Discovery Journals: Discovery Series, #1

By JM Nash

Liam Nixon Anderson (Nix) grew up across the field from Ansley Jane Stewart. Best friends from childhood they made a pact to stay best friends no matter where the road of life takes them.

After high school, Nix makes the hard decision to leave the small town they grew up in and move to Southern California to pursue his passion in Business and Marketing. As he grows and makes new friends, he discovers life is full of surprises and often takes you on a journey you never expected.

Ansley Jane stayed behind to pursue her own dreams through the local college, meeting and marrying Jase Holden.  She wanted life to be perfect.... but she soon realized that it wasn’t.  Jase wasn’t the man who she thought he was and she soon starts to reevaluate her life .She soon discovers in order to find happiness for herself she has to discover what is truly important

Nix and Ansley take you on a journey about finding themselves, finding love, and how to let go of the past. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: JM Nash
• Release date: Jul 29, 2015
• ISBN: 9781516322770

Book preview

Acknowledgments:

Cover Design: Cover It Up Designs

https://www.facebook.com/coveritupdesigns

Editor: Rory (Lori) Ross of Feather and Ink Editing

Rock Hill, South Carolina

[e-mail]

R Gray Photography

www.rgrayphotography.com

Charlotte, North Carolina

K.P. Photography

https://www.facebook.com/pages/KP-Photography/1027454653934268

San Francisco, California

Dedications 

First off I just have to say what an incredible journey this has been. It’s been a year since I hit publish for the first time and this project began.

This journey wouldn’t be as exciting without the help of several wonderful people who I am so glad to call my friends.

Rory (Lori), yes you are my editor, but also a dear friend. Thank you for believing in me when I don’t believe in myself. Love you woman!

Dennie Deep and Kath Peterson... what can I say thank you for believing in Nix and Ansley and me. If not for you it may still be in holding area. LOL.  You ladies truly rock. Dennie, thank you for your incredible friendship. Kath, Thank you for your friendship and your ability to take pics and come up with some incredible pictures. I love you both.

Ebony McMillian... Thank you for taking a chance on an unknown author.  Thank you for your friendship! Love you!

Kylie Sharp...Thank you for friendship. Just like Lori... you loved Nix before Nix was even really out there. Love you!

Lynessa James for your friendship and letting me borrow Jase for just a while. Thank you. Love you!

Last but not least, my readers. Without you I would have never started Nix and Ansley.  Thank you for your love and support. I wouldn’t be here without you!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY!!!!

Disclaimer

The journals have been written as if they were actually written by two people. THERE are errors, strike outs and mistakes. We did fix major things, but there are smaller issues.

Chapter 1

Fall 2004

Senior year

September 1st

Ansley

First day of hell. I hope my senior year flies by, and then maybe I won’t have to deal with these mean people ever again. Thank God I have three classes with Nix...I know he'll make them bearable.

Brandon Macaroy is in PE with me. Heaven help me. I may get hit in the head a few times. Captain of the football team. Not that he would ever look in my direction. No one ever does. I haven’t even been kissed. Well technically I have, I just haven’t been kissed. Nix laughs at me and tells me anytime I want to kiss him I can. EWWWW gross!!!! He’s nuts I swear.  He has made high school interesting to say the least.

During the Summer he grew a freking freaking foot, all arms and legs. I used to be able to stand on my tip toes and kiss his cheek goodnight, but now it’s like he has to bend over. He has filled out quite a bit. Still dorky as hell though. Now he says he's all  dick, but I'm not going to touch that with a ten foot pole.

Good night silly world.

September 3rd

Nix

I'm glad Ansley came over to hang out, I'm fucking bored. She ended up watching movies while I slept though. I don't want to tell her I'll be moving away for college...I'm going to miss her but I need some adventure in my life. Now I need to figure out how to get rid of this damn hard-on....so ready to fuck anyone at this point.  I have to say that some of these chicks have really grown into their bodies this year...even the ugly ones are looking hot.....damn dick!

