ready for ePublishing. The 16th book of poetry is started and finished shortly after. Come the Christmas of 2014 I have started yet another novel. Champagne Hurricane is suddenly rendered a trilogy.2015As the storyboard for Book 2, Different Directions, slowly comes alive, more poetry is produced. Lyrics are dabbled with, yet again, and along the way several other projects are started, most of which are all put on the backburner as the novel becomes a constant time-filler. By the end of 2015 Book 2 is a finished novel, plus I have rewritten and renamed Book 1, now known as Never Forever, under The Champagne Hurricane Trilogy title.2016At the turn of the year the 17th volume is started and then finished come the end of spring. A break is taken to travel. Upon my return, things pick up where they left off. The 18th is started, along with the Book 3 in the trilogy, Between Favours. These run side by side and see me through another summer, both finished about the same time. I also start writing a fantasy novel relating to the myth of unicorns and why broomsticks can fly. I get half way and am distracted by the thought I am wasting my precious time with needless thing, i.e. all the stuff I’m cramming into my laptop on a daily basis. I stop writing for the rest of the year, frustrated with not knowing what to do with any of it.2017So, anyway, early in the year I unpublished one novel, due to its lack of interest. I delete it from my back-catalogue, permanently. The 18th volume is then completed before the summer and the 19th is started. With The Champagne Hurricane Trilogy complete, what to do next? I write my first Action Thriller, a Novella, and finish it in a little over six weeks. As the close of the year faces me, I am ousted from my job of three years for highlighting a Toxic Manager case. I am rendered jobless in the New Year, with huge debts and nowhere to turn.2018The first two months of the year are taken up with ill health and what is to become another trilogy. Rewritten for the Young Adult and Teen market, the now gruesome trio, are all based around the same random grisly event but set in different eras, trips from my fingers. This is shortly followed by another short story, which almost touches on Sci-Fi, and is also initially aimed at the Y/A &Teen market, though it could also be enjoyed by anyone into the genre. It is at this point I also finish the 19th Volume of poetry and start the 20th. I diversify yet again, writing my own lyrics to classical and mainstream music. Drawing from my own personal experiences, I compose forty plus alternative ways of wording them. Alongside this, I turn myself into a product and decide I have enough material to approach the Agents and Producers in both the literary and music business.Find me on:TwitterInstagramFacebookThank you

Book preview

Different Directions

Champagne Hurricane Trilogy

Book 2

Published by Tam Sturgeon at Smashwords

Copyright Tam Sturgeon 2018

This novel is entirely a work of fiction.

The names, characters and incidents portrayed within it are

the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to

actual persons, living or deceased, or any events

mentioned is entirely coincidental.

Tam Sturgeon asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work.

Cover imagery courtesy of the author.

Cover design by Tam Sturgeon.

Copyright Tam Sturgeon 2018

~

Different Directions

Part 1

We Ain’t So Bad

‘Boy, you’re so remind me of Max sometimes you drive me sodding crazy, Tee ... What is it with you? ... Well, was it a case of if it feels good, do it?’

Craig almost barked it across the wide spread of dark wood desk he stood behind, hands in his suit trouser pockets, face almost frozen to stone, his upper-class English accent as strong as ever. His eyes no longer held the smile he had greeted me with. They turned abruptly to the window he stood before, not witnessing my slow smirk, (yawn, boring), with his last burst of words.

‘... If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, this is not London, we are not in England, and you do not sign before I do ... That contract shouldn’t have even hit my desk ... What the hell were you thinking?’

A cold silence emanated from the other side. I held my breath, and my tongue. I saw this coming after the weeks of procrastination. Craig hadn’t moved fast enough for me so I took the helm and ran the sheets to full steam ahead. Sadly, he’d had just lifted his cutlass and slashed the wind from my sails. I was only slightly deflated though.

‘I hear ya, Craig, I do, and you’re probably right, there’s no prospect in an unheard of newbie company that hasn’t hit We’ve Made a Million.com ... So what if they have a zero rating ... Like we all know, it’s a real bitch at the bottom ... And we know this because we’ve all been down there, haven’t we? ... Yes, Craig, even you ... Remember, my darling ...?’

I knew this was a good feed, there was money to be made with this move, but Craig was just being an arse about it all.

‘... Look, I gotta get going, I’m supposed to be helping Winnie this afternoon, and I’m supposed to be there, ooh, about now ... So, please, reread the contract, again, and then speak to me later ...’

I rose as Craig turned towards me, his hands still in his pockets, but his eyes no longer to the fabulous view from the 18th floor of his Calgary office.

‘It won’t matter if I reread it now or in three weeks’ time, Tee, the company you want me to invest their money in is crap, and with a capital C ... I won’t do it ... I simply won’t part with their money, not for this, but thank you anyway, darling ...’

He held my gaze, that of the friend he’d come to love as a sister.

‘... Now, please, sod off ... Before I demote you to the Post Room,’ he grinned.

I was pulling on my leather bike jacket as I made my escape, lid hung over my wrist.

‘Yeah, well, if you’re gonna give up so easily, do yourself one favour ... Persuade that Scott Barber to bail on that lot and come over to our Think Tank ... That kid’s going places, Craig, and he’s as bright as hell ... Let’s get him on board with us, give him the Miami shoot, see how he copes ... Give him my office too, then a nice fat pay rise, and that should probably do it ... You won’t regret it ... Maybe he’ll make you, and them, some bloody money,’ I laughed as I headed out the door.

‘Good,’ Craig called after me, as I stalked off down the plush corridor, ‘maybe that’ll make up for the fact that you bloody well don’t then ... And ride carefully, will you... Though I know you won’t.’

