Dr. Treekenstein

By Douglas H. Plumb

Dr. Treekenstein gets a government grant to save the trees. Little Jimmy and Woodpile battle Dr. Know, Dr. Treekenstein, and Little Jimmy's ex wife's best friend in an epic adventure to save the earth from extinction in the year 3 428 127 P.C. (Post Computer). Written to be a short and fun parody of the media, worship of science, and environmentalism.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Douglas H. Plumb
• Release date: Jul 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311369277

Book preview

Dr. Treekenstein

Douglas H. Plumb

Smashwords Edition, Published by Douglas H. Plumb

License Notes

You may share this book as much as you wish, but you may not change it's contents. You may copy and give it away, but you cannot sell it. PDF format is probably the most universal.

Power Outage was my first book. This one is way, way, way better, and its funny too, or at least I think so.

Copyright 2015 Douglas H. Plumb

EPUB ISBN: 9781311369277

Contents

1. Dr Treekenstein

2. Little Jimmy

3. Dr Know

4. The Intercranial Fusion Injector

5. The Holographic Generator Set

6. Little Jimmy's Ex Wife's Best Friend

7. The Lumberyard

8. Woodpile

9. Dr. Treekenstein's Palace

Literary Reference

1. Dr. Treekenstein

Way, way, way, way off into the future, in the year 3 428 127 P.C. (Post Computer)....

Water dripped onto Dr. Treekenstein's head from his leaky shack roof as he struggled for a few more minutes of late morning sleep. He finally gave up, woke up, climbed out of bed and began to get dressed. A little ball of light jumped up from his night table and danced to the synthetic music that filled the room. Dr. Treekenstein clapped his hands twice in the air and the little ball of light slowly spiraled down to its resting place, into a little puff of smoke, as it came to rest on his night table. The music stopped and the smoke dissipated.

It was time to go to work. Treekenstein went to his fridge and grabbed a bottle of cetula juice to take with him and ran out to his hovercraft, opened the canopy and jumped in. He turned the key and pulled the lever. The craft jumped around in the air a bit then slowly rested on the ground again. He tried it again, and again until the machine jumped into the air and hovered, waiting for a course to be plotted by its driver.

He pushed the work button. His aging and rusted hovercraft began to accelerate down the hoverway toward his work, accelerating to maximum speed, three hundred and forty seven point one miles per hour. Dr. Treekenstein enjoyed the view of dense bush and tree covered mountains as he lit his cetula pipe, took a long haul and thought about another long day at work.

He always knew how those men that he watched on the holographic generator set felt, when they climbed the highest mountain in the world and were a hundred feet from the top. He had the same feeling every afternoon around ten minutes before the buzzer went off at the end of the day. He wasn't missing a thing.

Some of the birds could be seen to fly away as Treekenstein, followed by some of his fellow workers, slowly hovered their way onto the hover lot, carved out of dense bush, buried in deep mountainous forest, in Region 17, what the ancients referred to as Western United States, to begin their workday as the saws were being fired up early Monday afternoon at Hore's lumberyard and sawmill.

Monday mornings and Friday afternoons had created too much distress and anxiousness and had been voted out as unscientific over three million years ago.

Dr. Treekenstein was the worlds most famous and illustrious tree sturgeon and had been out of a job since they recently started doing all tree sturgeries in Region 382, known as China by the ancients, or so he was told. It was found to be more efficient to uproot the injured trees, put their roots in water and hover them to Region 382 to be operated on, then hover them back to be replanted than it was to have fairly paid tree sturgeons such as Dr. Treekenstein repair them in their natural environments.

They spoke a living language and words continued to change their meaning for the amusement of Legalists long after they had completed their assault on the law, before the P.C. calender had started, in ancient times. Legalists needed work and they had the necessary clout to keep their jobs. The word surgeon referred to the then extinct primitive looking fish and the kinds of doctors that operated on trees, animals and people were now referred to as sturgeons.

It was illegal, with a threat of hefty fines and possible long prison sentences, to refer to licensed