September 9th

Ansley

I have come to the realization high school just plain sucks! I hate this place. Mr. Shiver is a jerk correction an asshole. If my mom only knew how I really talked she would be appalled. She says a lady doesn’t use such language. But my brothers can do whatever the hell they want! What gives? Who knows, I think mom dreaded me from the word go. 

BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! That is the way I feel at the moment. I got teamed up with Captain Football and what a dipshit! Yeah, he’s great at football, but I really think he has been dropped on his head a time or two!

September 10th

Nix

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK!!  All I damn near think about is pussy. It's hard to concentrate in class without looking around at how short the skirts are and what is underneath.  How embarrassing to get called on in class and you haven't been paying attention. I would have thought I'd have the girls crawling all over me with how much I changed over the summer. I need to get rid of these damn glasses and the metal braces in my mouth. I'm still a fucking geek.

September 22nd

Ansley

If I have to hear one more time how much Nix has changed I may scream down the damn building. Don’t I know it? I saw the pecker head every day of summer.  What is it, he grows a foot and now these stupid girls want to know more? Bitches never talked to me before. Don’t get all buddy buddy with me just because you want to know more about my best friend. It doesn’t work that way. Why do I have a bad feeling this Nix is going to change? And I don’t mean in a good way.

Captain football caught me after class.....why? Because he wants me to tutor him. Really?? What about miss cheerleader, can’t she help your stupid ass!!! Ugh! Boys don’t look at me at all. Maybe if I didn't act like such a boy, then maybe. But why do I want to be so girly anyway? I will never understand. I'd rather get my fingernails dirty than play dress up with clothes.

September 24th

Nix

FUCK! I caught sight of Amber’s tits in gym. I nearly nutted right there. I really need to get this shit under control. Jacking off is really getting old....I need to find a chick to bang.  That's my homework now....

September 26th

Ansley

I swear if anyone else asks me if I am going to the dance with Nix I may kill someone. I don’t dance. I don’t do dances. Just the popular assholes go.  So when I say no, they act like I gave them a freaking gift. Fight over him I don’t care. He is just Nix.  Six foot three something Nix, but still my Nix.

Mom asked me if I needed to go shopping for a dress for the dance. When I said I am not going she seemed to get upset. Sorry mom!!

September 28th

Nix

I fucking whacked my head against the shower door. Don’t fucking ask! FML!  My goal, should I choose to accept it is to bang Amber after the dance.  Accept? Fuck yeah I accept!!  Maybe this dance will put me on the chick magnet map.

September 29th

Ansley

OMG! Can’t Nix ever shut up! I mean really! I don’t care if he finally got laid. I hate Amber. She is the one who made fun of me last year for not starting my period until high school. Fuck that stupid health teacher for making us talk about our personal shit!  Amber, the stupid bitch, asked, passed me by and said I bet you never even saw a dick before, huh? She even made fun of Nix and now he is fucking her. Fuck him. I am so pissed at him. He is changing and I don’t like it.

September 30th

Nix

Life couldn't be better! I finally got some pussy from Amber after the dance. Shit, she's got some sweet ass tits, and that pussy, I want to be buried there!  I'm gonna hit that repeatedly. 

Can't figure out why Ansley isn't talking to me. Oh well, she'll come around eventually. Maybe she needs to get laid...that shit makes you feel relaxed. She's been so damned uptight lately.

October 1st

Ansley

I don’t know what to do. Nix is distancing himself from me. What the fuck did I do? If it is Amber I am going to kick her ass. I mean really. I ask to see his fucking ass for a few hours on Saturday morning.  He said he had a running date. WHAT THE HELL!!! Really. I hope Amber gives his stupid ass the clap! Not really but I am pissed at him.