‘Arh, Jesus, girls,’ Mike laughed loudly, ‘not again,’ was bawled up at us, his words almost lost to the cranked up music playing in his bar.

He dumped the crate of beers on the floor and, using his booted foot, pushed them towards Billy.

‘... Put them where they belong for me, will ya,’ he shouted to the young guy pouring shots from the bottles in both hands.

‘Sure thing, boss,’ was shouted back, his words just about heard.

McCall’s of Silver Spring, and my usual bar of choice most nights of the week, was heaving. Two of the younger girls from town, Bonnie and Natalie, and me were pretty much wasted and, by that time, dancing on the bar, Coyote Ugly style, singing and kicking it up a good one. Mike was used to it. Whenever I was home it nearly always ended like that. I’d show up, buy everyone a few rounds, and before you saw it coming, I’d be up there, gyrating my hips, my cowboy hat pulled down at the front.

The whole place was thumping with its country-rock party, amazing how that always happened when I showed my face, and that particular night was no exception. Mike didn’t mind, I didn’t mind, and the whole crowd didn’t mind. The punters spent money, I spent money, and then Mike’s crew were left to clear up the mess.

Over the course of the next hour or so, not much changed. I nearly fell off twice but was repositioned with the help of some guys sitting below where I did my thing, my laughter shared with those that helped. Empty glasses were kicked away as feet stepped one side to the other. My long dark hair swung around to the rock tunes that blared, my thumbs hooked in the front pockets of my tight boot-cut jeans, my hand occasionally coming up to catch the front of my hat.

As the rabble whittled down to the dregs, the pace slowed some. Eventually it was just the usual two faces, the music finally at a level so you could hear the person next to you speak. I was at the end of the bar by that time, head forward, resting on my crossed arms, singing along to the Ea$y track that was playing.

‘... Down, down, going down ...’

Mike walked the bar and stood before me. ‘Ya had enough, or will ya want one for the road?’

He was wiping the bar as he spoke, his eyes resting on my head.

‘One for the road, ya ask?’ was a pissed, muffled, response from beyond a waterfall of dark curls. ‘Well, ya better make mine a pint of Jack, please, my good man, and hold the ice ...’

My posh English accent had surfaced once again, followed by a laugh through the mass of chestnut mane.

Mike chuckled as he looked down at the talking hair.

‘Ya sure ya wouldn’t like a nice pint of black coffee instead there, Tee?’

He stopped his wiping and waited for an answer. When there wasn’t one he thought maybe I’d fallen asleep.

‘Tee ...’ He raised his voice, ‘TEE ...’

My head shot up, hair falling before my face, a curtain between me and the world outside.

‘... Yeah ... I’m ‘ere ... Who wants to know?’

My startled face appeared, my eyes shooting around the space before me. I wasn’t sheets but the whole galleon to the wind.

‘Honey,’ Mike tried again, ‘wouldn’t you prefer a coffee before ya go ... Instead of another drink? And how ya getting home, by the way ... Ya ain’t driving, that’s for sure?’

He smiled at the state I was in. My pale face somehow made my grey eyes brighter.

‘I’m walking,’ I grinned, then burped. ‘Ooh, sorry,’ I giggled. ‘And I fink I’ll have a coffee, please ... Ya gonna join me in one ... Ya know I hate drinking anyfin alone ...’

Mike turned to the coffee pot behind him. He’d already started making it as I sat trying to focus on my hands.

‘Ya ain’t walking home like that, ya can’t see five inches in front of ya face ... I’ll give ya a lift after we have this, okay,’ he chuckled over his shoulder, the coffee curling a lovely smell up and across the room.

My head dropped forward, my voice muffled once more.

‘... I mizz him, Mike ... I mizz him real bad ...’

Mike turned, placing his hands on the bar.

‘I know ya do, kid, we all do ... But you’ve had a good run tonight, don’t be down ... Ya doing real good ... He’d be so proud of how ya keep it all together, ya know ... Well, apart from tonight, maybe,’ he smiled.

‘Would he though? ... Would he really?’ my voice asked the space behind the hair.

My coffee mug landed before me on the bar.

‘Yeah, I think he would ...’

Mike’s voice sounded soft and understanding, he did care about me, we’d been friends for a while.

‘... Look, drink ya coffee and stop being such a damn misery ... Ya got the whole world just awaiting to see what Tee Manley has coming next ... Life’s for the living, girl, so get out there an live it ... That’s what Max woulda wanted ...’

I faced him again. He winked at me and my smile slowly reappeared.

‘That’s better,’ he grinned. ‘Hey, the Flames are playing in Calgary Thursday night. Ya wanna go catch some ice hockey? I think there’s a few of us going. I got a spare ticket if ya wanna join in ...’

My fingers curled around the mug before me, when my eyes finally focused on it.

‘A Flames game, huh! ... Well, I might just have to fink about that ...’ another burp followed my next sip, ‘... Oops, sorry again ...’

‘Girl, ya brain is gonna be banging a big old drum tomorrow morning, and that ain’t no lie,’ Mike chuckled. ‘Man, ya sure know how to sink ‘em ... My hat off to ya though, ya get this place up an moving with ya carrying on ... I just wish it didn’t cost me so many glasses ...’

‘Arh, quit ya moaning, put it on the tab, like ya usually do ... I ain’t gonna tell ya wife, Mike, it’s between you and me,’ I replied, trying to tap the side of my nose but missing the first time.

I managed it in the end, my eyes crossing so I could see myself do it.

‘Tee, I don’t care about the damn glasses and, as ya well know, I ain’t married and never have been.’

He finished his coffee, the mug slid to one side as he leant towards me.

‘... Now, finish up, will ya, please ... I gotta close up and get ya home without ya passing out or puking in my truck ... Ya think ya can do that for me?’

His soft brown eyes wrinkled from the smile he offered as I looked up at him.

‘Ya ain’t married? That just ain’t right, Mikey ... A lovely guy like you ... I’m amazed ... Any girl would be ‘appy to ‘ave ya ...’

I fell quiet for a second as the look on Mike’s face changed.

‘... Okay, okay, I’m drinking, I’m drinking ...’

‘Good,’ he said, patting the top of the bar as he wandered off. ‘Ya got five minutes while I lock up then weez outta here, girl ... Got it ...?’

He disappeared around back, his night nearly over.

‘Hey,’ I called, ‘if I wasn’t such a sodding misery, I’d give you a run for ya bloody money, Mike McCall ...’

‘Yeah, right,’ was a called reply from beyond the bar, as he switched off lights and locked his office door. ‘You wish, honey ... But I wouldn’t do it to ya, not tonight ... Ya won’t remember it in the morning, the state ya in, and, well ... That just ain’t right ...’

I sat alone in the quiet bar to finish my sweet, black coffee. I was the last one standing, yet again, well, nearly standing.

I smiled to myself, saying aloud, ‘I remember when Max said that to me once ...’

When Mike eventually returned, I was cheek down, out cold, away with the fairies, softly snoring.

That summer haze, the one that always makes the day heavy and hard to move, settled over the small town of Silver Spring, south west and some out of Calgary, Canada. July 5th was a stunning Saturday, one worth being up early for, one that held heat at 8:30 am. The grasses to the meadow beyond the flower filled backyard swayed to a tune sent on the whispering wind. A lazy chocolate Labrador dozed on a well-trimmed green lawn and all around was at peace.

I padded out into the fresh air, vest and shorts, Max’s old socks, coffee and a smoke, to look into that hazy light and then up to that acre wide blueness above.

‘Honey, thank you for another stunning day ... Wish you were here,’ I spoke aloud, a soft tone into a soft breeze.

Ziggy lifted his head with my words, but then went back to his sunny spot doze when silence fell across the lawn once more.

I’d padded over to my beloved swing seat with my cargo laden tray, the memories and moments with Max awash with every inch of my movements. In my head, he was already there waiting for me.

My morning was spent much the same way. A call from Stevie forewarning me of his arrival pushed me into showering and trying to wake up. Seems another night on the Jack had left me heavy-headed once again. Never mind, a long, hot dowsing would wash that all away.

The truck horn blaring down the drive, and Ziggy barking, his tail wagging happily, reiterated that which I already knew. Someone was a comin. I walked through the cool room and was at the door as they came waltzing towards me.

The dog greeted Stevie first. He, my beloved brother-in-law, as funny as ever, was pulling faces at JR over Chels’s shoulder, the baby’s sporadic chuckles carrying on the breeze. My, what a lovely little family they made. My heart warmed every time I saw that scene.

Erupting into smiles and laughter, I hurried to my friends and that bundle of joy in their midst.

‘Oh, my, God, it’s so lovely to see you guys ... Where’s my little man, there he is ...’ my hands were already deployed to take receipt of my beautiful chunk of nephew, ‘... Come to Aunt Tee ... How you doing my precious little hunk ...?’

The gooing miniature of a chubby Stevie was passed over, as arms entwined waists and kisses came from all directions, with dog at our heels saying hello, as they do.

‘How’s Ma, she good?’

I directed the question towards the infant before me, it was meant to be heard by both doting parents.

‘She’s doing real good, thanks for asking,’ Stevie replied, kissing my forehead as he hugged it to his lips.

Chelsea did almost the same from the other side of me, saying, ‘... Yeah, she says ya ain’t been up to see her lately ... Wanted to know why, of course,’ she finished for him.

In a sandwich of me and the infant between them, we were a weaving of love and laughter.

‘That’s good then ... And I was going to go up as soon as I had a few hours to myself ... Yes I was ... I was, you gorgeous baby ...’

I giggled to the one year old, sat on my tummy before me, the baby voice and loving smile enough to get JR to go all gooey and giggly, and then I just wanted to eat him.

‘Ya know I’m talking about Beth, don’t ya?’ I chuckled, this time looking over at Chels.

‘Yeah, I know,’ she giggled back, ‘but it could be said about this Momma too, ya know ...’

‘Yeah, I know,’ I smiled in reply, my eyes dropping for being reminded of my absence. ‘Oh, my, God ... And here you are ... Wow ...’

I kissed her cheek just as we took the first step on the porch. Standing on the top one I looked down at JR.

‘Take a good look, shorty,’ the word good dragged out to sound important, ‘because, one day, we are going to have a great time camping over there, and then building dens and tree houses in the woods over there ...’

The baby’s eyes were following every word I said, the look, those of an old soul. He burped, the sound making me chuckle.

‘That’s my boy,’ Stevie laughed as he ambled passed with the luggage. ‘True Manley style ... See! ... He’s catching on already ...’

We ladies tagged along behind, the baby going back to Momma, dog showing the way, me taking a case from Stevie so as to lead them up the stairs.

‘I’ve put you in the back room, as usual, the crib’s where it was ... Help yourselves to everything you need ... And, if you can’t find it by being nosey, ask ...’

My words died upon entering the lovely room, the dog instantly in, slumping into sun-trap number two. The double aspect windows let the light flood in, the voile catching on the warm breeze, the pastel shades and soft furnishings very simple but effective.