October 3rd

Nix

I pissed Ansley off. Oh well. I don't know what her problem is.  She's gotten boring lately. So I gave her a line about having a running date Saturday morning.  Amber though.... Amber wants to fuck all the time. Running date my ass, more like let’s fuck in the hay barn. Every morning before school.....that’s what I'm fucking talking about. Life Rocks!

October 4th

Ansley

Nix crawled in my window for the first time since the summer. Drunk and broken hearted. How do I console him, I mean really? Right now he is passed out on my floor drunk and it doesn’t help the fact that now I get to stay up and watch his stupid drunk self so that he doesn't puke on my floor. Thank God mom and dad went out of town for the weekend. They would just flip their lids if they knew Nix showed up drunk at my house.  Adin, Adam, and Andrew just shook their heads when I asked them for help.  They said Nix was my problem. Lotta good they are. If this would have been six months ago I could have easily moved him around, but now there is no way in hell I can.

October 6th

Nix

That cunt Amber fucked me over...caught her banging a guy from the football team last night. I crawled through Ansley's window drunk off my ass. I needed my best friend and knew she'd be home. She should have kicked my ass to the curb. God I can’t believe I fucking puked on her carpet. She was passed out cold when I snuck out of her room this morning. I don’t know if she will even talk to me. Fuck Amber. Fucking cuntbag. I need to figure out how to make it right with Ansley again.

October 12th

Ansley

Nix didn’t call all weekend. Chicken shit. He pukes all over my damn floor and leaves without a word. Asshat! I don’t even know why I try and be friends with the boy. He is out for himself and no one else. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Captain football called. He is failing math and if he doesn’t get his grades up he is benched. How in the hell is it now MY problem? Ugh!! I really don’t want to help him. He barely knows I am alive except for when he needs something. I should have said no, but he will be here in an hour or so. I think I need to start charging all these idiotic jocks for tutoring them. I really don’t know how they play football at all. My son would not be playing if he couldn’t keep his grades up.

October 15th

Nix

The guys called wanting to go to another frat party. Drunk college chicks? I'm in!! I had my pick of the litter at that party...so many fucking half naked drunk chicks and I ended up with the two hottest ones for a threesome! Damn, that was awesome...I remember the blonde one sucking me off while the other one sat on my face. I swear I didn't think she was going to stop cumming. Yeah, I'm doing that shit again!!

October 20th

Ansley

I heard mom and dad fighting about how to help me pay for college. Money is tight, so they aren't sure how they are going to help me pay for college. Since I'm the youngest out of the kids, I get screwed. Looks like I'm going to the community college while my brother gets to go to State. Can't I catch a break? I still haven’t heard from Nix. He passed me in the hall, but didn’t even register I existed.

I am not jealous of his stupid ass. He is going to get crabs if he isn’t careful. It took him all of 5 minutes to move on from Amber...and of all people...a stupid girl from a frat party he went to.  What is he becoming? A man whore? I really shouldn’t worry about his life. One day I am not going to be here.

New kid in school sits by me in English. He seems nice. I am sure he won’t even remember my name. His name is Kolton, but just like all the other guys, I will get overlooked because I am not girly enough. I am a great friend, but not dating material I guess. How's the saying go? Always a bridesmaid, never a bride Not that I want to get married...I just want a boyfriend, or better yet, I'd like to not be known as one of the guys. I can't help it that I grew up with all brothers and I like doing guy things.

October 27th

Nix

I can't believe how much my life has changed...that growth spurt really helped me out over the summer! Never thought I'd be fucking girls for fun. No strings attached, just the way I like it!

Damn, I haven't talked to Ansley in a week or so. Wonder what she's up to? Oh well, I'll catch up to her sometime...

November 2nd

Ansley

I am going on my first date with Kolton. He asked me last week if I wanted to go on a date this weekend. Then he asked if I would go to the Christmas ball in a few weeks. My first dance. I am 17 years old and I feel like a giddy 10 year old. I told mom I wanted to go shopping. She shot me down. So I guess I am going to go through my closet and find something. I really don’t have a lot of girlfriends that I can borrow clothes from.