Laura Ashley, eat your pretty pastel heart out. It was a wonderful mix of light pallets and cosy corners. To read a book, or to write in peace, it was all within that space. Just bird song and breezes, that divine scent with the heat of the day, it was all part of the tranquil haven required by an aging hippy.

Chels’s smile was all teeth. ‘Wow, you’ve redecorated, it’s beautiful ... Stevie, looky at crib corner ...’

Her face turned to Stevie and back again. Where the crib had once stood, with walls the same as the others, now was something all of its own.

‘Oh,’ I grinned, ‘a surprise for JR ... His very own wonder wall ... A bit like yours in the kitchen at home, I guess ... Hope he likes it?’

I watched as they walked over to get a better look, the wall coming alive. An impressive mural met in the corner behind the new crib. This depicted a soft landscape running over the hills in the distance. Pale shades of summer and autumn graced skinny trees with cute birdies and bunnies below. The best came with the foreground crazy paving pathway. This was made up of all the pics I’d taken since Chels had her bump. All our family and friends, in different shades of attire, were on parade somewhere, a history of his lifetime they could add to over the years to come.

‘Jeez, I’m impressed, Tee,’ Stevie chuckled, looking at me, the smile the same as his brother’s.

‘Glad you like it ... Took me four days, start to finish ... Not bad for a first try, aye?’ I grinned back at him, my arms folding, the sunlight catching the twinkle in my eye.

‘Tee, it’s so lovely ... I, we love it,’ Chels almost whispered, turning to me with JR in her arms. He was asleep already.

‘Good ... Now get settled and I’ll see you in a bit,’ I whispered back, making my way to the door. ‘No rush, you know where everything is anyway,’ I smiled, and then was gone, Ziggy at my heels.

I stood rubbing the sleep from my eyes trying to focus on Stevie, as I smirked, ‘What did you say? ... I’m not sure I just heard you right, or maybe I’m still dreaming? Yeah, that’s it ... I’m still dreaming, right! ... Come on, I must be,’ I nearly laughed, but decided not to.

Stevie half turned from the work surface in the kitchen and passed Chelsea JR’s beaker. It was half full of baby juice. He was smiling as he moved.

‘Max has been given a lifetime achievement award and they want you to except it on his behalf ... Did ya hear me that time, sleepy head?’

I plonked down at the table next to JR in his highchair. He tried to palm his baby orange juice off on me. I took the bunny shaped beaker and sucked a little from it. A funny face followed suggesting it wasn’t the best juice in the world, or laced with Vodka. The baby giggled and reached out to get it back.

Passing it over to him I smiled, ‘Well, young man, looks like your Aunt has another one of them highfalutin do’s to go to ... What should one wear, ripped jeans and your Uncle Max’s iconic Up Yours t-shirt?’ I said it in a posh English accent making the baby laugh.

Chels was sat giggling along with her young son.

‘So ... I’ll tell the powers that be you’ll be there then,’ Stevie smirked as he sat next to her and slung an arm around her shoulders.

Still keeping up the silly accent I chuckled, ‘Oh, of course one will be there ... One wouldn’t miss this for the world ...’ I looked at JR and smiled. ‘Well, Uncle Max the music man strikes again, aye!’

The light suddenly dropped from my eyes as they swerved to look at Stevie, the accent also dropping from my voice.

‘... Is it because he’s been dead for nearly a year and they feel they should show some appreciation for all the bloody money he’s still making them?’ I spat, my words sounding harsh and with an edge to them, they were meant to.

‘Whoa, little lady, where the hell did that come from?’ Stevie bounced back, as his eyes shot to my face, Chels’s following suit.

I stood from the table and, taking my mug of coffee, turned and hurried to the backdoor in silence. Slamming through it, I disappeared into the garden heading for my swing-seat, all fun having suddenly been lost from within me.

Sitting down I closed my eyes to the world around me, trying to block out birdsong and breeze. It didn’t work. I could feel them on the rise, the hot tears that I kept so well hidden every day. What did those pompous gits know about Max really? Did they love him as I had? Where they there to hold my hand the night I stood and watched him vacate my world, all broken and torn to pieces? Did they relive that every day of their lives, over and over? No, because they weren’t there, I was.

With my mug abandoned beside me, my hands came up to cover my face. Ziggy moved from his spot in the sun and ambled over to rest his muzzle in my lap. One hand dropped to his silky ears, the warmth of him already a comfort.

I could almost hear Max as if he were sat next to me.

‘Honey, please don’t cry ... I’m still here, sweetheart, I ain’t never left ya ... I’m right here ... I’ll always be here by your side.’

‘Oh, Max ... I wish you were still here,’ was said through the hot tears I wasn’t able to hold back any longer.

Without me even knowing Stevie took the seat once filled by Max.

‘... Honey, you okay?’

My face slowly moved to look at my sad friend, my tears escaping as free as the rain.

‘I know a lot of things, Stevie, but it still amazes me how Max can linger in his wonderful world of music ...’

I dragged my sob back from the edge, the swallow, one of broken hearts and missed kisses.

‘I know he’s gone ... I live with his loss everyday ... I really try to be fine about it, but I hate waking up and him not being there ... I still do it, hold my breath and squeeze my eyes closed, tight, wishing he’ll be there when I open them again ... But he never is, Stevie, he never is ...’

Stevie let me talk, his own sorrow reflected on his face.

‘... I’d give anything, everything, to have him back, you know that ...’

I abruptly turned away, but my words were not yet finished with.

‘... I don’t want their stupid award, Stevie ... I want Max ...’

My tears came as if a cascade, falling for all to see.

Stevie’s hand slid up and down my back as he leant against my shaking frame. His words held a sad note, one easily heard.

‘I can’t imagine how it is for ya everyday of ya life. I saw the way ya loved that stupid brother of mine, and it was a thing of beauty most days. Ya held on with everything ya had to make him one of the luckiest sons-a-bitches I ever did see,’ he chuckled. ‘It amazed me how ya forgave him his weaknesses, how ya never faltered when he crash landed on his face again, and how ya could bring him back from his own personal hell ... Ya amazed me then ... And ya amaze me now ...’

He leant his head against mine as I turned and curled into him.

‘I know ya hurting, Tee, we’re all hurting still, but for all that, I think ya should do this ... Go show them there assholes ya made of something they ain’t never seen before ... You stand up there, on that stage, and ya take that award, and ya shine like Max himself ... We’d be so proud of ya, honey ... I know Max would be ... Do it for him and for yourself ... No one else really matters now, do they?’

When I looked up at Stevie’s face his tears were showing too, but his smiling eyes were all I really needed to see. There, in those baby blues, misty from a loss only a sibling could ever feel, sat the one man I wished was with me then. There, looking down at me, his face alight with the truth of the matter was Max. They were Max’s eyes, and that was Max’s smile.

I knew my brother-in-law was right. He was always right, and I knew that too. If I could stand there, in front of all those people, if I could do that, then maybe, just maybe, I’d feel Max there with me too, holding my hand even.

‘Okay, we can do this ... But you guys have to come with me, I won’t go alone ... I want Ea$y along too, on that stage, right there ... It’s got to be part of the deal ...’

My wet face looked up at my best friend, a smile trying to break through as if it were the sun on a cloudy day.

‘If that’s what ya want, then that’s what ya get ... We’ll be right there with ya, every step of the way,’ he smiled back at me. ‘Now, where’s my breakfast, woman? ... I’m so hungry, I could eat that fat dawg of yours,’ he laughed.

And with that, the sun came out to evaporate all my sadness, and the birdsong and breeze played a tune all of their own.

~

The days rolled by leading up to the CMA Awards. I received my gold embossed invitation to accept the Golden Dove on behalf of Max. My reply was returned as it should be. Yet again House of Rachael were commissioned to make my gown, floor length and in a beautiful light velvet, the colour of a full bodied claret wine. The front cross-over bust flowed up to off the shoulders, a simple low back with a hint of a bustle and a little train behind. To the front, a few rhinestones in the shape of a heart hovered to one side. They sparkled as I moved, catching the eye, holding it there. They were in memory of Max.

Walking the house at Silver Spring, my beloved wedding present from him, I would sit and hear him playing his acoustic, downstairs, under the apple tree, sat on our swinging seat. I’d wanted us to grow old there, but all I had was Ziggy, my silly dog. Max would have loved him. I could see them missing for hours walking the meadows at the lodge, or taking a trip over to McCall’s, or wandering up to see Walt and Gina.

So much was to be missed, so much love, so many kisses in the sun. All gone, lost to the breeze that should be tussling his long, golden curls. Somehow, even though my heart was so heavy most days, something was alive to make me smile. A missed moment, a sentence in a song, they all held me there, keeping my love as fresh as the day he’d said hello.

Ziggy was asleep in the garden. The sun had brought my songbirds back around me, the winter having been a long one that year. The snows were melted and had washed my little piece of heaven clean. My magnolia was in full bloom and the maples were dressed in the greens I loved so much. The cherry trees were alive too, a profusion of blossom along with the apple orchard. Max so loved that time of year.

Ambling through the house and into the garden, I recalled when I told him of the baby we were expecting, his face had been a picture, the first snows had just fallen. My smile held there a moment but then was gone with the loss of such a precious thing. Our little boy would have been the same age as JR, but with just a few weeks between them. Even that was not meant to be.

I’d just sat on the back steps when the phone started to ring. Wandering into the kitchen I picked it up.

It was Stevie.

‘Hey, bright-eyes ... How’s my girl doing today? ... What’s cooking, momma ...?’

‘Hey, you ... I’m good, and not much, just hanging out ... How’s you and the crazy clan? All cool?’ I enquired.

‘Yep, they is as beautiful as a spring morning, and as noisy as a bunch of blue jays ... It’s just a quick call to tell ya the plans have been made for this here extravaganza ... We’ll all be staying at the Fairmont Hotel ... I’ve rented the Penthouse for the duration, if that’s okay with you, of course?’

‘Yeah, Stevie, that’s fine ... We’re all in together then?’ I asked.

‘We sure are, little lady ... And ya have the suite overlooking the city, cuz I know ya like a view.’

He paused as a voice was heard in the background.

‘Sorry there ... JR is trying to make Cully eat his slippers, cuz he don’t like ‘em much,’ he chuckled. ‘Kids, huh ...’

‘Yeah, bless him ... And is Cully helping him, or is he not interested in anything that doesn’t taste like dog biscuits?’ I giggled.

‘Urh, the dog has taken one away already ... I think he buried it in JR’s sandpit, along with Chels’s hairbrush, she ain’t seen it for nearly a week now,’ he laughed. ‘Anyways, we’ll be leaving early Saturday morning ... It kicks off at about six thirty Saturday evening ... Does that give ya enough time, or ya wanna drive over Friday night instead? ... It’s up to you ... Us guys are pretty cool, but I know how you ladies like some time to get ya shit together ...’

I thought about the timeline and tried to calculate what I’d need to get ready.