Still haven't talked to Nix, he is tooooooo wrapped up in getting fucked I guess to call me. Oh well, I guess he will call when he needs something, that seems to be his normal now. Just because I am pissed at him doesn’t mean I won’t be here if he calls. I think he is changing and I am hoping he won’t change too much that he forgets who has been here all along. BLAH!

November 5th

Nix

I need to talk to Ansley about college so I went over and just stood outside her bedroom window. Just couldn't go in.  I think I've outgrown her. We're just in different places and we don't hang with the same groups of people anymore. Heather texted me to come over since her parents weren't home...fuck fest is on!!

November 9th

Ansley

I think I may be in love with Kolton. Yes we just had our first date, but still we had a blast. Mom and dad left for the weekend. After the dinner and the movie on Friday night, he came in and we watched movies until way too late. My brother didn’t care. He was too busy in his room with what’s her name. Well I think it was his girlfriend. Kolton called first thing on Saturday morning and wanted to know if I wanted to spend the day doing whatever we felt like. Which sounded great compared to the nothing I had planned for myself. 

Monday morning he was parked outside in my drive. He gave me a ride to school and one home. I am so freaking giddy.

November 13th

Nix

I went to Ansley's house Friday night.....Who the fuck is this little punk sitting on her couch? FUCK! I know I have no right, but that little shit better treat her right or I will beat his fucking ass. Time to start my weekend with some pussy...I scrolled through my contacts and picked out big tits Tonya....she was a fun ride for the weekend, that bitch will fuck non-stop yo!

November 17th

Ansley

Kolton and I are always together. Mom and dad seem to like him. YEAH me! I guess. We will see.  Nix finally approached me in the hall, but he wanted to know who the little fucker was that I had at my house. I told him to fuck off. I don’t  ask him about all the girls he is supposedly screwing so he can kiss my ass. I am so mad at him. For the first time in my life I don’t want to talk to him. I hope it burns when he pees!

November 20th

Nix

I don't know what the hell crawled up Ansley's ass, but she's been avoiding me lately and I don't like it.  I tried to ask her who that punk was at her house over the weekend and she told me to fuck off. I don't need her bullshit right now!

I wonder what Anika is doing right now...

November 23rd

Ansley

Week two of not talking to Nix! I will survive without him. Kolton is still great. Makes this week three. Friday night we are going out again. Then next week is the winter dance. Mom did finally take me to buy a new dress. I guess she does like Kolton.

November 27th

Nix

Why in the hell is Ansley avoiding me? Why won’t she take my phone calls? And today in the hall she gives me a 'go to hell' look.  I heard a rumor that little prick she's dating is trying to pop her cherry over a dare.  If that's the case, that little fucker will get more than he bargained for - my fist down his throat for starters! No one treats Ansley like a piece of meat.

Chapter 2

Winter 2004

December 4th

Ansley

OMG! I slept with Kolton! We went to a party after the dance. I didn’t get home until five in the morning. Parents were gone again and I asked Kolton to stay. I didn’t plan on sleeping with him, but I needed help out of my dress and one thing lead to another and we ended up in bed together. It definitely wasn't how I thought it would be the first time.  I hurt a little the next morning, but nothing like what I've heard from some of the girls.  I saw Nix at the dance and he tried to talk to me but I ignored him.  Why should I give that asshole the time of day? He has basically blown me off for weeks.

December 7th

Nix

I heard that little prick fucked Ansley.  I'm going to make sure he knows that if he fucks with her that he'll be sorry.  She deserves so much better than that punk Kolton. I keep trying to talk to her but she avoids me at all costs. It's really starting to piss me off! I will be here though when she needs me.  She's Ansley, MY Ansley, my best friend.  God, I sound like a fucking pussy. 