‘Urh, nah, that works for me ... All I gotta do is my hair, once we’re there I’ll change, and then I’m ready to roll ... Have you booked cars to and from the venue?’

‘Yep, all done ... It’s limos all the way, baby girl ... Urh, look, I gotta go ... JR is trying to eat Cully’s tail ... I don’t mind so much but Chels’ll have a vapour lock if she walks in and sees his face covered in mutt fur ... Ya wanna stay here the night before we leave, by the way? ... Then we can go straight up and meet the guys there ...’

‘Yeah, sounds like a plan ... I’ll see you Friday night, okay ... Go rescue the poor mutt before JR eats him ... I’ll see you later ... Go,’ I laughed.

‘Okay ... See ya Friday evening ... Bye ...’

I sat and imagined JR’s little face crammed full of a Labrador, its tail just poking out of his mouth, JR looking very impressed with himself. The smile carried me back into my garden, the one that was meant to be shared with Max.

Looking up at the sky I chuckled aloud, as I was known to do, ‘Max, your family is completely bonkers ... How did you put up with them for so long?’

The days grew long as the nights grew warmer. The sunrises were spectacular and the sunsets the colour of jewels. The mountains, off to the west, showed little to no snow capping them, a sure sign summer was on everybody’s heals. The spring in Alberta never seems to last long, it’s there for what seems like a few weeks and then you’re touching on summer and you haven’t even noticed. There’s no chill to the breeze and, come midmorning, the sun is carrying some heat and you’re strutting through your day with glorious warmth to your face.

Friday was a quiet one. I spent the morning with my friend, Winnie, we sat and talked in her small courtyard garden drinking Earl Grey and waiting for her shop bell to ring. It didn’t, not in the three hours we exchanged our gossip.

Ziggy was happy in his sunny corner, asleep on his back with his feet in the air. Winnie had force-fed him some doggie biscuits with his saucer of tea. He didn’t refuse, if anything he’d succumbed to the devilish treat, as hard as it was. He was lost in his own little world chasing bunnies or mice, his feet and face twitching with the effort of it.

‘... Anyway ... Billy Mae ain’t gonna take no backchat from that ole toothless has-been who calls himself a Vet ... She knows she’s right about them ticks an flees ... She’ll deal with it her own way, just ya wait and see, and like she always does too ... It’s about time that ole coot retired, anyways ... He can’t see much further than his wrinkly ole nose, anyhoo,’ Winnie laughed.

I sat beaming all over my face. I had no idea what Winnie was talking about, but it sure sounded funny, nonetheless.

‘So,’ Winnie asked, ‘ya all ready for ya big debut tomorrow? I hear it’s gonna be televised and I’m so excited that I’ll be able to switch on to see ya ... Everyone in town’s been talking about it ... We’re gonna be seeing ya on the TV screen, as big as life, how exciting ... I hear Mike McCall’s got his projector thingy ready so they can watch it down at his place ... Walt and Gina are gonna mosey on up there too ... Their son, Tommy, he’s gonna record it so he can hand out copies ... Are ya excited yet? Ya kinda don’t look it right now ... That’s probably just nerves, of course ... Well, are ya?’

I looked at her with a smile on my face.

‘Well, I am ready ... Dress is in the wrap, bag is packed ... I’m going to Stevie’s from here, as you know, as Numb Nuts is staying with you, and I’m calm, at this moment ... Just hope my legs don’t give out on me as I walk towards that bloody podium,’ I chuckled.

Winnie smiled her sweet little smile as she patted my hand.

Honey, ya’ll be just fine ... You’ve done it a hundred times with Max and the boys already ... How many times ya been in one of them posh magazines with him all happy about ya lovely home and the life ya had, huh?’

‘Winnie, it was about him, Max, and that was fine, I can assure you ... All I had to do was turn up in a posh frock, do some smiling and nod my head a bit ... Now, it’s me in the limelight, and I still think maybe Stevie should be doing this ... I can sit at the table and watch from afar then ... Somehow, I like that idea better ...’

As I spoke, my eyes travelled the courtyard around us. They came back to rest on Winnie, as I finished, who was still smiling at me.

‘Tee, honey, sometimes ya gotta do things for other people that ya don’t wanna do ... This is for Max, it’s about Max ... I know there’s more to it than ya care to admit.’ Winnie’s eyes softened. ‘It’s only natural to be nervous ... Hell, I’d be just as nervous as a pile a vipers ... But, if ya don’t do this, just cuz ya miss him so much, I think you’ll regret it someday, and I’d hate to see that ... Now, finish ya tea, it’s getting cold,’ she grinned, patting my hand once more.

I ambled back along Main Street, taking the turning by the bookshop and revelling at the lovely afternoon. The sun was on its decline as I passed Walt and Gina’s house, the old John Deere tractor parked out front as usual, a sure sign Walt had been running errands.

The grasses swayed in the light breeze, the sun giving the fields a golden glow, the scent of the warm grasses awash through the clean air. Birds dipped and called, their song enough to make smiles last. I recalled a couple’s first walk down that dusty old road. He’d been so worried about the paparazzi waiting for them at the bookshop corner. She’d laughed aloud as she’d pulled seed heads from its stalk and scattered them into the road.

Walking up my pathway it all seemed an age ago. I tried to remember the last time Max had graced my funny little house with his presence. Suddenly it was there, a flash of daytime lightening. It was the night I lost him to that horrible bend. I stopped and looked at the home I’d made for myself. As much as I loved the lodge and longed to be there sometimes, Silver Spring was to be my home, there was no going back.