December 9th

Ansley

Kolton seems distant. WTH! I mean really what did I do? He didn’t call all weekend. By Monday morning it was all over school that I had slept with Kolton. Several guys whistled and I heard a couple of cat calls. Why do girls instantly become a slut and boys become studs?  Makes no sense to me. I guess this is what I get for thinking he really liked me....

Week three, I think, of not talking to Nix I really hope he is okay. I guess if he wasn’t he would show up drunk at my window.

December 10th

Nix

That pisshead Kolton had the nerve to come at me in the locker room boasting how he fucked Ansley and how good a lay she was.  Then he had the nerve to gloat over the fact that I've never fucked my best friend. Stupid move dickhead. I really held back on beating his ass for running his mouth. He'll get his soon enough though.

December 13th

Ansley

Kolton broke up with me. I feel like crap. He used me.  I have no one. I feel so alone. I want to call Nix, but why when he doesn’t care?  I mean really. FUCK MY LIFE! My first boyfriend wasn’t even my boyfriend. I can’t get the tears to stop. I can’t even tell my mom why I am crying. Damn Damn Damn!!!

December 17th

Nix

That little FUCKER! He broke up with her! I need to go over to see her. How do I fucking talk to her? I don't know what the fuck to say. I knew that goddamn rumor was true. Fuck I wish I could have stopped it!!

December 21st

Ansley

I can’t eat. I can’t sleep and I don’t even want to crawl out of bed. I am barely making it to school. I am a zombie at school.....I sit in class and don’t pay attention. I hurt and I just want the pain to stop. Why didn’t I listen to myself?

December 24th

Nix

Tomorrow is Christmas day. I plan to spend the rest of the break with Ansley. I need to help her. She's like a walking zombie at school. I'm not letting this break her down.  That mother fucker will be sorry he did this to my Ansley.

Winter 2005

January 2nd

Ansley

I finally answered Nix’s 15 millionth text. He seems to be the only person really worried that I am a fucked up mess. I finally agreed to let him come over. First night it was well after midnight Christmas night. I didn’t ask why he was coming over so late.  It wasn’t worth fighting with him and knowing the truth. We didn’t talk. He just climbed into bed and we just slept. I think I finally slept for the first time in weeks. Why are Nix’s arms so comforting to me? We are changing so much. I laugh because before he could barely wrap his arms around me and now he is like mammoth man and literally engulfs me.  I can’t embarrass his ass but his damn dick keeps pressing into my back and I just roll my eyes. Do all guys really always wake up this way? He told me he does now.  Don’t want to think about it. He kissed me on the cheek as he sneaks out at the break of dawn. My parents would kill him if they found him in my bed. He promised to back later. We will see. I think we will be okay, but in a different way.  I can hope... right?

January 7th

Nix

What the hell am I doing?  I’m going over to Ansley’s in the middle of the night to make sure she’s ok, but I end up with my body wrapped around hers? Why does that feel so damn good?  And to top that shit off, I wake up with a fucking raging hard on every damn time...I need to get my shit straight and make sure she’s ok before I do something I’ll regret. I’m so pissed that Ansley is fucked up over that asshole.  It’s time to take care of this little problem...

January 10th

Ansley

Back at school and I don’t feel like such an outcast. Kolton got his ass busted up. Not sure, he won’t spill his guts to anyone. I have a feeling I know who did it. Nix looked pretty busted up New Years’ Eve when he arrived at my house. He said don’t ask. I didn’t. I know why now. It’s okay. I think that is why everyone isn’t opening their mouths, too afraid of Nix. Hell I would be at this point. He can bench press me with one damn arm I think. We were walking in the cornfield last week right after it snowed and the asshole picked me up with one arm. I kicked and screamed for him to put me down but he just laughed and smacked my ass. Not light either. FUCKER! If he would have dropped me, I would have nailed him in the balls. When he finally put me down he looked at me weird...kinda like he was giving me that fuck me look.  WTH was all that about?

January 13th

Nix

I finally took