The warm silence greeted my footsteps across the comfortable rooms, my kitchen, my lounge, and all the spaces I loved. There still wasn’t a studio/office there, I didn’t want one, I liked going to my retreat near the lodge to work. I could be near Max there. We could be alone, together.

Climbing the stairs to my attic bedroom, the voile lifted in the soft breeze, the scent of my herbs and flowers carrying through the open windows. Peace rained down in every inch of that space, soft, shadowy peace, full of warmth and lingering love. A place like no other found.

Most of my packing had been done already. Ziggy had watched me from his cushion by the window. It looked empty without his chunky chocolate body, as if the cushion was too big, its owner off having time away with a friend.

Taking one last look around the room I knew I had everything covered. The gown wrapped, shoes in my luggage, I was ready to roll. After closing my case I closed the windows, the voile becoming motionless, if only for a few days.

Once my bags stood by the front door, I did my final checks to make sure all was secure. Tidy and clean stood my kitchen, the backdoor locked, all windows the same. Taking a look around my favourite room, I smiled at the sounds of laughter. Many lovely moments had been spent sleeping in front of that open fire. A battle, first with Max and then with the dog, just to get the best spot. I never won.

I was ready to go but, it didn’t matter how often or for how long I was gone, it always felt as if I were walking away from an old friend, my lovely home, my funny little house.

I would be driving myself over to Stevie and Chels’s as soon as the car was loaded. No driver was required for this leg of the journey. Stuffing my luggage into my black Camaro I climbed into the warm leather seat. With a flick of the ignition it purred into life, a sound I never tired of. I loved that car nearly as much as I loved the people around me and, of course, Max, plus that silly dog I sometimes called Numb Nuts after him, then my horses, the list went on.

Out onto Main Street, I turned, to head north to the highway. From there it was a long boring drive up to Stevie’s ranch outside Rowley, which I had lovingly re-named Manley Mile. The journey always made me smile. As with the lodge, when I first visited Alberta I missed most of it as I slept my way there. That day it was different. With my Ea$y album, In So Many Ways, booming out their bassy tracks I wasn’t so alone, not really. Max was there in that car singing his heart out to me, every song known, and every song cherished.

As I hit the last stretch, the track he’d written for me, Can’t Stay Away, came over the stereo. I could see him sitting in the studio singing it to me, his lovely face and his lovely voice, how we’d lost that afternoon. Loving Max had been easy, I laughed at my own pun, his features hovering just where I couldn’t touch them.

There wasn’t sadness, just a need, a want. That never changed, it was there as though it were a torn seam through my soul, never to be mended. The smile that lifted my lips was made by him, it grew for him, it was all for him.

‘... Never stop haunting me, baby ... I couldn’t live without you on the side-lines ... My life wouldn’t be the same ... You keep the sun in my sky even when it’s raining,’ I thought to myself as I reached Manley Mile gates and passed through them.

Stevie met me in the front yard. ‘... Yoh, sis! Good drive up ...?’

JR was in his arms and looked ready for bed, his little face washed out. As soon as the infant saw his Aunt his arms were extended towards me. As I grew closer my luggage was swapped for a baby.

‘Hi ya, little man, there’s a tired little face.’ I kissed his forehead as he came into my clutches. ‘The drive was as ever, all quiet on the western front, as usual,’ I replied to Stevie.

We walked to the house, JR nearly asleep as we reached the warm and airy kitchen. Chels was reading the paper as we entered.

‘Thought that was you ... Don’t know another car that sounds that sweet, apart from mine, of course,’ she smiled as we kissed around the sleepy little tot. ‘Here, I’ll take him up to bed, the little lamb is almost out cold in his jimjams ... He was waiting for you to get here, bless him,’ she commented.

I slowly passed over the sleepy mite and Chels headed off to the nursery, Cully the mutt in tow.

Stevie placed my luggage by the door ready for our early morning and ambled over to pour us both a Jack.

‘All ready for tomorrow? Got everything ya need?’ Stevie asked, as the liquor chinked ice in glasses.

‘Yeah, think I covered everything,’ I replied, quickly going through the list in my head. ‘I’ve been informed the whole of Silver Spring will be watching tomorrow’s event. I saw Winnie earlier today, she has Ziggy till we get back ... Remind me to be on my best behaviour, please, or I’ll never live it down ...’

‘Ha, ya got some tall order there then,’ Stevie laughed. ‘But I’ll make sure ya don’t fall off the damn stage after shooting tequila,’ he smiled, joining me with our drinks.

I laughed at the thought.

‘Ha, sounds about right ... You all packed and ready to go too, then?’ I asked after taking a swig from my glass, the liquid burning my gums just the way I liked it.

‘Yep, limo will be here early so it’s up and at ‘em first thing ... The guys are meeting us at the hotel. Dan’s staying at Jake’s tonight which makes things easier their end ... The paperwork and VIP passes are in my hand luggage ... And I think that’s it, all done and ready to rock and roll, little sister ...’

Stevie sat down on the bar stool by the island, his drink disappearing fast.

‘Chels put ya in ya usual room down the hall ... Unless ya want to sleep in the one next door ... We’ll understand if ya do,’ he smiled.

‘Nah, usual room is good ... Is there still a dent in the wall from my shoe hitting it?’

‘Urh, yeah, it’s still there, just to remind ya of Chels’s crazy birthday ... Man, I thought ya were gonna spurt sparks out the top of ya head that night ... I ain’t never seen a chick trip out like that before,’ he laughed before emptying his glass.

‘Yeah, well, that won’t ever be happening again and was definitely a one off ... Can you remember Max’s face after that slap I gave him, he didn’t see that one coming, did he?’ I replied as I drained my glass.

Stevie refilled them both as he spoke. ‘Man, I thought he was gonna go orbital ... It started crazy and went uphill from there ... I loved it,’ he laughed.

‘Didn’t it just,’ I chuckled. ‘How did you put it, in true Manley style?’

‘Yeah, funny ain’t it, something monumental always happens at a gig we do ... Here’s hoping nothing outta the ordinary happens tomorrow night, fingers crossed ...’

A few more sips were consigned to his waiting mouth with that toast, the glass rendered half full.

‘God, don’t say that, I can see it now ... Me tripping over my panties as your trousers fall down. Wouldn’t that give old Silver Spring something to laugh about? Winnie would explode ... We’d never hear the end of it,’ I laughed, my drink disappearing just as quickly as Stevie’s.

He had an idea.

‘... Well, if ya don’t wear panties and I wear braces, we should be okay, right?’

‘Oh, yeah, that works for me ... And if anything befalls Dan and Jake we can just point and laugh our bloody heads off ...’

‘Hell, yeah ... Cheers, little sister ... Here’s to a night of revelling and living it up in true Manley style,’ he toasted, my glass clinking against his once again.

~

As I stalked towards the stage On the Bridge belted out over the clapping and cheers. I smiled. It was them, playing his music and singing my lyrics, nice choice. With the guys following close behind, Stevie’s fingers slid around mine and gently squeezed. I was so nervous I could feel a cold rush cutting across the room to move my braided hair a little. Dan and Jake were at the steps to help me up and, before I knew it, I was stood before a podium looking out over hundreds of faces that smiled as hands clapped.

As the track faded, the Chairman of The Canadian Music Association moved forward and handed me a large golden spiral. It was sat on a block of maple wood, the weight of it taking me by surprise. Our hands connected to shake before we parted, the lads behind me stepping forward to take their turn.

I smiled my thanks then passed the award to Stevie, so he could hold it while I made my little speech. Wiping a tear from my cheek, I waited for the clapping to die down a little before I started my words.

‘... Thank you,’ I spoke into the mike, nodding in all directions, ‘thank you ... Hello everyone, you’re all looking very nice, aren’t you?’ I nervously giggled, the sea of faces smiling and chuckling with me. ‘Well, on behalf of Max and, of course, the members of Ea$y,’ I turned to the guys stood behind me, ‘I’d just like to say a big thank you and, of course, a few words ...’

The vast space grew quiet enough to hear the odd cough, the faces turned my way as they intently listened and watched. I tried not to think about them all, and the other million faces watching around the world, plus those in Silver Spring glued to the projector at Mike’s place.

‘We all know that Max made music his life ... It was his baby, one he’d loved since the first time he picked up the guitar his Dad had given him as a kid. He worked hard, played hard but, through it all, he knew how to make something very special from using the tools he was lucky enough to own, which were his instruments, his use of lyrics and his magical voice ...’

Another tear was wiped away.

‘Max always said he was one of the fortunate to be seen that day, whilst playing in the old bowling alley in town. A tall, skinny, young kid, with hair all over the place, had what it took to make a mark on an industry that would come to love him, his band, and the music he was to write and produce ... And I guess the rest of the world can’t be wrong about that either, can it?’ I chuckled.

‘Well, we all feel his loss, mine on a different scale to most, and that loss will leave a gaping hole which may never be filled again ... But, Max left a legacy, one that will be seen for years to come, as more young musicians follow behind a master of his own making. We all have our own memories, some better than others,’ I smiled, ‘but, we’ve been lucky enough to be touched by the presence of a person, the likes of which this world had never seen before. Max Manley was a king in his field and I, myself, hope that, for years to come, you will all show those who are to follow in his footsteps, the encouragement, the love, and the passion that you showed not only him but, also, the band known as Ea$y ... And to leave you with something Max loved to say on a regular basis ... You only live it once and you’re a long time dead ... So, live it like you love it ... Thank you.’

First there were a few, then the whole room erupted into applauds and shouts the likes of which the guys and I had never heard before. Table upon table of guests stood, their hands a blur before their eyes. I wiped yet another stray droplet away as I stepped from the podium to be shown from the stage, the guys behind me. As we left Ea$y’s Take Me Home played over the noise, Max’s voice filling my ears.

Dan came up alongside, his hand to my waist as he wiped wet from his own cheek.

‘Wow, I don’t think anyone could have said it better than that, Tee, I know I couldn’t have ... That was awesome, well done ...’

‘Thanks, Dan, glad you approved,’ I smiled.

Stevie appeared at my other side, the golden spiral clenched in one hand.

‘Jesus, girl, was that spur of the moment or did ya memorise it all? Colour me impressed,’ he smiled.

‘Nah, just said what I thought was right at the time ... By the look on your faces though, I did something right,’ I smiled back, tears almost gone.

‘Something right,’ Jake chuckled. ‘Ha, ya had ‘em nearly crying in their beers, Tee. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bunch of people have that same look on their faces before ... Jeez ...’

I stopped and turned to face the guys.

‘Look, if only one of them takes away what I just said and does something good with it, then I’m happy ... Do ya think Max was cool with what I just said out there?’

Stevie smiled, along with Dan and Jake, placing his hand on my upper arm.

‘Sis, I think Max is a very proud man right now ... I know if ya ever say stuff like that about me when I’m gone, I’ll be clapping up there in those damn clouds myself ... Man, that was way beyond the call a duty, my little darlin ... Ooh-we, pat yaself on the back for that one.’

Siding up to me, Stevie